Why can't I do it?

0fuchsially
0fuchsially Posts: 8
in Motivation and Support
So I just joined the community. I was hoping to get support or at least some input on the psychology that we go through during weight loss.

I've been heavy almost all my life, well, since my teenage years. When I finished high school I've successfully lost about 15 kgs. Mainly by exercising 2 hours a day and taking excessive amounts of laxatives. But I believe my introduction to self-help books and reading material about weight loss and exercise motivated me, or at least contributed to my weight loss. I've gained all the weight back now. I realized practicing unhealthy habits wasn't the way it should be done. I just feel like all that hard work is now gone to waste, and I see no reason to do it all over again. As you can imagine, I'm even more depressed than ever. I still practice unhealthy eating habits. I feel guilty when I binge, so I immediately go purge. Well, it's a vicious cycle that never stops. I know I am overweight/obese, I know what I am doing is wrong. But for some reason, I just don't do anything about it, and I can. It hurts me. Everyday, I live in this ugly battle, I think about it at least 5 times a day; how fat I am. Yet, I don't do anything about it.
How do I motivate myself to do something about it and just move? I feel like sponge that is soaking in water, but for some reason is not soaking anything. You'd think that a sponge would soak the water, with all that water around, but nothing is happening. That's how I feel, the resources are just all around me. I have fitness gear, I watch motivational youtube videos, I have tumblrs for fitness motivation (thinspirations) but for some reason all of that does not move me.

Replies

  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    find a race that is in 6-8 months. sign up for it. now you have a real goal to train for.
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 491 Member
    There are many days where I force myself to work out.. Yes FORCE because I don't feel like moving. I always think "Oh, this bowl of ice cream won't do any harm".. but really saying that too much is what got me here! I have realized that I have to take control and stop being lazy. You have to push yourself, whether it be by taking a horribly embarrassing picture of yourself or just a motivational quote that keeps you going.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    Do it right now. Commit to 10 minutes of anything that gets you up and out of your comfort zone. Jump rope, do push-ups, sit-ups, whatever.

    Gathering knowledge is a very good thing, but only you can take the next step into action.

    (and I'm talking to myself here, too. I've been in a "holding pattern" for weeks now, unable to decide what exactly I want to do about myself)
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    Follow Nikes advice "Just Do It".

    Ultimately it's upto you, no one can motivate you enough if the yearning from you isn't there.
  • AmyJeanMarie84
    AmyJeanMarie84 Posts: 54 Member
    You really just have to jump all in. No excuses just results. I know what I need personally. I am a disabled combat veteran the drill Sgt. way works best for me. Pain is weakness leaving the body. I need a physical coach to push and challenge me. I pay a good bit of money monthly for it. As well as buying all the gear to do it on my own. I didn't start out slow i jumped in at a level that was way above what i thought i could do.....and I did it. I told my trainer that I would never say I can't...I complain and belly ache somedays but I do it. I also made the decision to not diet but to change my entire eating habit. Clean eating works. If you know its bad don't buy it. Get a nutritionalist. You can't expect to change just by watching the videos. You have to live it all day everyday. It sucks the first week I started at the gym I couldn't walk. Literally my kids rolled me around in a computer chair. But each week got better. I don't obsess about the scale, I do track my measurements though. I use a heart rate monitor to track calories, and workouts. I bike because I can't run. I refused to wear normal clothing for the first 3 months. Only workout gear.... No excuse to not do random workouts lol. If you are at your lowest now is the time to just to just go all. Whatcha got to lose but the lbs?
  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 839 Member
    OK, first off - throw out the laxatives! You'll only hurt yourself! Secondly, take a deep, cleansing breath and tell yourself "Baby Steps". Too often we all try to fix everything right now - and we're always disappointed. Here are some things that have worked for me:

    1. Go on some sort of cleanse diet for at least two weeks. By "cleanse", I don't mean colon cleanse! Something like The 17 Day Diet or South Beach, I'm sure there are many others out there. The thing you want is a very restrictive first two weeks: NO sugar, NO bad carbs, NO alcohol. It will be tough, but once you get that out of your system, it's a lot easier to handle the cravings.

    2. Start exercising sensibly. You don't need an hour or two at the gym every day. Walk, do some light weights, ride a bike, yoga - get your body moving and start strengthening those muscles.

    3. Begin to eat as "clean" as you can - very few processed foods, NO fast food, lots of fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains.

    4. Drink your water!

    5. Remind yourself that you are doing this to be a healthier, physically fit person - not just to lose weight. Weight loss will be a nice bonus, but what you're really doing is taking better care of yourself so you can live a longer, fuller life.

    6. Set short, achievable goals that don't have anything to do with the scale. Things like: walking 1 mile, fitting into the next size smaller pants, 10 push-ups. Write them down on a list and when you achieve them, celebrate and reward yourself with something (not food) like shopping for new pants, or getting some good walking/running shoes, or even just going out to a movie.

    7. Log into MFP every day, track everything you eat, all your exercise, and all your water. It REALLY does help! Make lots of MFP friends (feel free to add me). Friends are wonderful at encouraging, giving advice, and understanding what you're going through. We're ALL going through it, too!

    You CAN do this. I have every confidence in you! :happy:
  • paxbfl
    paxbfl Posts: 391 Member
    Getting your head in the right place is so critical. Why do you want to get in shape?

    You need to be honest with yourself and recognize the seriousness of this situation. This is your life we're talking about.

    Clearly you're not satisfied with your life right now. You shouldn't be - because it could be so much better!

    You're in a negative spiral right now. Once you break out of it, you'll look and feel so much better you'll never want to go back.
  • Emilie04444
    Emilie04444 Posts: 151 Member
    I think you need to write down why you are doing it. Vanity and looking good can only get you so far and it can lead you to doing it the wrong way. Weight loss takes time, especially if you have yo yo'd. Just start making small changes and at a certain point it will just click. That's what I did. When I reached my highest weight, I was about to go to a size 18 but I refused. I didn't want to change, but I started walking and bringing my lunch to work. You have to fake it, till you make it and just do it. Act as if you are already at your goal and just do what she would do, because she would do something.
  • lee91356
    lee91356 Posts: 330 Member
    Not to be mean but unless your really ready to make a change it doesnt matter what anyone say, its all about you! I've been heavy all my life and not until now (in my early 30s) did I really make the needed lifestyle changes, without excuses and requests for motivation from others. Its all about you and being ready to make it and unless we are ready for it, its not going to happen. I hope that I am either wrong, or that you are truly ready for it. Good Luck!
  • MichelleB69
    MichelleB69 Posts: 213 Member
    This is a fascinating question to me: I've always wondered what is the trigger or "switch" for people who succeed in this journey. I do know it is different for everyone, but basically boils down to one thing: when you are soooooo uncomfortable/unhappy leading the life you currently lead, you WILL do something to change it. People are creatures of habit, and when we are comfortable, we are not inclined to leave that comfort zone.

    Use this discomfort to your advantage...it is your brain/body trying to tell you something. Listen to it. We are here for you whenever you are ready.
  • Acour1
    Acour1 Posts: 2 Member
    "If you think you can or if you think you can't.your right either way".henry ford said that.just stop thinking you can't.
  • 0fuchsially
    0fuchsially Posts: 8
    find a race that is in 6-8 months. sign up for it. now you have a real goal to train for.

    Races and being "athletic" were never a goal of mine. Being healthy and feeling good about my body is. But I guess increasing my physical potential is a goal I look forward to.
  • 0fuchsially
    0fuchsially Posts: 8
    Do it right now. Commit to 10 minutes of anything that gets you up and out of your comfort zone. Jump rope, do push-ups, sit-ups, whatever.

    Gathering knowledge is a very good thing, but only you can take the next step into action.

    (and I'm talking to myself here, too. I've been in a "holding pattern" for weeks now, unable to decide what exactly I want to do about myself)

    I know small changes make the biggest different. I just did 10 minutes of aerobics. I'm committing to small physical activities like 10 squats, 10 minutes of aerobics, etc. I know they have both a physical and psychological advantage. But I can't help but have negative thoughts about these acts going to waste by a simple binge.
  • Shawshankcan
    Shawshankcan Posts: 900 Member
    Stop thinking about it.

    I did jiu jitsu for a number of years. Then life got in the way. I was nervous to go back, even though I was a high ranking belt. The way I found back was by simply not thinking about it. But the time I realized what I was doing, i was in the car and it was too late to turn back.
  • 0fuchsially
    0fuchsially Posts: 8
    Getting your head in the right place is so critical. Why do you want to get in shape?

    You need to be honest with yourself and recognize the seriousness of this situation. This is your life we're talking about.

    Clearly you're not satisfied with your life right now. You shouldn't be - because it could be so much better!

    You're in a negative spiral right now. Once you break out of it, you'll look and feel so much better you'll never want to go back.

    I agree with you. It's especially harder for me now because I have felt what it would feel like to be thinner. I was at a happy place, but with a blink of an eye it all just disappeared when I gained all that weight back. I stopped exercising and stopped taking laxatives. So naturally I gained all the weight back. I always think to myself all that hard work just went to waste. It's not that I am lazy and I hate exercise. I enjoy exercising. It makes me feel good once I start. But I'm having problems with emotional eating. I am taking Oxyelite Pro at the moment. It's not helping that much.
  • 0fuchsially
    0fuchsially Posts: 8
    Not to be mean but unless your really ready to make a change it doesnt matter what anyone say, its all about you! I've been heavy all my life and not until now (in my early 30s) did I really make the needed lifestyle changes, without excuses and requests for motivation from others. Its all about you and being ready to make it and unless we are ready for it, its not going to happen. I hope that I am either wrong, or that you are truly ready for it. Good Luck!

    I know that it may sound like I am just making excuses. I have no excuses whatsoever. Everything I need is around me. The frustration stems from my eating habits and how they're destroying my goals. It's easy for me to define my goals. But I can't help but have a sense of carelessness seeing where I am at and the small changes I am making. Growing up, food was my only companion. My parents were divorced when I was at a young age. I was accustomed to eating to my satisfaction and not care about calories. I guess a part of me wants to fill that void. I know I should've gotten out of it now that I am an adult. But it's harder than it may seem.
  • AmyJeanMarie84
    AmyJeanMarie84 Posts: 54 Member
    Not to be mean but unless your really ready to make a change it doesnt matter what anyone say, its all about you! I've been heavy all my life and not until now (in my early 30s) did I really make the needed lifestyle changes, without excuses and requests for motivation from others. Its all about you and being ready to make it and unless we are ready for it, its not going to happen. I hope that I am either wrong, or that you are truly ready for it. Good Luck!

    I know that it may sound like I am just making excuses. I have no excuses whatsoever. Everything I need is around me. The frustration stems from my eating habits and how they're destroying my goals. It's easy for me to define my goals. But I can't help but have a sense of carelessness seeing where I am at and the small changes I am making. Growing up, food was my only companion. My parents were divorced when I was at a young age. I was accustomed to eating to my satisfaction and not care about calories. I guess a part of me wants to fill that void. I know I should've gotten out of it now that I am an adult. But it's harder than it may seem.

    You can still eat great food, without over eating. Clean eating doesn't mean starve yourself. Just means adjusting certain products for healthier ones. Making my meals in advance for the whole week was a life saver. Drinking a gallon or more of water a day helped cut down on cravings and binges. Protein shakes with fruit and almond milk made it al out fun. And don't give up if you mess up. Just work harder the next day. :) make it fun invite a friend to try out your meal experiments. Try new foods. Kale quinoa hummus pb2 cooking fish all new things to me and I found Great ways to make them work.
  • 0fuchsially
    0fuchsially Posts: 8
    You can still eat great food, without over eating. Clean eating doesn't mean starve yourself. Just means adjusting certain products for healthier ones. Making my meals in advance for the whole week was a life saver. Drinking a gallon or more of water a day helped cut down on cravings and binges. Protein shakes with fruit and almond milk made it al out fun. And don't give up if you mess up. Just work harder the next day. :) make it fun invite a friend to try out your meal experiments. Try new foods. Kale quinoa hummus pb2 cooking fish all new things to me and I found Great ways to make them work.

    I'm trying to adjust my eating habits. I try to get as much protein first thing in the morning. I actually enjoyed eating clean and healthy. But sometimes I get this urge to just eat, even if i'm not really hungry. And this just takes me to a vicious cycle.
  • AmyJeanMarie84
    AmyJeanMarie84 Posts: 54 Member
    You can still eat great food, without over eating. Clean eating doesn't mean starve yourself. Just means adjusting certain products for healthier ones. Making my meals in advance for the whole week was a life saver. Drinking a gallon or more of water a day helped cut down on cravings and binges. Protein shakes with fruit and almond milk made it al out fun. And don't give up if you mess up. Just work harder the next day. :) make it fun invite a friend to try out your meal experiments. Try new foods. Kale quinoa hummus pb2 cooking fish all new things to me and I found Great ways to make them work.

    I'm trying to adjust my eating habits. I try to get as much protein first thing in the morning. I actually enjoyed eating clean and healthy. But sometimes I get this urge to just eat, even if i'm not really hungry. And this just takes me to a vicious cycle.

    Like bored eating?? Some people are emotional eaters I am a bored eater. No joke I carry a gallon of water jug everywhere lol. My last meal has to be consumed my 9 after that I just chug water. My workouts were better my skin was better ....peed every 10 mins but i dont feel hungry as often. You need to find an alternative that works for you. Raisins pistachios sugar free gum or sugar free candy.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    find a race that is in 6-8 months. sign up for it. now you have a real goal to train for.

    Races and being "athletic" were never a goal of mine. Being healthy and feeling good about my body is. But I guess increasing my physical potential is a goal I look forward to.

    ::shrug:: i know it's worked for me and has worked for others. giving you an outward thing to strive for, and a validation of your hard work.

    at the end of a spartan race they hand you a medal, a t-shirt that says "finisher," and a cold beer and they tell you 'way to go!' they don't care how you look like.

    however, when you are stepping in front of a mirror looking for validation, you might not see it, no matter what you lose.
  • ReginaM49
    ReginaM49 Posts: 65 Member
    So much of this is mental. You have to be at the right place mentally. I've gone through many periods just like you. I had a "I don't give a sh....t attitude. I couldn't get motivated.... no matter how miserable I was. I thought about it daily and wished I felt motivated, but I just didn't. Over this time period, in the back of my mind, I think I was planning.... deciding to commit. I think you will eventually get to that point. Go easy on yourself. Beating yourself up is not going to help. Also, think about what will work for YOU. Everyone is different. Its ok to listen to others to get ideas, but you have to develop you own program specific to YOU. Thats why diets don't work. If you hate salads, you can't make yourself eat them. You will never maintain that. But there are plenty of other choices that you do like that can fit into your program and work for you. The same is true for Exercise. If you hate the treadmill because it bores you to death, then don't do it. If working out 7 days a week, one hour a day is probably not going to work in your daily routine, then change it up. If you only do 20 minutes of exercise 4 days a week and are able to maintain that, then you might just be able to live with that for the long haul. Bottom line, don't start trying to do everything all at once perfectly. Take each day at a time and feel good about each small victory. Talk to people on here. Support and a positive attitude will help, not self criticism.
  • ReginaM49
    ReginaM49 Posts: 65 Member
    I read your one reply where you mentioned "eating to fill a void" and your way to deal with the pain of your parents divorce. You can know how to lose weight. You can have all the equipment in the world to exercise. What you may need in addition is some therapy to deal with those early feelings. It sounds like you already know this. I have faith that you are going to figure out what you need to be successful. Add me as a friend if you like. I'm rooting for you!

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