Severe Depression AFTER Large Weight Loss....

This breaks my heart. I am so sorry. I think you look great BTW. I wonder about my saggy skin too. I still have many lbs to lose before I know what mine will look like. Keep your chin up.

Hi, Michelle. I wonder if you've done any journaling,about this to see what you might learn about what's going on deep inside. Or do you have a trusted friend with whom you can be honest, and he/she will be honest and supportive in return? Would some ongoing conversation with that person help you get a better handle on your feelings about the new you vs. the old you, and just which one is the real you, or is the real you just a fledgling work in progress? I hesitate to suggest a therapist because there are good ones and bad ones and indifferent ones and picking one seems like it would be a roll of the dice.

All the loose skin has got to be doing a number on your self-esteem. On the one hand it's a constant reminder of your outstanding success. On the other hand, it's not the most attractive thing in the world. I have just a little bit of that going on myself, after about 60 lbs. Do you have any idea how your partner feels? Is the lack of intimacy your preference or his/hers, or both of yours?

I will be thinking of you and wishing the very best for you. I sure don't have any answers, but you've done a wonderful job of describing your situation, and I do, truly, feel for you. Keep in touch.

wow, a lot has changed for you, but remember, its been for the better overall, you got your life back!
maybe since you have been sooo focused on your wtloss you did not deal with other things that were there all along and now its time. just b/c you lsot the wt, you are essentially the same person, only better now!

i don't know about you, but exercising has been my antidepressant and therefore, not working out actually makes me feel very down, blue and overall ****ty. maybe this is happening to you since you stopped also? its amazing what working out does for you mentally, not only physically.

so, these issues besides losing wt have been here all along, maybe its time you deal with them via someone professional to talk to, someone who understands what your going through, someone objective that can guide you in the right direction. that is always good to have.

hope you come out of this rut, and don't give up on yourself, you have come soo far and have enhanced your life physically, now its time to work on the mental aspect of this maze called life.

good luck to you!
hang in there, and remember RESPECT YOURSELF!!!!

When I was preparing for gastric bypass many years ago, they required psychological counseling. It is very common for people who have made such a life change as yours to go thru these types of problems. Please go and see a counselor. You have made such amazing physical changes in your life. Don't let them all slip away without at least trying to work on the rest of you too. You are still the same person you have always been on the inside. You may just need a little help or another opinion to accept the new outside you.

It's hard getting used to a new you if you have been heavy for a long time, but keep your head up!! It will take time, but eventually you will learn to LOVE the new you who can do ANYTHING you set your mind out to do!! You may want to see a psychologist to talk about these issues you are facing. You may also want to get some plastic surgery to get rid of lose skin (if it really bothers you). Life is all about change and sometimes its so hard to embrace it! Good luck on your journey- it has really just begun.

I know exactly how you feel. I had a gastric bypass done and I lost over 150 pounds. I thought that once all the weight came off everything was going to be wonderful! But it was quite the opposite. All the loose skin that was left over made me feel very ashamed of myself. I was also very big on top and what was left was pathethic. The loose skin on my abdomen was an ugly site and I never really felt thinner.

I just want you to know that you're not the only one. I think to a point it is normal to feel this way. After such a tremendous weight loss, I felt there was no way I was the same person I was before. Although I was very disappointed to look at myself naked, I was very happy with what I saw when I was dressed. I know all the questions can be quite bothersome, but believe me, eventually they stop asking and people will get used to the "new" you.

As for me, since my weight loss I have had a breast lift and a tummy tuck to get rid of the loose skin. The surgeon's nurses told me I broke a record for their office with the amount of skin they removed from my abdomen. I still have a lot of loose skin on my arms, which prevents me from wearing any sleeveless shirts/dresses. Don't know if I'll ever do anything to fix that...I guess I can't be perfect and that's ok with me. I love my "new" self and would never want to go back to the person I used to be.

Please don't think that I'm implying you get plastic surgery to feel better. Having cosmetic surgery was a choice I felt was needed in my situation. I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one out there...I hope you talk to a counselor/therapist to feel better and embrace your "new" self.

I am so sorry that you feel this way. I guess the journey is never really over- it's just always changing directions. I agree with what every one is saying- I have heard and seen people have different issues after losing weight. Maybe the weight isn't our only problem. maybe it is intertwined with a whole bunch of other issues too. Definitely find support, either here or elsewhere and maybe even think about how working out made you feel before and try to get back into it. Not for weight loss this time- but for you. Sometimes a walk makes all the difference.

I read about your depression and I also lost a lot of weight but the there is a trick to the entire puzzle I want to point out. We tend to be emotional eaters. When you take that away you brain doesn't know where to turn to to get that feel good feeling.

You completed the 1st mission - you lost the weight. You may know most of the below, but it helps point out what could be your problem.

STEP 2 - Mission:

The next part of your mission is preparing yourself mentally.

As long as you are eating throughout the entire day you should be feeding your body the right amount of food it needs. In the past, your body and mind was use to eating whenever and whatever you wanted. You'll need to train yourself to deal with false hunger pains.

Most of us are emotional eaters. Emotional eating feeds and medicates the mind, but only for the moment. The more processed foods loaded with sugar makes it that more difficult. So to prepare your mind, you'll want to downsize on the amount of processed sugars you eat, and eat more foods with protein. Fiber foods have carbs but are not included in the carbs to stay way from. Fiber foods do not store energy or raise your insulin levels. You can eat carrots and other raw vegetables as a snack. Stay away from fruits high in natural sugars. Example: Good fruits are berries.

If your mind tells you that you are hungry and you know you just ate, then have water, coffee, tea, or a sugar free drink. You'll need to treat your stomach like a two year old child who is always throwing temper tantrums. You can't give in to those temper tantrums or your child will get out of control. Tell your inner stomach-child that it will need to wait until the next approved eating (meal) time. This is the hardest part of your life time diet as you will need to gear the feel good emotional need away from food an onto something else.

What ever the something else should be, it has to be a new healthy habit. You'll need to discover new ways to make yourself happy to fill that emotional need. I did it by bargain shopping. I made a game of it. How can I stretch my dollar (like my calories) as far as it can be stretched? Quality of food items must be best - no poor substitute.

Coupons
Bargain stores.
2nd hand stores - antique shops
Wholesale foods
On-Line shopping - no shipping costs - always look for promo codes
Keep updated on all the flyers for Shoprite, Stew Leonards, Wholefoods, Stop and Shop, and Walmart. Buy sale items in bulk.

Stay away from the mirror if you are trying to lose weight - unless you are prepared to only say good things about yourself. No time for putting yourself down. If you fail your mission by eating something you shouldn't have forgive yourself immediately and get on with trying again. You've failed your mission only if you harbor negative thoughts.

STEP 3 - Mission:

Once you started on mission one and two, you'll also want to start on mission three: Organization and Routines.

It is much easier if you follow a daily routine. Eat at the same time everyday and with the same amount of calories. While you are working on your daily routine get your life organized if you haven't already done so. Make each day a mission.

Here is mine for example:

Shower at 5:00 AM
5:20 AM Wake my son to get ready for school
Run downstairs and take the clean laundry out of the dryer and start a load of wash.
Take the bag of clean laundry bring it upstairs and put on bed to fold later after dinner.
Put dishes in dishwasher away and add what is in the sink to the dishwasher
Eat cereal and log food into myfitnesspal.
Get lunch and snacks prepared the day before and pack it for work.
Have coffee and take my son out to the car to wait for the bus.
Eat Snack when I get to work - chicken, berries, and nuts.
Walk at noon time.
Eat lunch when I get back - salad and fish
Eat a snack - chicken, berries, and nuts.
work until 4:30 PM and go home.
Prepare and eat dinner at 5:00 PM
Don't eat after 6:00 PM - only exception - you haven't had dinner (don't skip it)
Fold clothes and put away
Prepare and make lunch for the next day
Add dinner dishes to the dishwasher and start it
Make sure bills are up-to-date
Spend a little time with the family
Relax and go to bed.
Get 8 hours of sleep.

Weekends: Run three miles - Get your shopping done and prep salads for the week. Make yourself busy with things you like to do.

Once you get into a routine your mind will be trained to not think about food as much and all of the sudden your life will become organized. Becoming organized then leads to step 4......


STEP 4 - Mission:
Stress free life. The time will go by fast because you have not allowed time for your mind to become board. The weight will fall off before you know it and your life will become extremely organized. The less stress you allow in your life the happier you'll be.

You will also find yourself feeding your family healthier foods and healthy living habits. They will learn from your example.

I think I kind of know how you feel. I lost almost 100 pounds in the past two years. I would say for the past year I have been feeling more and more unhappy with myself and my body. I was really big before but I remember being happy for the most part. I used to love taking pictures and all of that. Now I am frustrated with the way that I look. I hate taking pictures and I detest certain parts of my body. I look in the mirror sometimes and I get so dissappointed. Like others have said, I'm okay with myself when I'm clothed but when I'm naked.... to be honest i feel downright ugly sometimes. I dont know why. I dont know where the confident big girl went but I'm definitely not as confident and I'm definitely not as happy. Maybe I was happier and more confident before because I was in denial... i dont know. Maybe I'm so unhappy because I have this perfect version of myself (based off of other perfect bodies) in my head and I'm trying very hard to obtain it but it feels like I'm not getting any closer. I also have lose skin on my chest and I have to get surgery to fix it. It looks like theres some loose skin on my stomach as well although not very much yet. When I hit a plateau, I hit them hard and they stay around for a while and that just feeds more into my disspointment of myself. I try to stay positive but it is hard when you start to feel like this. I still feel like the 260+ pound womanas well. I'm 93 pounds down and I feel HUGE. I want to look a certain way and I feel like I am not going to feel really happy again until I do.

Just know that you're not the only one. I thought everything would be perfect when I lost all the weight. I still think that because I don't feel like I'm even close to my goal. We just try to have to adapt as best as we can to this change. I hope you can talk this out with others and feel better.

Michelle,

Congratulations first of all and I think its natural to grieve some for the loss of the old you. There are really incredible laser treatments out there to tighten up skin that are less invasive then surgery and cheaper. I would recommend you look into those or contacting centers that have people lose lots of weight and deal with loose skin.

Also, have you talked to your partner its a known fact that woman are much harder on their bodies sometimes then the men they are with are...

Anyway you look at it you have beat the odds and done something few can. Keep reaching out and trying suggestions until you find the one that works best for you!!!!

Lisa

Hi Michelle,

I can relate. I lost 105lbs in just under a year in 2007. It has taken me this long to finally be okay with my body. I got pregnant in 2009 and gained back 80lbs, and have lost 50ish of that again. It take a while to get your mind caught up with your body. For me, it's a constant battle. Gaining back the weight will not make you feel better, it will make you feel like a failure. Get your behind to therapy ASAP.

XO

It's very normal to have these feelings after losing a lot of weight. I have been through it myself and over time your head will adjust, I can't guarantee everyone else will also. Just keep moving forward, if you have to, in 15 minute increments. Use kind words when you think of your body, use kind words when you think of yourself. Be gentle. If only one kind word a day is all you can do, then do that, start small. It is so very difficult for people to accept change of any kind, when it our self or when it's someone else.

There are weight specific therapists out there, body image and self image are two things that are difficult to deal with.

Keep moving forward. My favorite line from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is "Everything will be alright in the end, if it's not alright, it's not the end" hugs. This is hard, but it will be okay.