The mental aspect of losing 100+ pounds

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  • casy84
    casy84 Posts: 290 Member
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    I am more confident, so I'm no longer the good girl that used to take c%# from people, now I fight back and I love my new found strength. I am a bit worried that I exagerate in my goals and every time I get close to them I set a higher one instead. Overall I am a lot happier, I enjoy new things and love myself more.

    Have any of your relationships suffered?

    Yes, one, but I don't regret it. That girl is the 'queen bee' type and I refused to be one of her subjects.
  • LoudmouthLee
    LoudmouthLee Posts: 358
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    It's just a difficult thing to do.. to figure out what stays and what goes. Something does have to give.
  • Grumpy2208
    Grumpy2208 Posts: 63
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    There's something called "to be". It's harder said than done. But worth giving a try.
  • andiroot
    andiroot Posts: 43
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    Im just afraid of isolating and removing all aspects of my old life.

    it sounds like you're not so much worried anymore about if you were good enough before,
    now it seems like you feel the relationships you had & people you knew when your were big, are no longer good enough for you.
  • nurse2022
    nurse2022 Posts: 18
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    I am just starting this and have lost 14 pounds with over 100 to go. I'm finding I really like doing this and it is an incredible
    encourager, when I see I met the daily goal etc.... My biggest problem in the past, and afraid it will resurface, is that when
    people compliment me I begin to put the weight back on. It's like when they acknowledge the good work, I get afraid that
    I won't keep it up...and then I don't. Any suggestions?
  • Wag1one
    Wag1one Posts: 46
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    OP;

    what is so bad in questioning everything?
    Does that make you fragile? What's fragile about it?
    I don't understand.
    People don't hesitate to clean their cars, change career, declutter their homes, moving countries etc - so what's the big deal about questioning our lives and getting rid of those people and things which causes us unhappiness?. What's fragile and "mental" about it?

    See, the thing is losing weight was just one aspect of your life which probably dominated every other areas of your life. Once you fixed that, life happened to you. Now the real fun will begin. Now start dissecting your life piece by piece and letting go of everything and everyone who is just not worth your mental anguish.

    Sometimes things happen and people we meet who shows us what we are holding back, brings us back to our own attention, tear down our walls, smack us awake, shake us up, tear apart our ego a little bit, show us our addictions and obstacles, break our heart open and makes us so desperate and out of control - and reveal another layer of ourselves and then boom they leave. There's nothing bad about that. Because the whole point is to find ourselves and learn to accept who we are. And there's nothing wrong nor mental in thinking too much and letting those people go.

    I apologise if I came across too blunt. Sometimes being aware means letting go. And letting go means living.
  • JessiBelleW
    JessiBelleW Posts: 822 Member
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    I read your post and I really tried to read between the lines as well. It sounds (to me) as if you are worried about how your new weight, and the lifestyle changes you made to get to this new weight will affect the relationships you have.

    I feel that all relationships go through pressure points and changes. Ie your best friend gets a new bf/gf and their focus and priories change. Some of your priories, and habits had to, and did change when you lost weight. Lots of us have trouble with this: friends want to meet us for dinner, catch up over coffee or desert or invite us to a party where it sucks to be the non-drinker/ be the person who is only having a few.

    As your priories and focuses change it is natural to gravitate towards people with the same focuses - you want to be fit and healthy, perhaps your new popular friends think this is important too.

    I think the best thing to do is evaluate your relationships and go from there. You said its tough to figure out what stays and what goes. Ask yourself do this person make your life better? Do you feel as if this relationship gives you back as much as you put in? Does the joy this person gives you out weight the stress they bring to your life. These questions could also be applied to things/ activities (I assumed you were talking about people but maybe you are talking about activities?) People who care about you (no matter how much you weigh) will make time to try and see you/hang out, even when your schedule is busy/inconvenient, the same way you try to carve out some time to see people who are importation to you

    I once told my close friend Kat that I felt I received more out of our friendship than I gave to it, she gave me a funny look and said Oh, I always felt that I got more than I've given you.

    Hope this helps sort out your head and wasn't too waffley

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