Intimidation in the "weight room"
ic3co0l
Posts: 57 Member
OK guys, I'm new to using weights, machines, etc. AT the gym. On top if it all, I'm always SOOOOO intimidated to go into the weight room to do what needs to be done. The only time when I can go there is like during late hours when NO ONE IS THERE (not practical).. Other than that, I normally go into a seperate room to use the small barbells, stability balls.. but I'd RATHER go to the weight room and use the machines/equipment there.
I'm scared because:
Firstly, I am alone... and it's clear that I don't really know what I"m doing.
Secondly, this gym is very small knit, and not that much equipment going around.. basically EVERYONE is watching what you're doing at all times because it is that small and limited.
Thirdly, it's mostly males in there. I know the most obvious choice is to find another gym, but WHY should I have to find a super far gym... and I generally DO like this gym, just not the people.. which sucks.
This sounds like a bunch of excuses, I know.. but trust me...this isn't really funny! I think it makes it 10x more difficult because I'm alone and a beginner? (and NO i'm not finding a gym partner anytime soon).
HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST???? SHOULD I REFRAME MY MIND? what hours of the day should I go.. SHOULD I NOT CARE? i DON'T KNOW!!
Thanks
I'm scared because:
Firstly, I am alone... and it's clear that I don't really know what I"m doing.
Secondly, this gym is very small knit, and not that much equipment going around.. basically EVERYONE is watching what you're doing at all times because it is that small and limited.
Thirdly, it's mostly males in there. I know the most obvious choice is to find another gym, but WHY should I have to find a super far gym... and I generally DO like this gym, just not the people.. which sucks.
This sounds like a bunch of excuses, I know.. but trust me...this isn't really funny! I think it makes it 10x more difficult because I'm alone and a beginner? (and NO i'm not finding a gym partner anytime soon).
HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST???? SHOULD I REFRAME MY MIND? what hours of the day should I go.. SHOULD I NOT CARE? i DON'T KNOW!!
Thanks
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Replies
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You shouldn't care really, TBH, as long as you go in, workout, ask for help when needed, then no-one really cares
The only people who are not liked in the weights room, are the chatty non workers.
That's coming from someone who used to be a chatty non worker. now I go in and lift, no-ones arsed.0 -
To be fair, I completely get where you're coming from.
It's not even necessarily a beginner thing, I had a similar situation when I moved house a few years ago and went to a new spot.
What I found was this though - if it's a very tight, small gym without much equipment then the people there are probably better adjusted than most when it comes to working with each other, making room for each other and helping each other out.
The same proximity and cramped nature of the facilites probably creates a very real camaraderie and level of consideration.
So just ask some one for a bit of help on a quiet day. When they've sat down and are clearly resting just ask.
It initiates contact with the other users, get's you a helping hand and the conversation will probably help relax you too.
Next time you go back - chances are there'll be a friendly face to greet you and most people I know will keep an eye on you while you train if they know you're quite new. Not in a judgemental way, purely protectively.0 -
Go in and use the equipment. You have as much right as anyone else.
And I think you'll find the guys in the gym will actually respect taking an interest in lifting and using the equipment appropriately.
kind regards,
Ben0 -
you need to stop making excuses.:happy: yes, i do understand where you are coming from, but it's always easier to avoid doing something than to step out of our comfort zone.
You're alone - so what? I actually prefer going to the gym alone, this way i can work out at my own pace and not worry about someone else.
It's a mostly male gym - again, so what? the previous gym i went to was mostly hard core weight lifting men with a few women thrown in for good measure. also very small. but people helped one another - all you need to do is ASK
People are probably not watchng you as much as you think they are. Most weigh lifters just want to concentrate on what they're doing, not some HS drama.
My advice - put on your big girl panties, and just do it. Ask for help from the staff to begin with. it's also ok to ask fellow gym-goers what they are doing and why (just not during a set).0 -
Is there a gym-employee who can show you good form for the moves you want to do?
I've managed to go into aerobics classes that have been all women apart from me - you can do this just fine
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I'm sure you'd find people happy to spot you for a set, which might be a good start to chatting with them so you get to know them - and they get to feel all manly as relatively the weights should be very light for them if they do need to lift it off, etc!0 -
I found a gym that doesnt cater to bodybuilders or powerlifters...planet fitness is great for "us" people that want to lose weight and get in shape, not try to be the next Adonis.0
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Ask one of the friendlier looking ones to give you advice on deadlifts or something.0
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Or maybe they are watching because you have a smoking hot body. Who gives a ****, just go in there and do your thing. The only way you're going to overcome your fear is by conquering it. Honestly, if I'm looking at a machine and have no idea what I'm doing I just go at it like a caveman. Once you build an arsenal of exercises you'll be unstoppable. Go in there and put in your work, people will probably look at you more but you won't realize it - because you are determined and know what you are doing. Whether or not you are looking for a partner, I would suggest finding one. Can only get better, go in there and own it.0
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You shouldn't care really, TBH, as long as you go in, workout, ask for help when needed, then no-one really cares
The only people who are not liked in the weights room, are the chatty non workers.
That's coming from someone who used to be a chatty non worker. now I go in and lift, no-ones arsed.
This.. WE ARE ALL human , well some are part beast but most of us are only human just like you
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I was very intimidated when I first made my way over to the free weights side of my gym. People were very friendly, have offered to spot me if needed and I still have guys help me unload the bar. It has been a good experience for me. I see the same faces now (guys and girls) and don't feel out of place at all.
Just go in and do your thing. If you need help, ask someone. People are usually willing to help other people.0 -
Just walk in there like u own the place...0
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I think it's probably more because you're "the new one" - I've been going to my gym for only a few weeks, and the first week I DID get stared at. Now I think they've figured out I'm a regular now, so they're not paying much attention anymore.
On the plus side - my looking like I don't know what I'm doing has gotten me a couple great convos with the more experienced people on form/diet/whatever.0 -
Hey, I get the intimidation thing. I use a university gym so depending on the time I use it the amount of staring, leering or grouping around individual bits of equipment can actually make you want to cry and call your mumma (not to mention the grossness of not wiping down after sweating all over everything).
My advice is trial going a few different times of the day; for me the best time is early in the am, the crowd is normally older or more serious; as in they know why they are there and are getting in and getting it done. The other thing is lift your head up and meet peoples eyes; sounds silly I know but often times when we are intimidated we miss the opportunities of friendship that genuine people will offer if they guess you are nervous or scared. 0 -
If you can afford it, hire one of the personal trainers that work in that gym for one session. They can "hold your hand" and show you around the weight area, so the next time you go won't be as intimidating.0
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You have as much rite to use it as anyone else I ****ing hate those ball bags who act like its theirs and look at you as if you are a ****ing burglar .... Always the same bunch off chatty machine hogging clearly bullied in school wankers at my gym I make a point of using whatever they are trying to block of anyone else using this isn't ****ing North Korea I pay my fees ill use whatever the **** I want ... Hey I gotta say feel better now thanks :laugh: :laugh:0
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Just walk in there like u own the place...
This.
If there is a planet fitness near you, they have free trainer sessions with a black membership, it is $20 a month.
People stare and watch everywhere you go, not just the gym. I try to be discreet but I check out the guys at my gym too.
Yeah, thats right, we women do it too.
Maybe you are hot and that is why they look?0 -
When I am worried about looking like I don't know what I'm doing, I do some research in advance. So that I know what I'm doing.
There are great books about lifting form and the best exercises to do in the weight room. The New Rules of Lifting for Women and Starting Strength are the classics; also have a look at the sticky posts in this group:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/4618-stronglifts-5x5-for-women
I am not a guy so I don't know what's going through their minds when they see a woman in the weight room. I suspect they either don't care or like seeing you there. Any guy who thinks you don't belong there isn't worth worrying about. Send him back to the Middle Ages where he belongs. I wear noise-canceling earbuds and don't talk to anyone at the gym except to ask if they are using a piece of equipment that I need. Good luck!0 -
I found a gym that doesnt cater to bodybuilders or powerlifters...planet fitness is great for "us" people that want to lose weight and get in shape, not try to be the next Adonis.
I lol'd0 -
When I am worried about looking like I don't know what I'm doing, I do some research in advance. So that I know what I'm doing.
There are great books about lifting form and the best exercises to do in the weight room. The New Rules of Lifting for Women and Starting Strength are the classics; also have a look at the sticky posts in this group:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/4618-stronglifts-5x5-for-women
I am not a guy so I don't know what's going through their minds when they see a woman in the weight room. I suspect they either don't care or like seeing you there. Any guy who thinks you don't belong there isn't worth worrying about. Send him back to the Middle Ages where he belongs. I wear noise-canceling earbuds and don't talk to anyone at the gym except to ask if they are using a piece of equipment that I need. Good luck!
I'm a guy and I definitely notice and pay some attention to what other people are doing in the gym. Usually in the free weight area, there's less people as its a smaller area. In between my sets I tend to see what other people are doing and pretty quickly mentally classify them as someone who knows what they're doing or not. If they go into my mental "not" category, that's about all the attention I pay to them unless they start doing something that looks like its about to hurt themselves. If the person seems to know what they're doing, I'm more likely to pay more attention to see how their workout compares to my own...
The whole "watching someone else" is just making a mental assessment for a couple seconds and then moving back to my own workout.0 -
Everyone started at the bottom with no idea how to lift properly. From time put into the weight room and asking questions, that is how the rest of us has learned and gotten comfortable in there. Just get in there and if you have questions, ask someone. You need to get out of your comfort zone and it'll make it a lot easier each subsequent time.0
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You're 22 years old. I'm sure you've been in situations like this before. New jobs, new schools, and new things.
You just have to go, ask questions, and get more comfortable with the environment.0 -
I feel the same.
Today I asked one of the trainers if I could bring along my book (NROLFW) and get some advice on how to use the squat rack and load up barbells safely and to go over form for the exercises in the programme.
I've been wanting to start it for ages and I just needed that little bit of help to get going.0 -
if you are concerned with not knowing what to do, i suggest watching some videos on form or how to perform various exercises that you want to do before you go to the weight room - so that you feel more confident and that you know what and how to do the exercises. i used to feel intimidated when i wet into the weight room but now i just plan my workout in my head and focus on what i am going to do- put my earphones in and go to work. music really helps.0
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I understand how your feeling , because i feel that way some of the time. It comes and goes with me.
At the same time i started paying attention and honestly most of the people in the weight room don't seem to know what there doing anyways.0 -
I found a gym that doesnt cater to bodybuilders or powerlifters...planet fitness is great for "us" people that want to lose weight and get in shape, not try to be the next Adonis.
From my experience most gyms do not cater to that certain demographic of clientele. If that were the case most establishments would be out of business IMO because bodybuilders / powerlifters / ect make up a very small percentage of the clientel that go to the gym to workout and get fit. I have been in many gyms (Golds, Worlds, Planet Fitness, Lifetime Fitness, Anytime Fitness, Balley's (sp?), and many others) and the most that I find that is the common denominator in all of them is that they have the average Joe or Jane and not body builders or any type of other specific demographic The only exception to this rule I would think would be a place like a boxing gym or MMA gym but even at that there are plenty of the average individuals that attend these places.
I really like the Planet Fitness model but the colors drive me nuts. Also the lack of free weights is a little annoying IMO but for a $10 / month membership it is hard to beat if one is on a tight budget.0 -
i was intimidated too. i found what helped was educating myself on the exercises i was going to do (deadlifts, squats) ahead of time and that way i wouldn't look too much like an idiot. still, though, you can always ask for help. at my gym, it's kind of a "scene" and i haven't felt comfortable asking anyone for help. also, i have a trainer who i train with 2x a week and i ask her some questions sometimes.
just don't quit.0 -
Here you go ladies:
http://www.amazon.com/New-Rules-Lifting-Women-Goddess/dp/1583333398
Or find some people here that are lifters, friend them and they can perhaps give you some advice if you don't want to spend the money for the book.0 -
HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST???? SHOULD I REFRAME MY MIND? what hours of the day should I go.. SHOULD I NOT CARE? i DON'T KNOW!!
It is going to take you to just get out there and do it. The guys on the floor may look intimidating but they would be thrilled to have someone new to help out. Most (not all) guys on the floor will be more then willing to answer a question you have or to show you a thing or two if they are asked because most at one time or another were in the same boat you are in. If not that then maybe go early in the the morning when they first open up... this way it will be lass of a crowd.
On thing I would recommend is picking up some reading material and research up before you go in and mix it up so you have an idea of what to expect. Books such as "Starting Strength" by Mark Rippatoe or online www.stronglifts.com is also a great place to start. These two sources are excellent starting points for the beginner and even the advanced. I have been an athlete most of my life and I enjoy both of the both. Many women also like "The New Rules of Lifting for Women" but I have not read that one so I can not comment on it but many of the ladies here on MFP really seem to dig it.0 -
I completely understand how you feel. That sort of intimidation kept me out of the gym for years. I was, for some reason, terrified that people would be watching and judging me. But after I started going, I realized that it was all in my head. Most people at the gym are either focused on their own workout or looking around because they are just as unsure of themselves as you are. Or they are checking people out.
Once you start going, you will feel a lot better about it and the regulars will start recognizing you, and you them.
As far as not knowing what you are doing, stick with basic compound movements such as benching, squatting, deadlifting, etc and learn the proper forms for them. Watch Youtube videos about them, read up on them, record yourself and have a knowledgable person critique your form, etc. After you master those and begin identifying weak areas, start adding in some other lifts amd isolation movements to supplement the compound movements. Again, read amd watch videos for form.
The one thing that I cannot stress enough is to generally ignore any advice at the gym. Most people don't know what they are talking about and are just parroting misinformation they heard elsewhere. Learn for yourself from reputable sources.0 -
Put your ear phones on and don't make eye contact with anyone and do your thing!! I'm the only woman in the weight room at my gym generally and I would also suggest afternoons, usually just seniors there then. Good Luck, you can do this!!0
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