Ive lost the weight, but feel like an imposter...

Firstly, you are a rock star, and never forget what an amazing achievement you're made.

Secondly, I think it's very normal to feel like you do. I've heard/read lots of other people say the same. I've lost a little over half of what you have, but I have a lot of the same feelings too. It's a very confusing time. I do double takes sometimes when I see my reflection, I still feel like the fattest person in the room, even when I'm the slimmest. I have no clue about what size clothes I should be wearing half the time (it really doesn't help that different brands have different sizes) and I have no clue about what suits me. Sometimes I'll dress up and feel like I'm trying to hard, or showing off, or I'll realise that something doesn't suit me as well as I'd thought it would. Other times I'll dress down more because I just don't have the confidence. I'm finding it hard to find my style really, especially as my body has changed shape, so I have to learn new ways of dressing it.

If I gain a pound or two, I feel enormous, as if I never lost the weight, and yet some days I look at photos and can't believe I was ever that fat. People make little jokes or throwaway comments about me being small (not in a nasty way) and I don't know how to react. A couple of people that I've met since losing the weight have commented that I don't have to worry about weight, or alluded to the fact that I'm thinner than them, and I feel confused because I assumed I was bigger than them.

Confidence definitely doesn't magically appear when the weight is gone. I'm quite a shy person anyway, so I suppose that has something to do with it. I don't know if you've always been overweight, but I think that if you have, (or have for many years) that it can be harder than for someone who is slim for a long time, gains weight, and loses it again. I think they somehow go back to the confident person they perhaps were before; they felt "different" when they were bigger, and had to get back to the old/normal them. When you start off big, it's hard to feel normal when you lose the weight.

It messes with your head, that's for sure. I think your mind does take some time to catch up. I try to just accept compliments etc without thinking about them too much, and accept that there are days when I feel either fat, or uncomfortable, or less confident, and wait for the days when I feel more confident. I think time will definitely help.

thanks for your responses...

i wish i could put my finger on why or what makes me feel like this...

confidence or lack of it? wanting to feel good but not feel worthy of such a feeling....

you probably just use to a different way of everyone looking at you now you are different so the looks are also you must allow yourself to except complements and and know that you did this it wasn't magic!!!!! or a trick!!!!

In my experience as an obese person, being noticed is usually a bad thing. Most of the time people ignore you, but when they notice you, it's not always a good thing. Even if it's harmless, in your mind you project your negative perception and judgements about yourself onto what they must be thinking about you. Now that you are a smaller, healthier you, people "see" you. You no longer have that veil of invisibility and that may be an adjustment for you. You still may be projecting your own feelings, such as feeling like an imposter (in "their" world, perhaps?), onto what they are thinking. As much as I hate the term, you should probably look at your "self-talk". The fact that your feel like an imposter is coming from you, not other people - so, it's something you are telling yourself is a truth about who you are.

Also, you are now able to dress your healthy new body in clothes, that compared to the nondescript clothing you previously wore, probably feels attention-grabbing to you. In reality, you are probably just dressing like a normal person. Give yourself time and continue to ask questions of yourself about how you are perceiving things. Most of all, be proud of your hard work and accomplishment! You EARNED your new body - be proud! (And guess what... it's OKAY to show off!)

I also think losing weight is something you do just for yourself and we are all used to doing so many things for others, ie: children, friends and family in need....that it is hard to accept that you have done something totally for yourself. You can also think of it in a different way.....since you have lost the weight, you have made yourself much healthier and will be around much longer for those you care about and care about you! :-)

Congratulations! You're still the same person, just healthier, hotter, and with more grit and discipline than before. Change is a fact of life - you chose to make a change for the better.

You're not alone! My sister went through this when she lost 65 pounds. She looked fantastic, but her self-esteem remained low. It took a while for her confidence to catch up with her rockin' bod. Seeing a counselor helped her a lot.

Congrats on your weight loss! Hang in there. :flowerforyou: