A lesson learned for me...
shortie_sarah
Posts: 177 Member
I honestly don't know how some of you do it. How do you have a splurge day and not feel completely guilt ridden by it? Last night my husband and I had a date night at Outback Steakhouse. I prepared for it by only eating an apple all day long. (The fact that I had an official weigh in yesterday at the weight loss clinic attributed to that. I don't eat before weigh ins. 2 weeks and lost 10 lbs exact). Anyways, after reading all the posts about having to give yourself a splurge here and there to keep from a potential binge, I chose to get what I would normally (used to) get despite not really wanting it. I got the Alice Springs chicken (chicken with mushrooms, cheese, and bacon on top and served with fries and honey mustard dipping sauce). I had over 1100 calories to get into my system and sure I'm I went over that but I was trying to listen to everyone's advice about not completely restricting yourself. So I ate it, but I wasn't too happy about it. I felt guilty the whole time. Then it completely tore up my stomach. My body did not respond to it well at all. So afterwards I felt both guilty and sick and I didn't really enjoy the food at all. Some was good but for the most part it tasted really greasy to me. I ended up feeling kinda depressed about giving in like that when I knew better. Well I will not be doing that again. I have learned my lesson and will be wiser with my next choice of splurge meal. But how do you all do it? How do you not feel that way and how does it not make you sick after eating so well for a long period?
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Replies
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Having a splurge or cheat day is not about forcing yourself to eat something you don't want. It is about relaxing a little to enjoy a treat now and again. A treat by definition is something you enjoy but don't have often.
Hope you feel better :flowerforyou:0 -
Having a splurge or cheat day is not about forcing yourself to eat something you don't want. It is about relaxing a little to enjoy a treat now and again. A treat by definition is something you enjoy but don't have often.
Hope you feel better :flowerforyou:
That's just it. I thought I wanted it I guess because it used to be my favorite thing from there. The reason I said I got it despite not wanting it was because I was afraid to go over my calories. I have become so, for a lack of a better term, obedient about my calories.0 -
I don't have splurge days because they make me feel like crap. I think our system gets used to the regular, clean, proportioned meals and then retaliates if we overload it with too much food or junk.
Maybe in the future when you go out to eat, you could find something you like that isn't too calorific or heavy, but still a treat. A compromise of sorts.
Hope you feel better soon
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I used to feel guilty. Then I remembered: One bad meal doesn't make you fat, one good meal doesn't make you healthy. When I go to my favourite restaurant, my calories for the day are usually around 2000. I normally eat 1500. I usually don't eat much the rest of the day, and I usually always work out beforehand. Working out before holds you to your promise, whereas its easier to shirk off after.
I'd like to also mention I've never had a "binge" from abstaining from foods that don't have any nutritional benefit. While I do allow the occasional treat, I don't have a "cheat day" except on Christmas and my birthday. That's all, and I still log. Giving yourself those foods honestly does more to ENCOURAGE a binge because I know when I eat something I don't normally eat (hello milk chocolate...) I crave it for a long time after. If I don't eat it, I don't crave it. Weird.
Try to retrain your brain. Remember that weight loss is not about every single day, it's about little changes that make a big impact over time. One day won't derail you and you should be enjoying your night out, not stressing
Like I said before, try repeating "one bad meal won't make me fat, one good meal won't make me thin." It works! I used to be just like you and if I went out to dinner I would not eat anything and starve all day and then work out twice. Made me sick Don't kill yourself over this :P 0 -
Sometimes it does make me sick. I've woken up in the middle of the night so many times after splashing out on fish and chips, or a kebab, feeling horribly nauseated and just awful. I deal with it by not caring and going back to sleep. Mmmmmm... occasional junnnnnnkkkk...0
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"obedient" or "obsessive"? You need to think more about where this is all coming from. You need to enjoy yourself. Get what you WANT when you "cheat". If you don't feel like cheating, don't do it. It's also not healthy to eat just an apple to prepare for a "cheat". You need to do what feels right. If it doesnt feel right, don't do it.0
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Having a splurge or cheat day is not about forcing yourself to eat something you don't want. It is about relaxing a little to enjoy a treat now and again. A treat by definition is something you enjoy but don't have often.
Hope you feel better :flowerforyou:
That's just it. I thought I wanted it I guess because it used to be my favorite thing from there. The reason I said I got it despite not wanting it was because I was afraid to go over my calories. I have become so, for a lack of a better term, obedient about my calories.
For me, it's remembering that this is a lifestyle change and not a diet. You need to have things in moderation.. if you cut out EVERYTHING you once loved do you really think you would stick to this for the long term/rest of your life? never... you gotta be realistic and I get feeling guilty. but have your moderation/splurge meal, and get right back on track! And remember, you don't have to go overboard. If you had a steak, maybe only eat half... or have half the potato... and have more veggies or something. You will find at the end of the week that little meal did nothing to harm your efforts. I don't know, I lost 85lbs doing it, but that's me. I gotta keep it real or I would have gained all my weight back by now.0 -
I feel like it would be better to save your "treat" or "cheat" for something you actually really want to eat. Sometimes your food preferences change (I still think melted cheese is an oily ickyness despite how much of it I can eat at room temp) and if you eat something and it doesn't taste great, stop eating it!
Save it for when you really want that slice of cake/ extra helping of roast potatoes/ bottle of wine.0 -
It might have been better to have eaten half your meal and taken home the other half for the next day. Maybe it wouldn't have made you feel so bad afterward? :ohwell:0
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I got really frustrated when I started eating better, because I had people tell me "Oh, you HAVE to have cheat days." It was pushed as though they were something I needed to schedule in once a week to be successful. I decided that there would be no "cheat days." I would stick to the my calorie limit each and every day and account for special meals as I went. Not having specific cheat days leaves me free to know that if a special party or event comes up, I've been good long enough to be able to relax and go over my limit when the occasion actually warrants it.
Don't feel pressured to have cheat days! If it helps, log everything you eat on cheat days, that way you can make sure you're not totally going overboard and you'll still feel accountable.
I also stay away from fried chicken and foods like McDonald's because they just make me sick now and it's not worth it!0 -
I've noticed the less I eat junk, the more my tastes and stomach change. It may just be time to find a new favorite when you go out. My husband is an avid restaurant addict. I've found alot of new meals on old menus that I just hadn't tried yet, ya know. Its all about the changes in you life and your diet, and in you. Outback... I get steak, veggies and salad. Then eat about half and take it home, meat always eats good the next day. So my advice is next time get what sounds good at the time, not what was good before you started this journey 0
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That I understand. Our tastes change and our bodies become used to being taken are of with good nutrition. Next time you go out get the healthy options and enjoy eating out. Box 1/2 of it or like I do split a meal.Having a splurge or cheat day is not about forcing yourself to eat something you don't want. It is about relaxing a little to enjoy a treat now and again. A treat by definition is something you enjoy but don't have often.
Hope you feel better :flowerforyou:
That's just it. I thought I wanted it I guess because it used to be my favorite thing from there. The reason I said I got it despite not wanting it was because I was afraid to go over my calories. I have become so, for a lack of a better term, obedient about my calories.0 -
In my book, there is no such thing as cheating. The numbers are what the numbers are for a given day. You have a goal for each day that takes you closer to a bigger goal each time you make it. Not every day has to be about that big goal. Most should be and only rare ones should be high enough to back pedal. Don't feel guilty for enjoying yourself every now and then.0
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Oh my soul sister....I can so relate
I do not have cheat days. I want to eat what I like all the time, and now, what I like happens to fall into the healthy category.
Sometimes I do crave a good cupcake...let me stress sometimes, and then I head over to http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/ and make something for a treat.
On feeling guilty. What happened to us in childhood to attribute to these great feelings of guilt? It's not like we cheated on our spouse and yet we feel terrible.
I wish you well, stick with this eating lifestyle 0 -
I enjoy watching MFP do the math for me and seeing what my food choices add up to. And most days I put some effort into staying within 100 calories of my calorie goal. But at least once a week, usually twice a week, I relax that expectation. I enjoy food, I enjoy the experience of dining out. I don't want to completely change my entire life, that was never my goal. I gained weight by being careless about my food choices. I am losing weight by putting some intentional thought into my choices. But I will not let it completely run my life. My life is not going to be ruled by thinking about food all the time. I am making adjustments, not changes. I feel absolutely no guilt about splurging and enjoying myself. I enjoy it.
That said...I have heard from a lot of people who eliminate one type of food from their diet for several months, and then partake of that food at a later time...they've said that it makes them ill. Specifically things like meat and bread. So maybe you went so long without it, that your body just wasn't able to digest that amount of it when you do choose to splurge.0 -
It sounds to me like you basically starved yourself all day and then crammed your stomach full of greasy junk. It's no wonder you ended up feeling horribly sick.
The point of indulging yourself is to keep everything in moderation - eat mostly healthy, but don't over restrict yourself and allow yourself to eat things you enjoy. I'd say you'd have been better off eating sensibly for the rest of the day and then splitting your Outback meal in half and bringing the rest home for lunch the next day. I think you likely would have enjoyed it more and been much less ill afterwards.
I've found that I rarely really binge on food like that any more - I still eat it and enjoy it, but I'm satisfied with less of it. I stop when I'm full and keep the rest for later. This is good, because one take-out order will now stretch me 2-3 meals. I get it enjoy it that much longer, and never feel deprived.0 -
Personally I think it's good to feel a little guilty, not physically sick, but a little guilty. I don't call them splurges or cheats - the only person I would be cheating is me. I budget for them like you did - but I couldn't have survived all day on one apple. When I want/need a treat I enter it into MFP and if I don't like what the numbers tell me I remove it and don't eat it. That happens a lot.
We have ALL worked very hard to get where we are and accomplish what we have. You are changing your way of life, maybe that's not how you eat any more. Were there other items on the menu you would have liked and will maybe chose better in the future ?
I think you answered your own question and you learned a valuable lesson.0 -
If I ate an apple and nothing else and then a big heavy greasy dinner I'd be in the loo sick all night.
I could never do that.
Hope you feel better today.0 -
I think your body was in shock, you starved it all day, then filled it with extremely rich foods.
I don't have cheat days or meals. This is my life and becoming the best me is a process, it's long term and I'm not going to do anything to lose weight that I won't do to keep it off. Having a date night with your husband, or dinner with friends isn't a cheat, it's actually part of the journey to health, taking care of your mind. Some days I eat over my goal, but it's nothing in the grand scheme of this journey. I'm not saying that I don't care what I eat, because I do, I'm just not going to feel bad if I enjoy a meal out.
I went to Outback the other day with my friends. I ate normal all day, I didn't think or worry about what I was going to eat until I got there. Then I made some decisions, and I even had a cocktail. I went over by my calories that day, but I've still lost over 2 pounds this week.
Don't be so hard on yourself, if you are this rough to you, you're going to burn out.0 -
A few days ago I had a splurge meal and here is how I handled it. I ate light before hand, worked out a little extra and then as I was eating I realized that I was full. WOW, what to do now?!?! Before I always would just eat the rest and be miserable physically and emotionally, but what I chose to do was save half and take it home for the next day. I actually ended up under my calorie goal for both days and had TWO splurge meals. Now how do you like that... Not to mention the empowerment I felt by being able to choose to stop when I was full instead of just wolfing it all down. Now that I think of it, that was a huge NSV for me. I would say, don't let it get you down, just get back up and start right in today! You can do it!0
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I would die if I could only have an apple all day. I need protein to stave off my hunger. I also find that if I am starving when I go out I make poor choices. I went out for Thai food last night. I planned for it in the morning, had a light lunch and a high protein snack before going and made sure I got a work out in.. And, I could only eat half my entree--which is not normally the case, so my plan worked. I agree with other posters, you can't deprive yourself, but you have to balance. As you eat healthier your tastes change. Something's are not worth the calories0
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"obedient" or "obsessive"? You need to think more about where this is all coming from. You need to enjoy yourself. Get what you WANT when you "cheat". If you don't feel like cheating, don't do it. It's also not healthy to eat just an apple to prepare for a "cheat". You need to do what feels right. If it doesnt feel right, don't do it.
Well said. It's not about making yourself miserable because you feel you have to. I personally don't use the term cheat meal. If I go over occasionally (like last night) then so be it.0 -
I see it like this since being on my lifestyle change adjustment whatever you want to call it I aim to make better choices and if I know Im going to go to a resturant I look at the menu beforehand and chose not only what I think is tasty but also a calorie intake I can live with, like a poster said above I dont want to feel like food runs my life and yes everybody is different. I dont have cheat days but I defintely have some treats here and there. Also I tend to make sure I have that treat early in the day and I work out later that afternoon also nothing comes in this mouth unless water at 730pm.0
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I am truly amazed by all the helpful responses. Thank you all so much! I was really just trying to follow the advice of fellow MFP members when they said that I need a cheat day to prevent myself from binging. As bad as that meal made me feel, I'm glad it happened because I now know what my body can tolerate due to my new eating habits and it gives me peice of mind knowing that type of food is no longer my favorite. I used to crave patato chips and now I find myself craving apples and oranges. Last night was truly a lesson learned for me! Thanks again for all of the kind and informative responses!! :happy:0
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Hmmm. Extreme weight loss (10lbs in 2 weeks?), obsessive about calories, feeling guilty about splurging on a meal (which probably didn't even put you over your maintenance calories in the first place)?
Have you thought about talking to someone about this before it goes too far? You are exhibiting the symptoms of a typical eating disorder or you will be walking that path very soon. I checked your diary and you're eating 700, 800, 900 a day which is horrifyingly low, no wonder you lost 10lbs in two weeks.
I would vigorously suggest that you re-examine your methods and your mindset before you go down the wrong path here. You're setting yourself up for major problems and major failure. Set your goal for something reasonable (1-1.5lbs a week) and try to reach that goal. And never feel guilty about something you ate. It's one meal or one day, it's not going to hurt anything. A little indulgence here and there is perfectly fine for your sanity. If you didn't enjoy it, that's one thing. Feeling wracked with guilt during and after the meal is a very disordered thought process.0 -
Hmmm. Extreme weight loss (10lbs in 2 weeks?), obsessive about calories, feeling guilty about splurging on a meal (which probably didn't even put you over your maintenance calories in the first place)?
Have you thought about talking to someone about this before it goes too far? You are exhibiting the symptoms of a typical eating disorder or you will be walking that path very soon. I checked your diary and you're eating 700, 800, 900 a day which is horrifyingly low, no wonder you lost 10lbs in two weeks.
I would vigorously suggest that you re-examine your methods and your mindset before you go down the wrong path here. You're setting yourself up for major problems and major failure. Set your goal for something reasonable (1-1.5lbs a week) and try to reach that goal. And never feel guilty about something you ate. It's one meal or one day, it's not going to hurt anything. A little indulgence here and there is perfectly fine for your sanity. If you didn't enjoy it, that's one thing. Feeling wracked with guilt during and after the meal is a very disordered thought process.
Maybe I should have added that I'm taking a prescribed appetite suppressant from dr which I think is part of the weight loss. I do see your concerns, though because I do think I have become a bit obsessive over it. I guess I just hit a mindset where I'm tired of it and I refuse to allow my weight to control me now.0 -
Not trying to be rude, but is there a real medical reason for you to have an appetite suppressant, or are you just trying to make things "easy"? I really hope if it's the latter you stop, because I think you're already on a dangerous path with your mental point of view on weightloss as well as the 10 pounds in 2 weeks. If you take appetite suppressants you are not training yourself or giving yourself the tools you need to keep the weight off for good!Hmmm. Extreme weight loss (10lbs in 2 weeks?), obsessive about calories, feeling guilty about splurging on a meal (which probably didn't even put you over your maintenance calories in the first place)?
Have you thought about talking to someone about this before it goes too far? You are exhibiting the symptoms of a typical eating disorder or you will be walking that path very soon. I checked your diary and you're eating 700, 800, 900 a day which is horrifyingly low, no wonder you lost 10lbs in two weeks.
I would vigorously suggest that you re-examine your methods and your mindset before you go down the wrong path here. You're setting yourself up for major problems and major failure. Set your goal for something reasonable (1-1.5lbs a week) and try to reach that goal. And never feel guilty about something you ate. It's one meal or one day, it's not going to hurt anything. A little indulgence here and there is perfectly fine for your sanity. If you didn't enjoy it, that's one thing. Feeling wracked with guilt during and after the meal is a very disordered thought process.
Maybe I should have added that I'm taking a prescribed appetite suppressant from dr which I think is part of the weight loss. I do see your concerns, though because I do think I have become a bit obsessive over it. I guess I just hit a mindset where I'm tired of it and I refuse to allow my weight to control me now.0 -
Not trying to be rude, but is there a real medical reason for you to have an appetite suppressant, or are you just trying to make things "easy"? I really hope if it's the latter you stop, because I think you're already on a dangerous path with your mental point of view on weightloss as well as the 10 pounds in 2 weeks. If you take appetite suppressants you are not training yourself or giving yourself the tools you need to keep the weight off for good!Hmmm. Extreme weight loss (10lbs in 2 weeks?), obsessive about calories, feeling guilty about splurging on a meal (which probably didn't even put you over your maintenance calories in the first place)?
Have you thought about talking to someone about this before it goes too far? You are exhibiting the symptoms of a typical eating disorder or you will be walking that path very soon. I checked your diary and you're eating 700, 800, 900 a day which is horrifyingly low, no wonder you lost 10lbs in two weeks.
I would vigorously suggest that you re-examine your methods and your mindset before you go down the wrong path here. You're setting yourself up for major problems and major failure. Set your goal for something reasonable (1-1.5lbs a week) and try to reach that goal. And never feel guilty about something you ate. It's one meal or one day, it's not going to hurt anything. A little indulgence here and there is perfectly fine for your sanity. If you didn't enjoy it, that's one thing. Feeling wracked with guilt during and after the meal is a very disordered thought process.
Maybe I should have added that I'm taking a prescribed appetite suppressant from dr which I think is part of the weight loss. I do see your concerns, though because I do think I have become a bit obsessive over it. I guess I just hit a mindset where I'm tired of it and I refuse to allow my weight to control me now.
Well the doctor suggested it to me because I want to lose 50+ pounds. It's only temporary and it does teach me how to portion things. By using it I'm getting my body used to smaller portions and less food overall.0 -
Don't forget if you have a bad day you can still make arrangements to fulfill your weekly caloric goal which is more important in the long run in terms of burning fat0
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Not trying to be rude, but is there a real medical reason for you to have an appetite suppressant, or are you just trying to make things "easy"? I really hope if it's the latter you stop, because I think you're already on a dangerous path with your mental point of view on weightloss as well as the 10 pounds in 2 weeks. If you take appetite suppressants you are not training yourself or giving yourself the tools you need to keep the weight off for good!Hmmm. Extreme weight loss (10lbs in 2 weeks?), obsessive about calories, feeling guilty about splurging on a meal (which probably didn't even put you over your maintenance calories in the first place)?
Have you thought about talking to someone about this before it goes too far? You are exhibiting the symptoms of a typical eating disorder or you will be walking that path very soon. I checked your diary and you're eating 700, 800, 900 a day which is horrifyingly low, no wonder you lost 10lbs in two weeks.
I would vigorously suggest that you re-examine your methods and your mindset before you go down the wrong path here. You're setting yourself up for major problems and major failure. Set your goal for something reasonable (1-1.5lbs a week) and try to reach that goal. And never feel guilty about something you ate. It's one meal or one day, it's not going to hurt anything. A little indulgence here and there is perfectly fine for your sanity. If you didn't enjoy it, that's one thing. Feeling wracked with guilt during and after the meal is a very disordered thought process.
Maybe I should have added that I'm taking a prescribed appetite suppressant from dr which I think is part of the weight loss. I do see your concerns, though because I do think I have become a bit obsessive over it. I guess I just hit a mindset where I'm tired of it and I refuse to allow my weight to control me now.
Well the doctor suggested it to me because I want to lose 50+ pounds. It's only temporary and it does teach me how to portion things. By using it I'm getting my body used to smaller portions and less food overall.
Sarah I have over 100+ pounds to lose and have done it with sheer force of will and some days it's hard but if you are eating the right things you can control your hunger (i.e. high protein/fiber).
I see you are set for 1200 calories and according to your diary you are not hitting that consistently (or at all on the days I checked). It seems that you are dedicated and want to lose the extra weight but the low calories and the pills worry me.
If you are going to continue to take the pills that's your choice but please try and hit at least 1200 calories, especially if you are working out and not eating back your calories from that.
Don't undo all you have done by going for the quick fix.0
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