Machine Gun urge...

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1356

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  • AlbertSchwartz
    AlbertSchwartz Posts: 810
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    na its gone
  • kaiyacali
    kaiyacali Posts: 175
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    along with the gun.... hopefully. :tongue:
  • AlbertSchwartz
    AlbertSchwartz Posts: 810
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    lol, my trigger finger is itchen lol
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    lol, my trigger finger is itchen lol

    :noway: ....don't make me call officer Nick Angel on you mr! LMBO:laugh:
  • AlbertSchwartz
    AlbertSchwartz Posts: 810
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    lol, my trigger finger is itchen lol

    :noway: ....don't make me call officer Nick Angel on you mr! LMBO:laugh:

    lol, who the hell is that??? haha
  • emtink
    emtink Posts: 387 Member
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    wow, i thought i was the only one who stopped believing god cuz i got dumped!! another atheist joins the ranks of the pissed and jaded! woo hoo!

    i also fantisized (waaaay too much) about torturing my ex. i never wanted him dead, just in extreme pain. i was a little messed up back then, but i totally get it. then i got to a place where i didn't care about him. now, like sgt, i feel a little sorry for him. he's shown up on my door step a couple times over the years, but i always refuse to see him. i just don't want to, and i don't think i owe him a damn thing.

    keep playing gta and imagine everyone is your ex. laugh when they die. its cathartic. just don't be the guy who shows up on her doorstep calling gutter slut etc... (like my ex) or maybe play a pretty game like okami or a nonviolent game like katamari damacy.

    your violent friend,
    em:flowerforyou:
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    lol, my trigger finger is itchen lol

    :noway: ....don't make me call officer Nick Angel on you mr! LMBO:laugh:

    lol, who the hell is that??? haha

    you've been warned...lmbo.....(hot fuzz LOL)
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    lol, my trigger finger is itchen lol

    :noway: ....don't make me call officer Nick Angel on you mr! LMBO:laugh:

    lol, who the hell is that??? haha

    Nicholas Angel is the supercop from the super smash hit (maybot super smash, but I thought it was awesome) british comedy 'Hot Fuzz'. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    lol, my trigger finger is itchen lol

    :noway: ....don't make me call officer Nick Angel on you mr! LMBO:laugh:

    lol, who the hell is that??? haha

    Nicholas Angel is the supercop from the super smash hit (maybot super smash, but I thought it was awesome) british comedy 'Hot Fuzz'. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    I haven't gotten to see that yet, but it was done by the same people who did Shawn of the Dead right??
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    na its gone


    I had a crisis of faith also. But eventually I realized that either it could kill my desire to be like Christ or sharpen it. I chose sharpen and allowed God to carry me through the storm. Al, he totally did also. Don't let anyone tell you that because your wife was a harpy, God loves you any less. You didn't sign up for this nightmare any more than I did. God is still there Albert, and he always will be. She's the one to blame for this, not him. He wants to take you and comfort you, and carry you too. I promise, if you will let him, things will get better. I couldn't have made it without him.

    As far as having good times, then kinda crashing, it happens. I would have good weeks and things would seem wonderful, then I would hear from her, or see one of her friends and all the crap would come flooding back. 5 months is still very very fresh from this.

    I guess my only realy advice is that you just take it a day at a time. Realize that the pain does go away, and eventually you *will* be able to laugh and go through a day without thinking about her. Eventually, you will be able to see her and not be sick at your stomach, or even want to 'machine gun' her. It will happen dude, it just takes time (stupid crappy time taking its....time....:mad: ). Just concentrate on making yourself better than you ever were, make her your motivation to be a better person, heal the breaks before you jump into another relationship (a mistake I made early on) and become a more complete person.

    I eventually came to a place where I had to stop tearing myself apart make the decison to rebuild myself instead. I know it feels better to wrap yourself in the hate, but I promise you that only leads to darkness. You're a better person than her Albert, now it's time to prove it.

    You're in my prayers buddy,

    -J
  • damselfly25
    damselfly25 Posts: 59
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    When I broke up with my last boyfriend (I'm now married to the guy who followed) I would wake up in the morning and have a brief moment of "I'm ok...I can breath" and then it would hit me that I was alone and that he left me...he actually moved away. And I was angry and sad and still loved him and missed his presence. It was almost as if he died. But it just proved how passionate I was about him. A friend of mine told me that passion like that, that involve all the extremes, can't last long because it's so intense it burns itself up. Now, don't get me wrong I'm passionate about my husband but it's more of an even passion that's shared...and doesn't involve machine guns.

    This will come for you...eventually, but now you have give yourself time to mourn the "death". That's my 2 cents.

    63986.png
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
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    I had a crisis of faith also. But eventually I realized that either it could kill my desire to be like Christ or sharpen it. I chose sharpen and allowed God to carry me through the storm. Al, he totally did also. Don't let anyone tell you that because your wife was a harpy, God loves you any less. You didn't sign up for this nightmare any more than I did. God is still there Albert, and he always will be. She's the one to blame for this, not him. He wants to take you and comfort you, and carry you too. I promise, if you will let him, things will get better. I couldn't have made it without him.

    As far as having good times, then kinda crashing, it happens. I would have good weeks and things would seem wonderful, then I would hear from her, or see one of her friends and all the crap would come flooding back. 5 months is still very very fresh from this.

    I guess my only realy advice is that you just take it a day at a time. Realize that the pain does go away, and eventually you *will* be able to laugh and go through a day without thinking about her. Eventually, you will be able to see her and not be sick at your stomach, or even want to 'machine gun' her. It will happen dude, it just takes time (stupid crappy time taking its....time....:mad: ). Just concentrate on making yourself better than you ever were, make her your motivation to be a better person, heal the breaks before you jump into another relationship (a mistake I made early on) and become a more complete person.

    I eventually came to a place where I had to stop tearing myself apart make the decison to rebuild myself instead. I know it feels better to wrap yourself in the hate, but I promise you that only leads to darkness. You're a better person than her Albert, now it's time to prove it.

    You're in my prayers buddy,

    -J

    Well, said, J! God doesn't bring us suffering but God will bring us through it!
  • AlbertSchwartz
    AlbertSchwartz Posts: 810
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    I hated god after the split then left all that behind. Atheist!

    Thanks for all the support tho guys, i really means alot, I know i'm not alone and it's just gonna take time and i think i'm just at one of the lows on the road to recovery. But its nice that i can share my troubles with you guys and the post didn't end up at the bottom of the forum lol.

    I did use the negative energy in the gym and on my little 2 mile run. And i'm feeling better for it, feel like i've had a good cardio workout. I did 1080 cals in the gym and 388 on my run.

    Its 1:15 am here so i'm gonna bed, thanks again for all your thought and comments. Tomorrow is a new day! and i know regardless of my mood or machine guns urges lol, i grow stronger everyday.

    Here's to all you guys :drinker: :drinker:

    And btw i might be in NYC at the end of august if anyone is about and no i want have any guns lol

    Al :drinker:
  • insearchofskinny
    insearchofskinny Posts: 80
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    gosh... hey.. cut that out... it's giving me the he-be-jee-bees :sad:
  • eHarris
    eHarris Posts: 160
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    I had a crisis of faith also. But eventually I realized that either it could kill my desire to be like Christ or sharpen it. I chose sharpen and allowed God to carry me through the storm. Al, he totally did also. Don't let anyone tell you that because your wife was a harpy, God loves you any less. You didn't sign up for this nightmare any more than I did. God is still there Albert, and he always will be. She's the one to blame for this, not him. He wants to take you and comfort you, and carry you too. I promise, if you will let him, things will get better. I couldn't have made it without him.

    As far as having good times, then kinda crashing, it happens. I would have good weeks and things would seem wonderful, then I would hear from her, or see one of her friends and all the crap would come flooding back. 5 months is still very very fresh from this.

    I guess my only realy advice is that you just take it a day at a time. Realize that the pain does go away, and eventually you *will* be able to laugh and go through a day without thinking about her. Eventually, you will be able to see her and not be sick at your stomach, or even want to 'machine gun' her. It will happen dude, it just takes time (stupid crappy time taking its....time....:mad: ). Just concentrate on making yourself better than you ever were, make her your motivation to be a better person, heal the breaks before you jump into another relationship (a mistake I made early on) and become a more complete person.

    I eventually came to a place where I had to stop tearing myself apart make the decison to rebuild myself instead. I know it feels better to wrap yourself in the hate, but I promise you that only leads to darkness. You're a better person than her Albert, now it's time to prove it.

    You're in my prayers buddy,

    -J

    Well, said, J! God doesn't bring us suffering but God will bring us through it!

    Amen! Manda you're one lucky girl. :smooched:
  • stschulz
    stschulz Posts: 340
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    Buddy,

    a lot has been said and I am not sure I can add anything new to that. But my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you will find strength in your faith again. That is the only thing that can really help you.

    I would suggest you use that energy in the gym, it helps in more than one way and apperently you do that already. Try to do things that get your mind off that issue. Not something like cinema where you at any time can fall back in your thoughts. But gym. Things like that.

    Since you say you still love her, you may have to come to terms with the fact that she does not love you anymore nor does she deserve your love. You are at the moment laying the foundation to a great new start. Focus on that. You are young and have your whole live in front of you!

    Something good eill come out of this.
  • AlbertSchwartz
    AlbertSchwartz Posts: 810
    Options
    Buddy,

    a lot has been said and I am not sure I can add anything new to that. But my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you will find strength in your faith again. That is the only thing that can really help you.

    I would suggest you use that energy in the gym, it helps in more than one way and apperently you do that already. Try to do things that get your mind off that issue. Not something like cinema where you at any time can fall back in your thoughts. But gym. Things like that.

    Since you say you still love her, you may have to come to terms with the fact that she does not love you anymore nor does she deserve your love. You are at the moment laying the foundation to a great new start. Focus on that. You are young and have your whole live in front of you!

    Something good eill come out of this.

    Yeah mate, I already know she doesn't love me and is probably living with this other bloke.

    I don't know if things did change whether i could take her back, I'd like to think i tell her where to go!, but when i was psychoanalyzing myself i realised that the deep hate i feel towards her is because i still have feelings for her. I;ve spoken to people who have gone through something like this and some recon i'll always hold a torch for her, i'll move on but still hold a torch.

    I think i'm already seeing good, I think about 6 weeks ago i realised that i when she broke me i had to rebuild and i felt at that point i'd built myself up to beyond where i was before... Thats when i adopted my theme song... Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger lol... And of course its got me to make me the centre of attention and look after myself for a change and this has brought on my new healthier life style
    lost 30 lbs so far woohoo. I also think that because i have been feeling better i've stopped distancing myself from thoughts of her and with recent contact i'm feeling a bit down again. The anger has not left me and i'm not sure if it will ever...

    Why do i hate her family aswell tho? Strange
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    Amen! Manda you're one lucky girl. :smooched:

    I know... *happy sigh* :blushing:
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    Buddy,

    a lot has been said and I am not sure I can add anything new to that. But my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you will find strength in your faith again. That is the only thing that can really help you.

    I would suggest you use that energy in the gym, it helps in more than one way and apperently you do that already. Try to do things that get your mind off that issue. Not something like cinema where you at any time can fall back in your thoughts. But gym. Things like that.

    Since you say you still love her, you may have to come to terms with the fact that she does not love you anymore nor does she deserve your love. You are at the moment laying the foundation to a great new start. Focus on that. You are young and have your whole live in front of you!

    Something good eill come out of this.

    Yeah mate, I already know she doesn't love me and is probably living with this other bloke.

    I don't know if things did change whether i could take her back, I'd like to think i tell her where to go!, but when i was psychoanalyzing myself i realised that the deep hate i feel towards her is because i still have feelings for her. I;ve spoken to people who have gone through something like this and some recon i'll always hold a torch for her, i'll move on but still hold a torch.

    I think i'm already seeing good, I think about 6 weeks ago i realised that i when she broke me i had to rebuild and i felt at that point i'd built myself up to beyond where i was before... Thats when i adopted my theme song... Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger lol... And of course its got me to make me the centre of attention and look after myself for a change and this has brought on my new healthier life style
    lost 30 lbs so far woohoo. I also think that because i have been feeling better i've stopped distancing myself from thoughts of her and with recent contact i'm feeling a bit down again. The anger has not left me and i'm not sure if it will ever...

    Why do i hate her family aswell tho? Strange

    um...the problem may be the self psychoanalyzing....just a thought hon! lmbo

    hating the family could be related to her being part of it....and them creating such a beast.....just another thought from you're buddy Ali LMBO....

    I like the "focus on you" part.....that's a big step in the right direction!!!

    and the torch thing....ya that depends....my first real love has my torch....he's who I compare everyone and everything too.....he was amazing....so I think that's why I keep him in that special place....I think...THINK....when you meet someone amazing her torch will die out somewhat......here's hoping honey!

    hugs!
    Ali
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Yeah mate, I already know she doesn't love me and is probably living with this other bloke.

    I don't know if things did change whether i could take her back, I'd like to think i tell her where to go!, but when i was psychoanalyzing myself i realised that the deep hate i feel towards her is because i still have feelings for her. I;ve spoken to people who have gone through something like this and some recon i'll always hold a torch for her, i'll move on but still hold a torch.

    I think i'm already seeing good, I think about 6 weeks ago i realised that i when she broke me i had to rebuild and i felt at that point i'd built myself up to beyond where i was before... Thats when i adopted my theme song... Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger lol... And of course its got me to make me the centre of attention and look after myself for a change and this has brought on my new healthier life style
    lost 30 lbs so far woohoo. I also think that because i have been feeling better i've stopped distancing myself from thoughts of her and with recent contact i'm feeling a bit down again. The anger has not left me and i'm not sure if it will ever...

    Why do i hate her family aswell tho? Strange

    Anger's not a emotion that will just leave you, it's something you have to let go.

    You're completely justified in feeling angry, hurt & depressed, but don't let those emotions change you into someone you don't want to be. :smile:

    And you may forsake the Lord , but He won't forsake you. :flowerforyou:

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