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    do you have 'people pleaser' issues?

    Posts: 1,710 Member
    edited January 27 in Chit-Chat
    what sort of problems does it cause for you?

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    Replies

    • Posts: 52
      That people are pleased?
    • Posts: 1,650 Member
      lol
    • Posts: 3,509 Member
      no the heck w ith them
    • Posts: 1,937 Member
      I'm a people pleaser through and through!! And yep the only problem it causes me is that people are pleased!! Yep, people being pleased is one of the biggest problems on the planet!!!!!!!!
    • Posts: 52
      I'm a people pleaser through and through!! And yep the only problem it causes me is that people are pleased!! Yep, people being pleased is one of the biggest problems on the planet!!!!!!!!

      Pleased people suck
    • Posts: 1,710 Member
      i will resist the smutty innuendo.
    • Posts: 88
      I don't think I'm a people pleaser but if I give someone my word then I will do almost anything to stay true to it or at least let them know I won't be able to do whatever it is I said I would do. I really look up to my husband and admire him so I try to make him proud and really hate it when I dissapoint him. Really anyone I admire I like to please but that has helped me, not hurt me.
    • Posts: 57
      In some ways. I'm kinda like a teenage girl. I can't quite handle people not liking me. I've been told by my mother that eventually I'll outgrow it and not give an F what people think. Not everyone will like you. It's the way the world works.

      In some ways it's nice though to take pleasure in someone else's pleasure. Especially from a BDSM perspective.
    • Posts: 2,564 Member
      I will be polite to a reasonable point but 99/100 times I will call people out if they overstep.
    • Posts: 703 Member
      Not in the slightest.
    • Posts: 100
      Probably, and also I've been brought up to be sickeningly polite, result is I get walked over then I get angry and have a tendency to completely snap and shock most people, then feel terribly guilty for about an hour.

      ^This!
      I've had this problem for many years, starting with how I was raised (by a 50s Mom). I treat others SO well, that they start to treat me like a servant/slave, make derogatory remarks, and get angry with me when I can't read their minds.
      A psychoanalyst could spend their life on, and make a fortune off of, me!
    • Posts: 956 Member
      I really look up to my husband and admire him so I try to make him proud and really hate it when I dissapoint him.

      Sweet
    • Posts: 429 Member
      I am a people pleaser and it causes me all kinds of trouble, especially because most take advantage and I end up getting hurt. I don't know how to say no, therefore everybody asks for favors, I cook for most family gathering, my house is used for most holidays, family is always asking for $, I do all the travel arrangements for family and friends, and online shopping. Now when I need something only my mom is available... Sigh. The problem is that, like I said, I always say yes because is the way I show that I care.
    • Posts: 1,710 Member
      I am a people pleaser and it causes me all kinds of trouble, especially because most take advantage and I end up getting hurt. I don't know how to say no, therefore everybody asks for favors, I cook for most family gathering, my house is used for most holidays, family is always asking for $, I do all the travel arrangements for family and friends, and online shopping. Now when I need something only my mom is available... Sigh. The problem is that, like I said, I always say yes because is the way I show that I care.
      this is what i've seen. if everyone were like you then the world would be fabulous, but for every person like you there seems to be several who will happily take advantage.
    • Posts: 1,805 Member
      i'm getting better at protecting my time when someone wants it for something i see as not urgent, but find it hard to refuse requests for help that's genuinely needed when it conflicts with something i have to do.

      (or even non-urgent requests from people who are vulnerable or having a rough time.)
    • Posts: 491 Member
      Yeah, I'm definitely a people pleaser. And it's gotten so bad in the past couple years that I've developed some anxiety issues!
    • Posts: 3,801 Member
      I am with my roommates, because it makes life more pleasant for me if they're happy. This means I have to clean up after them more than I should.
    • Posts: 1,710 Member
      Yeah, I'm definitely a people pleaser. And it's gotten so bad in the past couple years that I've developed some anxiety issues!
      how so?
    • Posts: 348 Member
      I use to be a people pleaser... well I guess I still am since I'm the one always trying to "fix" things but I will say as I've gotten older I've learned to say "no" more often so that I'm not being used and also I've learned that I'm important too and there are times that I need to please myself before I worry about others.
    • Posts: 491 Member
      I've always had a problem with worrying and ulcers. Recently though, I've noticed when I start stressing about stuff, and people, I just feel generally terrible.

      For example. Big family vacation coming up on Friday, multiple families car pooling. And today I all the sudden noticed I just started feeling like crap and realized it's because I'm worried about people getting upset on the vacation.

      Even to me it's completely silly and dumb. But I guess I still worry! idk!
    • Posts: 57 Member
      Oh this is totally me. It stresses me out if I don't make a good first impression, I need to be well liked, if I'm not it bothers me.

      I was also raised to be extremely polite and somewhat selfless. Its a bad thing because I become passive aggressive. As I think others will return the favours in the future, and when they don't and keep demanding things from me, I eventually snap. And as others mentioned above, people are very surprised when i do snap as they had no idea they were bothering me.

      its a problem lol
    • Posts: 1,710 Member
      I've always had a problem with worrying and ulcers. Recently though, I've noticed when I start stressing about stuff, and people, I just feel generally terrible.

      For example. Big family vacation coming up on Friday, multiple families car pooling. And today I all the sudden noticed I just started feeling like crap and realized it's because I'm worried about people getting upset on the vacation.

      Even to me it's completely silly and dumb. But I guess I still worry! idk!
      it's not dumb.
      making yourself ill fretting over their happiness is no more dumb than depression.
      you can see from this thread that other decent, intelligent people have similar issues.
    • Posts: 481 Member
      The only people I need to please are me & my own. My wife will always worry about what other people think & it drives me sane! If people don't like me that's their problem. I won't go out of my way to be a richard, & I'm very tolerant, but only up to a point.

      If you try to please everyone, you will never succeed.
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