The struggle....the battle.....needing more encouragement!!

I think what made the most difference for me when I lost the majority of my weight 2 years ago, was that my motivation was based on getting healthy. Sure I wanted to be smaller, see a smaller number on the scale, buy smaller sized clothing and feel better about what I saw when I looked in the mirror, but I focused on wanting to be healthy for me, for my kids and my husband(1 year before this journey, I lost both my mom and dad with 3 months of each other who died way too young and didn't want to put my kids through that!).

Even when the scale didn't move, or I had a day where I didn't make the best choices, I didn't beat myself up because I knew that for the majority of that particular week, I DID make great choices by eating more veggies and lean protein, that I got to the gym and/or drank my water. For a year, I juggled the same 5lbs up and down, but I wasn't terribly upset- I didn't feel like I was wasting my time because I know what I WAS doing was good for my body, even if the scale didn't reflect it. I knew there were definite changes INSIDE of me that I couldn't see.

The weight finally came off and stayed off after I found a personal trainer who believed in me, and motivated me. We increased my gym time, but more importantly, he reviewed my food journal and helped me make adjustments to my diet. I consistently lost 1-2 lbs a week and have for the most part kept it off. Small, sustainable changes are key.

You can do it . . . FOR YOU!

I think the most discouraging motivation-stealer for me 50 lbs. ago was when I would whine to myself, "But I have sooo far to go!!"

Then I stopped thinking about how long it would take me to lose the weight and just did it one day at a time. My goal was DAILY.....my achievements: a good diary and some kind of exercise, however lame-o it may be. Every day, I made a NEW goal for THAT DAY. And before I knew it, the days flew by and the weight came off.

You can do this. It's mind over matter, setting small attainable goals, and working to achieve them in short time periods. Then just let them add up!

You're looking for encouragement, and that's a good sign, and a great start, but you are going to have to find in yourself too. Sometimes we HAVE to rely on others to tell us to get off our a$$es and do the right thing, but that can't be the majority of the time -- the majority of the time, it has to come from YOU. I am a single mother who works full time, plus every other weekend at my gym, and am on an extremely tight budget, and with even less "free time" than money -- I spend every minute I can between work and my daughter's bedtime with her, because out of a 24 hour day, I really only get to see her for about 3 hours. So, because exercise and my health is also a priority but I don't want my workouts to cut into my time with my daughter, I make sacrifices in other areas: I get up at 4:am every day to get my workout in; I work every other weekend at my gym so that I can get my membership for free, and once in a while (twice a month, maybe) I take my daughter to their childcare center so I can go to a class or do something just to change up my routine a bit. I work out by myself, in my living room, 6 days a week, and my workouts are done before God even gets up for the day. I take my lunch to work every day because it's less expensive and healthier for me. On days when I just can't drag my butt out of bed or get to the gym over lunch, I make sure my daughter and I take the dog for a walk or go for a bike ride -- it's free, it's fun, and it's a great way to spend some time with her.

It's not easy, I definitely get that -- but even when you're in your basement on your treadmill with no one else in the room, you are NOT alone. You have tens of thousands of people on MFP who are doing the exact same thing. My treadmill used to be in my dark, damp, dungeon of a basement too, and it was awful going down there, but my only alternative was to sit on the couch and NOT work out.....and that certainly wasn't much of an alternative.

As far as enjoying your workout, you don't have to rely solely on your treadmill -- what about going to the library and checking out their free workout DVDs? You could check out a hundred of them if that's how many it takes to find one that you DO enjoy, and it wouldn't cost you a penny! Or if you have the internet, get on YouTube and try some of the thousands that are on there? There's a ton of different types of workouts available to you, many of them at no cost and that require little or no equipment. You just have to look for them. Go for walks, bike rides if you have a bike, whatever. Sidewalks are free to use, and I'm guessing you probably own the only required equipment: sneakers. Go to the park and do pullups on the monkey bars and step-ups on the stairs and whatever else you can think of. Or -- is it an option for you to look for a part time job at a gym or somewhere that you'll have access to gym facilities and/or classes? Keep your eyes open, you might be surprised -- I only work about 8 hours/month, and it's DEFINITELY worth it for the gym membership that I would never be able to afford on my own. You will even end up making a little money while you're at it, which you can then put towards the new, smaller clothes you'll need.

Have you heard of meetup.com? In my area there are several "walking groups" and "fitness groups" -- groups of mostly women with a similar interest of getting some exercise in a social setting, and it's free. Check it out, see what you can find. You'll find people with similar goals and possibly similar situations. You might make some like-minded friends. Try googling for free fitness classes in your city or town, there are probably a lot more of them than you think!

Anyhow, I know you're venting, and believe me, we all need to do that sometimes too. It sounds to me like you're teetering on the edge of edge of either finding the motiviation (within yourself ultimately) to get started, or you're about to fall backward onto the couch and say "screw it all". I hope you fall the right way.....it's hard. Really, hard sometimes. We all wish we had tons of money to get an awesome gym membership and pay for a trainer 6 days a week and also pay for someone to watch our kids while we are with that trainer.....but that's not reality for the majority of us, so you have to find ways around it. You can do this, and you can do it without spending a dime, and without spending hours in your basement on your treadmill.

I'm sorry this got so long.... I really didn't mean it to! Add me as a friend if you'd like -- I know I can always use as much support and motivation as I can get, and I'm always happy to try to help support and motivate others. Either way, though, I hope something I've said here helps, and I wish you the best of luck!!!

It's not easy, I definitely get that -- but even when you're in your basement on your treadmill with no one else in the room, you are NOT alone. You have tens of thousands of people on MFP who are doing the exact same thing. My treadmill used to be in my dark, damp, dungeon of a basement too, and it was awful going down there, but my only alternative was to sit on the couch and NOT work out.....and that certainly wasn't much of an alternative.

Do you have the room in your living room/den to move your treadmill upstairs? So even if you aren't in an exciting exercise group, you can hop on the treadmill and visit with your husband and/or kids while you work out.