135 LBS GONE!!!!!!

In December 2011, I was a very different person then I am right now.... I was sad I was depressed and I was very very overweight. On New Years Eve, I was at home alone sitting on my chair watching the rest of the world enjoy the new start of the year, set goals, and laugh and hold onto the one they love and kiss them. And I cried. I didn’t want to go on in life anymore. I was at the end of my rope. I sat there that night of new fresh beginnings and planned how to end my life. I didn’t want to keep going the way I was. I then stopped. I saw my kids, my two wonderful beautiful children who deserved to have a mom there for them. Not only did they deserve to have me there. But they deserved to have a mom who was a whole part of there lives, not one who sat on the sidelines and watched them live because I was too unhealthy to get out there and live with them. So I knew at that point I had a simple choice. I either shut up or put up. I either just end it so my kids didn’t have to watch me slowly kill myself with being overweight and creeping up on 400 lbs... Or... I change.. I wanted to change. That is the night I changed
I started this journey and I set a lofty goal of losing 90 lbs by September 12, which was my 35 birthday. By August I was down 92 lbs. I had lost more than ten year old son weighed... I was shocked. And I challenged myself again. I was going to lose 100 lbs by the time I was 35. That gave me one month to lose that weight and to achieve something I never thought I could to do. On September 8th, I woke up and I could not believe what I saw .... so I stepped off and on again... and did that three more times. I had done it. I had achieved something I never thought in my life I could do. Something that when I was at my most hopeless was merely a dream to me... I had lost 100 lbs before I turned 35!!! 101 lbs to be exact.
In October the local ice rink opened. And something I had always wanted to do was to take my kids skating. Not just them skating but me out there on the ice going around with them, chasing them, racing them, laughing and having fun. On October 8th..... I got to do that. But something else amazing happened that day. An old friend of mine from high school whom I had been chatting with about my progress and stuff on Facebook, asked if he could come along. I thought it would be fun, he was an old friend….. and he was cute. He showed up that day, we skated and had fun and we enjoyed ourselves. I didn’t plan on it, I didn’t know it could happen, but somewhere along the lines of the losing the weight, I had figured out how to love myself... and by doing that, allowed myself to open up to falling in love with an amazing man, who also could love me for who I was. I am now engaged to that cute friend that came with me. He is my rock, he is my support, he is the one person I had dreamt of meeting my whole life and didn’t think was going to happen. I have never felt more love and more happiness than I do in my life now. I know that my journey and weight loss have allowed me to become the person who felt she deserved that love so I could accept it. I know that if I didn’t achieve my goals...I would never have been able to believe that someone as wonderful as my fiancee could ever love me, only because I didn’t love myself.
This past New Years, I cried again. Not because I was sad or lonely, but because I was the mother I have always wanted to be, I was in love with an amazing man who kissed me and told me he loved me at midnight, I so happy, so loved, so grateful and so healthy. Making these changes not only gave me my health back, but gave me the confidence to love and be loved. The ability to be the mom I have always wanted to be.... and the bride I dreamt of being. I am now down 135 lbs and am still working at it everyday making the changes to get to where i want to be in life.. and I know that I can do it!!!!!

Jan 2012

June 2013