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    Now I'm healthy, I don't pull D: LOL

    Posts: 264 Member
    edited January 25 in Chit-Chat
    I thought when I got a bit thinner/healthier/lost weight I would get attention off men. Haha I don't mean like pervy ogling just some extra attention. But nope. Piffle. Where am I going wrong?!

    I'm not trying to be vain or anything, I don't think I'm special...I just thought the odds would increase lmao

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    Replies

    • Posts: 506 Member
      Because I never saw you.

      If I did, I would definitely say hello! :drinker:
    • Posts: 264 Member
      Maybe I need a sign...HA!
    • Posts: 429
      You're pretty and if you're a nice person with great qualities, you'll find someone. I don't know you so I couldn't give any advice as to where you might be going wrong. Maybe you're the type who guys do give that extra attention to, but you don't realize it?
    • Posts: 132 Member
      don't worry...it'll happen. you're super cute! just give it time.
    • Posts: 264 Member
      I dunno, I certainly don't feel like I am
    • Posts: 905 Member
      I'm in the forever alone camp too
    • Posts: 169
      you're now out of the league that would normally try... thats why!
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    • Posts: 97
      you women are scary things lol us men have no chance!
    • Posts: 5,573 Member
      do you go out or put yourself out there? How do you come across? As intimidating or a "talk to me, I'm fun!"?
    • Posts: 94 Member
      I think people are attracted to the energy and charisma that is given off by a person, when you have had a big change physical or otherwise sometimes the inside hasn't changed with the outside and you are giving off the same vibe that you did before...
    • Posts: 579 Member
      Is there a possibility that your confidence has not yet caught up with the new look?

      I would definitely be looking twice in your direction if I saw you :)
    • Posts: 6,171 Member
      in for pervy ogling
    • Posts: 186 Member
      you're now out of the league that would normally try... thats why!

      I agree with this. Some men are intimidated by pretty women like you and fear being shot down themselves.
    • Posts: 54 Member
      Are you socially awkward because I am and Nobody ever talks to me lol :laugh: It Just takes me a while to come around I guess.
    • Posts: 15,228 Member
      You know, I was in that same place a year ago. I couldn't understand why I was getting less attention than before I lost weight. But I really think it's a confidence thing. I had some confidence as a heavier woman, until I realized that I wasn't happy with it, then lost my confidence. Eventually though, I became comfortable in my new skin and got my confidence back.

      Maybe you just haven't really embraced the new you yet. People are all the time saying that they still see themselves as fat even after they have lost. A lot of people need a little time to adjust mentally. Maybe you are just in that phase right now, and men are picking up on it.
    • Posts: 264 Member
      in for pervy ogling

      Everyone loves a bit of pervy ogling, but sometimes it's nice to have the right sort of attention lmao
    • Posts: 2,780 Member
      <---Forever alone.
      But I have a cat so it's okay. Get a cat OP.
    • Posts: 2,564 Member
      one thing goes up: one thing goes down.

      It's probably your attitude or confidence is less.
    • Posts: 77 Member
      Sometimes it's the vibe you give off. Just like anything in life you have to work hard to become good at it. Work on exuding your confidence and the men will take notice. Also, it never hurts to wear form fitting clothes if you're looking to turn some heads. Those jeans you bought before you were fit probably don't look as nice on you now, lol ;)
    • Posts: 54 Member
      You know, I was in that same place a year ago. I couldn't understand why I was getting less attention than before I lost weight. But I really think it's a confidence thing. I had some confidence as a heavier woman, until I realized that I wasn't happy with it, then lost my confidence. Eventually though, I became comfortable in my new skin and got my confidence back.

      Maybe you just haven't really embraced the new you yet. People are all the time saying that they still see themselves as fat even after they have lost. A lot of people need a little time to adjust mentally. Maybe you are just in that phase right now, and men are picking up on it.
      Yup! what she said!!
    • Posts: 1,133 Member
      I say this from experience... it's very rare for a guy to buy me drinks or approach me unless I'm feeling very relaxed and uninhibited, cause normally I have a very low tolerance for stupidity and just don't appear approachable (so say most of the guy friends I have)

      Your looks, mostly defines which men will notice you... which is way more than you think. It's like nearly everyone.

      Your vibe and the venue, defines which (of the ones that notice) will approach. It's just a risk calculation, not "intimidation" or "leagues". Surrounded by 10 friends? Eject. *****face? Avoid, unless a hardened player looking for a challenge. Friendly and fun and alone? Approach.

      For the record, only very confident men will cold-approach strange women. You'll get a much higher *kitten* ratio than exists in reality if you depend on that, as opposed to social network.
    • Posts: 6,998 Member
      They're terrified of you! How intimidatingly cute you are!
    • Posts: 16,947 Member
      A good pushup bra always increases the attention one receives. Just an observation.
    • Posts: 905 Member
      <---Forever alone.
      But I have a cat so it's okay. Get a cat OP.
      I have TWO cats!
    • Posts: 1,206 Member
      Uh... Hi!
    • Posts: 976 Member
      Where are you going that you are expecting this increase in attention?

      I'd wager that you've gotten looks by many men, but they most likely thought you didn't want to be bothered by them. It's a mine field for regular guys today...sure the d-bags don't care and do what they want, but most guys lack the confidence to approach someone if it is hard to tell if they would be "open" to it.

      I'd suggest you do the approaching.
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    • Posts: 8,927 Member
      I agree with the others. You need a combination of confidence and being approachable. You need to go places where it is more likely to meet someone. Smile, flirt. Show interest in the men you are interested in. Move in an appealing way. Nothing forced. Just be aware of not being all slumpy or something. Wear clothes that look good and make you feel good. These are just some ideas.
    • Posts: 77 Member
      Is it that you don't pull at ALL or just not pull the guys you WANT??? Big difference. . . Many women who say they can't find a man are turning down a lot while waiting for that perfect 10 to sweep them off their feet. Just saying :wink:
    This discussion has been closed.

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