unsupported people
bigcrystal123
Posts: 246 Member
Everybody around me is so unsupportive of me losing weight.i only have a few people that supports me like my boyfriend, dad, and grandma and also my brother girlfriend.my mom says im too big to ever wear a binkini again that i should wear a one piece swimsuit. If i feel comfortable wearing a binkini i will wear one.i always have and most likely always will.then today i told my best friend i lost 8 ounces she goes what only 8 ounces.it hurts when people say that stuff to me.like im trying to better myself and they are trying to bring me down cause they are overweight.its not my fault that they feel that way.i just wish people around me was more supportive. I get more support on here then i do in person.
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Replies
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you got 4 people to support you. I'd run with that.0
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It sucks not having a bunch of people to support you, but I've only got 2 in person! Every day I remember I'm doing this for me and not for anyone else and most days that's all it takes. When it doesn't, I come here.
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dont feel bad i have unsupportive people in my life too but you gotta hang on to the ones who are supportive.
YOU CAN fit into a bikini again! hard work and healthy choices pay off!!!0 -
I count at least 4 people you have named who support you. That is more than a lot of people have. Ignore your mom and maybe your best friend was just having a crappy day. 8 ounces is better than a gain, be happy about it. I don't even bother telling anyone about what I'm doing. I don't figure it's much of their business. If they bring it up it should be to say something nice or they can stuff it.0
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It sucks, but don't let anyone get you down! :-)0
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You've got more IRL support than I do! My hubby "says" he supports me, but he thinks the life changes I'm making I won't be able to sustain (like eating more fruits and veggies).0
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It sucks but you do it for you and no one else. You have support on this site!!! Good luck keep going! :happy:0
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In person right now I have one who is supportive - my husband. But there are many here who support me, because they are in the same battle I am. Not everyone is going to be supportive, for whatever reason. The biggest I've seen is they simply don't know how. But that's okay.Do this for you and continue doing well. Talk to the supportive ones who will cheerlead you on to victory.0
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In the end its all about you.
You have more support in your life than most people do. You have to dismiss the negative commentary and just go with the positive and be grateful for the people who are supportive in your life.0 -
The reality is that at some point, you have to rely on yourself and be grateful for the support you get. Relying on outside support is tricky and can be dangerous. It's tricky because external motivators are inconsistent and may not always be there. It's dangerous because when those external motivators are inconsistent or not there, then what?
I'm not saying a support group isn't powerful (and even needed sometimes). What I am saying is that focusing on motivating yourself might be a goal to think about. Feeling support from friends and family is great. But if I depend on it, I'm destined for disappointment.
The beauty of moving away from a dependence on external support has an amazing side effect - it makes external negativity less important and less impactful.0 -
I'm one of those pushy-supportive people. If I have a friend who sees what I'm doing and wants to join in, I immediately start supporting them with the "set up a MFP account!' "Let's go walk!" "Here, I'll let you borrow my hand weights to help get you started!"
I think they hate ever mentioning it to me, but if they're silly enough to tell me they want to start be durned if I'm gonna let them fall behind! 0 -
You've more support than I have. Mind you, I don't tend to share with a lot of people - been around long enough to know many folks either a) don't care, or b) will be jealous which turns into all kinds of crap. Sad statement of human beings, but there you go. I figure I'm only doing this for me, so I'm the only one whose opinion matters. As I say, that's just what I've seen of the people around me (I talk more specifically of co-workers than family - although I don't share with my family either). I figure the people in my family have their own struggles, I don't want to them to think I'm "rubbing their noses" in it by talking of my successes. They have to find their own path, they don't need reminding. That said, I do not have anyone in my family who would ever say mean things to me. They just don't acknowledge anything at all. Which is worse? Having snide comments or never getting acknowledgement at all? I think I'd rather no acknowledgement, but that may be because that's what I'm used to, LOL.0
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Look at it this way, if you don't take care of you, no one will. Just because they don't want to do something about it, doesn't mean you have to follow along...be your own person! You really want to do this!? Then, do so...if you don't do it, no one will. Plus, for people like that, I love it when I get to prove them wrong. Then, I can actually say "What's your excuse!?" People don't care about feelings, that's why I don't worry about them either...if you're doing the very best you can, then keep it up! Do it for yourself, not for anyone else. The most important part to remember is that you have to keep pushing and make that time for you, not anyone else! Keep your head up and don't falter...if you really want it, you'll find a way to accomplish it! :happy:0
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I don't have anyone holding my hand through this. It's up to me, just like it's up to you.0
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I don't have anyone holding my hand through this. It's up to me, just like it's up to you.
BUT I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND. :sad:
Or your butt. Can I hold your butt?
Even though this will ruin the joke, note to mods: I'm just kidding! Sort of..0 -
The reality is that at some point, you have to rely on yourself and be grateful for the support you get. Relying on outside support is tricky and can be dangerous. It's tricky because external motivators are inconsistent and may not always be there. It's dangerous because when those external motivators are inconsistent or not there, then what?
I'm not saying a support group isn't powerful (and even needed sometimes). What I am saying is that focusing on motivating yourself might be a goal to think about. Feeling support from friends and family is great. But if I depend on it, I'm destined for disappointment.
The beauty of moving away from a dependence on external support has an amazing side effect - it makes external negativity less important and less impactful.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
I don't have anyone holding my hand through this. It's up to me, just like it's up to you.
BUT I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND. :sad:
Or your butt. Can I hold your butt?
Even though this will ruin the joke, note to mods: I'm just kidding! Sort of..
You can hold my everything.:flowerforyou:0 -
The thread title is misleading. I thought that, perhaps, there was finally a thread about people that couldn't be helped.
Oh wait. OP's "everyone" is unsupportive. With 4 people who support her. Case in point.0 -
The reality is that at some point, you have to rely on yourself and be grateful for the support you get. Relying on outside support is tricky and can be dangerous. It's tricky because external motivators are inconsistent and may not always be there. It's dangerous because when those external motivators are inconsistent or not there, then what?
I'm not saying a support group isn't powerful (and even needed sometimes). What I am saying is that focusing on motivating yourself might be a goal to think about. Feeling support from friends and family is great. But if I depend on it, I'm destined for disappointment.
The beauty of moving away from a dependence on external support has an amazing side effect - it makes external negativity less important and less impactful.
This!0 -
I don't think I have one real life supporter of my workouts that include heavy squats / deads / bench / powerclearns etc..
They approach fitness their way and I do it my way. You don't need support of others if you know your fitness plan is sound and correct for YOU.0 -
Everybody around me is so unsupportive of me losing weight.i only have a few people that supports me like my boyfriend, dad, and grandma and also my brother girlfriend.my mom says im too big to ever wear a binkini again that i should wear a one piece swimsuit. If i feel comfortable wearing a binkini i will wear one.i always have and most likely always will.then today i told my best friend i lost 8 ounces she goes what only 8 ounces.it hurts when people say that stuff to me.like im trying to better myself and they are trying to bring me down cause they are overweight.its not my fault that they feel that way.i just wish people around me was more supportive. I get more support on here then i do in person.
that's way more than most people have. the entire world isn't going to throw you a parade every time you decide to better yourself. doing something good for yourself should be enough, but if it's not, stop complaining and be appreciative that you have those four people to hold your hand.0 -
Do it anyway. You don't need anyone's permission to take care of yourself, and wear a bikini when you want to. No one in my life has ever actually supported me in losing weight, which hasn't stopped me.0
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It was very motivating for those who didn't support me. Think of their reaction when you are losing the weight and seeing a change no matter how they felt. Its great to have a few supporters instead of none. Keep your chin up and keep and goals in sight:flowerforyou:0
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I think everyone has a few people that are not supportive. They are eigther jelous or insecure about their own weight and don't want to see someone everyday that is bettering themselves. That's why your here on MFP. For the support you need and deserve. You should not be doing this for anyone else anyway so as hard as it may be, ignore them. I ignore my husband every day!!! :laugh:0
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Other than on MFP, I don't tell anyone except for my husband about my weight loss or goals. If my mom lived near me, I'd tell her, but that's it.
It seems to me that you really crave the support, but honestly, most people are not supportive. People are opinionated, judgemental, and sometimes jealous.
Your goals are for you, not them.0 -
I have been doing this for almost 3 years with no support except people on this site. My boyfriend is clueless and everyone one else don't give a damn. You can do it.0
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The only one who supports my endeavors in real life is my spouse. And I mean he is the only one. I never mention fitness, diet, or exercise to anyone other than him because 9 times out of 10, it is met with snark. My mother never fails to make a jab at me, and my sister whines about her weight every time she sees me, usually within 5 minutes. It upsets me sometimes, but it is what it is.
You really need to be your own support system.0 -
You need to be doing this for you and only you. Who gives what others think or say. Take the support from those that you have to support you & kick butt and take names if you want it bad enough...if you exercise and eat well, you will wear what you want again confidently. Set small goals.0
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my family is very supportive of me loosing weight but at the same time they are focused on them selves too. I feel like if I loose a lb they have to let me know that its great but that they lost 1.5 lbs!
Only you know what your truly going through. So its hard to expect 100% support all the time. Thats whats great about MFP 0 -
Everybody around me is so unsupportive of me losing weight.i only have a few people that supports me like my boyfriend, dad, and grandma and also my brother girlfriend.my mom says im too big to ever wear a binkini again that i should wear a one piece swimsuit. If i feel comfortable wearing a binkini i will wear one.i always have and most likely always will.then today i told my best friend i lost 8 ounces she goes what only 8 ounces.it hurts when people say that stuff to me.like im trying to better myself and they are trying to bring me down cause they are overweight.its not my fault that they feel that way.i just wish people around me was more supportive. I get more support on here then i do in person.
Just wait until you actually lose weight and actually feel good about yourself. Then the jealousy comments start rolling in. You do what you do and leave the rest on their own0
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