Unwanted attention
Replies
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Just fart while he's behind you. He'll leave you alone after that.
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Have you tried telling him that he is distracting you from your workouts and you are on a time schedule?
I agree with what has been said, be honest, you are paying to go and workout.
Karen0 -
You are making something out of nothing. There are creepo guys out there, deal with it, like every other women does. You said he's friendly, how do you know he doesn't say the same thing to other women?
I will really really love to hear these things he says that are crossing the line...
Looks like we've found OP's gym manager. :huh:0 -
The mens comments on here are making me lol..Just be honest and tell him you aren't there to socialize.
This is what I would do.0 -
You are making something out of nothing. There are creepo guys out there, deal with it, like every other women does. You said he's friendly, how do you know he doesn't say the same thing to other women?
I will really really love to hear these things he says that are crossing the line...
Looks like we've found OP's gym manager. :huh:
That's what I was thinking. :laugh:0 -
IF being direct does not work nor does anything else you should consider filing a sexual harassment suit becouse more than likely you are not the first one nor will you be the last. At the very least it will get some attention lawyers are reall good at that.0
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Thanks for the replies
I have tried the headphone thing but he just stands there grinning at me until I take them out.
I would love to say 'back off' but I don't want to be rude. I think I'm too nice for my own good, but obviously I need to do something as I don't want this to keep happening.
Will keep trying to ignore him and if the comments do get worse then I will talk to his manager.
I am back at the gym tomorrow so wish me luck....
What do you mean "you don't want to be rude?" R u kidding me?
If someone is invading your personal space and you are uncomfortable, its your human right to say something.
Stop walking on eggshells and dancing around ppl.
Your not gonna get anywhere in life "being the polite" one trust me.
There will be others, they see a weakness in you and they feed on it.
Grow a pair or stop complaining.0 -
I have been a member of my gym for quite a long time and a few months ago the gym manager started to say hi to me and talk to me about exercise and fitness etc... but over the last few weeks he has started to ask more personal questions and has started to drop in inappropriate comments which is now making me feel uncomfortable. I try to avoid him but as soon as he sees me come into the gym he makes a bee line for me! He stands behind the equipment I am working on, staring at me and its starting to annoy me now.
I used to love going to the gym but now I dread it because of him. I feel my only option is to find another gym or try to ignore him and hope he gets bored?
Part of me thinks maybe I am making something out of nothing, because he is a really friendly guy but I think some of his comments are crossing the line.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
You are making something out of nothing. There are creepo guys out there, deal with it, like every other women does. You said he's friendly, how do you know he doesn't say the same thing to other women?
I will really really love to hear these things he says that are crossing the line...
Hon, your comment just made her point very valid.0 -
Say "HI!" Give him a high five and then say "gotta work out now!" and just walk away.0
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Just be honest and tell him you aren't there to socialize.
This.0 -
I agree with previous posters on wearing earbuds and just tell him you're not there to socialize.0
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Headphones in. Wave hello if he makes eye contact and clearly wants to talk. Keep walking.
Depending on how inappropriate the comments are, I might consider talking to an owner, district manager...whoever is in charge of this fella.
I don't think you're being ridiculous. A lot of people find themselves on the receiving end of unwanted attention after establishing a harmless, friendly rapport with someone. It can get uncomfortable.
When you wave hold something in your hand so that you can only use one finger....0 -
Have you tried farting when he is standing behind the equipment you are using?
Yeah, tell him directly, firmly, but politely, that you are there to work out and it is not appreciated. If that doesn't work, a loud call out that draws everyone's attention will..0 -
You are NOT making something out of nothing. Tell him that you'll report him to the management if he doesn't leave you alone. DO NOT tell him he makes you nervous!!! If he doesn't stop, report him. If he's the management, drop your membership, start going to another gym, and report it to the owners and/or the local police.
Good Luck. 0 -
If subtle hints and suggestions were going to work, he would have already figured out that you're not interested. Skip the headphone, disappearing and bring-another-guy games and just tell him directly that you are not interested.0
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How has he "crossed the line"?0
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Manager talking to you in the gym? I think we can all agree there's only one way to handle this.
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If he's just standing there till you take the headphones off, just take one out, say "what" in the most flat, annoyed tone you can manage. If he's not a complete moron, he'll stammer something and walk away. If he is a complete moron, he'll start talking. If he does that, your response is "is there something you actually needed? I'm working out." And go to his boss.Thanks for the replies
I have tried the headphone thing but he just stands there grinning at me until I take them out.
I would love to say 'back off' but I don't want to be rude. I think I'm too nice for my own good, but obviously I need to do something as I don't want this to keep happening.
Will keep trying to ignore him and if the comments do get worse then I will talk to his manager.
I am back at the gym tomorrow so wish me luck....0 -
You can't just say "get lost"?!0
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Tell him straight out that you're there to workout and not socialize with him. If he doesn't get that, just tell him get lost!0
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Manager talking to you in the gym? I think we can all agree there's only one way to handle this.
hahaha, love it!0 -
You are NOT making something out of nothing. Tell him that you'll report him to the management if he doesn't leave you alone. DO NOT tell him he makes you nervous!!! If he doesn't stop, report him. If he's the management, drop your membership, start going to another gym, and report it to the owners and/or the local police.
Good Luck.
Before threatening to report him or calling the police (lols) can I suggest maybe asking him to give you some space?0 -
OP with stunted social skills vs. gym manager with potentially awkward social skills = lolz0
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Thanks for the replies
I have tried the headphone thing but he just stands there grinning at me until I take them out.
I would love to say 'back off' but I don't want to be rude. I think I'm too nice for my own good, but obviously I need to do something as I don't want this to keep happening.
Will keep trying to ignore him and if the comments do get worse then I will talk to his manager.
I am back at the gym tomorrow so wish me luck....
If headphones didn't do the trick, then be direct. I tend to be "too nice" a lot as well, but enough is enough.
You are there to workout. If he again waits for you to take out your earbuds, tell him you don't like being interrupted in the middle of your workout. You gotta focus. It's best to be direct, only go to the manager if he continues after you directly told him to stop.
You can do it, good luck!0 -
"Hey, you're really nice and all but I think you have the wrong idea. I'm gay. My girlfriend is the jealous type and she's on leave from the marine corp and I wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea."0
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He is either oblivious to his effect on you and needs to be educated for his sake as well as yours and if he is not oblivious then he is relying on you to be timid and taking advantage of your politeness and needs to once again educated be it through strong words if this has no effect then reported...basically whatever is necessary as its not only an issue of being uncomfortable at the gym but also an issue of your personal space.
Do try to communicate first most guys will back off if they know they are not wanted.
Be strong and imagine an MFP army backing you up!!0 -
It's not fair to him to go straight to his superiors when you haven't even asked him once to stop (what if he got fired? Is that what you want? I guess it would solve your problem but could haunt him for life) . He's probably clueless. Just grow a pair and tell him that it makes you uncomfortable to be watched while you work out, and that you're not there to socialize. Smile while you say it, say "no offense intended, but..." or "It's not you, it's me" if you must, but tell him how you feel. If he continues after that, then go to management.0
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I would just say "Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude but I really need to get this workout done." Then plug my phones in. He should get the hint.0
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1) ask him out
2) have a romantic meal
3) invite him back to your place
4) wrestle with him under the sheets
5) when he's tired and recovering his breath, tell him that you're not interested and that he's making you uncomfortable by invading your space at the gym
or
1) the next time he invades your space at the gym, tell him politely that you're not interested and that he's making you uncomfortable by invading your space
it's up to you.0 -
It's not fair to him to go straight to his superiors when you haven't even asked him once to stop (what if he got fired? Is that what you want? I guess it would solve your problem but could haunt him for life) .
People don't think of this. It's crazy because he'd probably be let go for "sexual harassment" too.0
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