dealing with frenemies

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Replies

  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    She hasn't changed. .not in two years. . Maybe ten years. You finally decided not to be a doormat anymore. .Don't get sucked back in. I know people like this. She'll suck you back in with her seemingly genuine desire to be your friend again. .It's Bull.

    Just tell her "Thanks, but no thanks. .I've got enough friends".
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    She needs a back-up wing man. The one she was using in the time since you've seen her either met a guy and is not longer available to "wing" for her or also got tired of her crap. You were weak and easy to abuse, so she's trying to give that one more chance.

    Plan to meet her, don't show, and don't respond. Make her see what that feels like.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    thanks everyone for your replies. you all helped me realize that i truly don't want her as a friend again.
    i'm going to meet her for maaaybe an hour or 2 on saturday. i'm not expecting change. and if she's being her old self, i'll just get up and leave.

    we're not on bad terms, but i did just cut her out. i didn't give her reason for it. i wanted her to figure it out for herself. she texted me a few times in the 2 years and i ignored them. she doesn't keep friends for long, and for a reason. like i said before, i'm a very loyal and forgiving person, but i can only take so much.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    You should make a lunch date and then send me there instead.

    She sounds fun.
    LOL
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    She needs a back-up wing man. The one she was using in the time since you've seen her either met a guy and is not longer available to "wing" for her or also got tired of her crap. You were weak and easy to abuse, so she's trying to give that one more chance.

    Plan to meet her, don't show, and don't respond. Make her see what that feels like.

    it's funny, i'm a very strong girl. rarely cry, and never take crap from anyone.
    but for some reason with her, i just felt like i couldn't be honest with her. i was always scared to offend her, so i always just let her offend me instead. i was almost like too protective of her.
    i don't know if it's because we grew up together and i considered her a sister, but it was almost very manipulative. just give her what she wants, and she'll be happy.

    like i said before, i could only take so much. it was definitely a one way friendship.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Well good luck 2hrs of abuse sounds like too much to me, but hope you get the closure. Dont bring her back in your life unless she has done a complete 180deg and changed
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    frenemies

    This is the dumbest concept ever and was defintely developed by women, for women.

    As a guy I have no friends that are not freinds. And my enemies, or just people I don't get along with for whatever reason, are NOT friends.

    There is no gray area.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    frenemies

    This is the dumbest concept ever and was defintely developed by women, for women.

    As a guy I have no friends that are not freinds. And my enemies, or just people I don't get along with for whatever reason, are NOT friends.

    There is no gray area.

    And that's why men are emotionally simple creatures who dont have the ability to think out of the box they can't see any color besides black and white, right and wrong. I know that you have grey relationships, but just dont realize it.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    frenemies

    This is the dumbest concept ever and was defintely developed by women, for women.

    As a guy I have no friends that are not freinds. And my enemies, or just people I don't get along with for whatever reason, are NOT friends.

    There is no gray area.
    i don't know why we do it, but i've had a few frenemies. it's almost just better being on good terms with someone you dislike instead of feuding with them. for me, it was like i get along with them SO well in some aspects, but other aspects just piss me off about them.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    frenemies

    This is the dumbest concept ever and was definitely developed by women, for women.

    As a guy I have no friends that are not friends. And my enemies, or just people I don't get along with for whatever reason, are NOT friends.

    There is no gray area.

    Yes! This a thousand times over. I really don't get it. My boyfriend keeps some of the crappiest friends. A couple of them have actually stolen from him. He wonders why I don't have a whole lot of friends and I tell him that I would rather have no friends than bad friends. I don't feel the need to have drama in my life and I cut it out. Does it make for some lonely nights? Sure, but those nights sure are relaxing. And the friends I still have I know I can rely on to be good people and that we can be there for each other when needed.
  • splashtree
    splashtree Posts: 9
    In case we break up i simply say "look do you really remember as i'm done
    ?" i'm sweet and caring...and if broke....also we ask for forgiveness (me and the team of friends)

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