Why am I so scared of the gym

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  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
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    I can understand the intimidation, but you need to realize that it's mostly in your head. How can I say this delicately... guys generally don't pay attention to overweight girls, just like girls don't generally pay attention to overweight guys. I was overweight, and I found that I was practically invisible at the gym. The hot girls didn't even want to get caught looking at me, let alone making eye contact, for fear that it could give me ideas.

    Personally my eyes tend to wander to people who are obviously making a serious effort. I know it's hard work, and I respect guys/girls who are giving it their all. I see a big girl drenched in sweat, and I tell myself she's gonna go far. Can't wait to see how she looks the same time next year.

    One of my pet peeves is somebody sitting on a stationary bike pumping lightly at the lowest setting while reading a magazine or browsing on an ipad or smartphone. I know it's better than sitting still, but I can't help to think that he/she could have invested more effort into it.
  • 1duffwf
    1duffwf Posts: 76 Member
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    99% of the people in the gym are too focused on their own selves to care about what anyone else is doing. And even if they do judge who cares what some random small minded stranger thinks? You are doing great by facing your fear and going!

    This 100%!! I use to work at a gym and that was always what I would tell new members. Honestly it's the truth. When I work out I'm too busy focusing on myself to care what everyone else is doing. The only time I might notice someone working out is if they are in the weight room making horrible grunting noises. Or if they are hogging the machine I want and making grunting noises. Or if they are hot. :laugh:

    Seriously though - just get in there and do it! Become a regular. Don't be surprised if you start seeing some kick butt results..and another member takes notice (in a positive way).
  • Tiff050709
    Tiff050709 Posts: 497 Member
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    I don't go to the gym either and I don't want to. Aside from the fact that I am just naturally a person that doesn't want to be around people when I'm working out, I am a mom of 3 and getting out would be difficult. My husband works a demanding job and is not home Mon-Thurs and I am not going to put that much pressure of myself to go Fri, Sat and Sun. I have started my own gym in the basement. I have weights, a weight bench, ball, a treadmill and am finally getting an elliptical! Yay! My little gym works great for me and I can do it whenever I want to, which happens to be 6 times a week.
  • Catjag
    Catjag Posts: 107
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    I don't know what is wrong, but I just can't get my head around going to the gym. I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Its really inhabiting my progress.

    Every time I gear up to go, my own self conscious lets me down :'(

    Does anyone have any ideas?

    If I saw you huffing and puffing I would think "Good on her, look at her kicking butt". So get up and go kick some booty! :)
  • mandylgibbs
    mandylgibbs Posts: 185 Member
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    As a fellow "jiggler'" I have to say that I did notice that I got a lot of stares when I started my new gym membership. I couldn't tell if the looks were pitty or pride, but I went anyway. I actually thought about having a tshirt made that said "I'm a big loser" on the front, and with the amount of weight I've lost on the back. I don't need anyone's pity or judgement.

    Anyway, I kept going and going and going and now I get big grins or no one notices me at all...either one is great. One girl hopped on the treadmill beside me. She was a little older and bigger than me. She said, " I saw you running the other day. I was so proud of you. "

    For all the people who will judge you and stare, and there will be some, there will be people who want to find a way to say that they know how hard it is, and that they're proud of you for being there. You must believe me. If you give the gym a chance, those who are proud and encouraged by you will eventually say so, and the haters will eventually eat their words.
  • amariecarr
    amariecarr Posts: 16
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    Honestly, there may be people that notice you from time to time.

    As everyone has mentioned, everyone feels super insecure about this when they first join the gym. What I do is work on machines with TV screens or near TV screens or plug in my ipod so that I am distracted and don't notice other people (who may or may not be noticing me). Eventually, when you build up a routine and get used to being there you won't care that you're surrounded by so many other people.

    What I care MORE about are the people who might see me in that super unflattering facebook picture or whatever else moves us to lose the weight or tone up. You'll feel WAY better in the long run and it'll only cost you a few sessions of feeling uncomfortable to get used to working out with and in front of other people.
  • Showcase_Brodown
    Showcase_Brodown Posts: 919 Member
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    I was a little intimidated at first, but then I realized there was nothing to be scared of. I think most of the people there will have nothing but respect for you if you are trying to improve yourself. Like many others have said, you have to start somewhere.
  • Lovdiamnd
    Lovdiamnd Posts: 624 Member
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    I used to have anxiety attacks when I stepped into the gym. I joined a boot camp of around 5 or 6 people which gave the ability to meet people and befriend the trainer. Once you go enough (every day), know your way around, and get a routine it should be a bit easier.
  • Sarabelle43
    Sarabelle43 Posts: 40
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    I had the same anxiety. I did a lot of pop-in's until I found a time that no one seemed to frequent... At first, when someone joined me, I'd stop my workout immediately and leave. Then, one day, I forced myself to go just a little further and subtly watch THEM in the big scary mirror... and realized they were totally focused on their own workout. I still get a little ehhhh if 3-5 people show up in my section, but I just force myself to go on. Afterall, if I don't, I'll always worry about my jiggles and wobbles...
  • ruth3698
    ruth3698 Posts: 305 Member
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    I don't like going to the gym either.I usually just do dvd workouts and go to the local track late at night or early in the morning.I get really, really, really red when I work out .my face looks like it caught fire lol.I then having people asking me if I'm ok, etc and I hate that.I say, workout wherever you are most comfortable.I feel like I put more effort in when I don't feel self conscious. There was one gym that had a dark room for there cardio.I loved it but its too far of a commute to go.
  • emmaldownie
    emmaldownie Posts: 232 Member
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    You'll all be pleased to learn, that I did go, my husband persuaded me and promised he'd stay with me the whole time we were there, and he did bless him, I probably hampered his workout some what.

    It was all those things I imagined it was going to be, but I did it, and we are going to try and go again on Thursday.
  • ndegwa
    ndegwa Posts: 169
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    Haven't read through the post in full however personally I dont care what the person next to me or at the other end of the room is doing. You are there to better yourself, not for them but for you. It does take a leap of faith to go the first time but you will soon find no one cares about what you are doing.

    If you are working out no one laughs, everyone is working out too and will probably look the same, huffing puffing, grunting, gritting their teeth and so on. its all part of pushing your self.

    maybe get someone to show you the ropes so you are confident using the equipment and you are using them correctly. Most of all feel proud doing it!
  • Sarabelle43
    Sarabelle43 Posts: 40
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    Glad you went! :) You survived and it's step 1 of a healthier you, keep it up!
  • ndegwa
    ndegwa Posts: 169
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    just read your update!! Give your husband a nice steak dinner as a thank you. I know not many blokes would do that!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    You'll all be pleased to learn, that I did go, my husband persuaded me and promised he'd stay with me the whole time we were there, and he did bless him, I probably hampered his workout some what.

    It was all those things I imagined it was going to be, but I did it, and we are going to try and go again on Thursday.

    that is awesome and great to hear!
  • lkcuts
    lkcuts Posts: 224
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    I have since collected a few exersise equipment for home, but when I did go, I, like you was embarrased. I found a gym/club that believe it or not I had a key to. I could go in when ever i wanted. so I opted hours that no one would be there. It might help when you are starting out to find out the not so peak hours where you will be more by yourself. I am sure there is a lag time that might help you. Pick the not so busy times to go ..maybe first thing in the morning. Some gyms open really early or stay open late. Good luck!
  • Marley2310
    Marley2310 Posts: 304
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    Fitness models , Bodybuilders started skinny and not good looking
    Former Over Weight people were obviously over weight ...No body starts with a good physique skinny or fat
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    You'll all be pleased to learn, that I did go, my husband persuaded me and promised he'd stay with me the whole time we were there, and he did bless him, I probably hampered his workout some what.

    It was all those things I imagined it was going to be, but I did it, and we are going to try and go again on Thursday.

    You go!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    I don't know what is wrong, but I just can't get my head around going to the gym. I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Its really inhabiting my progress.

    Every time I gear up to go, my own self conscious lets me down :'(

    Does anyone have any ideas?

    Get a partner. I'd let you sit on my face during squats. Don't give a **** when you're at the gym, everyone has a goal. You're only worried about what people think "out there". Go in, own it and find out you're smiling more - everywhere. Good luck.

    something is wrong with you.
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
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    I truly dont pay attention to anyone else at the gym - I would assume most people dont. My first day there was 2 years ago and I was terrified!! I was certain they were all watching me but the truth is so many people come and go and at different times they dont know it's your first day or your 300th! Walk into that place like you OWN it!

    Part of the fear may be picked up from reading some of the threads on MFP "I cant believe this woman wears make up at the gym" "I cant believe people hold on to the handles on the treadmill" etc etc.....to each his own...go and do your thing!

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