Now I'm healthy, I don't pull D: LOL

iwillbetinytea
iwillbetinytea Posts: 264 Member
in Chit-Chat
I thought when I got a bit thinner/healthier/lost weight I would get attention off men. Haha I don't mean like pervy ogling just some extra attention. But nope. Piffle. Where am I going wrong?!

I'm not trying to be vain or anything, I don't think I'm special...I just thought the odds would increase lmao
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Replies

  • BigDaddyRonnie
    BigDaddyRonnie Posts: 506 Member
    Because I never saw you.

    If I did, I would definitely say hello! :drinker:
  • iwillbetinytea
    iwillbetinytea Posts: 264 Member
    Maybe I need a sign...HA!
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteous
    Sublimely_Self_Righteous Posts: 429
    You're pretty and if you're a nice person with great qualities, you'll find someone. I don't know you so I couldn't give any advice as to where you might be going wrong. Maybe you're the type who guys do give that extra attention to, but you don't realize it?
  • Shauncho49
    Shauncho49 Posts: 132 Member
    don't worry...it'll happen. you're super cute! just give it time.
  • iwillbetinytea
    iwillbetinytea Posts: 264 Member
    I dunno, I certainly don't feel like I am
  • babydiego87
    babydiego87 Posts: 905 Member
    I'm in the forever alone camp too
  • ndegwa
    ndegwa Posts: 169
    you're now out of the league that would normally try... thats why!
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  • callhimrodneyafterdave
    callhimrodneyafterdave Posts: 97
    you women are scary things lol us men have no chance!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    do you go out or put yourself out there? How do you come across? As intimidating or a "talk to me, I'm fun!"?
  • auria17
    auria17 Posts: 94 Member
    I think people are attracted to the energy and charisma that is given off by a person, when you have had a big change physical or otherwise sometimes the inside hasn't changed with the outside and you are giving off the same vibe that you did before...
  • OllyReeves
    OllyReeves Posts: 579 Member
    Is there a possibility that your confidence has not yet caught up with the new look?

    I would definitely be looking twice in your direction if I saw you :)
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    in for pervy ogling
  • galvestongal
    galvestongal Posts: 186 Member
    you're now out of the league that would normally try... thats why!

    I agree with this. Some men are intimidated by pretty women like you and fear being shot down themselves.
  • IzzyM210
    IzzyM210 Posts: 54 Member
    Are you socially awkward because I am and Nobody ever talks to me lol :laugh: It Just takes me a while to come around I guess.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    You know, I was in that same place a year ago. I couldn't understand why I was getting less attention than before I lost weight. But I really think it's a confidence thing. I had some confidence as a heavier woman, until I realized that I wasn't happy with it, then lost my confidence. Eventually though, I became comfortable in my new skin and got my confidence back.

    Maybe you just haven't really embraced the new you yet. People are all the time saying that they still see themselves as fat even after they have lost. A lot of people need a little time to adjust mentally. Maybe you are just in that phase right now, and men are picking up on it.
  • iwillbetinytea
    iwillbetinytea Posts: 264 Member
    in for pervy ogling

    Everyone loves a bit of pervy ogling, but sometimes it's nice to have the right sort of attention lmao
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    <---Forever alone.
    But I have a cat so it's okay. Get a cat OP.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    one thing goes up: one thing goes down.

    It's probably your attitude or confidence is less.
  • djkronyx
    djkronyx Posts: 77 Member
    Sometimes it's the vibe you give off. Just like anything in life you have to work hard to become good at it. Work on exuding your confidence and the men will take notice. Also, it never hurts to wear form fitting clothes if you're looking to turn some heads. Those jeans you bought before you were fit probably don't look as nice on you now, lol ;)
  • IzzyM210
    IzzyM210 Posts: 54 Member
    You know, I was in that same place a year ago. I couldn't understand why I was getting less attention than before I lost weight. But I really think it's a confidence thing. I had some confidence as a heavier woman, until I realized that I wasn't happy with it, then lost my confidence. Eventually though, I became comfortable in my new skin and got my confidence back.

    Maybe you just haven't really embraced the new you yet. People are all the time saying that they still see themselves as fat even after they have lost. A lot of people need a little time to adjust mentally. Maybe you are just in that phase right now, and men are picking up on it.
    Yup! what she said!!
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    I say this from experience... it's very rare for a guy to buy me drinks or approach me unless I'm feeling very relaxed and uninhibited, cause normally I have a very low tolerance for stupidity and just don't appear approachable (so say most of the guy friends I have)

    Your looks, mostly defines which men will notice you... which is way more than you think. It's like nearly everyone.

    Your vibe and the venue, defines which (of the ones that notice) will approach. It's just a risk calculation, not "intimidation" or "leagues". Surrounded by 10 friends? Eject. *****face? Avoid, unless a hardened player looking for a challenge. Friendly and fun and alone? Approach.

    For the record, only very confident men will cold-approach strange women. You'll get a much higher *kitten* ratio than exists in reality if you depend on that, as opposed to social network.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    They're terrified of you! How intimidatingly cute you are!
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    A good pushup bra always increases the attention one receives. Just an observation.
  • babydiego87
    babydiego87 Posts: 905 Member
    <---Forever alone.
    But I have a cat so it's okay. Get a cat OP.
    I have TWO cats!
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
    Uh... Hi!
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    Where are you going that you are expecting this increase in attention?

    I'd wager that you've gotten looks by many men, but they most likely thought you didn't want to be bothered by them. It's a mine field for regular guys today...sure the d-bags don't care and do what they want, but most guys lack the confidence to approach someone if it is hard to tell if they would be "open" to it.

    I'd suggest you do the approaching.
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  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I agree with the others. You need a combination of confidence and being approachable. You need to go places where it is more likely to meet someone. Smile, flirt. Show interest in the men you are interested in. Move in an appealing way. Nothing forced. Just be aware of not being all slumpy or something. Wear clothes that look good and make you feel good. These are just some ideas.
  • djkronyx
    djkronyx Posts: 77 Member
    Is it that you don't pull at ALL or just not pull the guys you WANT??? Big difference. . . Many women who say they can't find a man are turning down a lot while waiting for that perfect 10 to sweep them off their feet. Just saying :wink:

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