Are you sure your not getting to skinny?

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knittingwitch
knittingwitch Posts: 231 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am 27 yr old and 5.7" current weight 157.2 lbs.
My mother has been saying weird things to me over a period of time like did you ever think when you started this you would be where you are today?, are you losing the weight in a healthy way?, I don't think you could possibly lose any more weight, are you sure you don't have an ED?.
Now you might be thinking well if you've been overweight your whole life she just isn't use to seeing you so skinny, well you would be wrong growing up I was always athletic I was always in the normal BMI range for my height and age. I didn't get to be overweight until I got married, and I didn't become obese until after I had my baby and I gained it within 6 months. So for the majority of my life I was not overweight.
Now I eat 6 meals a day most of the time and I always eat more food when I workout hard, I take breaks when I'm sick so it doesn't get worse and relax when my body tells me to cut back. So no I don't have an ED, I love my self and I love how strong I am.
But the problem is now my dad is getting into it today he asked me if I wasn't getting too skinny, I told him no I'm not, then he asked how much do I weigh now? I told him 157 and he gave me this look like I was in denial.
Why are they trying to make me feel bad about my successes. My goal weight is 140 which isn't extreme at all that is a normal weight I've weighed less during my senior year of high school. I haven't lost the weight in an extremely short about of time either I have been changing my lifestyle for almost a whole year now.
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Replies

  • Datahorde
    Datahorde Posts: 154
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    I get this all the time from my Parents and 'older' family members. I had to show them that the studies for my height and weight were even lower than where I was. Now they have accepted it, but they still say having a dessert or treat is ok - I just like my diet and save the calories for beer. :)

    awesome job btw. keep it up! :drinker:
  • godsgrl33
    godsgrl33 Posts: 307 Member
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    I'm sorry you are going through all of this. I think that as a society, we are used to seeing people overweight so much, that when someone is normal weight, we percieve them as skinny. I have had this same thing happen to a few friends of mine. They lost weight by changing thier lifestyle as well, but people were saying mean things, like they must be anorexic. (even though, they were eating all the time) Maybe, show them the charts that say you're in a normal range, like the guy before me said.
  • ShmareParks
    ShmareParks Posts: 88 Member
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    Something similar happened to me. For a few years, I was vegan and I exercised a lot. I feel I was quite underweight - 109 pounds when most of my life I'd been 125 pounds. Nobody said anything.

    Then I was under a lot of stress and I gained a LOT of weight. (I shot up to 162 over a period of about 3 years.)

    Then I saw a photo of myself and didn't recognize myself at first, and I realised I'd better start curbing the comfort-eating. So I joined MFP and have lost about 30 pounds in a year. So now I'm around 130.

    NOW ALL THE COMMENTS HAVE BEGUN! "You'd better not lose any more weight." "Be careful you're not becoming anorexic." "You're almost too skinny now. You'd better stop dieting."

    Um .... I can assure everyone I'm not "too skinny." Trust me, I see myself naked, and I have a marvellous beer belly. I was significantly skinnier most of my life, and REALLY REALLY skinnier while vegan. Why have they chosen now to start commenting, when I'm relatively average-sized?

    Well, I have a theory about it: I think people have such a hard time losing weight that when they see someone actually do it, they can hardly believe their eyes. They suspect some sort of foul play because they know (or think) that they themselves could never lose 30 pounds. They have tried to lose weight and failed, so they figure you must be abusing yourself to meet with success.

    Nobody, but nobody, seems to want to believe that if you log your calories and exercise off your excesses you will inevitably lose weight, eh?
  • JisatsuHoshi
    JisatsuHoshi Posts: 421 Member
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    125 lbs @ 5.7% bf and all my friends are like: dude I could bench you one-handed...


    I want to go as low as 4% ...
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
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    I'm not one for conspiracy theories normally, but I blame 'big' food.

    They are able to manipulate society in such a way as to have them believing that Anorexia is a common illness (heads up, it isn't. 0.6% of Americans will suffer from it in their lifetime) and that eating too little is worse than eating too much.

    They sponsor the programmes we watch (all of them) but leave out anything promoting true healthy eating. Shows like 'Biggest Loser' 'Supersize vs Superskinny' focus on extremes and any type of show that shows a more average type of weight loss is nixed because it doesn't fit their agenda.

    We, meaning society, need to stop relying on tv ads and tv shows for our health information and start relying instead on peer reviewed medical journals.

    Sheesh.

    Empower yourself with information and don't buy into your families' way of thinking. They are misinformed.
  • JasmineOravec
    JasmineOravec Posts: 88 Member
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    I can relate so I'm really looking forward to what people recommend. Thanks for sharing your problem and I hope you get some great advice to handle the less- than- helpful questions and comments. You deserve to feel proud and deeply happy about your accomplishments and future goals for sure! Good luck!!!
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
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    You probably aren't too skinny. But, if you have low BF for your weight and you have a medium or large frame then at that weight you will look pretty skinny. It doesn't mean you aren't healthy and that you can't lose a bit more, but it will alarm people if they aren't aware of how much you weigh. Your dad probably heard your weight and thought can't be that high looks 140 already.
  • anne2605
    anne2605 Posts: 482 Member
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    They are your parents, they're just showing concern. I'm mum to a 27 year old and I'm always concerned for her, and she lives on the other side of the world to me. When we speak via Skype, I always ask her, is she eating ok, is she sleeping ok, is she safe (when she travels). She comes back at me with "yes mum" and roles her eyes at me but that's just the way it is. She listen but does what she wants to do, including have yet another tattoo :( It's just what parents do, worry, worry, worry. Just reassure your parents you know what you're doing, you're in control and just let them worry

    p.s. I'm 49 and 5ft 7" and I now weigh 138.9lb. In Jan this year I was 182.5lb. I've lost the weight sensibly with eating better and exercise. I'm very happy with how I've lost the weight and if others show concern about the speed or amount I'v lost, that's their issue not mine.
  • be_patient
    be_patient Posts: 186 Member
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    My family doesn't give me any support either. If anything, they try to sabotage my "diet" or eating ways by cooking up fragant foods and buying home tons of unhealthy but oh so sinfully delicious food...

    I think those who don't respect your dietary lifestyle and don't want you to lose weight to be healthy of get fit are just envious that you have made the decision to do so. It probably makes them feel bad that they aren't setting any healthy goals so they try to talk you out of your goals.

    Your goal is perfecly prefectly healthy, please keep working towards it. Try explaining it to your parents, and eventually they'll understand x.
  • LeanneGoingThin
    LeanneGoingThin Posts: 215 Member
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    Well, I have a theory about it: I think people have such a hard time losing weight that when they see someone actually do it, they can hardly believe their eyes. They suspect some sort of foul play because they know (or think) that they themselves could never lose 30 pounds. They have tried to lose weight and failed, so they figure you must be abusing yourself to meet with success.

    Nobody, but nobody, seems to want to believe that if you log your calories and exercise off your excesses you will inevitably lose weight, eh?
    I think this is true. People think you must be obsessive or have an eating disorder when you manage to lose that much weight. And in that case they think it's their 'duty' to warn you that you've become skinny enough, even though you're not underweight.
  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
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    I have heard these comments also!! You are too skinny. I am just right for my height and age. I feel great. Not sure if people are jealous or... the new clothes I needed actually fit and are not baggy!!!
  • TheHorribleBlob
    TheHorribleBlob Posts: 84 Member
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    My dad's the only person who accuses me of starving myself and being "too skinny", but I'm pretty sure it's because he's mad he can't tease me about my weight and make me feel bad about myself anymore.
  • VanillaBeanSeed
    VanillaBeanSeed Posts: 562 Member
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    I am 27 yr old and 5.7" current weight 157.2 lbs.
    My mother has been saying weird things to me over a period of time like did you ever think when you started this you would be where you are today?, are you losing the weight in a healthy way?, I don't think you could possibly lose any more weight, are you sure you don't have an ED?.
    Now you might be thinking well if you've been overweight your whole life she just isn't use to seeing you so skinny, well you would be wrong growing up I was always athletic I was always in the normal BMI range for my height and age. I didn't get to be overweight until I got married, and I didn't become obese until after I had my baby and I gained it within 6 months. So for the majority of my life I was not overweight.
    Now I eat 6 meals a day most of the time and I always eat more food when I workout hard, I take breaks when I'm sick so it doesn't get worse and relax when my body tells me to cut back. So no I don't have an ED, I love my self and I love how strong I am.
    But the problem is now my dad is getting into it today he asked me if I wasn't getting too skinny, I told him no I'm not, then he asked how much do I weigh now? I told him 157 and he gave me this look like I was in denial.
    Why are they trying to make me feel bad about my successes. My goal weight is 140 which isn't extreme at all that is a normal weight I've weighed less during my senior year of high school. I haven't lost the weight in an extremely short about of time either I have been changing my lifestyle for almost a whole year now.

    First and foremost, they are your parents and are just loving you and trying to look out for you! :]

    But this can be frustrating. It makes ME second guess myself. "Am I too skinny? Am I doing this right?" And I dont like that.

    As long as you are eating and healthy, then just try and shrug it off and move on.


    Best thing you can probably do. Eat in front of them! HAHA
  • prillabong
    prillabong Posts: 1 Member
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    I think its because people struggle to come to terms with such big changes. People like familiarity
  • EngineerPrincess
    EngineerPrincess Posts: 306 Member
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    Wow, in my life I've had the opposite problem. I *was* too skinny in high school, but all I heard from family was "nah, she's normal, we were skinnier when we were teenagers it's just genetics." People only notice changes, and sadly, people feel they NEED to comment on changes. If you get to 140 and stay there they won't talk about it eventually. :) Good luck!
  • Zeade
    Zeade Posts: 25
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    It's probably because they're used to seeing you bigger but if your healthy that's the main thing ! x
  • Sqeekyjojo
    Sqeekyjojo Posts: 704 Member
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    We're told that fat loss is really hard, we need 'special' foods, diet secrets, miracle cures and foods. We have to have experts flogging hugely expensive DVD sets where they screech at the camera just as they do on shows where long term joint health is ignored in Favour of having a sad story and a large number to quote at the end of show weigh in. We have synthetic flavourings and foodstuffs and mutilation of our digestive tracts, all in the media, all of the time.


    So somebody doing it and not using magic pills or formulae, not whining and wailing about their 'journey', not suffering like the media says you are supposed to do - well, that means it has to be anorexia, because nobody ever loses fat and gets healthy without external help.

    Plus, in your case, they may have had concerns you were developing an ED when you were much smaller, particularly with cutting out such a large food group. Those concerns may have gone away as you ate a wider range of food and put on weight, and now you're getting fitter, they're worried you could be relapsing. No idea how to solve that problem if you didn't have an ED in the first place, as if that's what they believe, there's not a lot you can do to change their opinion.
  • tibsons_girl
    tibsons_girl Posts: 35 Member
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    Well, I have a theory about it: I think people have such a hard time losing weight that when they see someone actually do it, they can hardly believe their eyes. They suspect some sort of foul play because they know (or think) that they themselves could never lose 30 pounds. They have tried to lose weight and failed, so they figure you must be abusing yourself to meet with success.

    ^^^ This, definitely. I hear all the time that i am too skinny and should eat more etc. etc. meanwhile i haven't lost any weight or changed the eating habits i've had all along. People see what they want to see, especially if it makes them think that they are being lazy or not eating properly and they take out their body frustrations on you. Parents worry about your health and happiness though, they don't mean anything bad by it.

    Great job so far OP!
  • susanr613
    susanr613 Posts: 22
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    First, good for you to focus on your good health!

    Second, I agree with many of other posters, especially the one that commented on how the media messes with our minds on the issue of weight and body size.

    While it is sweet of your parents to be concerned, in the end it's your life and your body to do what you think is best. Unless they are actively trying to sabotage you, I hope you can let their comments go in one ear and out the other without building it into a big issue.

    Keep up the good work!
  • emergencytennis
    emergencytennis Posts: 864 Member
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    My dear girl.

    I am 5 foot 7 and 57 kilos. Not sure what that is but lets call it 130 lbs.

    I am healthy, very healthy. My weight is normal amongst my peers. We are all about the same, and it never causes comment. All my mates are a healthy weight.

    I don't know how to say this, except to say; you are the normal one.

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