Why am I so scared of the gym

I don't know what is wrong, but I just can't get my head around going to the gym. I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

Its really inhabiting my progress.

Every time I gear up to go, my own self conscious lets me down :'(

Does anyone have any ideas?
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Replies

  • murphy612
    murphy612 Posts: 734 Member
    This might not help much, but you're not alone :) There are so many people that are intimidated by the gym, but the only way to get over it is to just do it. I wrote a blog post about this very thing http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/murphy612/view/does-this-treadmill-make-me-look-fat-263800

    It's been a year and half and I still come up with at least 3 reasons to not go to the gym that day, but I still go. Something that makes it a little easier is to have a plan before you go. There is nothing worse then going and standing there lost and not knowing what to do. Have a plan, walk in like you own the place and get your workout done! You can do it!!
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    99% of the people in the gym are too focused on their own selves to care about what anyone else is doing. And even if they do judge who cares what some random small minded stranger thinks? You are doing great by facing your fear and going!

    Just think if you go to the gym today how much further along will you be in 6 months or a year than if you never go. Everyone has to start somewhere! Make this your day!
  • MzManiak
    MzManiak Posts: 1,361 Member
    Why do people think gyms are a bunch of big muscular people ganging up on the newbies and picking them apart?? Get your butt to that gym! Most of the people in there are out of shape. Every one in there is there to become better versions of themselves. If they wanted to sit around and judge others, they would go to the mall or something.
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    It's perfectly natural to be self conscious about exercise but the truth is that unless you do something to draw attention to yourself like making a grand entrance wearing a shocking pink spandex outfit no one will even notice you. (I used to be very self conscious about wearing running tights in public until I realized that we runners have become such a normal part of the urban landscape that we may as well be invisible)

    Have you got someone you can go with? There's strength in numbers....

    In any event you need to make a decision as to what's more important; the fear of feeling embarrassed or taking that first step towards a healthier/fitter you. As FDR said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself".......

    In anyone does notice you at the gym they're more likely to have a positive opinion of you for making the decision to take better care of yourself.
  • oldandhealthier
    oldandhealthier Posts: 449 Member
    Is it possible that some people have unpleasant memories of gym class back in school? Just wondering if that could cause some kind of phobia.
  • nacv77
    nacv77 Posts: 2
    I can understand your fear of the gym. I've been there too. The truth is though, no one there will judge you. I have found that most of the people in the gym are (a) too busy with their own workout to notice what you are doing (like indicated by Ready2Rock206) or (b) more than happy to help and encourage you to reach your own success.

    If you are still timid about it, I encourage you to invite a friend who has similar goals to yours. Not only will this be a great form of motivation, but you'll have each other to lean on when that fear raises its nasty head. A few people I know met their first loss goal at home (there are loads of workouts - short and long - on YouTube for variety) until they felt a little more comfortable to start visiting the gym.

    Just remember, in the long run you are doing this for you, and no one else's opinion should deter you from that.

    Best of luck!! I'm rooting for ya!!
  • ChristinaR720
    ChristinaR720 Posts: 1,186
    I have lost 35 pounds without going to the gym. I have an elliptical and hand weights at home, and I plan to invest in kettle bells, too. When I started this process, I knew my limitations and my lack of motivation for the gym was a big one. So, I made a relatively small investment and essentially brought the gym to me. I have recently added running to the mix and, with less than 10 pounds to go, I will reach my goal without having set foot inside of a gym.

    But, if you feel like the gym is the best for you, then I agree with the previous posters who have said that people aren't there to judge you. And, if they are, their opinions of you shouldn't matter. Do what you need to do and try not to worry about them! You're there for YOU!
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Everybody feels this way.

    The reality is, if anybody notices you and sees jiggling, they're thinking "You go! I wish I could tell her how inspirational she is without embarrassing her."
  • dawnymc1
    dawnymc1 Posts: 29
    I felt the same way when I started going, so I join a gym for women only. I eventually joined a unisex gym and even though I felt a little intimidated I received just as much if not more support from the members at the unisex gym. Guys can't wait to show you proper form if they see how committed you are. I became a fixture in the gym after a while, I found Tito be a real ego booster. 170lbs lost later I don't regret my decision to " man up" and join the gym :happy:
  • dawnymc1
    dawnymc1 Posts: 29
    I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Everybody feels this way.

    The reality is, if anybody notices you and sees jiggling, they're thinking "You go! I wish I could tell her how inspirational she is without embarrassing her."

    Exactly!
  • admegamo
    admegamo Posts: 175 Member
    At three of the gyms I've joined in my town and at our local Whole Foods, I've been heavily made fun of. At the whole foods, a guy and his friends moo'd at me. I'm 28 and each time it was by people my age or older who were being jerks.


    I think that depeding on where you live and probably many other things, you might run into people who have just not matured. I weigh well over 300lbs and I like to stick on some headphones (they have cool "sport" type so your ears don't get all mucky and they stay in). When I'm focused with some good fast tempo music, nothing matters and I don't notice anyone.If I think someone or people are making me the subject of their "evil" thoughts or mean words, I just refocus my eyes to an area that no one is standing and keep pushing on.

    ***I was partly trying to reply to this comment as well***

    Why do people think gyms are a bunch of big muscular people ganging up on the newbies and picking them apart?? Get your butt to that gym! Most of the people in there are out of shape. Every one in there is there to become better versions of themselves. If they wanted to sit around and judge others, they would go to the mall or something.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    i want you to think about the fact that the reason all those fit people are at the gym, is because there is something about themselves that they want to correct.

    just like you.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    also, worried about people??? start going as early as possible. less people there.
  • MissMormie
    MissMormie Posts: 359 Member
    Call the gym you think about going to about what times are the quietest. Then schedule an introduction session for that time. It'll get you in the gym, with someone that explains to you what is what at a time where there's not too many other people around. This could be late at night, this could be very early in the morning, or half way through the day. Don't worry about always having to come in at that time, just do it for the first few times to get a feel for the gym. Then slowly change your time to the time that fits you best, regardless of how many people there are.

    Do make that introduction appointment, it'll help you get in there for the first time!
  • MK608
    MK608 Posts: 47 Member
    You know what, when I'm at the gym, I don't pay attention to anyone.. I'm too busy concentrating on my own workout and making sure I'm kicking my own butt! It's not always easy, but try to remember that you're probably spending more time being self conscious than the amount of time anyone else is even noticing that you're there. And if they do notice you're there, they are probably thinking about how great it is that you're there!! You can do it :)
  • MK608
    MK608 Posts: 47 Member
    At three of the gyms I've joined in my town and at our local Whole Foods, I've been heavily made fun of. At the whole foods, a guy and his friends moo'd at me. I'm 28 and each time it was by people my age or older who were being jerks.


    I think that depeding on where you live and probably many other things, you might run into people who have just not matured. I weigh well over 300lbs and I like to stick on some headphones (they have cool "sport" type so your ears don't get all mucky and they stay in). When I'm focused with some good fast tempo music, nothing matters and I don't notice anyone.If I think someone or people are making me the subject of their "evil" thoughts or mean words, I just refocus my eyes to an area that no one is standing and keep pushing on.

    This story makes me really sad!! I'm sorry you've had that experience :/ Major kudos to you for blocking it out and getting your workout in!
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
    I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Everybody feels this way.

    The reality is, if anybody notices you and sees jiggling, they're thinking "You go! I wish I could tell her how inspirational she is without embarrassing her."

    Completely agree. I always send positive thoughts and good vibes to anyone I notice who's obviously working super hard.

    I was terrified of the gym. But then I noticed that probably 1% of the people at the gym were in fantastic, fitness model shape. The rest of us are just plugging along, doing the best we can. I call my gym Average Joe's because with the exception of Steve the Pirate it's just like Average Joe's in Dodgeball. There are people at all levels of fitness, all shapes and sizes and all ages. Seriously, there are a number of people at least in their mid-70's who work out there. Now if they can get to the gym regularly, then I don't have much of an excuse.

    Do it! You'll be so proud of yourself when you're done!
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    The best thing I can tell you is to go anyway. Most people are not paying any attention to you. But even if they are, why should you let them keep you from going? You've just as much right to be there as they do. Don't let fears of things that haven't even happened keep you from progressing.
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
    At three of the gyms I've joined in my town and at our local Whole Foods, I've been heavily made fun of. At the whole foods, a guy and his friends moo'd at me. I'm 28 and each time it was by people my age or older who were being jerks.


    I think that depeding on where you live and probably many other things, you might run into people who have just not matured. I weigh well over 300lbs and I like to stick on some headphones (they have cool "sport" type so your ears don't get all mucky and they stay in). When I'm focused with some good fast tempo music, nothing matters and I don't notice anyone.If I think someone or people are making me the subject of their "evil" thoughts or mean words, I just refocus my eyes to an area that no one is standing and keep pushing on.

    I'm sorry that happened to you and so glad it didn't stop you from taking control of your fitness. I hope that you at least reported to the gym management the other patrons who were making fun of you? That is not acceptable behavior from any one.
  • Rjohnsonjr32
    Rjohnsonjr32 Posts: 117
    I don't know what is wrong, but I just can't get my head around going to the gym. I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Its really inhabiting my progress.

    Every time I gear up to go, my own self conscious lets me down :'(

    Does anyone have any ideas?

    It is just your self consciousness, I say J.D.I. (Just Do It)...If they have time to look at you and make fun of you at the gym, then they are not in the gym for the right reasons and are wasting their time and others time as well. That is my take on it. No one will be making fun of you at the gym. Just go in with the intention of gaining knowledge and burning fat and calories!! I was self conscious as well, but I received lots of help and support and I was able to join a couple people and they trained me for free!! I gained lots of knowledge and now I am ready and thinking about training people myself. Take your headset and go in and do your thang!!! Don't worry about anyone else.
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
    I can understand the intimidation, but you need to realize that it's mostly in your head. How can I say this delicately... guys generally don't pay attention to overweight girls, just like girls don't generally pay attention to overweight guys. I was overweight, and I found that I was practically invisible at the gym. The hot girls didn't even want to get caught looking at me, let alone making eye contact, for fear that it could give me ideas.

    Personally my eyes tend to wander to people who are obviously making a serious effort. I know it's hard work, and I respect guys/girls who are giving it their all. I see a big girl drenched in sweat, and I tell myself she's gonna go far. Can't wait to see how she looks the same time next year.

    One of my pet peeves is somebody sitting on a stationary bike pumping lightly at the lowest setting while reading a magazine or browsing on an ipad or smartphone. I know it's better than sitting still, but I can't help to think that he/she could have invested more effort into it.
  • 1duffwf
    1duffwf Posts: 76 Member
    99% of the people in the gym are too focused on their own selves to care about what anyone else is doing. And even if they do judge who cares what some random small minded stranger thinks? You are doing great by facing your fear and going!

    This 100%!! I use to work at a gym and that was always what I would tell new members. Honestly it's the truth. When I work out I'm too busy focusing on myself to care what everyone else is doing. The only time I might notice someone working out is if they are in the weight room making horrible grunting noises. Or if they are hogging the machine I want and making grunting noises. Or if they are hot. :laugh:

    Seriously though - just get in there and do it! Become a regular. Don't be surprised if you start seeing some kick butt results..and another member takes notice (in a positive way).
  • Tiff050709
    Tiff050709 Posts: 497 Member
    I don't go to the gym either and I don't want to. Aside from the fact that I am just naturally a person that doesn't want to be around people when I'm working out, I am a mom of 3 and getting out would be difficult. My husband works a demanding job and is not home Mon-Thurs and I am not going to put that much pressure of myself to go Fri, Sat and Sun. I have started my own gym in the basement. I have weights, a weight bench, ball, a treadmill and am finally getting an elliptical! Yay! My little gym works great for me and I can do it whenever I want to, which happens to be 6 times a week.
  • Catjag
    Catjag Posts: 107
    I don't know what is wrong, but I just can't get my head around going to the gym. I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Its really inhabiting my progress.

    Every time I gear up to go, my own self conscious lets me down :'(

    Does anyone have any ideas?

    If I saw you huffing and puffing I would think "Good on her, look at her kicking butt". So get up and go kick some booty! :)
  • mandylgibbs
    mandylgibbs Posts: 185 Member
    As a fellow "jiggler'" I have to say that I did notice that I got a lot of stares when I started my new gym membership. I couldn't tell if the looks were pitty or pride, but I went anyway. I actually thought about having a tshirt made that said "I'm a big loser" on the front, and with the amount of weight I've lost on the back. I don't need anyone's pity or judgement.

    Anyway, I kept going and going and going and now I get big grins or no one notices me at all...either one is great. One girl hopped on the treadmill beside me. She was a little older and bigger than me. She said, " I saw you running the other day. I was so proud of you. "

    For all the people who will judge you and stare, and there will be some, there will be people who want to find a way to say that they know how hard it is, and that they're proud of you for being there. You must believe me. If you give the gym a chance, those who are proud and encouraged by you will eventually say so, and the haters will eventually eat their words.
  • amariecarr
    amariecarr Posts: 16
    Honestly, there may be people that notice you from time to time.

    As everyone has mentioned, everyone feels super insecure about this when they first join the gym. What I do is work on machines with TV screens or near TV screens or plug in my ipod so that I am distracted and don't notice other people (who may or may not be noticing me). Eventually, when you build up a routine and get used to being there you won't care that you're surrounded by so many other people.

    What I care MORE about are the people who might see me in that super unflattering facebook picture or whatever else moves us to lose the weight or tone up. You'll feel WAY better in the long run and it'll only cost you a few sessions of feeling uncomfortable to get used to working out with and in front of other people.
  • Showcase_Brodown
    Showcase_Brodown Posts: 919 Member
    I was a little intimidated at first, but then I realized there was nothing to be scared of. I think most of the people there will have nothing but respect for you if you are trying to improve yourself. Like many others have said, you have to start somewhere.
  • Lovdiamnd
    Lovdiamnd Posts: 624 Member
    I used to have anxiety attacks when I stepped into the gym. I joined a boot camp of around 5 or 6 people which gave the ability to meet people and befriend the trainer. Once you go enough (every day), know your way around, and get a routine it should be a bit easier.
  • I had the same anxiety. I did a lot of pop-in's until I found a time that no one seemed to frequent... At first, when someone joined me, I'd stop my workout immediately and leave. Then, one day, I forced myself to go just a little further and subtly watch THEM in the big scary mirror... and realized they were totally focused on their own workout. I still get a little ehhhh if 3-5 people show up in my section, but I just force myself to go on. Afterall, if I don't, I'll always worry about my jiggles and wobbles...
  • ruth3698
    ruth3698 Posts: 305 Member
    I don't like going to the gym either.I usually just do dvd workouts and go to the local track late at night or early in the morning.I get really, really, really red when I work out .my face looks like it caught fire lol.I then having people asking me if I'm ok, etc and I hate that.I say, workout wherever you are most comfortable.I feel like I put more effort in when I don't feel self conscious. There was one gym that had a dark room for there cardio.I loved it but its too far of a commute to go.