Unsupportive

Options
djwife03
djwife03 Posts: 333 Member
in Motivation and Support
Do you have that one person on your life that means so much to you but is not supportive in your journey to get healthy and get in shape? For me, it's my older sister. She's never been very supportive of anything I've done. Getting my bachelors degree, getting married, having children, getting a promotion, losing weight, etc. The sad thing is that I want her support so badly! It hurts a lot......
«1

Replies

  • inside_lap
    inside_lap Posts: 738 Member
    Options
    Sometimes certain people in our lives will never be the person u want them to be. Especially family as we don't get to pick them. Instead surround yourself w people that CAN support u and treat u well. Make them ur family. Good luck!

    Edited to fix bad spellcheck correction
  • ladyark
    ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
    Options
    I can totally 100% relate. My sister also. I have been heavy for soooo long and she is the smaller, prettier, new boobs, etc one. When i started getting in shape and working out we would compare. She wasent negative but, she wasent postive either. When i got down to 125 she told me i really should lose any more weight because i will look sick ( yet when i asked what she was she hemmed and hawwed till she said 122. )

    I posted some pictures on FB of my progress and of all the people that gave me kudos she never even hit Like. That really hurts. I am not trying to compete with her. I think i finally figured out that maybe she is jealous. I bust my butt at the gym day in and day out, i try to eat well and i may not have all that she can afford but i do have alot of things she cant seem to attain no matter what.

    So be very very proud of all you have accomplished in your life and let that part go. You do not need any ones approval....you have achieved so much. She may be jealous ....keep doing what you are doing and keep being awesome!!
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    Options
    I know you love your sister and that she loves you, but she apparently has a hard time either expressing it or has some jealousy issues.

    All I can say is that while outside support is wonderful especially from loved ones, you are doing this for you not for her or her approval.

    Good for you on following your dreams. If you go to a gym maybe you can find a support buddy there.:flowerforyou:
  • MexicanOsmosis
    MexicanOsmosis Posts: 382 Member
    Options
    I have a somewhat unsupportive wife. We're both very overweight, and I started to lose some weight by changing what I eat and very slowly becoming more active with the hope that she would soon join me. Unfortunately, she is a VERY (and I do mean VERY) picky eater to the point where if I were to cook something different for dinner (yes, I'm the one that cooks) each night, we'd be at the first item again after about a week (not to mentions, she doesn't like vegetables); thus, I end up cooking something for her and something for me. Anyway, I digress, I haven't even mentioned how I've been doing as far as my weight loss since I got into MFP as she's even scoffed at me for wanting to find nutrition info for whatever I'm trying to eat. She rolls her eyes at me when I look up nutrition info if we happen to be going out to eat. Honestly, it hurts quite a bit.
  • Shange_Gully
    Shange_Gully Posts: 106
    Options
    If it's a family member just ignore it, haters gona hate

    if it's a partner/spouse have a serious talk, and if it continues then maybe you're not compatible
  • imondrugz
    imondrugz Posts: 154
    Options
    Do you have that one person on your life that means so much to you but is not supportive in your journey to get healthy and get in shape? For me, it's my older sister. She's never been very supportive of anything I've done. Getting my bachelors degree, getting married, having children, getting a promotion, losing weight, etc. The sad thing is that I want her support so badly! It hurts a lot......

    Get rid of any negativity in your life.. Even if it's family! Something i've done and i'm glad i did so !!
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    Options
    You don't need her support :) you can do this I know its hard not to have it but you got this :) Think of all the people that DO support you that might help
  • djwife03
    djwife03 Posts: 333 Member
    Options
    My husband is overweight also. He is very supportive, although it does bother him if I workout too long. We have two kids, 6&7 and so we run a lot to ballgames and scouts. Last night I worked out longer because I Missed two days and needed a good workout! Anyway, I've been trying to get hubby in board. He's been overweight his whole life and wants to lose weight but just doesn't know where to start. The main thing is I want him healthy so we can keep up with our kids! Lol!! I love him regardless but I can't help him with this. I can't do it for him.

    Yes I do love my sister but I just wish she was supportive of me! I do have support from others, but it does hurt when the person you crave it from won't give it to you!
  • eazy_
    eazy_ Posts: 516 Member
    Options
    I have a somewhat unsupportive wife. We're both very overweight, and I started to lose some weight by changing what I eat and very slowly becoming more active with the hope that she would soon join me. Unfortunately, she is a VERY (and I do mean VERY) picky eater to the point where if I were to cook something different for dinner (yes, I'm the one that cooks) each night, we'd be at the first item again after about a week (not to mentions, she doesn't like vegetables); thus, I end up cooking something for her and something for me. Anyway, I digress, I haven't even mentioned how I've been doing as far as my weight loss since I got into MFP as she's even scoffed at me for wanting to find nutrition info for whatever I'm trying to eat. She rolls her eyes at me when I look up nutrition info if we happen to be going out to eat. Honestly, it hurts quite a bit.

    She might be worried you will leave once you hit your goals.
  • loveguineapigs
    loveguineapigs Posts: 5
    Options
    Dealing with this now. I take care of my mother so she doesn't have to go into a nursing home, and she's had three arguments with me in the last week saying that I spend too much on groceries and that I take up too much room in the refrigerator.
  • berriboobear
    berriboobear Posts: 524 Member
    Options
    Do you have that one person on your life that means so much to you but is not supportive in your journey to get healthy and get in shape? For me, it's my older sister. She's never been very supportive of anything I've done. Getting my bachelors degree, getting married, having children, getting a promotion, losing weight, etc. The sad thing is that I want her support so badly! It hurts a lot......

    Get rid of any negativity in your life.. Even if it's family! Something i've done and i'm glad i did so !!

    This. You don't need the negative commentary or energy. I'm not saying dump your sister, because yes you love her and you can still continue to foster that relationship. You can try to talk serious to her, but sometimes you can't change the way people think. Don't let that drag you down!

    Just remember that you are doing this for yourself and that you do have the strength and willpower to stick to your guns! If you do need the support specifically for your weight loss journey, look for a more positive influence in that aspect of your life. Maybe another family member, friend, a trainer, or even us here on MFP. You got this! :smile:
  • AmykinsCatfood
    AmykinsCatfood Posts: 599 Member
    Options
    My boyfriend is supportive and is so proud of me for what I have accomplished, but he refuses to change his eating habits or his exercise habits... he will sit there and eat chips and cookies and chocolate right in front of me and keep offering me some. If I say no he says "good, more for me." I have the willpower to say no, but having it waved right in front of my face is really not cool. He's naturally thin so he's never had to struggle with his weight or his confidence so any time I bring up wanting to go for a walk or bike riding he scoffs and says he doesn't need to. Thin people can get health problems too..

    Long story short, yes, I get where you're coming from. In the end I think we need to sit down and have a talk with these people in our lives.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Options
    I mean this in the kindest way possible, so please take it as such.

    If someone is constantly letting you down, you have to adjust your expectations. People are rarely who we hope they are. Don't let yourself be disappointed anymore.
  • MexicanOsmosis
    MexicanOsmosis Posts: 382 Member
    Options
    I have a somewhat unsupportive wife. We're both very overweight, and I started to lose some weight by changing what I eat and very slowly becoming more active with the hope that she would soon join me. Unfortunately, she is a VERY (and I do mean VERY) picky eater to the point where if I were to cook something different for dinner (yes, I'm the one that cooks) each night, we'd be at the first item again after about a week (not to mentions, she doesn't like vegetables); thus, I end up cooking something for her and something for me. Anyway, I digress, I haven't even mentioned how I've been doing as far as my weight loss since I got into MFP as she's even scoffed at me for wanting to find nutrition info for whatever I'm trying to eat. She rolls her eyes at me when I look up nutrition info if we happen to be going out to eat. Honestly, it hurts quite a bit.

    She might be worried you will leave once you hit your goals.

    I guess that's possible, but damn, I just started.
  • djwife03
    djwife03 Posts: 333 Member
    Options
    I hear all of you and I am grateful for your insight! No, I can't exactly dump my sister! But I just have to let her behavior roll off my back! She is my stopping me from bettering myself, and I know I can't expect her to be someone she isn't. It's odd to me that we grew up in the same house and can be soooo different!
  • bill323
    bill323 Posts: 100
    Options
    My wife is rather unsupportive. I get excited about my weigh ins and she makes comments like I have an eating disorder. I was fit up until I met her and at that time she was the slimmest she had ever been. After we met we both rocketed to fatsville and I have been there until January and she has pretty much been this way since she was a child save for a year or two around the time we met.

    The worst part is that she has a few exercise kinesiology courses under her belt so she comes off as a bit of a know it all. She also tries to sabotage my diet but I have been able to stave that off so far.
  • freyaheart
    freyaheart Posts: 220 Member
    Options
    For me it's my parents and I just posted about it..... They think in the process for trying to be healthy I am going to end up killing myself.
  • prairiewalker
    prairiewalker Posts: 184 Member
    Options
    “If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”
    ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar: A Novel

    Sounds like you need to let go of expectations from your sister. If you love her..you must love her unconditionally..warts and unappreciative acknowledgements to you and all, but it's not wrong to not love a sister either....:flowerforyou:
  • admegamo
    admegamo Posts: 175 Member
    Options
    This post made me sad. I do have support from the most important people to me. In fact we are all working together in this. However, I have very unsupportive family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) who critisize me for being fat but when I start losing weight and/or dressing nice they seriously comment that I'm trying to find a guy. They seriously think that in order to have a relationship, a girl's got to be thin and if they are in a relationship, it's probably not a healthy type. (Like the guy is using her). It drives me nuts. It feels like a mean catch 22.

    I think that your sister will either come around or she won't. If she doesn't, it's probably just something that you will learn that you don't need to be happy. If she can't see you for who you are and be happy for you, then it's her loss.
  • Ivey05131980
    Ivey05131980 Posts: 1,118 Member
    Options
    Yep, totally. Just keep busting out your awesome self and don't worry about the haters. Show them what you are made of!

Categories