Have you tried NOT telling everyone you're on a diet?

don't ask...don't tell.

I told most of my "inner circle". It is very obvious now, so it's not like it was a secret. I also told them because we are booze hounds, and I needed an excuse on why I was cutting down.

I've only had positive experiences from telling people. In fact I think I have stayed relatively consistent because of support from friends. Of course there is built in accountability too - which is something that motivates me.

The only annoying thing is some people get offended when they say "Oh we should walk together" and I am like :indifferent: :indifferent:

I already have a walking partner...my ipod.

When I first started having real success, I made the mistake of telling people what I was doing and talking about it way too much. It turns out that me talking about it made other people uncomfortable, and I wish I hadn't talked about it so much. I got the "you're already skinny enough" (mom) and the "if you think you need to lose weight, what must you thing I need to do?" (sister) comments from my family. Friends teased me about my arms becoming "toothpicks" etc., etc.

Fast forward a couple of years and me not talking about what I am doing to anyone, and the same person who told me I was skinny enough recently told me that I'm looking really fit and asked me what she should be doing (mom). The other person who is more overweight and got upset about me talking about it constantly has been silently losing and is looking better each time I see her (sister). And the friend who told me I had toothpick arms recently told me I needed to put a pirate temporary tattoo on my "gun" when we went out because she liked how they're looking. These are all comments from people pretty close to me -- family and the wife of a life-long friend.

When you don't talk about it, and people see it, the way you're treated by the exact same people is completely different.

I don't really tell people, my immediate family knows as well as a couple of my close friends. But it's definitely not something I will openly talk about, especially not wanting to draw attention to myself. For me it's quite a personal thing and I'm okay with the support I get from the few who do know

I outed myself on Facebook at the start of my diet on Monday. I'm not going to post pictures of myself though. The next time I'll be seeing family/friends en masse will be September. I'm hoping to see them and have a nice weightloss impact

I only told my closest friends and family in the beginning, and as I lost more, people started noticing. When they asked, that's when I would say "Yeah, I'm dieting". Once I lost the first 25 pounds (I lost more than my ticker says), I got on twitter and publicly announced how much I had lost. I was so happy, I didn't care who knew.

I feel like many people feel almost threatened by the idea of someone around them dieting if they're sitting around saying 'i want a flat stomach but can't stop eating badly!' because someone elses success further highlights what they see in themselves as 'failure'. I think this is probably the crux of the issue with some of these 'saboteurs' as i'm sure they've tried and failed to eat healthier again and again, but they feel more comfortable and less pressured to lose weight if you give up.

Personally when i'm eating healthier, the only people i actively tell are my family and, since eating healthier, if someone does decide to mention their eating habits, some simply awaiting praise (as to which i roll my eyes internally) I actively support them and encourage them as I'd hope someone would respond to me!

. When potential saboteurs offer me junk, I politely refuse, often qualifying my "pickiness" with the information that I'd overindulged the day before or something. It goes a little something like this.

"Wow, thanks! But I really couldn't possibly eat that today. You see, yesterday I caved into my cravings and ate a Snickers sandwich..."
"Ugh. That sounds awful."
"Oh, no, it was rather nice... Two full size Snickers bars with a layer of Nutella in the middle. Mmm... But you see, it means I really shouldn't have that slice of pizza you're offering me. Thanks though. "
It's a win win! They get to go away feeling smug that I've clearly already fallen off the fitness train, and I get to avoid snacks without coming across as slightly holier than thou.

Love this!!! Not that I have to justify my food choices to anyone.

I haven't told people that I am trying to lose weight. I started out making better food choices and trying out running. I didn't tell anyone I was trying out running till I was going okay at it. I didn't know if I was going to stick at it - to the point where I didn't even buy running shoes, just in case I quit.

I tell my Dad and my two best friends when I weigh myself and I have gotten lighter and I call my Dad excitedly when I reach a new running milestone

Hey Chic, probably the best advice I've been given after all it does only affect me and I've noticed people who are either really thin or yoyo dieters say "go on, one won't hurt" I too am guilty of that (being the yoyo type),

Yup. Much better this time around than ever before, too. Makes the journey mine.

I tried not telling people this time because ive tried all their diets that have been successful for them but not me, plus their idea of motivation is ringing or jumping on me on facebook if i even LIKE a page with a lush cupcake 'you cant eat that your on a diet', shout at me down a street in town, 'i hope your not gonna eat that or drink that your on a diet! ' .. yea they try to control me if i do their diets and tell the world.

So this time im telling the world and not telling them haha and for once my diets working :bigsmile:

I don't talk about it. Now as I am 50 pounds down, people can see the difference. When they ask, I usually just shrug it off because I don't want to be judged on what I'm doing. People ALWAYS judge - whether self-satisfied smugness by forever thin people, sabotage by those who define their own image by your fatness, or even people who try to "help" by constantly commenting about your habits.

It's much easier to shrug it off.
- When they ask how much I've lost, I pretend to guess maybe like 10 pounds, as if I don't even know.
- When they ask how I did it, I say I'm lifting weights from time to time and occasionally running. I NEVER mention the food part.
- When they say you look so healthy, I say the new job is much less stress.

I've found this approach is so much easier because my apparent lack of interest shuts down the topic and we can move on to discussing books, movies, politics, jobs, loved ones and life's other pleasures. Otherwise, it seems that anytime someone at a dinner party is on a diet, it turns into a Top Chef like critique of the dieter's plate and exercise plan with each person talking about how THEY would do it differently. The poor dieter sits there miserable as a bug under a microscope.

Whenever I need a narcissistic reinforcement of my choices, my MFP friends are happy to oblige.