Breaking up is hard to do

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  • jadeblack81
    jadeblack81 Posts: 27 Member
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    Oh my gosh. You guys are awesome! Some of your stories made me laugh, some made me sad, but they all made my day a little better. Thanks for sharing!!! salcha76~ "just keep swimming" became a saying at work during a stressful time. Maybe this will be my mantra when I want to fall apart...
  • JAllen32
    JAllen32 Posts: 991 Member
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    IN LOVE?!?! Holy *kitten*. And how much younger than him is she? So now that they have established that they are in love, are they going to have some cyber wedding? And create little avitar babies? Sounds like a healthy relationship. I just want to drive over there and punch him in his hairy little face. >:-(

    And this is one of the reasons I miss you so much!!! She's 23...and ugly!
    Awww.....Ditto babe. You should take the opportunity to come back to town! :-P

    I hope you are doing better.
  • jennyd824
    jennyd824 Posts: 15
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    I'm so sorry you're going through that. I'm also in a similar situation, going through a divorce after a 7 year relationship, and I'm using MFP as my fuel. There's so much support on here, you're not in this alone! Focus on yourself, don't let him get you down, and know in your heart that you're going to be the one that's so much better off in the end! You're a strong person, and once you reach your goals, imagine how much stronger you're going to feel!!! Feel free to add me if you would like :)
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
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    Give it time. Pretty soon it will be like that person never existed.
  • simplycorey
    simplycorey Posts: 721 Member
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    My husband left me about 2 months ago and I have been using my workouts as a way to get through it. They help with the stress and make me feel better overall. Looking better makes me feel better too. ;)

    I know it's hard and it will take time but you will get through it. He's a dumbass and probably didn't deserve you to begin with.
  • alsuna
    alsuna Posts: 65 Member
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    My bf of 7 years left me because "he is even more interested in his boots, than the woman by his side" he wrote in his break-up email(!). I'm pretty sure he broke up with me, because he thought he can do better. 5 month after the break up, I lost 30 pounds, and look better than ever. He is a mess, and trying to find his way back to my life. Not in a million years!!! It turned out, I'm the one who can easily do better. Irony at its best!

    If you take your anger and channel it into working out, like I did, you will be so much happier and wiser in 5 month. And the *kitten* ex of yours will be still the same infantile immature game addict.
  • knitwit0704
    knitwit0704 Posts: 376
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    It's been about six months since this guy left me for another girl, but I still haven't gotten over it. So I'm in with you.

    Edit: Feel free to friend or message me.

    I didn't mean to say six months. I meant about a year. It's been six months since something else happened, and I was confused. Sorry!
  • JessHealthKick
    JessHealthKick Posts: 800 Member
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    Sorry to hear about this :( I remember when I had my heart truly, painfully broken. I had previously been in a 3year relationship which was great but not right, then after splitting up I met someone amazing... in only 2 months he had the power to 'break' me. It took me a good year to get over him, but we dated a little after a year and after he was a bit of a *kitten* I realised; I am worth so much more. I couldn't care less now.

    These things will take a lot of time. Focus on you, let this time be for YOU and really defining yourself, your health, who you want to be. Stay with family/friends if you can for support, and don't be afraid to reach out. It isn't possible to rationalise things right now (for example, the fact that he left you for someone else is a really horrible thing to do) and you are still very in love with him, but in time you will be able to step back and look at the situation and realise that, in the end, you can be an amazing person without him; without anyone.

    As other posters said, in time you will realise that it doesn't matter to you anymore. Please trust us, the time will come.
  • Quest529
    Quest529 Posts: 103 Member
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    I was engaged to a guy, we had been together for four years, and he left me for his best friend's sister. They were apparently expecting.

    His loss. He received everything he had ever given to me shredded and smashed in a box on his parent's back porch (yes, the loser still lived at home).

    Ironically, as I was smashing and shredding, my roommate at the time called one of my guy friends (who was also an RA at the college) to come and watch me...I guess I had a wild look in my eyes or something lol. I ended up marrying him.

    The loser? Turns out the girl lied to him. No baby. As far as I know, he still doesn't have a job and is most likely bumming of friends and family.


    Remember, a guy can break up with you, but can never truely break you unless you let him.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
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    My ex boyfriend was the reason I am in the position I'm in now. Well, ok, it's because I binge, but it's certainly related.

    When I met my ex I was a size 12 (UK), which at 5"10 is a perfectly healthy size, and every time we had an argument he'd call me all sorts of names related to my weight. I ate because I was miserable, so I gained weight, and he laughed at me more. It was a vicious circle.

    I eventually left him and have been with a wonderful guy for 6 years now, but I still haven't forgotten his words, I still suffer badly with confidence and I still binge and then mentally berate myself for it, all be it nowhere near as bad as I did. Before I met him I had a healthy relationship with food.

    About a year ago he came back to the UK for a visit and told me in front of a lot of people that the only reason my current partner was still with me is because I must sit on him so he cant get away. I've gained about 4 stone since I split with him, and I hated myself for giving him more fuel.

    The point of me telling you this is because in x amount of years, you don't want to be in my position where you suddenly have 100lb+ to lose because you let a guy get to you like that. Imagine walking past him in the street in a couple of years time and you look fit and slim and healthy. You deserve better.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    I've been there. I'm sorry you're there now. It hurts, but it will get better.

    Use the breakup as motivation to better yourself physically, mentally and spiritually. My last breakup was horrible, but it was the kick in the *kitten* I needed to get in shape, kick my career up a notch and come to terms with what I really want and need in a relationship.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,541 Member
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    Bet it's gonna end up being another guy at the other end.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
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    My hurt/frustration/anger from my break up is my fuel.

    Looking at myself in the mirror, banging out some tunes and lifting like a boss helps me stay focussed on what is important to me.

    I am WORTH IT. And so are you :flowerforyou:
  • kittenful
    kittenful Posts: 318 Member
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    Use that anger, love. Try to channel it into productivity. I like to let Jillian Michaels kick my butt when I'm angry. It's a great way to vent the frustration, it keeps me on task, and feels GREAT when I'm done.
  • jessilyn76
    jessilyn76 Posts: 532 Member
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    The "break up diet" has always worked wonders for me!!! I have always been my slimmest after breakups. Use it as fuel. A big *kitten* YOU to your do*che bag ex!!!!
  • janehen12
    janehen12 Posts: 162 Member
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    6 weeks later and only just considering getting back on it. 3 years, and he decided he didn't want us to live together cos he didn't want to pay bills anymore.
    Although the first thing I did after we broke up was sign up to the gym, and yes I've been since haha.
    Anyone feel free to add/message me.

    Sending loads of hugs to everyone on here x
  • heartworth9
    heartworth9 Posts: 51 Member
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    Honor your feelings by feeling them. :sad: :angry: :ohwell:

    Then begin to look around you and see that there are plenty of men out there. :blushing:

    Then when you are done, then declare the word "NEXT" :wink:

    :flowerforyou: Flowers to brighten your day!

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