Eating disorders

FFfitgirl
FFfitgirl Posts: 369 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ive suffered from an eating disorder that started about 2 years ago. I hadn't really had an issue with it in till now. Now that Ive lost weight and finally starting to see a little bit of the new me. Im down 50 pounds with 50 to go.
History:
I lost over 100 pounds and had gotten down to a first healthy weight in my life. I felt great and like an entire new person. People where I worked started saying things, at first they were supportive and curious to how I was doing it. Everytime I'd see them they would ask me how much I had lost. Then it went down hill, they started saying how bad I looked, that I was getting to thin, even talking about me being anorexic. It completely tore me down when I was feeling so confident and pretty.
I started eating more to the point of an actuall binge (not just I ate pizza type of binge now im going to gain weight kind of binge that people talk about on here).
Id eat an entire half gallon of ice cream in one sitting
Oatmeal
eat the left overs from last night dinner (I remember around the holidays just eating stuffing and turkey in front of the open fridge)
nuts
Eat handfuls of cereal
Id eat anything and everything I could find
I gained back 90 out of the 120+ pounds that I had lost.

I was in therapy and on medication (prozac). I didn't really find therapy helping. The medication did, but it made me so sick. Nauseas, dizzy, chest pain, shortness of breath.

I stopped both over a year ago and had been fine.

Now
That Im starting to lose weight and starting to have small binges. Im starting to have that eat everything in sight feeling.

I dont want to go back on medication, and I dont have insurance to go into therapy.

I just really need some advice, some guidance.

Replies

  • purpleroxmysocks
    purpleroxmysocks Posts: 137 Member
    Hi! First I would like to say that I am sorry you are suffering like this. For a long time I was anorexic and bulimic. I got down to 109 and I am 5'8.5". After that I found that I could no longer maintain that weight and I turned to binge eating and got up to 240. I was eat and eat and eat and eat and...well you get the point. The only advice I can give you is to just kind of stop thinking about it. Start making healthy choices in your every day life and if you feel like having a ****ing cookie, then eat it, but only one. Don't deprive yourself yourself of food and don't reward yourself with food. I have lost a total of 90lbs and I don't deprive myself of things but through out my weight loss journey I have had to make changes. Don't let food control you and don't let other people make you feel bad about your victories. Haters gonna hate!
  • 34_22_34
    34_22_34 Posts: 2
    Hi there,

    I've struggled with an eating disorder for about 13 years now, so I understand where you're coming from. Binges tend to happen when you're on a strict diet and your body feels deprived. Your body's demanding nutrition and will get it the quickest way it knows how!

    From my experience, a balanced diet where you're eating consistently helps immensely. What also helps with hunger and helps prevent binges is drinking water or tea to fill. I find hot tea with a bit of milk/honey comforting, too.

    If you're craving sweets, you may be low in blood sugar. Consider a piece of fruit instead. Or if you tend to crave more fatty/salty foods to binge on (for me, pizza was a favourite), try to supplement instead with healthy fats such as nuts or oils such as coconut or olive. You may have a vitamin deficiency and your body's trying to compensate by craving certain foods.

    As Purpleroxmysock's suggested, if you feel like having a cookie, have a cookie! The trick is stopping at one or two.

    She also suggested not using food as a reward. I agree. I noticed that I would binge if I was upset. I'm trying to do other things instead of turning to food when I'm happy, sad, bored, alone, anxious or angry. I like to paint or write in my journal. Yoga helps if you practice regularly, and there are some great yoga poses you can do that actually help with bulimia. If you're interested to learn more about that let me know.

    Hope this helps!

    Best,

    J.
  • gonnamakeanewaccount
    gonnamakeanewaccount Posts: 642 Member
    We sound very similar. I'm here if you'd like to vent or even friend request me.
  • Butterfly_emerging
    Butterfly_emerging Posts: 15
    Wow I just had this experience too! I'm so glad to see people post about this on here who aren't actually just 10lbs. over and saying omg I got so fat. I'm 5'7" and been everywhere from 150lbs. healthy to 120, 110, lowest at 79lbs. and up to 200s and currently at 315. Every time I get going eating healthy and "normally" My head starts getting going to bad places and my thinking gets extreme and then I'm not eating enough and then I lose it and have a really bad binge! I just did that yesterday and I feel so horrible about it. I totally get what you're going through! Vent anytime! Feel free to add me I could use a friend who understands both sides too! I just made my diary open to friends today in hopes it will help me be more accountable for what I'm eating and not eating so I can hopefully avoid this again.

    ((((hugs)))) Kate :)
  • Sushifish87
    Sushifish87 Posts: 40
    Due to family issues when I was a child I started emotional binge eating. That was a start of a crazy messed up life with food. Thanks to "support" from "loved" ones I lost the weight, and kept going. I was never thin enough for them and it killed me. After a forced recovery where they pretty much shove food down your throat I cracked. I started binge eating again and gained a lot of weight back, with help from my friend I got in a healthier weight but could afford to lose like 25lbs.

    Than I had my car accident which is a long story but with all the things we had to go through I fell back on eating. I've found over time that I'm a hardcore emotional eater and therapy doesn't seem to help at all.

    While I still binge eat (sadly like today) and still have my break downs its gotten better thanks to a trick that I found to work for me. I keep a journal which I take everywhere with me. I write down everything, I mean every little thing. I write about how badly I want to be thin again, how much I battle with myself, how much I hate my mother and sister for being naturally thin while I've always had issues. It helps me a lot... its kept me sane.
  • FFfitgirl
    FFfitgirl Posts: 369 Member
    Thank you all for your kind responses. I was so worried about posting this on here because of how mean and negative people can be. I see a lot of "just get over it" postings, but anyone who ha had an eating disorder knows that its like someone else takes over that you cant control
  • banana_milk
    banana_milk Posts: 40
    I've dealt with an eating disorder for 5 years (bulimia). I did go to a therapist while I was still in school, and she made me visit a nutritionist who used to be bulimic. The advice she gave me was that, in order to stop binging, you can't be actively trying to lose weight. Instead, focus on maintaining your current weight and lessening the binges. I know it's probably not what you want to hear. It's definitely not what I wanted to hear, but it does help.
  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
    I'm right there with all of you. I binge. I can eat and eat everything in site until I am sick. I wake up disgusted with myself and mad then for some reason, I do it again that night. I have had a bad month but... nipped it in the bud yesterday and will continue to get the 5 lbs I re-gained off before it becomes 20 lbs. It is the hardest thing in the world. I have an addictive personality and i am on meds. I need a schedule and discipline to stay on track. If I have one glass of wine, I have the bottle and then binge. I wish I could stop after one of things but I know I can't. I love the feeling of waking up and feeling good. I am going to remember this feeling and repeat!!!

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