Intimidation in the "weight room"

ic3co0l · June 2013

OK guys, I'm new to using weights, machines, etc. AT the gym. On top if it all, I'm always SOOOOO intimidated to go into the weight room to do what needs to be done. The only time when I can go there is like during late hours when NO ONE IS THERE (not practical).. Other than that, I normally go into a seperate room to use the small barbells, stability balls.. but I'd RATHER go to the weight room and use the machines/equipment there.

I'm scared because:
Firstly, I am alone... and it's clear that I don't really know what I"m doing.
Secondly, this gym is very small knit, and not that much equipment going around.. basically EVERYONE is watching what you're doing at all times because it is that small and limited.
Thirdly, it's mostly males in there. I know the most obvious choice is to find another gym, but WHY should I have to find a super far gym... and I generally DO like this gym, just not the people.. which sucks.

This sounds like a bunch of excuses, I know.. but trust me...this isn't really funny! I think it makes it 10x more difficult because I'm alone and a beginner? (and NO i'm not finding a gym partner anytime soon).

HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST???? SHOULD I REFRAME MY MIND? what hours of the day should I go.. SHOULD I NOT CARE? i DON'T KNOW!!

Thanks

CarlKRobbo · June 2013

You shouldn't care really, TBH, as long as you go in, workout, ask for help when needed, then no-one really cares

The only people who are not liked in the weights room, are the chatty non workers.

That's coming from someone who used to be a chatty non worker. now I go in and lift, no-ones arsed.

BigDougie1211 · June 2013

To be fair, I completely get where you're coming from.
It's not even necessarily a beginner thing, I had a similar situation when I moved house a few years ago and went to a new spot.
What I found was this though - if it's a very tight, small gym without much equipment then the people there are probably better adjusted than most when it comes to working with each other, making room for each other and helping each other out.
The same proximity and cramped nature of the facilites probably creates a very real camaraderie and level of consideration.
So just ask some one for a bit of help on a quiet day. When they've sat down and are clearly resting just ask.
It initiates contact with the other users, get's you a helping hand and the conversation will probably help relax you too.
Next time you go back - chances are there'll be a friendly face to greet you and most people I know will keep an eye on you while you train if they know you're quite new. Not in a judgemental way, purely protectively.

benol1 · June 2013

Go in and use the equipment. You have as much right as anyone else.
And I think you'll find the guys in the gym will actually respect taking an interest in lifting and using the equipment appropriately.
kind regards,

Ben

MyJourney1960 · June 2013

you need to stop making excuses.:happy: yes, i do understand where you are coming from, but it's always easier to avoid doing something than to step out of our comfort zone.

You're alone - so what? I actually prefer going to the gym alone, this way i can work out at my own pace and not worry about someone else.

It's a mostly male gym - again, so what? the previous gym i went to was mostly hard core weight lifting men with a few women thrown in for good measure. also very small. but people helped one another - all you need to do is ASK

People are probably not watchng you as much as you think they are. Most weigh lifters just want to concentrate on what they're doing, not some HS drama.

My advice - put on your big girl panties, and just do it. Ask for help from the staff to begin with. it's also ok to ask fellow gym-goers what they are doing and why (just not during a set).

geebusuk · June 2013

Is there a gym-employee who can show you good form for the moves you want to do?

I've managed to go into aerobics classes that have been all women apart from me - you can do this just fine

.

I'm sure you'd find people happy to spot you for a set, which might be a good start to chatting with them so you get to know them - and they get to feel all manly as relatively the weights should be very light for them if they do need to lift it off, etc!

anthonyflores982 · June 2013

I found a gym that doesnt cater to bodybuilders or powerlifters...planet fitness is great for "us" people that want to lose weight and get in shape, not try to be the next Adonis.

darrensurrey · June 2013

Ask one of the friendlier looking ones to give you advice on deadlifts or something.

Mattdemon · June 2013

Or maybe they are watching because you have a smoking hot body. Who gives a ****, just go in there and do your thing. The only way you're going to overcome your fear is by conquering it. Honestly, if I'm looking at a machine and have no idea what I'm doing I just go at it like a caveman. Once you build an arsenal of exercises you'll be unstoppable. Go in there and put in your work, people will probably look at you more but you won't realize it - because you are determined and know what you are doing. Whether or not you are looking for a partner, I would suggest finding one. Can only get better, go in there and own it.

Chadomaniac · June 2013

You shouldn't care really, TBH, as long as you go in, workout, ask for help when needed, then no-one really cares

The only people who are not liked in the weights room, are the chatty non workers.

That's coming from someone who used to be a chatty non worker. now I go in and lift, no-ones arsed.

This.. WE ARE ALL human , well some are part beast but most of us are only human just like you

hsnider29 · June 2013

I was very intimidated when I first made my way over to the free weights side of my gym. People were very friendly, have offered to spot me if needed and I still have guys help me unload the bar. It has been a good experience for me. I see the same faces now (guys and girls) and don't feel out of place at all.

Just go in and do your thing. If you need help, ask someone. People are usually willing to help other people.

gerard54 · June 2013

Just walk in there like u own the place...

grggmrtn · June 2013

I think it's probably more because you're "the new one" - I've been going to my gym for only a few weeks, and the first week I DID get stared at. Now I think they've figured out I'm a regular now, so they're not paying much attention anymore.

On the plus side - my looking like I don't know what I'm doing has gotten me a couple great convos with the more experienced people on form/diet/whatever.

Bounce2 · June 2013

Hey, I get the intimidation thing. I use a university gym so depending on the time I use it the amount of staring, leering or grouping around individual bits of equipment can actually make you want to cry and call your mumma

(not to mention the grossness of not wiping down after sweating all over everything).
My advice is trial going a few different times of the day; for me the best time is early in the am, the crowd is normally older or more serious; as in they know why they are there and are getting in and getting it done. The other thing is lift your head up and meet peoples eyes; sounds silly I know but often times when we are intimidated we miss the opportunities of friendship that genuine people will offer if they guess you are nervous or scared.

stepnerd · June 2013

If you can afford it, hire one of the personal trainers that work in that gym for one session. They can "hold your hand" and show you around the weight area, so the next time you go won't be as intimidating.

What316 · June 2013

You have as much rite to use it as anyone else I ****ing hate those ball bags who act like its theirs and look at you as if you are a ****ing burglar .... Always the same bunch off chatty machine hogging clearly bullied in school wankers at my gym I make a point of using whatever they are trying to block of anyone else using this isn't ****ing North Korea I pay my fees ill use whatever the **** I want ... Hey I gotta say feel better now thanks :laugh: :laugh:

SpazQ · June 2013

Just walk in there like u own the place...

This.

If there is a planet fitness near you, they have free trainer sessions with a black membership, it is $20 a month.

People stare and watch everywhere you go, not just the gym. I try to be discreet but I check out the guys at my gym too.
Yeah, thats right, we women do it too.

Maybe you are hot and that is why they look?

bumblebums · June 2013

When I am worried about looking like I don't know what I'm doing, I do some research in advance. So that I know what I'm doing.

There are great books about lifting form and the best exercises to do in the weight room. The New Rules of Lifting for Women and Starting Strength are the classics; also have a look at the sticky posts in this group:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/4618-stronglifts-5x5-for-women

I am not a guy so I don't know what's going through their minds when they see a woman in the weight room. I suspect they either don't care or like seeing you there. Any guy who thinks you don't belong there isn't worth worrying about. Send him back to the Middle Ages where he belongs. I wear noise-canceling earbuds and don't talk to anyone at the gym except to ask if they are using a piece of equipment that I need. Good luck!

RGv2 · June 2013

I found a gym that doesnt cater to bodybuilders or powerlifters...planet fitness is great for "us" people that want to lose weight and get in shape, not try to be the next Adonis.

I lol'd

jhc7324 · June 2013

When I am worried about looking like I don't know what I'm doing, I do some research in advance. So that I know what I'm doing.

There are great books about lifting form and the best exercises to do in the weight room. The New Rules of Lifting for Women and Starting Strength are the classics; also have a look at the sticky posts in this group:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/4618-stronglifts-5x5-for-women

I am not a guy so I don't know what's going through their minds when they see a woman in the weight room. I suspect they either don't care or like seeing you there. Any guy who thinks you don't belong there isn't worth worrying about. Send him back to the Middle Ages where he belongs. I wear noise-canceling earbuds and don't talk to anyone at the gym except to ask if they are using a piece of equipment that I need. Good luck!

I'm a guy and I definitely notice and pay some attention to what other people are doing in the gym. Usually in the free weight area, there's less people as its a smaller area. In between my sets I tend to see what other people are doing and pretty quickly mentally classify them as someone who knows what they're doing or not. If they go into my mental "not" category, that's about all the attention I pay to them unless they start doing something that looks like its about to hurt themselves. If the person seems to know what they're doing, I'm more likely to pay more attention to see how their workout compares to my own...

The whole "watching someone else" is just making a mental assessment for a couple seconds and then moving back to my own workout.

eatcleanNtraindirty · June 2013

Everyone started at the bottom with no idea how to lift properly. From time put into the weight room and asking questions, that is how the rest of us has learned and gotten comfortable in there. Just get in there and if you have questions, ask someone. You need to get out of your comfort zone and it'll make it a lot easier each subsequent time.

Intimidation in the "weight room"

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