I have it up to here...

I hear you - feel free to add me if you like; I'm going through some challenges myself, but would love to support you where I can.
Take care. You can do this - promise.
xLT

You need to be kind to yourself. Seriously. Hating yourself doesn't get you anywhere. Believe me, I've been trying that method for most of my life... and it just doesn't work. Hating yourself makes you project that negativity outwards to your family, it affects your relationships, it affects your weight loss/exercise attempts. I have started realising that the only way you can achieve your goals is if you BELIEVE that they are possible, and to do that you need to love yourself. Because you DESERVE it.

I moved to a new country recently. I know some people here but on the whole I am quite isolated still. I am working from home for the first time in my life... and I love parts of it - I love the flexibility etc (I know you don't have that with a kid!) - but it also gives me way too much time to get caught up in my head, and I am not meeting new people this way... And too much time on Facebook - getting depressed looking at those damn skinny cows in bikinis on beaches in Thailand. It is obsessive, and so negative. I know it's hard... but remember that the stuff you see on FB is only what they want you to see. What's that quote? Something about how you're comparing your whole life (warts and all) to their highlight reel. These days everyone photoshops their pictures, Instagram makes everyone hotter, for some reason taking pouting self portraits of yourself and broadcasting them to the world is socially acceptable... i.e. when you are feeling negative about yourself and you go on FB then you are going to be bombarded with gorgeous model-types that will make you feel worse - and make you feel justified for not being kind to yourself.

I think you should identify how you spend your time and how it makes you feel, and then come up with steps to counteract those things... for instance, rather than looking at FB for hours - now I look through posts on MFP because it is filled with people going through the same stuff, they are showing their vulnerable side, you see success stories which inspire you to do better. It's more of a positive influence.

I second the idea of finding a way to get out of the house on your own more often.

Have you checked with a doctor re the problems you have with working out? Do you maybe go too hard too fast? Maybe you should try like a couch to 5k type program (or something to suit whatever level you're at) so that you start out really slow and gentle, easing your way up.

I'm sorry that it sounds like your husband wasn't as supportive as you needed... I obviously have no idea about your situation but I know that I complain to my husband about my body so often that he gets really annoyed about it. He hates when I put myself down - particularly if he's trying to give me a compliment and I have some negative retort back. It's a really bad habit I am in, and I am trying hard to rectify it. Your husband loves you - I think he needs you to love you too

Anyway... sorry for the long post, your story just really spoke to me. I'll add you

Sending friend request.

Suggestions:
- Make morning appointments (doctor etc) whenever possible so you are forced to get up and out early
- Take some time out from FB (I'm not on it, wouldn't have the time... so many friends waste too much time on it)
- Running after a 3 year old in the park would burn calories, so does a walk to the shops
- Eating 'clean' doesn't have to be a huge effort. Fresh fruit, veg are quick and easy. Eating highly processed cr@p all day will be making you feel 10x worse, and it has less nutritional value. Start slowly, cut out one bad thing at a time until the habits form

Chin up. You will get there, if you want to (I agree with your husband about the HRM - you just need to do some exercise now. If you start getting more athletic, then fine, treat yourself to the gadget. Save the money for now, and you can look forward to getting this as a reward.) :flowerforyou:

if youre feelin ill when starting to eat healthier, it is just your body detoxing all the bad foods from your body. so push through that feeling for a few days, because it will subside and you will inevitably feel better.

Find something you want to do for you - I love zumba because its like a party with calories lost but no unhealthy snacks and wine to make you feel bad the next day! But find something you enjoy so its not a chore.

As others have said, this seems like its bigger than a weightloss issue. You are generally fed up and feeling isolated by your move. Are there any mother and toddler groups you could join, or swimming pools nearby where you could teach your son to swim? Nice places you could go for a walk together and teach him about the flowers and trees (and not sit looking at the ironing you haven't done, the food waiting to be cooked etc.)? Or how about getting food at a farmer's market sometimes so you're choosing tasty, healthy things you want to cook (and eat), rather than throwing stuff into your trolley already feeling bad about what you're going to eat. Is there a pre-school your son could attend a few hours a week?

You definitely need to make time for you. And remember you can't change everything at once. feel free to friend me if I can help.

It sounds like you are just plain bored with your life. Maybe you should go back to work so you would have to be up and about. My DIL has a 3 and 1 year old and has worked ever since each was born. I worked ever since my son was 2 months old. It makes you have to get up and get going. You have to do the housework and meals or they don't get done. Then you don't have time to be on the computer, etc.

Aie, that sounds tough. I'm sorry that you are feeling so down. A lot of your struggles seem to stem from boredom, that I don't mean that in a dismissive way, because I really think boredom can be toxic. My suggestion would be to see if you can get a part time job, something that you can work around your schedule with your son. Not because I think there's anything wrong with being a stay at home mom at all, but because I think it could help with a lot of the things you talk about. Getting up in the morning, having a shower before 10, getting out of the house, having social contact so you don't need to spend time on facebook, and also having an income that you can call your own, so you can buy an HRM if you want to without necessarily having to ask permission from your husband. I know for myself that a huge part of my happiness and fulfilment in life comes from my work; all the other parts of my life suffer if that is not going well. Even a regular voluntary or charity commitment that you enjoy might make a big difference.

Good luck!

Here's my two cents (for what it's worth), I am a busy mom of 3, wife, and work part time. I strongly encourage you to try HIIT it really helps me! and the effects last 3 days! As far as diets, don't do it. I have paid for, tried, and/or done EVERYTHING to lose weight! The support I found on mfp, at home, and with a few friends locally in my situation has helped me! HIIT has 'reset' my metabolism. 21 minutes every 3-4 days a week. Good Luck!

Google 5-HTP, it did wonders for me.

I know being a stay at home mom it's hard to get motivated. I was one for many years. However you need to set your priorities and stick to them. Tell your husband that an HRM is the only way to know what you are burning calorie wise. I bought one on Amazon and make sure it's one that counts calories. There are others that track steps and distance walked but mine does not have all those. Just tracks heart rate, time and calories. I use my ipod for distance. Good luck to you and if you would like add me.

Lots of good suggestions. I would also suggest seeing a doctor about depression. You mention several things that are indicators.

I'm on here all the time logging, diary is open as well

And as for facebook, It was literally ruining my life. I deleted it about a year ago and never looked back. I'm so much happier without it.

Tons of great advice on this thread to try and keep you motivated - I'm great with motivation, and follow up. I too have issues exercising because of medical reasons though, not because I lose my routine and just get fed up.

Being as you just moved and have no family around and you seem overwhelmed, doesn't hurt to talk to someone. You may need a small dose of anti depressants to keep you going. Nothing wrong with that. I did it for a few years when I was trying to get my life in order with school and work and felt really overwhelmed. Exercising really helped, and so did diet. Eventually I was taken off them and I haven't had to be on them now for 4 years.

I'm the same way at times, BUT you've just gotta' do it. When I start to feel in that kinda' mood I just get up and do it, I don't think about it, I don't sit there any longer, I get what I've gotta' get done. At the end of the day, when I know I've conquered that, I feel so much better about myself. It's all will-power - any of us could sit on the couch all day watching tv, munching on snacks, that just sounds FABULOUS, but you're never going to grow as a person or get anywhere by doing those kinds of things. For example, I've been so tired this week, so achy and I could have easily said, "I don't wnat to workout because i'm so tired and my body hurts", but if I do that, habit kicks in and that one day of not working out turns into 2, 3 and so on...whne you let bad habits take control, your life can turn into a whirlwind of depression, wiht an unhealthy lifestyle, etc.

I have a child, too, she's almost 2. There's times when she wants to go outside and play and my day's been EXHAUSTING - do I want to? No! lol...but, just because I don't wnat to do it doesn't mean I should be so selfish to not let her enjoy herself, afterall, she is just 20 months, everything is so new to her. I find once we do go outside, I actually start to enjoy myself and the fresh air is so nice!

I'm not saying it's easy, in fact, it's SO DAMN HARD at itmes, but you can't let that get the best of you, you can't let the bad habits kick your butt. You've got this! Go out and kick those bad habits in the a** and go live your life the way you wnat, not the way those "bad habits" want to.

After noting your username and reading your first paragraph, I am going to make a suggestion.
Do not spend your money on weight loss or fitness gadgets or doodads!!! Take that money and use it to get yourself a babysitter.
Here is what I think you need to do. Find a neighbourhood mom or grandma and have them come to your home (you have to leave the house that way), for 1 hour a week. Take that hour and do something you would not normally do. Not necessarily fitness related. The first week I suggest going to a large book store, like Chapters, just walk around for a while, read some book covers, check out the knickknacks, no need to buy anything, just browse. You can do this alone without feeling awkward. The next wee you could do the same but hit up a home improvement store, or if it is nice out, find a park and go for a stroll. No worries about heart rates or calories, just for leisure. Arrange for that babysitter every week, in advance so that you can't cancel!
Why? Your rut is not physical.
I bet that your mood and energy level will improve on its own if you force yourself to get out, sans kid and hubby. You need to find that inner you again. You still have 167 hours a week to be mom and wife.

Excellent idea.

My name is Katie - I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. I've been there, sometimes I still have bad days but they're not continual. I'm writing my responses in { THESE} because I want to respond to everything and not miss out. I'm writing it in CAPS so it stands out, I'm not yelling. If MFP had an option for red text I would change the text color. Oh well - and sorry in advance.

I am coming to terms with the fact that I am stuck in a rut. I'm stuck in life in general. I am a 34 year old wife and stay at home mom to a three and a half year old boy whom I love dearly. I have been out of work since October 2008 (went back to school full time until May 2010) and had my son in February 2010. I gained 80 pounds with that pregnancy. EIGHTY pounds. I was 115 before and I delivered at 194. {OK - SO YOU GAINED 80 POUNDS, THE NORMAL IS 25. I HAVE NEVER MET ONE SINGLE PERSON THAT DIDN'T GAIN MORE THAN 45 DURING THEIR FIRST PREGNANCY. I GOT UP TO 185 WHEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY 2 YEAR OLD. YOU HAVE TO MOVE PAST THE WEIGHT YOU'VE GAINED}

We recently relocated from Denver, CO to Phoenix, AZ. Both of my parents and my sister and her family are still home in Denver. My husband's family is in Chicago. We made this decision, not just because he was being transferred, but also because it gave us a fresh start on neutral territory to start focusing on our family. We've been here since January and I have made friends with a couple of other women with children but no friendship in real bloom just yet. {I'M GOING TO BE HONEST HERE, BECAUSE I'VE SEEN MY MOTHER MOVE FROM ONE STATE TO ANOTHER BECAUSE SHE WANTED A FRESH START. MOVING ISN'T GOING TO GIVE YOU A FRESH START, YOU CANNOT MOVE AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS. WHETHER THAT INVOLVES NOT FINDING A JOB, NOT LIKING A JOB, NOT LIKING YOUR FRIENDS, NOT LIKING YOUR FAMILY, HAVING FAMILY ISSUES, MARITAL ISSUES. WHATEVER ISSUES YOU'RE TRYING TO GET A CLEAN START FROM IS GOING TO CONTINUE NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU MOVE, BECAUSE THE ISSUES ARE FROM WITHIN. UNLESS IT'S LIKE A CREEPY STALKER OR SOMETHING}

I have been on this weight loss/healthy lifestyle journey since about April 2010. I am starting to notice that I am in a cyclic downfall. {I'm glad you see this} Every few months I get in the groove and really go for the gusto. I eat clean and I exercise...for about two weeks tops. I notice that I just feel like crap after exercising the first few times. {IT'S BECAUSE YOU NEED TO KEEP DOING IT, KEEP EATING CLEAN AND KEEP WORKING OUT. DONT SLACK, DONT LET GO} The day after...it's more than just being sore. I'm talking about within the first three days of exercising. I shake and feel nauseous and drained. I can only describe it as though I've been poisoned. {YOUR BODY ISN'T ADJUSTED TO WORKING OUT, YOU NEED TO KEEP DOING IT. JUST LIKE YOU'RE NOT GOING TO RUN 3 MILES FROM THE START. YOU START SMALL AND INCREASE. WORKING OUT WOULDN'T BE CALLED WORKING IF YOU DIDN'T WORK!] I know that sounds ridiculous but it's the best way I can explain it. If I force myself to continue through this, I really gain the motivation and keep going strong for a good two weeks. But then, it all crashes down. Eating clean and cooking/prepping food becomes a chore. {YEAH, IT SUCKS. I HAVE A TODDLER TOO, A BOYFRIEND, A CRAZY EX HUSBAND, A FULL TIME JOB THAT I DRIVE AN HOUR TO GET TO AND HOUR TO GET BACK. BUT I WORKOUT 6 DAYS A WEEK, AND COOK 5-6 TIMES A WEEK. YOU HAVE TO SUCK IT UP AND DO IT IF YOU WANT TO SEE RESULTS.} Facebook and the computer get in the way of getting off the couch. {DELETE FACEBOOK IF IT IS BECOMING A DISTRACTION} Eating out or snacking on crap foods during the day is how I get my calories. {STOP BUYING JUNK FOOD IF IT TEMPTS YOU, STOP GOING OUT, GET OFF FACEBOOK AND COOK DINNER.} I wake up at 5am every day but I can't get going until at least 10am. {WHY DOES IT TAKE YOU FIVE HOURS TO GET GOING??} My poor son is dealing with a very cranky, tired, and out of shape mom. I hate it. I hate myself for being so weak and for teaching my child poor habits and behavior. I have no patience and I take it out on my husband and son. I just sink until I literally find an excuse for all of my behavior. It has GOT TO STOP. {YES IT HAS TO STOP. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TEACHING YOUR SON? FURTHERMORE, EVEN IF YOU REMAIN OVER WEIGHT YOU NEED TO FIND YOUR GOOD QUALITIES AND EMBRACE THOSE. WRITE A LIST OF EVERYTHING GOOD ABOUT YOU AND WHAT YOU DO. PUT THEM ON A STICKY, PUT THEM ON A MIRROR IN YOUR BATHROOM AND RECITE EVERYTHING GOOD ABOUT YOU. I'm so angry with myself and I'm embarrassed that I can't seem to snap out of it. The days that I DO get out of the house or I do take a shower before 10am, I have an amazing amount of energy and I'm actually happy. It's getting over that hump every day of knowing I HAVE to do it. I just can't grasp it for some reason. My body and mind are seeming to work against my heart on a regular basis.

That being said, I am looking for friends and support and help. {ADD ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE, I WOULD LOVE TO SUPPORT YOU} I am on FB far too often and, in fact, it is killing my marriage. I'm not sure why I feel the need to have 700+ friends that I haven't talked to in up to 16 years. It's almost like I'm looking for acceptance through Facebook and I feel pathetic. I know I'm not alone in this. I know several people do this on a regular basis but I also know it is not healthy for me. I become offended by some people's responses to my posts, I've been blocked by people that have taken things personally (when it never was), and I get jealous by several of these acquaintances. I have to break away. {I FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO ACCEPT YOURSELF MORE THAN ANYTHING. YOU SEEM LOST, LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. FIND A HOBBY THAT YOU ENJOY SET THAT TIME ASIDE AND DO IT. MAYBE YOU MIGHT CONSIDER FINDING A THERAPIST TO HELP COPE WITH WHAT'S GOING ON. YOUR ISSUES SEEM MUCH DEEPER}

So, here I am. I'm back on MFP and I really want to mean business. I want to show myself that I can lose this last 30 pounds. I want to feel better and learn to adapt to a new and healthier lifestyle. Not for a day. Not for a month. Not for a season. Forever. I need this. My husband needs this. My son needs this. I would love to be encouraged and cheered on and I would love to be a cheerleader for you. I just need that kick in the butt. And, from what I've seen, many of you are qualified to give that extra push. Because, truly, what I've seen from some of you is simply amazing.


ETA: A couple of the biggest things that have been dragging me down is that 1. I made it to 88 days on here and was logging in every day and then...BAM! just like that, I stopped and 2. I got into an argument with my husband last weekend because I wanted to purchase a HRM and he just starting saying things that really hurt. He was saying that HE'S spent thousands of dollars on my weight loss efforts and that he doesn't see how a HRM is going to help. He asked if I couldn't do it with a personal trainer (I lost 25 pounds with a personal trainer, btw) then how was this monitor going to help? He said that instead of buying yet another gimmick I should "just get it done. Just get it done, Adria". Sadly, yes, WE have spent money on a couple of trainers. BUT, I reminded him that the punching bag and stand in the garage are unused and he just HAD to have those. The other equipment (small weights and bands) were his idea, too. Needless to say, I didn't feel any support from him, yet again. Shockingly, he apologized the next morning. That NEVER happens. However, I still believe I need to find support from others that are going through this same journey. {HONESTLY, MY BF WOULD PROBABLY SAY THE SAME THING. HE PROBABLY IS FRUSTRATED, CAN YOU REALLY BLAME HIM? IF Y'ALL HAVE SPENT LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY ON YOUR WEIGHT LOSS BUT YOU HAVEN'T FOUND MOTIVATION TO KEEP IT UP AND DO IT. I THINK ANYONE WOULD BE FRUSTRATED. FORGET THE HEART RATE MONITOR. WORK YOUR *kitten* OFF FOR A GOOD 90 DAYS SHOW HIM YOU MEAN BUSINESS THIS TIME AND I BET YOU HE WILL BUY YOU ONE. }

Sorry this is so long. Thank you for reading if you made it this far.

I feel like you have a few things going on. I really suggest maybe seeking therapy as stated before because everything you've said really leads me to believe maybe you are showing signs of depression.