When does my self esteem catch up?

I'm in the same boat as you. I have went from a size 26 to a size 18 (so far) and I feel more self concious now then I did then. Maybe I am just more self aware? I don't know. I am interested to see what other people have to say........

I totally feel your pain. My dad is from a family full of wonderful but obese people, so he has spent most of my life telling me when I eat to much, if I look like I need to lose weight, etc. I remember being a size 6 and thinking I was fat because I could "pinch an inch." I'm now a size 10 and 170 lbs (6 months ago, before I started MFP, I was 183 and a size 12-14), and although I'm really fit and strong, although I've dropped 1.5-2 pant sizes, I constantly focus on those things my dad said that I always tried to ignore. I can pinch a lot of inches.

Then I also have days like Tuesday. I went out with a friend for a drink (only one glass of wine!) and she told me that she thought I looked about the same size as another girl in our roller derby league. I was shocked! That girl seems so much smaller to me than I do! It's made me wonder if all of those things I've heard about my weight and my body have distorted the way that I see myself. Maybe the world sees me as cute and fit and sexy, even when I feel bloated and pudgy and not sexy at all.

I don't really have an answer to your question of when your brain will catch up, but I hope it happens for both of us soon. Losing 40 lbs is SO AWESOME! You are doing amazing things for your health and your self esteem. I think all of those compliments you're getting will eventually help your brain get there. Good luck, and congrats on so much awesomeness thus far!

Honestly? I don't think ever...at least for me.

I'm trying to work on having other outlets besides my weight for me to be proud of. Things I can do with my body like complete races or lift heavy things. I will never feel good about my body all the time. But knowing what it can accomplish helps.

something i've noticed...

people will invest in their bodies. exercise, fuel, nurture.
then do nothing for their minds, yet still expect results.

Yes, you hit the nail on the head yourself. You said that mom's been giving you a lifetime of comments that you have been ignoring. But these comments can become incorperated into our personal scripts about ourselves. It took time to develop those scripts. It takes time to rewrite them.

i think a lot of us that have lost so much weight still look at ourselves in the mirror sometimes and see the old overweight us. i know that when i get done with my workout though, that i feel freakin good about myself! i love the way i look and the way i feel. New clothes help me out a lot too, now that i can actually look good in my clothes. just tell yourself you look awesome and be confident in yourself, and your mind will come around.

I think we all have these days every once in awhile. For me, exercising actually helps. My energy level increases and my mood is lifted almost immediately. I might still be overweight...BUT I FEEL LIKE THE SEXIEST PERSON ALIVE AFTER A WORKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This also reminds me of a conversation that i had with one of my friends who had gastric bypass. I lived with her right after her surgery and saw a few of her crying spells. She has told me before...'they work on your stomach, not your mind."

Changes in our lives affect us in all sorts of ways, not just our physical bodies.

You literally took my thoughts out of my head. I'm happy I'm not the only one that feels like this, I defiantly think it's because we become more aware of the areas we need to work on? I know for me I was in denial about what I really look like and instead of adding 10 pounds the damn camera adds about 75 lol. When all the denial is gone I'm just left with all my "rolls" ugh! Hang in there and 40 pounds is amazing!!! Congrats!

I think it probably varies from person to person, but it took me a very long time to realize I wasn't fat anymore. I started out as an 18/20, and even when I was wearing 4/6 jeans, I could not see it. Sure, over the course of losing the weight, I knew I was getting smaller, and there would be days when I thought I was super hot, and then the next day, I was back to thinking I was chubby.

Heavy lifting was probably the big turning point for me. It changed my body so rapidly that it actually made me really paranoid about people looking at me because my self-perception could not keep up with what was happening physically. But I slowly grew out of that and began to realize I was not the same person anymore. One mistake I made was not taking real progress photos. I think if you have photographic evidence of the transformation, it might make it easier for you to process mentally.

Thanks. I think this finally convinced me to do progress photos at least for my own use.

Congratulations on 40 pounds!

It's all in self awareness, I believe. I've lost 30 pounds and I feel like since I had to break down my wall of denial that I went ahead and acknowledged everything else that I saw wrong. Now my self esteem has tanked. I don't think it correlates with weight. Confidence comes from happiness!

I am in the same boat. Sometimes i feel good and other times i start feeling like crap and start thinking i have huge belly.
When i had a personal trainer my co-worker said you need a psychiatrist not a personal trainer.

I lost a lot of weight around 10 years ago, and I still haven't caught up mentally. I think probably because kids stared at me at school so much because I was so overweight, and now people stare at me in the street still. My friends say it's for good reasons, but it still makes me feel like crap. I'd prefer people not to stare at all

As other people have said, I think it's probably a self-esteem thing.

There are days/times/hours when I feel really, really proud about my progress....40 lbs is equivalent to a small child and I feel great about losing this (halfway to my ultimate goal). I've gone from a size 22-24 into a 16 and I'm almost out of the 200's with my weight, which almost makes me cry with joy.

My husband is super supportive and always complimentary...even my MOM (who's comments I've spent a lifetime ignoring) is complimentary.

Why do I sometimes feel like I haven't lost anything? I'm working on firming the flab, but sometimes I look at myself and I don't see any changes. I keep telling myself that I need to work harder, do more...something. When do my brain and self esteem catch up to reality?

I would like to know this too. I went from a size 18 to an 8/10 and I still feel really fat. I could stand to lose 30 more pounds since I have a small frame and should really be around a 2/4 but I feel just as fat now as I did when I was a size 18. No one in my life seems to understand why I feel this way. How long until we stop feeling fat?

Hi, I've only just started to try to lose weight again but have managed to lose alot of weight in the past. I remember feeling very low at times when I should have been over the moon with how well I had done. At the time, I thought this was because I was finally giving myself some attention and not focusing on other people all the time. I had spent years not looking in mirror etc and now I was having to confront and deal with all the reasons I was overweight. I made a real effort to get support from other people and have a more positive outlook. Although, I didn't manage to keep the weight off, I feel my head is in a much better place now. Wishing you loads of luck, you have done fantastic so far but you just need to keep reminding yourself.