Things I would say to Jillian Michaels

ZiezieO
ZiezieO Posts: 228 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Dear Jillian Michaels,

I have always been afraid that you would someday knock on my door and kick my *kitten*. So, today I decided I would prepare for that day / a zombie apocalypse (two birds one stone). I learned very quickly that yes, you encourage loudly-but you're funny and inspiring. At the end of a work out where I was standing in the same 5' of space I started in, I was gasping for air. YOU ARE A BEAST. I am now terrified that you will show up to my house even more. Therefore, I have now decided to commit to the 30 challenge of your work outs. In result I hope to be prepared for your arrival and maybe we can just go get ice cream instead and go for a jog after.

Please don't come hurt me,
More Out of Shape Than I Thought
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Replies

  • bonniecarbtoo
    bonniecarbtoo Posts: 29
    I would say "you freaking bully, you convinced me to do a jumping jack against my better judgement, because I love you. That was a year ago and I'm still in pain from the muscle tear." But I still stumble through your workouts with no jumps, no hopping down on the floor, no squats - so basically I can't do your workouts as they should be done any more. But you're a bad az anyway and I still sweat and get tired.
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
    lmao! im scared of her too!! lol i loved 30DS
  • justwanderful
    justwanderful Posts: 142 Member
    I'd say, "What were you thinking when you planned out the workout? Two extension exercises in a row; push-ups followed by military presses? Why not an extension followed by a contraction, like push-ups followed by curls? That would give each group of muscles a couple minutes to recoup some energy." Sheesh.
  • moni_tb_192
    moni_tb_192 Posts: 188 Member
    Dear Jillian, you are INSANE for making us workout like this.. I want to see you doing that too, not just walking around the girls but w/e...

    Some say there is a fine line between love and hatred; but I'm beyond that. I'll deify you forever and ever cause you've made me lose inches like no one or nothing else ever has before.

    There.
  • afrodizzia
    afrodizzia Posts: 56 Member
    Hi Jillian

    You're the best!!! You never disappoint, you're never sugarcoat and you consistently deliver results (if I watch my diet).
    You make me love sweat!!!
  • Sqeekyjojo
    Sqeekyjojo Posts: 704 Member
    'Go and get some other poor sap permanently injured by your stupid, dangerous routines.'
  • SGSmallman
    SGSmallman Posts: 193 Member
    Stop stealing routines from everyone else and pretending they're yours while promoting those godly unhealthy products and diets. You are putting a nation in a dangerous mindset!

    Oh and lay off the coke and male growth hormones!
  • Microfiber
    Microfiber Posts: 956 Member

    Oh and lay off the .......... male growth hormones!

    She's not got a husky voice :laugh:
  • AprilOneFourFour
    AprilOneFourFour Posts: 226 Member
    Don't make any jokes that aren't funny once, let alone ten times
  • tiddlebit11
    tiddlebit11 Posts: 182
    I would say "you look like a man. Youre fit. But no thanks"
  • camaxon
    camaxon Posts: 17 Member
    I would say..whatever she is doing...works...her body is rocking..
  • mlogantra76
    mlogantra76 Posts: 334 Member
    Thank you for putting several videos free on youtube...
  • camaxon
    camaxon Posts: 17 Member
    I would say.."come to my house for 1 week and kick my *kitten* into shape"
  • Trilby16
    Trilby16 Posts: 707 Member
    I would say, "Jillian could you please shut up for a minute? Could you please count? I don't know how many of these I'm supposed to do. Jillian could you uncurl your lip and stop snarling at me? Thanks!"
  • debraran1
    debraran1 Posts: 521 Member
    LoL, she commented in an interview that she can't watch herself, "I just don't shut up!" So she knows. I noticed a kinder Jillian in her new DVD's although she will contradict things depending on the DVD...it's okay to do small and large muscles together, no it's not, etc. it really doesn't matter, but she has to do variety.

    I would tell her, keep encouraging but don't tell viewers "anyone can do a jumping jack", I have 400 pound people doing them"Someone with bad knees or 350 pounds without a BL doctor nearby shouldn't just wing it. She works very closely with many professionals. Working in an ortho/PT office had me see many "I thought I could do this" injuries.

    She has some great DVD's, I lost weight with them, but modified when I needed too. I never felt like I was failing if I did. I hope she keeps up the encouragement I saw in Body Revolution, she was very kind and gently pushed in the beginning.
    I hear her voice when I walk/jog in my ear, "You can do more, just try. You don't know what you can do" And I usually do try a bit harder. But she does have to learn to COUNT. : )
    :
  • Outrageous_HappYness
    Outrageous_HappYness Posts: 30 Member
    LoL, she commented in an interview that she can't watch herself, "I just don't shut up!" So she knows. I noticed a kinder Jillian in her new DVD's although she will contradict things depending on the DVD...it's okay to do small and large muscles together, no it's not, etc. it really doesn't matter, but she has to do variety.

    I would tell her, keep encouraging but don't tell viewers "anyone can do a jumping jack", I have 400 pound people doing them"Someone with bad knees or 350 pounds without a BL doctor nearby shouldn't just wing it. She works very closely with many professionals. Working in an ortho/PT office had me see many "I thought I could do this" injuries.

    She has some great DVD's, I lost weight with them, but modified when I needed too. I never felt like I was failing if I did. I hope she keeps up the encouragement I saw in Body Revolution, she was very kind and gently pushed in the beginning.
    I hear her voice when I walk/jog in my ear, "You can do more, just try. You don't know what you can do" And I usually do try a bit harder. But she does have to learn to COUNT. : )
    :

    Yes - she does "rant" but you know what - I need to hear her voice to help keep motivated. I am on week 3 of Phase 1 of the Body Revolution and I can't believe how much I am able to do from day 1. I have a love/hate relationship with her, but you can't deny the results. She always does suggest modifications and that it's important to just keep moving. She is a bad *kitten* but you if you give what you can of yourself & have checked with your doctor before starting to make sure you are clear to go ahead then you most likely won't be injured. Know your body and know what you honestly can't do and then modify. Otherwise, push yourself a little bit each time, making sure you are always aware of how you are feeling.
    Thank you Jillian is all I would say :)
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I would say "you look like a man. Youre fit. But no thanks"

    She looks nothing like a man.. :noway:
  • katdav60
    katdav60 Posts: 14
    I'd say, who are you ??? !!!
  • WisiPls
    WisiPls Posts: 359
    I'd say, hey girl lemmie clap dem cheeks
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    i would simply say thank you for pushing me out side of my confort zone. yes i whine some time cry but in the end its working.. i'm going into week two of phase to of br i love it most times
  • running_free_1984
    running_free_1984 Posts: 115 Member
    Dear Jillian,

    I do all three shreds in a row if i really fancy kicking my own *kitten*. And thanks to that my abs are solid, just a shame you can't see them yet behind my post pregnancy disproportionate stomach. But i'm going to keep crushing my core with your workouts until they are. But i admit I'm a little fearful of level 3 and 4 of ripped in 30... But goddamn you know how to make a challenging workout if you don't half *kitten* it, so bring on ripped!

    It's also helping me prepare for my Super Spartan in September.

    You rock!
  • Allterrain_Lady
    Allterrain_Lady Posts: 421 Member
    I'd say: "I'm addicted to you"!!! Videos, podcasts, interviews, books, everything!

    I know some people have very strong bad feelings about her for endorsing weight loss products or being a bully, or allegedly taking male hormones or cocaine or whatever.
    I KNOW that I don't know if she does. She's not my mother, sister, friend and she does whatever the hell she wants.

    What I know is that I'm shrieking doing her videos, she gets me thinner and stronger, that almost everything she says is smart and/or funny and/or useful, that the no excuse/no giving up works for me, that the bottom of her work is about enpowerment, which is what I want.

    Thanks Jillian!
  • Katy_V
    Katy_V Posts: 43 Member
    "Jillian, will you marry me?"
  • cybersheel
    cybersheel Posts: 145 Member
    Dear Jillian,
    I started out thinking, 'I can do this'.
    Then realised it was only the 'warm up'
    Oooops!!!
  • SadFaerie
    SadFaerie Posts: 243 Member
    I would tell her, keep encouraging but don't tell viewers "anyone can do a jumping jack", I have 400 pound people doing them"Someone with bad knees or 350 pounds without a BL doctor nearby shouldn't just wing it. She works very closely with many professionals. Working in an ortho/PT office had me see many "I thought I could do this" injuries.
    Thank you! That's what I always wanted to tell her, "you stupid thing, don't tell 400lb people to do jumping jacks, you're encouraging them to destroy their joints!!!" I personally don't believe in "one workout that fits all", Jillian should know better, too.
  • debraran1
    debraran1 Posts: 521 Member
    I would tell her, keep encouraging but don't tell viewers "anyone can do a jumping jack", I have 400 pound people doing them"Someone with bad knees or 350 pounds without a BL doctor nearby shouldn't just wing it. She works very closely with many professionals. Working in an ortho/PT office had me see many "I thought I could do this" injuries.
    Thank you! That's what I always wanted to tell her, "you stupid thing, don't tell 400lb people to do jumping jacks, you're encouraging them to destroy their joints!!!" I personally don't believe in "one workout that fits all", Jillian should know better, too.
    She might not because her demographics are mainly under 40, but I wish she would come out with a low impact workout for people who can only modify, you can still get great results. Maybe when she's older.

    She's been taken to task for some of her statements, but overall she's gotten better over the years.
  • charlene1873
    charlene1873 Posts: 263
    Jillian Michaels you ROCK !!! and I want to keep you all to myself forever and ever lol
  • xxghost
    xxghost Posts: 4,697 Member
    I would say "you look like a man. Youre fit. But no thanks"

    If her look is manly, I don't want to be a woman anymore.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Dear Jillian,

    Please stop wearing your hair in a half pony tail behind your ears- it makes you look like a monkey.
  • babe1373
    babe1373 Posts: 1
    I'm addicted to I'm at moment. Finished 30 day shred with 29 inches lost. Started banish fat boost metabolism yesterday. You kick *kitten* x

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