I would give ANYTHING...well, except any effort whatsoever

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  • Isakizza
    Isakizza Posts: 754 Member
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    Seems like her comment about "I would give anything" was just a compliment to how great you look. She isn't really going to do the hard work for herself, lol.

    You just can't help people who aren't willing to help themselves.
  • HannahJDiaz25
    HannahJDiaz25 Posts: 329 Member
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    You know... I feel kind of bad for ranting about this online. She is a very sweet person, and the only annoying habit she has is complaining about her weight...and never being willing to take action. Oh well. there is no delete button. I just wanted to vent. But now I don't think I should have.
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
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    There's always a difference between desire and commitment and let's face it, not many people want to commit for whatever reason it is.

    Get a backbone instead of a wishbone.

    Awesome.
  • bio01979
    bio01979 Posts: 313
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    Its not just about weight. People would love to get good grades in school or learn a language, but don't want to study more. They'd love to earn more money, but don't want to work longer hours or at a more stressful job. That's just the way people are.

    The key is to realize what a thinner body or better grades costs in terms of one's own effort. If you're willing to pay the cost you can have it, if you're not then don't complain.

    lol I hate studying so I didn't really do it, but I managed As in University with little to no studying :) Drove my friends crazy :)

    but I do agree you have to figure out the effort cost for you and be willing to do it, no matter what the goal is :)
  • bio01979
    bio01979 Posts: 313
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    You know... I feel kind of bad for ranting about this online. She is a very sweet person, and the only annoying habit she has is complaining about her weight...and never being willing to take action. Oh well. there is no delete button. I just wanted to vent. But now I don't think I should have.

    I think you are ok for venting, I personally believe venting is healthy :) Better for your friendship to vent here than flip out on her and make her feel like **** right?

    Also, she has to want to put the effort in, all you can do is be there for her if/when she finally is willing :)
  • shimmer615
    shimmer615 Posts: 55
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    Maybe she's not ready to get healthy. It could be as plain and simple as that. I think all of us who have been (and currently are) overweight or unhealthy have had moments in our lives where we say "I wish I could be thinner" or "I wish I could eat healthier", and we (most likely) know what we should do and that it will require a lot of work, and are just not ready to do it. I know that I have been in that place many, many times in my life. Yes, I might be making excuses, but I am human.

    I think that just being a supportive friend will do wonders for her. Hopefully she'll get to the point where she stops wishing and starts taking action.
  • bio01979
    bio01979 Posts: 313
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    I find that if you ease them into it rather than trying to slam everything you've done down their throat at once, they are more receptive to the gradual change. It took us time, research (lot of questions and answers) and a whole lot of discipline to reach the position that someone would envy. So give it to them in small doses.

    that is good advice I think :)

    small changes like work out for 20 mins twice a week to start (or whatever they will commit to)

    or find something they like doing (maybe the activity you do to workout for an hour is loathesome to them)

    I personally don't love gyms but I will go that route if I have to (prefer to have free weights at home for strength though)

    and don't even get me started on running or on how running somehow suddenly became the only acceptable way to get fit/active - I will do my hour in the pool swimming 2-3km thanks :)

    maybe it is the type of activity?
  • RCottonRPh
    RCottonRPh Posts: 148
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    People are pathologically hooked to the "quick, easy fix" idea. I am a pharmacist and I get bombarded constantly with questions on whatever Dr. Oz's "magic bullet" of the week is. I get asked to recommend a diet pill and then get to look at people's shocked faces when I say "I don't recommend any of them". Doctors aren't much better...they seem to prescribe Adipex for just about everyone who complains about their weight, even though the risks of the drug are very high and the benefits very modest. I guess we are all still trying to believe the lie about having it all. You cannot eat whatever you want in the quantities that you want AND be fit and look great (unless you are a heavily training athlete). We cannot have it all...we need balance, moderation, and discipline. Everyone that I know who has noticed I have lost weight seems almost disappointed that I'm not losing it with a shake, a pill, HGH injections, a prepackaged food plan, or some other commercial weight loss plan. Nobody wants to hear that I plan my meals, cook at home, eat smaller portions, eat more fruits and veggies, eat less sugar and processed food, and exercise.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,566 Member
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    You know... I feel kind of bad for ranting about this online. She is a very sweet person, and the only annoying habit she has is complaining about her weight...and never being willing to take action. Oh well. there is no delete button. I just wanted to vent. But now I don't think I should have.
    Shouldn't feel bad. If people just held disgruntled feelings in without an outlet, it would eat them up. It's not personal, it's just a vent.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
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    and don't even get me started on running or on how running somehow suddenly became the only acceptable way to get fit/active - I will do my hour in the pool swimming 2-3km thanks :)

    It's taken me a long time to realise that I don't need to run long distances to be fit. It took ruining my knees and not being able to run at all for 3-4 months to show me that. For some odd reason I thought that I had to have a goal of running a half marathon and that would make me a fit person. I think it was because it seemed like everyone around me was doing it. I've since decided that I'm very happy to stick to lifting, sprinting and playing sport
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    Ugh I feel your pain!! After all the hard work I've put into my body (over a year of eating healthy and working out hard core), it's almost an INSULT when people tell me I'm "lucky." It's like they're disregarding all the effort I've made (probably because they don't want to have to think about putting in that much effort themselves).

    People like the easy way out, plain and simple. If your friend really wants to get in shape, one day she will learn and do it the right way. Unfortunately, she will probably try 50 crash diets before she gets to that point, like the majority of people do.
  • norahwynn
    norahwynn Posts: 862 Member
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    I used to be REALLY lucky when I was in my 20's and most of my 30's. I always had people telling me how lucky I was that I could eat anything (and I mean anything) I wanted and didn't gain a pound. I kept my weight at 120 from the time I graduated high school till about 10 years ago. While in high school, I was a steady 115.

    Then I turned about 38 or so, and for some stupid reason, I couldn't eat what I wanted anymore. So yes, I was lucky, and even felt lucky. Now, I work my *kitten* off 5-6 days a week trying to lose this last 21 lbs.

    Not so lucky anymore, but truly understand that it could be much worse... :sad:
  • KAYRRIE
    KAYRRIE Posts: 201 Member
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    I get that a lot. It comes in the form of "I would love to be able to eat and look like you do" (I am always eatting).

    One day I told the person that they can look and eat like me but they would have to train for a marathon like I am because you get to eat quite a bit more food when running 50-70 miles a week.

    That ended that conversation

    lol
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
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    I disagree. Especially for someone who has built a life where enjoyment of food is a primary source of pleasure, dieting equals suck, and it always will.

    You have to learn a life lacking the pleasure of food, and that's just the reality of it. And if your body isn't getting enough food to burn and has to resort to burning stores, you're going to be uncomfortable. That's the reality of it.

    The reality is that losing weight requires you to think about food all the time. It requires massive willpower and this is why most people fail trying to lose weight.

    Also I have never found physical exertion to be pleasant, and certainly not addictive. What I find addictive is sitting in front of the computer playing video games. Anything that involves sweating and little drops of sweat running down your body making you feel like bugs are crawling on you is not pleasant to me. And the worse out of shape you are, the less pleasant it is going to be. Again it takes massive willpower to overcome this and again, that's why most people fail.

    Losing weight is hard work and requires constant attention every second you are awake. It's monumental effort.

    Most people can't do it and they know it.

    Well said.
  • KAYRRIE
    KAYRRIE Posts: 201 Member
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    Nope, I'm not one of the lucky ones. Been fat since I was a teen. But I do agree with you, it's hard work that gets the results. And it's showing (look at my ticker!). I had people ask me when I first started "what diet are you on?", and all I could say was "The Common Sense Diet". Portion control and exercise. I don't get that question as much now. Mostly because I've made it clear through some Facebook posts that I'm working my butt off.

    Lol, your comment just cracked me up. I'm gonna use that in the future, "The Common Sense Diet" lol.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    OMG I feel you, OP! I HATE it when people just think I "lucked" into great shape and how they just got the raw deal in life. They would all look as good OR BETTER than me if they simply adopted the same attitudes and behaviors as me. I would look just like them if I followed their lifestyle. It's not magic or destiny or superior genes. I don't even personally think it's hard work. It's just setting priorities, focusing willpower, and practicing perseverance. It becomes a natural habit in time.
  • JennyLisT
    JennyLisT Posts: 402 Member
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    I've had people ask me what diet I'm following. :ohwell:

    If there was a magic pill, there wouldn't be any overweight people like myself (barring extreme circumstances maybe).
  • Johanne1957
    Johanne1957 Posts: 167 Member
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    Most people can't do it and they know it.

    Most people have no idea what they are capable of doing. And there are plenty of posts in the Success Stories forum to prove it.

    ^^^So agree with this...I couldn't....wouldn't do burpees 3 weeks ago...thought I needed to throw my body that way....lol...I tried and pushed myself and yes I can do them...I didn't THINK I would ever be able to do them...!
  • KAYRRIE
    KAYRRIE Posts: 201 Member
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    You know... I feel kind of bad for ranting about this online. She is a very sweet person, and the only annoying habit she has is complaining about her weight...and never being willing to take action. Oh well. there is no delete button. I just wanted to vent. But now I don't think I should have.

    It's ok. I think you were just venting about the lack of effort on someone's part when they say they want to do something but they really don't. I don't think you were really trying to make her look bad or talk bad about her. I get it.
  • krissyboothang
    krissyboothang Posts: 32 Member
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    Conversation with a friend today...

    Friend: "Your sooo lucky to have an "athletic" body. I would give ANYTHING to have your body."
    Me: "Really? Ok. You can have my body. Just give me 1 hour in the gym of your very best effort and follow a simple, healthy diet I'll help you develop and it's all yours."
    Friend: "ummm...."
    Me: "No seriously, One hour a day and eat right. You won’t be hungry or anything. Diets don't have to equal suck and after a little while, working out becomes addictive. I promise. We will work out together...I'll start easy on you :tongue: ."
    Friend: "I'm thinking about starting weight watchers. And I heard about this Raspberry stuff that makes you lose fat..." * turns away ending the conversation.
    Me: :ohwell: What about giving ANYTHING?!? One hour a day and proper eating is too much?? ( I didn't say this...I just shrugged and told her let me know if she changes her mind.)

    Now, I am not the most dedicated person (working on that) but I do work hard(-ish) for my body and health. I love feeling energized and strong. I am learning new things about nutrition and health every day. I research. I read forums. I keep track of the effects of intake and output on my body. I try to eat healthy most of the time...

    I am sick of people telling me that I'm lucky! I am blessed to have had a mom that taught me self-discipline and nutrition and sparked a passion for it in me as a teen, but I work hard to be healthy and stay in shape. It is by no means "luck."

    How about you all? Are you lucky? Or do you just work your butt off? Am I the only person this bothers? Maybe I'm just *****y today...:blushing:

    Well i am the opposite,, I gave birth to twins via c-section. Over two years i gained 40 pounds. I has a boss at work who has a very nice physique. So i asked her the magic question "HOW" she simply replied she works out 5x a week doesnt eat after 7pm, drinks PLENTY of water, doesnt obsess over calories but doesnt go crazy either. I pushed that to the back burner and tried various quick fixes, nothing worked. Meanwhile shes gaining muscle and posting fabolous pics of her bod on FB.. I gave in because i wanted to do ANYTHING to be fit and have a nice physique. Now its only been 6 weeks,, and here i am never did i think i would be addicted to cardio and even strength training

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