Surviving when you go back home

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taitmamly
taitmamly Posts: 19
in Motivation and Support
So here's a good one: How do you keep to a well balanced diet when you back to your parents for a few days? Mine are always eating really high fat, high carb food and there's no alternative and my mam just get insulted if you point out a healthier option so how do I have a good diet when I visit home without insulting the parents? Especially when whenever I go home, I gain an average of 3lb per 4 days?

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  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
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    My mom is the same way. Thankfully my dad and stepmom eat healthy. It's also the same for family parties. Always pizza, maybe a salad and cake. ALWAYS. My mom will buy me potato chips, popcorn, little dessert things like pudding snacks...all kinds of crap I can't eat. I've explained to her time and time again that I'm trying to lose weight. Once I even said "This is why I can't move back home!" I felt bad saying it but it's true! Do your parents make any side dishes that would allow you to choose a healthier option? For example if they serve a salad with dinner just keep taking more salad than the other stuff. That's usually what I do. I totally understand that they get offended. My mom does too so I'll just try to re-direct her when she does. I'll say "No thank you. So how was your week?" Haha...I feel even worse if she makes something special either just for me or for my brother and I...like an entire pie...and then tell us to take it home! It makes me sad :frown:
  • iquiltoo
    iquiltoo Posts: 246 Member
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    Don't point out healthier options, they probably are aware. Just eat whatever they provide and keep within your calorie goal. A couple of days of higher carb and fat won't hurt you, it's the amount you eat of it that's not good and that's within your control even if the what you eat is not. Unless Mum dishes up your plate, in which case then you will have to leave some on your plate and let her know that she gave you too much. My friend's mum always said if mum dished it and you couldn't eat it all that was fine as she didn't know how hungry you were, but if you dished it up yourself, you would be eating it all! Good luck!
  • splashtree
    splashtree Posts: 9
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    I would eat everything i wanted,until i blew my gut,so lasagna,steak, puodding,everything few days of great ofood and are welcome and also rest from training...food friends lying on the couch,pub beer,yeah.all of it not a fanatic of the limited cakories...
  • Kellbellftw
    Kellbellftw Posts: 89 Member
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    If there is absolutely nothing else you can eat but the bad food, just eat small portions! I learned a while ago how to have a very polite yet stern "no thank you" response to food being offered to me. I was at my mother's last weekend, and she tried to feed me cinnamon buns with icing galore! I said "no thank you, but I would have a cup of coffee if you have some made" and that seem to make her happy enough. Just be sure to log whatever you eat, you have to be aware of all youre taking in, and when you're close to your limit (or how much you want to spend eating at your parent's that day) politely decline. She's your mom, she should understand what your diet means to you :)
  • pittbullgirl
    pittbullgirl Posts: 341 Member
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    1) I would bring something healthy I made myself as a start. Walk in all excited about this new dish you created and cant wait for everyone to try it :) I would also offer to "help" cook so you can scan packages while you are there and decide how much and what you can eat within you goals.
    2 ) Keep healthy snacks in the car or buy some while your there.
    3) Stay active- you burn more and wont feel "guilty" about eating extra stuff. Maybe a family walk at the end of the day?

    Good luck!
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    it's very unlikely that 3lb gained in 4 days is fat, it sounds like your glycogen stores are refilling. Glycogen is stored with water, so you see big gains on the scale from it, but actually it's a good thing, and it's not fat. Also, if the food is higher in sodium, that too will cause water weight gain too. The amount of fat you can gain in 4 days is really very little.

    If you don't go home that often, then I really wouldn't worry about it too much, just eat sensible sized portions of everything, and try to be active and do some kind of exercise while you're there, and really don't worry about the weight gain. Eat low sodium foods and drink plenty of water for a couple of days after you get back, that should get rid of the sodium water weight gains, and the excess sodium from your system. The glycogen/water gains are a good thing and will help keep your energy levels up, so really don't worry about those. Focus on inch measurements and how your clothes fit rather than scale weight, as losing inches is a sure sign you're losing fat, while scale weight can be all kinds of things.
  • Athena53
    Athena53 Posts: 717 Member
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    Can you offer to prepare something that's healthy to add to the dinner, like a salad or green vegetables? That would give you something to fill out your plate when you take small servings of the heavy stuff.

    I'm fortunate- my parents eat healthy and we've never been given guilt trips for not eating something, so I've never had to deal with the "you're not eating this and I made it for you so you're rejecting me" line.

    In the end, you're an independent adult. You just have to keep telling them, "yes, I love your food but I just didn't like what it did to my body and I don't (CAN'T) eat that way anymore."
  • taitmamly
    taitmamly Posts: 19
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    um not really I'm afraid. Mam dishes up huge amounts of food and we're expected to eat everything on the plate or she thinks we don't like it and gets upset. Thankfully I've been asked to make the dinner tonight although she's a bit sceptical of how much food I've brought home for tonight but we'll see. My mam doesn't like my cooking really, but she'll eat it because my dad has asked for it, although she has shot down my low-carb strawberry and banana crepes in favour of a cream trifle :ohwell:

    Also, neandermagnon, the doctor has asked me to stick to a low salt diet (funny ears lol) so unless it's simply the difference between my idea of low salt and her idea of low salt sodium shouldn't really be an issue. I know it's not really harmful in the short run, but the whole reason I gained weight in the first place was because I grew up here. I've lost well over six stone since moving into my own house just simply because my portion control is better and I'm not having a love affair with olive oil lol!

    I've completely weirded them out today by doing 40 minutes of pop pilates today and just said it's what I do every day! Exercise - check!

    I think I'm just going to have to have really low-cal foods during the day (when I can control my own food intake) and just do the best I can with the evening meal, but it'd be so much easier if she'd just eat better! Last night she gave us a mushroom pasta with Gorgonzola sauce. She used 100lb of the stuff per person!
  • Cese27
    Cese27 Posts: 626 Member
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    Well you are an adult so only you can decide what you put in you're mouth sadly if this upsets your ma so be it,I had this issue in the past and whilst I can see its not an easy thing to do,my mindset would not allow me to let it slide so since then when I'm back at my folks house ill sort out my own food as I don't expect them to buy stuff that they won't eat.end of the day you decide what you do
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    meh, i say lie. tell her your doc told you that some embarrassing toilet issues were caused by eating too much fat/oil, that you have an unusually sensitive gut all of a sudden, and that if they want to enjoy your company (rather than have you locked in the bathroom the whole time) you'll have to pass up on all the stuff you really would rather enjoy. boohoo etc.
  • tomcornhole
    tomcornhole Posts: 1,084 Member
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    I run into this. I bring protein shakes and a couple boxes of Quest bars. I'll eat a little of their food to keep them off my back and then supplement with the shakes and bars. I do this on business travel, too. Not ideal but better than nuking over a year's worth of work.
  • Athena53
    Athena53 Posts: 717 Member
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    Mam dishes up huge amounts of food and we're expected to eat everything on the plate or she thinks we don't like it and gets upset. <snip>
    I think I'm just going to have to have really low-cal foods during the day (when I can control my own food intake) and just do the best I can with the evening meal, but it'd be so much easier if she'd just eat better! Last night she gave us a mushroom pasta with Gorgonzola sauce. She used 100lb of the stuff per person!

    Tell her in advance that you want only a little of something, or that you'd like to serve yourself. If she proceeds to serve more than you wanted, well you told her you weren't going to eat that much. So, don't. Maybe she'll learn to serve you smaller portions.

    What I see here is people-pleasing behavior, to your own detriment. At 60, I'm still fighting the urge towards people-pleasing behavior, although not in the food area. I would have hoped that your mother could see the good results of your healthy eating and exercise and support you, but if she won't, you need to stand up for yourself, firmly and lovingly.
  • Coyoteldy
    Coyoteldy Posts: 219 Member
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    Its difficult when going to different places, especially when its family and food is offered in love. My Mom ALWAYS has little snacks she knows I love ( despite the diet and exercise she knows I am doing). I see no reason to upset them. Eat smaller portions, get out of the house and go walking ( I either walk or bring my bike to my Moms) so you can increase your exercise a bit to balance the less than healthy choices. What I am trying to say is manage your portions and enjoy your time with family... its a short trip.. and I am sure they love having you...

    ( I just don't make some stuff an issue when I visit.. this is one of them)
    Have fun!
  • taitmamly
    taitmamly Posts: 19
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    meh, i say lie. tell her your doc told you that some embarrassing toilet issues were caused by eating too much fat/oil, that you have an unusually sensitive gut all of a sudden, and that if they want to enjoy your company (rather than have you locked in the bathroom the whole time) you'll have to pass up on all the stuff you really would rather enjoy. boohoo etc.

    I love this idea lol It's a shame she's a retired nurse so I probably wouldn't get away with it lol :D
    What I see here is people-pleasing behavior, to your own detriment. At 60, I'm still fighting the urge towards people-pleasing behavior, although not in the food area. I would have hoped that your mother could see the good results of your healthy eating and exercise and support you, but if she won't, you need to stand up for yourself, firmly and lovingly.

    ha yeah, it's a quandary. I used to be really into sports at secondary school, but gained loads of weight at college (no sports) and was constantly reminded of that extra weight, now I want to lose weight I'm being awkward although she's impressed I got from 20st to 14st...

    I think you guys are right, I'm just going to have to be tough about it. At the end of the day, I can't have foods like cheese because of the salt content anyway, and she's just going to have to accept that when I come round it's got to be low-fat and healthy so I can keep losing weight and get to somewhere a lot more healthy. Oh and not make my ear pop open again! I'm doing steamed turkey parcels tonight (it's a bed of tomato, then the turkey, then ginger and lemon juice, wrap it up and steam it in the oven :D) with a vegetable salad - all well portion controlled lol wish me luck
  • Cese27
    Cese27 Posts: 626 Member
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    Don't think low fat is healthy for one second

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