Breaking up is hard to do

jadeblack81
jadeblack81 Posts: 27 Member
in Motivation and Support
I guess this is me reaching out to anyone else recently dumped. I wasn't doing perfect diet-wise before, but I really would like to avoid completely falling off the wagon...
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Replies

  • 63hanson
    63hanson Posts: 154 Member
    I'm sorry to hear about your breakup:(, but please don't let it stop you from doing what you want/need to do. Use it as a catalyst to do better, prove to yourself you can do it. And it's always nice to look great the next time you run into your ex!
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
    It's normal to be messed up for a minute. At least make a deal with yourself to track your food intake, so you know what you are doing.
  • ellaloveslove
    ellaloveslove Posts: 166 Member
    I'm so sorry :( Don't let it define how you feel about yourself, you are still a wonderful person and this is just a bump in the road :)
    It's import to take time and grieve the loss of a relationship; however, a sure fire way to feel better and back to normal is to take care of yourself by sticking with your lifestyle change of eating better and losing weight, you can do it! Besides, looking and feeling awesome is the best revenge ;)
  • TheHorribleBlob
    TheHorribleBlob Posts: 84 Member
    What happened?
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Breaking up was my FUEL (as in for workouts, commitment, drive). I thought, "I've got nothing left but me (other life stuff happened along with it), but that's a thing I have some control over. It's on."
  • jadeblack81
    jadeblack81 Posts: 27 Member
    Thanks guys. My boyfriend of 10 years met someone through the Playstation network and they are "in love". There's more to it than that, but I was totally blindsided. I missed my run yesterday...but have gotten some activity in, i.e. piling his crap up and chucking at glass candle at him.
  • TheHorribleBlob
    TheHorribleBlob Posts: 84 Member
    Thanks guys. My boyfriend of 10 years met someone through the Playstation network and they are "in love". There's more to it than that, but I was totally blindsided. I missed my run yesterday...but have gotten some activity in, i.e. piling his crap up and chucking at glass candle at him.

    WOW. F**K that guy. Seriously, that's freakin' horrible. I hope you're doing okay. :(
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Thanks guys. My boyfriend of 10 years met someone through the Playstation network and they are "in love". There's more to it than that, but I was totally blindsided. I missed my run yesterday...but have gotten some activity in, i.e. piling his crap up and chucking at glass candle at him.

    Excellent anaerobic work, keep it up ;-)

    Jerk. It's for the better. Playstation network? As in, he had enough of some kind of life on there to do whatever? In about 18 months, that is going to be hilarious to you. Take care.
  • JAllen32
    JAllen32 Posts: 991 Member
    IN LOVE?!?! Holy *kitten*. And how much younger than him is she? So now that they have established that they are in love, are they going to have some cyber wedding? And create little avitar babies? Sounds like a healthy relationship. I just want to drive over there and punch him in his hairy little face. >:-(
  • Renee428
    Renee428 Posts: 29 Member
    Breaking up was my FUEL (as in for workouts, commitment, drive). I thought, "I've got nothing left but me (other life stuff happened along with it), but that's a thing I have some control over. It's on."

    I feel the exact same way. It was the drive that I need me when I first got into the fitness world. I lost 100 lbs in a year. Then met someone and it slowly crept back on. Now I just put myself first.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    You can anaesthetize yourself with eating, drinking, or exercise. Use exercise -- it will feel really good to know that you're not letting him break your body as well as your heart.
  • aelunyu
    aelunyu Posts: 486 Member
    Usually, negative emotions can have positive outlets. Rage, anger, fear, regret, are all pretty powerful motivators, if you can sort of channel them efficiently. Perhaps allow the natural course of healing to take place, then displace some of those negative residuals to your continued success.
  • jennyrebekka
    jennyrebekka Posts: 626 Member
    I know how tough it is......hugs to you.....releasing some of that sadness/anger/frustration through physical exercise is a MUST! It will make you feel so much better - - you won't ever have a workout then say "i shouldn't have done that"....good luck
  • paeli
    paeli Posts: 295 Member
    Yep... Got dumped 3 weeks ago today. To be honest, it hurts me to even click on a topic about relationships as I am very raw about the topic. I am right here with you and I know how you feel. I have struggled with stress related sickness (nausea every morning, appetite lost for over a week, causing fatigue, etc.) these past few weeks but I am forcing myself to try to eat as normally as possible and maintain my fitness routine. During hard times it is nice to have stability, a regular fitness routine would definitely help. Like a poster mentioned earlier, I have control of my body and how I treat myself, I plan to treat myself well. That's the best route to healing.

    I've been trying to fill the "hole" with good habits. I've had moments where I was crying and biking in the rain, the kind of scene that should be from a B/S romantic comedy, lol. Tears pouring with sweat during the meditation at the end of an intense hot yoga session, very therapeutic.
  • knitwit0704
    knitwit0704 Posts: 376
    It's been about six months since this guy left me for another girl, but I still haven't gotten over it. So I'm in with you.

    Edit: Feel free to friend or message me.
  • tifmurphyq
    tifmurphyq Posts: 1 Member
    I just went through a breakup with my boyfriend of 10 years ... I gained the weight during the relationship, now I wonder if he stole all my "pretty" years, so I'm trying super hard to look better than ever before. I could sure use some friends though!!

    Best of luck!
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Thanks guys. My boyfriend of 10 years met someone through the Playstation network and they are "in love". There's more to it than that, but I was totally blindsided. I missed my run yesterday...but have gotten some activity in, i.e. piling his crap up and chucking at glass candle at him.

    Excellent anaerobic work, keep it up ;-)

    Jerk. It's for the better. Playstation network? As in, he had enough of some kind of life on there to do whatever? In about 18 months, that is going to be hilarious to you. Take care.

    As unfeeling and cold as that may sound, I cannot stress enough how true it is. I recently found an old journal of mine, chronicling the very bad breakup of my most recent serious ex. The pages were spattered with tear marks, and filled with so much angst, it was pathetic. Now, that journal is hysterical. All I can do is laugh at the silly girl who wrote those words and cried over a useless man-child that I never even think about anymore.

    The long and short of it is: it will suck for a while. Suck hard. But if you can keep reminding yourself that you won't always be sad, and that it will get better, it won't be so hard. After a while you'll forget to be sad, and a little after that, you won't even care. And pretty soon after THAT, you'll wake up one morning and realize you haven't even thought of the douche in several days, a week, a month. And you'll be genuinely happy to be well shot of him.
  • Grumpy2208
    Grumpy2208 Posts: 63
    Thanks guys. My boyfriend of 10 years met someone through the Playstation network and they are "in love". There's more to it than that, but I was totally blindsided. I missed my run yesterday...but have gotten some activity in, i.e. piling his crap up and chucking at glass candle at him.

    Excellent anaerobic work, keep it up ;-)

    Jerk. It's for the better. Playstation network? As in, he had enough of some kind of life on there to do whatever? In about 18 months, that is going to be hilarious to you. Take care.

    As unfeeling and cold as that may sound, I cannot stress enough how true it is. I recently found an old journal of mine, chronicling the very bad breakup of my most recent serious ex. The pages were spattered with tear marks, and filled with so much angst, it was pathetic. Now, that journal is hysterical. All I can do is laugh at the silly girl who wrote those words and cried over a useless man-child that I never even think about anymore.

    The long and short of it is: it will suck for a while. Suck hard. But if you can keep reminding yourself that you won't always be sad, and that it will get better, it won't be so hard. After a while you'll forget to be sad, and a little after that, you won't even care. And pretty soon after THAT, you'll wake up one morning and realize you haven't even thought of the douche in several days, a week, a month. And you'll be genuinely happy to be well shot of him.

    Amen.
  • albatrosssherpa
    albatrosssherpa Posts: 63 Member
    Right here with you. It's been 3 months - and I found out that he had a very serious issue with my weight and said all kinds of horrible hurtful things about it behind my back. Not to mention calling me a fat c*&t to my face and he was very abusive. I use the anger I still have to get through work out slumps. Lost all the weight i gained in the 2 1/2 years I put up with his sorry behind. Oh and after only a few weeks apart he had already shacked up with another woman and is in love and engaged.
  • leanne0605
    leanne0605 Posts: 183 Member
    Definitely use this situation as fuel to become a better you. I became more determined about getting fit once I stopped focusing on a guy who wasn't worth my time. Sorry about you break up.
  • LeahT84
    LeahT84 Posts: 202 Member
    The last guy I dated broke up with me a couple months ago, in a text message. It took a while to figure out why he was ending it, but found out that he didn't like that I was losing weight and becoming more confident in myself. He started seeing a girl much bigger than me within a week of us breaking up. He likes his women weak and self conscious because it makes him feel better about himself.....

    Point is, I laughed because it was so ridiculous! It hurt at first, and now I realize that anyone who doesn't want to be fully committed to you isn't worth your damn time or effort. This guy that did that to you is a total D - BAG. He is not worth your time. Put 110% percent of your sadness/anger/frustration into your workouts, push through the pain, and you will see that you are way to good for him. He'd rather be with some lazy chick who spends all day playing video games instead of someone who wants to get out and enjoy the life around them, then let him be lazy and miserable with someone else, and you embrace singlehood and learn to love yourself so that some day, some wonderful man will walk into your life and sweep you off your feet and never make you feel anything less than the beautiful person you are!!!
  • joseejolie
    joseejolie Posts: 50 Member
    Boom!!!!!!!! I recently broke up with a guy who was a complete *kitten*. On to the next, let the good times roll! Anyone who chooses some videogame playing geek over a hottie like you needs his head examined anyway. Keep loving yourself and focusing on gettting back in touch with your likes, hobbies, friends and most importantly your-self! This is an exciting time, ask yourself- What kind of world do you want? Then create it for yourself.
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
    Please... my ex left me for someone cuter (his words) when I was still nursing our baby (and had a 2 year old)... I used that as fuel to be the best me I could. Its mostly for me but dang, does it feel good since I am soooo way much hotter than his mistress. She knows it and makes his life difficult, and I just smile and keep on being happy.
  • jlfoster0427
    jlfoster0427 Posts: 86
    Breakups always motivated me to be the best me possible. If im the best I can be then it was definitely their loss. Use those feelings to motivate you to work harder to really make them regret breaking up with you :) May be a bit shallow but you have to channel that horrible feelings into something better :)
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    Living well truly is the best revenge.

    Get on it.
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
    Please... my ex left me for someone cuter (his words) when I was still nursing our baby (and had a 2 year old)... I used that as fuel to be the best me I could. Its mostly for me but dang, does it feel good since I am soooo way much hotter than his mistress. She knows it and makes his life difficult, and I just smile and keep on being happy.

    Ouch! What a d*ck.

    To the OP: I know it;s an old expression, but time really does heal all wounds. If you really think about it, I bet this guy was a jerk all along. Don't let it derail you, cause he's not worth it.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    Breaking up is easy.

    That's why there's texting and emails.
  • bostonwolf
    bostonwolf Posts: 3,038 Member
    Thanks guys. My boyfriend of 10 years met someone through the Playstation network and they are "in love". There's more to it than that, but I was totally blindsided. I missed my run yesterday...but have gotten some activity in, i.e. piling his crap up and chucking at glass candle at him.

    His loss. You eat right and run for you, not for him. Focus on that and keep up the exercise. Staying busy will help your work through it all.

    Send him on his way and tell him not to ever come back looking to get back together. You are better off without someone that selfish and shallow.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    awww, I am sorry, but all the more reason to get tough and strong and kick some butt.
    WILLPOWER! YOU GO!
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    Thanks guys. My boyfriend of 10 years met someone through the Playstation network and they are "in love". There's more to it than that, but I was totally blindsided. I missed my run yesterday...but have gotten some activity in, i.e. piling his crap up and chucking at glass candle at him.

    Excellent anaerobic work, keep it up ;-)

    Jerk. It's for the better. Playstation network? As in, he had enough of some kind of life on there to do whatever? In about 18 months, that is going to be hilarious to you. Take care.

    As unfeeling and cold as that may sound, I cannot stress enough how true it is. I recently found an old journal of mine, chronicling the very bad breakup of my most recent serious ex. The pages were spattered with tear marks, and filled with so much angst, it was pathetic. Now, that journal is hysterical. All I can do is laugh at the silly girl who wrote those words and cried over a useless man-child that I never even think about anymore.

    The long and short of it is: it will suck for a while. Suck hard. But if you can keep reminding yourself that you won't always be sad, and that it will get better, it won't be so hard. After a while you'll forget to be sad, and a little after that, you won't even care. And pretty soon after THAT, you'll wake up one morning and realize you haven't even thought of the douche in several days, a week, a month. And you'll be genuinely happy to be well shot of him.

    Pretty much this

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