How do you deal with...

squall88c
squall88c Posts: 69 Member
in Motivation and Support
... people telling you that they like your face better when it was a little larger?
... people telling you that they like you better when you were fat because you look better bulky?

Had a few comments like these for the past week.
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Replies

  • iceman7840
    iceman7840 Posts: 110
    No one says stupid stuff like that to me. I always get great compliments.
  • wswilliams67
    wswilliams67 Posts: 938 Member
    Ignore the haters... it only matters what YOU think. You have to live in your body not them.
  • carlos13th
    carlos13th Posts: 40 Member
    Your doing this for yourself not them.
  • squall88c
    squall88c Posts: 69 Member
    Looking back I can count comments like that with one hand.
    But I got all those comments within a week so it got me thinking.
  • iwantmylifeback2
    iwantmylifeback2 Posts: 12 Member
    Those people are only trying to stop your progress. They may mean well but are ignorant to the fact that you are making a lifelong change for your health's sake. You may even try telling them that no one looks better when they are overweight? duh? and walk away leaving them their to think about how foolish their comment was ! Then smile and keep up the good work.. CONGRATULATION on your successful weight loss thus far... :smile:
  • fourtwingles
    fourtwingles Posts: 43 Member
    I agree that these are he people wanting to see you fail. Keep up the good work and congrats.
  • alliemarie77
    alliemarie77 Posts: 378 Member
    Misery loves company! They see how great your looking, and are just trying to drag you back down. Stay focused, and keep on pushing for your goal.
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
    Ignore.png
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
    Pretend it's just a pesky fly noise. It's the voices in my head that are harder to ignore.
  • aynhagenbarth
    aynhagenbarth Posts: 75 Member
    I had that happen to me too. I was 140 and a size 6 and tons of "friends" told me that I looked better at 150...etc. I let them affect me and I gained weight, but I will never do that again. I actually told the friends that I didn't appreciate the negativity and I felt awesome, and that they can feel free to keep the comments to themselves. If that happened to me today, those people would not be in my life anymore.
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    When I lost more weight than I intended and then regained a few people told me I looked better at the higher weight. I would tend to agree. Therefore, I should probably work at maintaining muscle mass next time I lose so that I can have a lower BF% overall but with more actual fat IYSWIM.
  • britwebb1386
    britwebb1386 Posts: 1 Member
    I keep telling my friends and family that I want to loose 30 lbs and they all give me that "why? you don't like you need to" I am on the high end of the normal bmi section on the bmi chart, just over into overweight. I hate it when they say that to me, they don't know! But, most of these people are larger than me which, you know, i don't judge them. Sure, I'm not super overweight, but I feel self conscious about myself and the way I look. So what if I want to weigh what I did in high school. Everyone says "no one weighs what they were in high school", but I don't agree with that . Anyway, sorry I know this isn't exactly the same as what was asked but I thought about this as soon as I read it.
  • theawesomes
    theawesomes Posts: 10
    Positive people comment on your assets-- such as "your waist looks smaller" or "you much feel so much better after losing weight"...When someone makes a negative comment when there are so many obvious positives, it seems a bit weird on their part
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
    Understand that people are used to seeing you a certain way. Change makes people uncomfortable. When you lose weight, you look dramatically different and it can take time for people to get used to it. I'd wager that most of them will feel differently once you've been at your goal weight for a while. Try not to let it get to you.
  • squall88c
    squall88c Posts: 69 Member
    Thanks for the comments, everyone.
    I feel better now.

    Great support in MFP!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Punch them in the face.
  • wannabpiper
    wannabpiper Posts: 402 Member
    Say something in kind: "You looked better BEFORE you opened your mouth today."
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    I had a friend I felt this way about when he started getting fit. I never said anything to him.

    I realized later it was because I had a huge crush on him and the change just took me time to adapt to (because he lost all the weight when he moved away and when I went to see him he looked radically different).

    I got over it.
  • HereCOMESErika
    HereCOMESErika Posts: 16 Member
    ... people telling you that they like your face better when it was a little larger?
    ... people telling you that they like you better when you were fat because you look better bulky?

    Had a few comments like these for the past week.

    Brush it off and DO U!!!!
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Kicking them in the junk and then lifting something heavy or running really far.
  • shinesunfish
    shinesunfish Posts: 93 Member
    Wow, a lot of cranky people on here. Honestly, it's probably not jealousy or misery - they're just used to you being a certain way, and not sure how to react to the new you. I had a friend lose over 50 pounds. Because she did not do it in a healthy way, it looked startling on her body (little muscle, protruding bones) While I never told her to her face that she looked better before she lost the weight (because that's a little socially awkward), I definitely thought it, and it had nothing to do with jealousy. As long as you are being healthy, the comments should totally pass when people get used to the way you look. Congratulations on all your hard work!
  • squall88c
    squall88c Posts: 69 Member
    I had a friend I felt this way about when he started getting fit. I never said anything to him.

    I realized later it was because I had a huge crush on him and the change just took me time to adapt to (because he lost all the weight when he moved away and when I went to see him he looked radically different).

    I got over it.


    This reminds me...
    In the near future I'll be meeting a group of friends who haven't seen me since December.
    Got to be prepared for the good/bad comments.
    Need to also prepare for a one-line answer for the question "How'd you do it?".
  • KageyKat
    KageyKat Posts: 45
    I just ignore them. I had a woman today ask if I was still trying to lose weight. I said yes but it is going slower now. She said well what you lost was all water weight and now I have to lose the fat.. Hmmm 39 pounds lost and all water...lol
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
    you tell them u feel a lot better and healthier since u lost weight
  • JBsCrazyGirl
    JBsCrazyGirl Posts: 337
    They just trying to make you feel low.
    Embrace the great feelings you are working so hard to get for,

    Yourself :wink:
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    Punch them in the face.


    I thought this...

    Just ignore it. Do what makes you happy
  • squall88c
    squall88c Posts: 69 Member
    you tell them u feel a lot better and healthier since u lost weight

    True that.
    I actually & am quicker, stronger, faster than I was 40lbs ago.
  • Tiff050709
    Tiff050709 Posts: 497 Member
    Some people...You gotta wonder what is going through their head when they say things!
    Don't let it bother you though. You are trying to be a healthier you and that's what matters most.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    These people are entitled to their opinions (although I see no reason to be verbal to you about it)...it doesn't mean you need to change what you are doing however. You are doing this for you, not for them. Their opinions simply don't matter!
  • MorbidMander
    MorbidMander Posts: 349 Member
    I get people like this all the time, mostly family but a few in my class as well. It used to get to me, but you really just have to say *kitten* them. Their opinion about your body is what it is, an opinion. It doesn't matter unless you give their opinion value. So, I've chosen when people say, "Oh you looked better 30 pounds ago" to ignore it. I'm not trying to be attractive to them, I'm trying to be healthier and how I feel now is worth so much more then someone's two cents on my appearance. So they can shove their unwanted opinion up their rear end.

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