Fiancee feeling hopeless about weight :(
annasor70
Posts: 187 Member
My wonderful fiancee is feeling down, as his numerous attempts to lose weight are constantly failing.
He is 5'9" and about 210 lbs and 36 years old. His build is a little bigger naturally and he is african american.
He feels he would look best at about 185 lbs.
He tries very hard... even going so far as to try cutting out all alcohol and eating super well on a plant based diet for two months and saw no change in the scales or measurements. This really got him down
It is hard to understand why this didn't make at least a SMALL difference!
He has tried working out; doing weights and treadmill a few times a week while eating well and has seen no change.
His weight creeps up when he goes back to eating meat and dairy but then doesn't go down when he stops.
He is feeling a little hopeless right now and just needs to try something where he will see SOME difference, otherwise all his motivation is lost.
Looking for any helpful suggestions for him....especially from men who have gone through this... he is into the idea of a plant based diet so no paleo or atkins please.
Thanks for any ideas and help
He is 5'9" and about 210 lbs and 36 years old. His build is a little bigger naturally and he is african american.
He feels he would look best at about 185 lbs.
He tries very hard... even going so far as to try cutting out all alcohol and eating super well on a plant based diet for two months and saw no change in the scales or measurements. This really got him down
It is hard to understand why this didn't make at least a SMALL difference!He has tried working out; doing weights and treadmill a few times a week while eating well and has seen no change.
His weight creeps up when he goes back to eating meat and dairy but then doesn't go down when he stops.
He is feeling a little hopeless right now and just needs to try something where he will see SOME difference, otherwise all his motivation is lost.
Looking for any helpful suggestions for him....especially from men who have gone through this... he is into the idea of a plant based diet so no paleo or atkins please.
Thanks for any ideas and help
0
Replies
-
If his body isn't responding to a plant based diet, then maybe that isn't the best idea for him. Although it is possible that he's not getting enough healthy fats and proteins. Try incorporating new foods into your diet like eggplant, chickpeas, and avocados if they aren't already there. There are lots of healthy sources for ways to get protein and fat, you just have to be creative. But I suspect, for a man that size doing a plant based diet, he may not be getting all the calories he needs, and maybe he's also not getting the right kinds of calories. 0
-
If his body isn't responding to a plant based diet, then maybe that isn't the best idea for him. Although it is possible that he's not getting enough healthy fats and proteins. Try incorporating new foods into your diet like eggplant, chickpeas, and avocados if they aren't already there. There are lots of healthy sources for ways to get protein and fat, you just have to be creative. But I suspect, for a man that size doing a plant based diet, he may not be getting all the calories he needs, and maybe he's also not getting the right kinds of calories.
He hasn't tried the plant based diet for over a year so that is not the problem. I am saying that nothing works....he has tried everything diet wise.
Besides a plant based diet should certainly not cause one to hold on to weight. We eat plenty of protein and healthy fats but I also don't see how that would cause one to gain weight either way anyhow.
Plenty of people get very healthy and lose weight on a plant based diet.
I am feeling that the problem is more to do with metabolism as he gets older or the way he is working out....?
Maybe some heavier men on here might have some good advice who have gone through this?0 -
My first question would be, is that really an obtainable weight for him? My husband is about that height and his goal weight is to get to 210. Even when he was in the army he could never get smaller than that because he has a huge build. Sure he could alter fat to muscle, but he could never get smaller, even with all the training they made him do.
Maybe your fiance is already at a healthy weight, just not by BMI standards. It sounds like he eats well and works out. I'd suggest looking into body fat % for a better goal. Then even if he can't drop weight, he could still exchange fat for muscle.
He'd probably be best speaking to a trainer who can work with him for a couple weeks in a row to help monitor what he's doing.0 -
It sounds like it is working actually. You say that as of now, with his meat diet, he's gaining weight. When he eats differently and works out, he maintains. That's the difference there. To lose weight he needs to make a bigger change.
The type of diet he does is irrelevant, be it meat or plant based. Sounds like he's still consuming too many calories. You can eat vegetarian and clean and still consume too many calories.0 -
Love the idea of discussing with a trainer...we will do that!
Also, yes..he may never be as small as he would like and maybe needs to embrace being a bigger guy, working on muscle size and tone and waist reduction.
The waist reduction part is very hard for him but he is able to build muscle fast.0 -
He's similar to me in age and weight, so I'll chime in.
I'm 5'9", 35, was 263, got down to 170 at my lowest. I hover between 175-180 when I'm in decent shape.
In my non-expert opinion he should focus more on counting calories, not eliminating food groups. It's the calorie count that makes you gain or lose weight. Yes a diet of primarily vegetables sounds very healthy. But if he were to be eating 3,000 calories of just veggies a day (which would take some work) he'd still gain. And you can eat 1,500 calories of meat and still lose. (number are abritrary just to make a point)
He's a guy, I doubt he wants to be small. Just fit.
Sign him up for MFP if he hasn't already. Figure out his calories and TDEE and all that. Have him eat to fit his calories and macros, especially protein.
As far as exercise I like running and lifting. It's a great combination to reduce fat and maintain/improve muscle. But any combination of cardio and strength training will be very beneficial.
Hope this helps. Just what I've learned in my time here.0 -
Even with a plant-based diet, it's necessary to count calories to make sure you're creating a deficit. I know plenty of vegans and vegetarians who struggle with their weight because they still overeat carbs. Potatoes, rice, pasta, bread...it adds up quickly.0
-
If his body isn't responding to a plant based diet, then maybe that isn't the best idea for him. Although it is possible that he's not getting enough healthy fats and proteins. Try incorporating new foods into your diet like eggplant, chickpeas, and avocados if they aren't already there. There are lots of healthy sources for ways to get protein and fat, you just have to be creative. But I suspect, for a man that size doing a plant based diet, he may not be getting all the calories he needs, and maybe he's also not getting the right kinds of calories.
He hasn't tried the plant based diet for over a year so that is not the problem. I am saying that nothing works....he has tried everything diet wise.
Besides a plant based diet should certainly not cause one to hold on to weight. We eat plenty of protein and healthy fats but I also don't see how that would cause one to gain weight either way anyhow.
Plenty of people get very healthy and lose weight on a plant based diet.
I am feeling that the problem is more to do with metabolism as he gets older or the way he is working out....?
Maybe some heavier men on here might have some good advice who have gone through this?
plant based diet without an emphasis on enough plant protein would be (and is - I've tried it) disasterous for me. I'm very insulin resistant even when I'm thin and fit, it's just part of my make up unfortunately. Too many carbs - even good healthy unprocessed carbs just overload my body, my insulin spikes (what little my body still makes) and I go into fat storage mode. I won't lose weight, and I start losing muscle (which slows down my metabolism even further). So there ARE cases where a plant based diet can not work for someone.
I like MudRunLvr's suggestions - might be a place to start? For what it's worth I understand the hopeless feeling. I'm feeling very frustrated myself. Diet alone is not cutting it for me right now, and I've been tearing tendons with regular every day activity - so lifting like I did before just isn't an option right now. For what it's worth - I have managed to lose weight but it was a long intense road and required steadfast commitment - yoga and weight lifting were KEY for me. I did a program called Body-For-Life (yoga added on top)... it's the only thing that has ever worked for me (mind you - I know I haven't tried EVERYTHING out there yet but I'd tried a lot of different things).0 -
My wonderful fiancee is feeling down, as his numerous attempts to lose weight are constantly failing.
He is 5'9" and about 210 lbs and 36 years old. His build is a little bigger naturally and he is african american.
He feels he would look best at about 185 lbs.
He tries very hard... even going so far as to try cutting out all alcohol and eating super well on a plant based diet for two months and saw no change in the scales or measurements. This really got him down It is hard to understand why this didn't make at least a SMALL difference!
He has tried working out; doing weights and treadmill a few times a week while eating well and has seen no change.
His weight creeps up when he goes back to eating meat and dairy but then doesn't go down when he stops.
He is feeling a little hopeless right now and just needs to try something where he will see SOME difference, otherwise all his motivation is lost.
Looking for any helpful suggestions for him....especially from men who have gone through this... he is into the idea of a plant based diet so no paleo or atkins please.
Thanks for any ideas and help
Just a thought -- Is there any kind of meat he is ok with> eggs? Perhaps subbing low starch/leafy plants for beans and bread; adding more coconut and olive oils while consuming a small to moderate amount of high quality meats (grass fed beef, pastured poultry, wild salmon) would work with his philosophy and goals.0 -
I think men need protein... but when you are sourcing protein from non-meat sources, it's REALLY easy to go way over.
I would suggest that he log for a while without making any real changes... even if he writes it in a book, not on mfp, there might be a trend of a qty he's off on.
I thought I was doing great after I had my baby. Everything was healthy food, but my portions were all off. I had no batteries in my scale so I didn't get to weigh in.
I hope he finds something that works for him!0 -
Really..the diet is not the problem and he is still eating some meat. I am vegan and I am usually over on protein but not on calories and I am very active with dance. There are so many kinds of great healthy proteins; lentils, tempeh, beans, quinoa, many veggies, nuts, seeds, etc.
There are also many vegan body builders and runners out there.
I DO have a sneaking suspicion that his 1 to 2 glasses of wine, vodka or whiskey a day and his insistance on dessert may be issues however
I feel that if he sees a trainer,logs, also maybe takes up running or hikes more with me, curbs the alcohol and desserts that this may be what he needs..?
Makes sense? 0 -
Post up an average days food comsumption for your fiancee, along with his exercise regime. That might help us work out what might be slipping in his day to day routine.0
-
Post up an average days food comsumption for your fiancee, along with his exercise regime. That might help us work out what might be slipping in his day to day routine.
An average WEEK day may look something like this (occasionally there might be cake at the office or cookies or very rarely maybe drinks and appetizers with friends)
Weekends he is more indulgent. He might have fries or a burger or other naughtier items and we might be with friends at dinner where he will eat cheese pizza or heavier meat items ad bread.
Breakfast; Tea black
2 slicer of toast with earth balance non dairy spread and jam
Half a banana
Sometimes a half mug of smoothie with berries, protein powder, kale, amla, cocoa powder, flax seed
Lunch; Big salad with greens, veggies, small amount of meat, croutons, fruits, low fat dressing, a little cheese, third cup brown rice
Water
Dinner: Vegan pizza on wholewheat crust with tempeh bacon, mushrooms, garlic, zucchini, walnuts and nutritional yeast on top, fresh tomatoes, arabiatta sauce, olive oil.
Side salad with olive oil, lemon, nut dressing.
1-2 drinks of wine or whiskey
Half bar chocolate
Water
Exercise might be a hike of about twenty minutes with the dogs or an hour at the gym; elliptical and weights..but exercise on average once or twice a week right now.0 -
Look at my diary and it may give you a hint. I eat quite a bit of meat and dairy, I lift weights and I run. It comes down to calories in vs. calories out and he needs to be accurately counting what he eats and what he burns. A kitchen scale and measuring cups and spoons can go a long way towards success. If he wants to be vegan, okay, but it certainly isn't necessary or even optimal for health.
Can he go with fish and eggs? Both are great sources for both protein and good fat.0 -
I DO have a sneaking suspicion that his 1 to 2 glasses of wine, vodka or whiskey a day and his insistance on dessert may be issues however
Ding ding ding!
Vegan or not, the fact is if one consumes more cals than their body burns, they gain weight.0 -
Has he been averaging about 1500 net calories and not seen the results?
I know many people THINK they try, but a drink here, a dessert there, and they re at 2200-2500 net calories, which is simply too high to lose any significant amount of bodyfat in one week.0 -
I DO have a sneaking suspicion that his 1 to 2 glasses of wine, vodka or whiskey a day and his insistance on dessert may be issues however
Ding ding ding!
Vegan or not, the fact is if one consumes more cals than their body burns, they gain weight.
yep - alcohol is a huge culprit. Any soda too? And logging your food - as much as it is a HUGE pain in the butt - it really is insightful.
Also - I'm not seeing a lot of protein (plant or otherwise) in his first two meals of the day. make the protein shake more frequent or add in more plant protein (or animal based - I'm not opposed to animal proteins but vegetarian seems to be a goal for the both of you). Seriously some people do okay with low amounts of protein, some of us don't - we're not all created the same, what works great for you might not work for him - he has to find his own path.0 -
I am about 15% body fat now (need to update my pic), at 167 or so lbs, same height, 2 years younger than your fiancée. Around thanksgiving 2012 I was 210. I have a small build, so majorly skinny fat.
Please get him onto MFP and I will be happy to help him out with some motivation! What did it for me was leangains. You can certainly do that on a plant based diet, have wine, ice cream, etc... As long as you get enough protein and not too many calories.
He absolutely, with no room for argument, needs to start measuring food with a scale and measuring cups. That is non-negotiable if he wants to make progress in his scenario.0 -
I DO have a sneaking suspicion that his 1 to 2 glasses of wine, vodka or whiskey a day and his insistance on dessert may be issues however
Ding ding ding!
Vegan or not, the fact is if one consumes more cals than their body burns, they gain weight.
yep - alcohol is a huge culprit. Any soda too? And logging your food - as much as it is a HUGE pain in the butt - it really is insightful.
Also - I'm not seeing a lot of protein (plant or otherwise) in his first two meals of the day. make the protein shake more frequent or add in more plant protein (or animal based - I'm not opposed to animal proteins but vegetarian seems to be a goal for the both of you). Seriously some people do okay with low amounts of protein, some of us don't - we're not all created the same, what works great for you might not work for him - he has to find his own path.
Be careful with this. You really don't have to cut out foods to lose weight. You have to cut down on some foods as you have to leave room for the essentials, but don't go down the road of never having a dessert or a drink. It's hard to sustain that over time.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.8K Introduce Yourself
- 43.9K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153.1K Motivation and Support
- 8.1K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 15 News and Announcements
- 1.2K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions