Relationships

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24

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  • NathanFronk
    NathanFronk Posts: 137 Member
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    You never stop trying. You don't ever completely move on.

    At some point though, you break up.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    When the relationship takes from your life instead of adding to or enriching it.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
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    Dating. . .when you or the other person exhibits an inability to compromise.

    Married. . .only when all options to fix/improve/repair the marriage have been utterly, thoroughly and completely exhausted.
    Or, when you spouse kicks you to the curb. . .for a younger version. . .my story. :-(
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Hmmm, when you reach the point where seeking relationship advice on the Internet seems like a good idea, it's time to quit trying and move on.

    Call me crazy or old-fashioned, but I just think if you're both adults, you should behave like it, and TALK TO EACH OTHER. When you've lost the willingness to do that, do yourselves a favor and let go.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    Somewhere between point C and point D.
  • italian_bella_xo
    italian_bella_xo Posts: 147
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    When I was married....my best friend at the time told me:

    When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired...you will leave!

    I was in an abusive relationship. I remember all these women getting killed here by their men. I still remember my wake up moment. He had hit me and I was lying on the floor. We were in the process of packing and moving. I looked up and saw a bed rail. Thought OMG if he would hit me with that I would be dead.

    At that moment I said this SOB is NOT killing me. So I took my baby and I left. NEVER LOOKED BACK!

    oh my goodness! sorry to hear that. if you are physically and even emotionally abused its time. but its easier said than done. but in your case i would of took my child as well and never looked back.
  • MsStang02
    MsStang02 Posts: 147 Member
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    When you have the same conversation over and over again and nothing ever changes. When you are the one trying and the other person does whatever they want not caring about your feelings or needs. When you realize you have more fun by yourself than you do with that person as it is less stress and aggravation.
    Lots of ways to tell. However, you need to be able to open your eyes and see it.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    I have been in relationships I would think were worth fighting for, well, love is not a war, we should not have to fight for it.

    I am in a wonderful relationship now and I have never once asked myself that question and it is not hard, not saying that we do not have tough times, but knowing we love each other and want to be together, well that is not an issue. It works and we are happy way more than we are not happy. We compromise and are willing to do so.

    I think so often we get this hair up our crawl that we have to prove that we can change someone or we are scared that if we let them go, they will love someone else. Then one day we wake up in our late 40s and realize we screwed up.

    Dont waste the pretty. There are men out there that do treat us like a princess. We just have to be willing to find the nice guy that we do not feel we have to "save" or change. Falling in love is rather easy, we do it every day, whether it be with a puppy, a new lipstick color or pair of jeans. It is loving yourself enough to stand up and go get what you want that is most important.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteous
    Sublimely_Self_Righteous Posts: 429
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    Now.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    At what point do you stop trying, and move on?

    When my bf finally leaves his wife.
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
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    When we've had more than two serious conversations about whatever the issue is and still nothing has changed. At that point, it's never gonna.

    People stay in relationships that make them unhappy because they fear change. Life is too short for that, it really is.

    Agree. I'm going through a divorce right now for exactly the reasons above.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
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    When you're unhappy.
  • m76b
    m76b Posts: 1,498 Member
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    When you're unhappy.

    THIS
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    After 1.64 days without sex.
  • minijag06
    minijag06 Posts: 70
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    If he is a liar and a cheat, let him go.
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
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    When I was married....my best friend at the time told me:

    When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired...you will leave!

    I was in an abusive relationship. I remember all these women getting killed here by their men. I still remember my wake up moment. He had hit me and I was lying on the floor. We were in the process of packing and moving. I looked up and saw a bed rail. Thought OMG if he would hit me with that I would be dead.

    At that moment I said this SOB is NOT killing me. So I took my baby and I left. NEVER LOOKED BACK!


    Same thing happened to me and I never looked back.
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
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    when i'm tired, exhausted, and have nothing left to give.

    smarter people would leave earlier than that, but that is my experience. i leave when the fights don't even upset me anymore, because they're normal, because the frustration, doubt, broken trust, is all normal.
  • SarahBeth0625
    SarahBeth0625 Posts: 685 Member
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    If you don't have kids with this man and you have doubts, get out. It's so much easier to do so before having kids.

    If you already have kids, then seek counseling if it's something you both are committed to fixing.

    If it's something like abuse (physical or verbal), then talk to a professional who can guide you out safely, step-by-step.

    If it's something you can fix and you love each other, try couples counseling.
  • lripson28
    lripson28 Posts: 213 Member
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    When you feel the need to ask that question?
    Seriously it all depends on the situation, what's not working and if you think the issues are fixable or they will always be a road block.

    This. If you even consider whether or not you are truly happy, I think that is when it could be time to call it quits.
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    2 things need to be happening to continue working on a relationship that makes you unhappy:

    1. COMMUNICATION. are the two of you communicating about the emotional needs that are currently lacking for each of you in the relationship?

    2. ACTION. assuming the two of you have shared what is bothering each other, are each of you making efforts to satisfy the emotional needs of the other party that were not being met. It takes both of you to put in the work. If only one of you is putting in the work, its time to move on.

    the amount of time that you give to the communication/action paradigm depends on whether you are unmarried, married without kids, or married with kids.... I think, as you move along that spectrum, you give things a little more time and more effort to see if you can reach a resolution. However, I can tell you from personal experience as someone who did not want to get divorced and break up my family, there does come a time when you get tired of being the only one trying to meet the other's emotional needs. BUT, if you're not married and do not have kids, the saying "life is too short" applies. Give communication/action some time, but move on once it becomes clear that the other person isn't trying OR you don't have the desire to continue trying.

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