I'm 98% sure I know the answer to this, but still want input

So_Much_Fab
So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
in Chit-Chat
You know how those sponsored ads are on the right side of your Facebook (FB) page...and they might say "so and so" (one of your friends) used "such and such" app?

Tonight I noticed, that according to FB, two of my male FB friends have recently used Zoosk, a dating site.

One of them I know is single.

The other, I know is married.

I know the married man's wife. I'm friends with both of them.

I am 98% sure I need to just keep my mouth shut, but I'm interested in input.

I'm hoping this doesn't turn into a train wreck.

Replies

  • DTJBMcT
    DTJBMcT Posts: 48 Member
    The messenger is ALWAYS shot. If the jerk is cheating... the spouse will eventually find out. Do not walk, RUN from getting involved in this. Just my 2 cents!
  • d9123
    d9123 Posts: 531 Member
    When you ASSUME you make an *kitten* out of U and ME ;)
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    The messenger is ALWAYS shot. If the jerk is cheating... the spouse will eventually find out. Do not walk, RUN from getting involved in this. Just my 2 cents!

    Fair enough...what you said pretty much mirrors how I feel.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    When you ASSUME you make an *kitten* out of U and ME ;)

    Another valid point, of course I don't have proof. And even if I did, I wouldn't necessarily want to be the one to bring "things" to light. It's just that seeing that tonight caught me a bit off guard.

    *Edited for typo
  • suv_hater
    suv_hater Posts: 374 Member
    Are those ads all the way true though or just marketing tactics?

    Maybe you could sign up on Zoosk with a dummy account and message him for a date. If he bites then tell his wife before she churns out his offspring. I don't why a married man would be dumb enough to use a dating site app that would be broadcasted on FB.
  • ladyark
    ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
    Could it be possable that they also just clicked on it? Ive done that before and then got tons of ads for things . Give him the benefit of the doubt first and otherwise just figure its not really any of your business. If it doesnt affect you directly your best bet is to forget your saw it....if it is true then the last thing you want to be is the messenger....just be there for your friend if it comes down to it.
  • luvya7sandra796
    luvya7sandra796 Posts: 124 Member
    If they are your good friends you should mention it to both of them! First to him and then to her!
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    I don't why a married man would be dumb enough to use a dating site app that would be broadcasted on FB.

    Maybe he doesn't realize that his involvement shows up on his friends' feeds. I mean, I wouldn't know it would unless, upon creating an account, something said "Hey! We're going to broadcast on your friend's feed(s) the fact that you're using our site!"

    Add that he's not a huge social media user...so he just might not realize.
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
    If the married man used a dating site by logging through Facebook with his real name, he's dumb!
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    Could it be possable that they also just clicked on it? Ive done that before and then got tons of ads for things . Give him the benefit of the doubt first and otherwise just figure its not really any of your business. If it doesnt affect you directly your best bet is to forget your saw it....if it is true then the last thing you want to be is the messenger....just be there for your friend if it comes down to it.

    It's entirely possible, hence the 98%. I don't mean this to be detrimental to those younger than me, but I'm in my mid 40s and I wouldn't act on something like this that could potentially ruin marriages and friendships. I've honestly never been faced with this and was more curious what the hive mind had to say.
  • kmgstevens
    kmgstevens Posts: 32 Member
    For a bit of perspective, I actually have an account on OKCupid (another dating site) and I am happily married. I actually set up the account to help a good friend look for potential matches. So when he finds a girl he likes, he shows me her profile and I can look at it and we can talk about how they might be a good fit or a bad one. Or I'll poke around myself and point him toward a few profiles of girls that I think he might like. So, in this instance, if my name was associated with the dating site, it might look bad, but in actuality my involvement is purely platonic.

    Is it also possible that your friend's hubby had an account on Zoosk before he was married?
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
    one, even if this was true, it's none of your business.

    but two, and more importantly, FACEBOOK sells ad space to anyone, and allows any of those advertisers to use YOUR photos.

    as far as I'm aware, this is mostly random.

    when on your page, they figure that ads are more likely to capture YOUR attention if it uses photos of YOUR friends. So it does.

    If the ad was for bladder guards, enemas, or denture cream, it would still use pictures of your friends.

    it does not mean either of those people is actually USING the site.
    They also might have had the SAME ad with pics of their friends, and ensnared by curiousity like you, have clicked on it.

    don't trust facebook. Ever.

    and don't meddle in other people's relationships.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    I am pretty confident those are just a marketing thing...they will put anyones name in there to say they are interested - but I am not 100% sure. I noticed those, and a few of my friends "liking" questionable things that I would not in a million years think they would be involved in...

    I would check the validity of those advertisements
  • Vonwarr
    Vonwarr Posts: 390 Member
    It could also be that he left FB logged in on a home computer, and someone else used that site. I never trust those "sponsored" ads. I usually block all ads that are not small inoffensive text though.
  • mdelcott
    mdelcott Posts: 529 Member
    Chances are that neither used that app and FB just used their names and pictures as a marketing ad to try and get you to go to that site also. Dont believe any ads off FB the privacy settings are awful and lots of ppl get put in ads without their knowledge
    Keep your mouth shut on this one
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 8,525 Member
    Maybe he liked it when he saw another friend had liked the page (supporting that his friend was trying online dating). My daughter had to explain to my sister that liking her softball team's page didn't mean aunty was liking that her neice played softball. This might be the case especially if he isn't a regular social media user.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    one, even if this was true, it's none of your business.

    I know. But it's hard to squash that little voice that says "your friend might be getting royally screwed over!"
    and don't meddle in other people's relationships.

    I'm not planning on it.
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
    I am pretty confident those are just a marketing thing...they will put anyones name in there to say they are interested - but I am not 100% sure. I noticed those, and a few of my friends "liking" questionable things that I would not in a million years think they would be involved in...

    I would check the validity of those advertisements

    they aren't valid.
    they are blatant exploitation of your photos, which you agree to when you create a facebook account, in order for facebook (which is FREE) to make money selling adspace to just about anyone, knowing 99% of people will see their friends' pics in the sidebar ads and CLICK.

    it's BS, and I really hope gullible people aren't going around ruining marriages over "information" they obtained from facebook ads.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    Keep your mouth shut on this one

    I plan on it. After reading everyone's replies my 2% indecision factor has been squashed!
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
    one, even if this was true, it's none of your business.

    I know. But it's hard to squash that little voice that says "your friend might be getting royally screwed over!"
    and don't meddle in other people's relationships.

    I'm not planning on it.

    even if your friend WAS getting royally screwed over, she would not thank you for bringing it to her attention.
    also, if he was cheating, and doing so with links to facebook, he's too stupid not to get caught, and she will fidn out herself.

    as I previously mentioned though, this is just facebook BS.
    don't sweat it.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    it's BS, and I really hope gullible people aren't going around ruining marriages over "information" they obtained from facebook ads.

    I'm not gullible, and I'm quite internet savvy, but I'll be honest in saying that I don't have a solid grip on how FB uses our information for marketing purposes, especially when it comes to sites you may or may not have visited or liked.

    FOR THOSE READING FROM THIS POINT FORWARD I have no intentions of bringing what I saw to light. Again, I was more interested in opinions and other views on how FB marketing works.

    Appreciating the input!
  • Erikalynne18
    Erikalynne18 Posts: 558 Member
    I wouldn't put much thought into it. Like others have said, facebook can use your friends' pictures in the ads. I set up a facebook account at one point for a friend but had no friends added except for me. Yet on the side there were all these ads and they said that I used/recommended that item. Funny since I DIDN'T lol. Basically my profile was the only option to use to market the ad.

    So yeah, I wouldn't stress much :) Or like others have said he might have accidently clicked on something. Especially since it's a dating site and he's married... why would he have that linked to his facebook? Doesn't make sense. And if he IS that dumb, she'll find out soon enough lol
  • CharRicho
    CharRicho Posts: 389 Member
    I used to live in Australia, and now I live in Canada (hold on, yes this is relevant)

    Facebook (via sponsored advertisements) is constantly telling me that friends that live in Australia and have never been to Canada, "Like" some random small businesses in Canada that they could not POSSIBLY know about, and vice versa.

    Those are fake. Pages and apps sell their likes to other pages and apps. Ignore it.
  • DalekBrittany
    DalekBrittany Posts: 1,748 Member
    Yepp, I would do the same thing as you are gonna do. I think it would be different if I was signed up and saw an active profile of a married friend, but I would approach the friend before I approached the spouse, because it could be a misunderstanding. I have a POF account floating around and signed up when I was already with my fiance. In my case, I was in a sociology class and was doing research for a project.
  • Fish_Fuzz
    Fish_Fuzz Posts: 90 Member
    How do you know that he's not trying to find someoneto share with his wife?
  • Just_Scott
    Just_Scott Posts: 1,766 Member
    agree with CharRicho...ignore it. Just like phone lists 20 years ago.
  • InnerConflict
    InnerConflict Posts: 1,592 Member
    I can't believe you outed me on here. :brokenheart:

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