HOW CAN I CHANGE MY WEAKNESS WITHOUT LOSING MY BESTFRIEND?

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  • Megs081211
    Megs081211 Posts: 150
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    I babysit for my best friend 4 days a week (unless something comes up). I'm always there at lunch time and twice a week befor 7 am. I bring food and while her house has a lot of junk food I don't eat anything if I haven't brought (or I guess in your case bought) it. It's just easier that way.
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
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    I don't want to sound blunt, but I have no will power for hot wings,pizza, and chocolate, so i just avoid them and any location they might be in. That whole "nothing tastes as good as thin feels" is soooo true
    If you are going over to her house take some fruit, beef jerky, or some other low cal snack
  • dedicationandcommitment
    dedicationandcommitment Posts: 222 Member
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    One of my most difficult things was to surround myself with safe places, people and things. A true friend will understand and want you to get healthy. When friends suggest going out to lunch I say "how about we connect after lunch time for a walk."

    I would never suggest to my friend who has one year of sobriety to meet me at my favorite pub.

    Treat yourself like you would want others to treat you. When I started standing up for myself I started loosing weight. I know it's hard and know I can't give advice but can share what worked/works for me.

    Shirley (in Oregon where it is raining)



    Thanks Ms. Shirley:)
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
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    My best friend is the same way! She eats like crap... I started cooking for her and she still eats crap, but now eats a HECK of a lot better then she did!

    now I have her accustom to asking me what I want to have while I stay there and provide her with a shopping list.

    She's awesome :)
  • dedicationandcommitment
    dedicationandcommitment Posts: 222 Member
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    Bring your own healthy treats.

    Sorry, but I think it would be ruid to go to someone's house and ask them to change what they have in the pantry.



    I would never ask anyone to change something about the way the live when I pay no bills at that resident lol
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    You have to have self-control. It's that simple. One day, you will decide that not being fat is more important than eating those foods. When that happens is up to you.
  • Melissa11412
    Melissa11412 Posts: 145 Member
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    I hate to say this, but you're going to have to want your new lifestyle more than you want the hot wings, choc and other snacks!! When you know you are going to be staying at her place for a few days, can you bring your own stuff (chopped veggies in baggies, plain greek yogurt mixed with a little dry ranch mix for dipping, a few premade meals in tupperware, couple pieces of fruit, etc)...if you can't work in a couple wings or a piece of choc without going all out, planning it out would probably be your best bet for right now. it isn't forever, and as you become accustomed to your new lifestyle you can venture out a bit and enjoy some treats here and there, log them and move on

    fail to plan, plan to fail....you gotta want it more than not. look at your username....dedicationandcommitment.....DOOOOO ITTTTTTT lol

    :flowerforyou:



    over doing it is not the problem...it's the nibble here and there and then do it again and then do it again over and over. Ughhhh this is getting difficult!!!!!!!!!

    back away from the wings....LOL :noway:
    maybe for right now it would be best to plan the meals and bring them along, plan it out in MFP so you're accountable. if you can handle a couple wings or a piece of chocolate, work it into the daily plan and be sure to keep up with your workouts. since this is our lifestyle change, it has to be something we can live with, something that is flexible and will still support our goals. otherwise it's just another fad diet that will eventually fail.
  • dedicationandcommitment
    dedicationandcommitment Posts: 222 Member
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    My best friend is the same way! She eats like crap... I started cooking for her and she still eats crap, but now eats a HECK of a lot better then she did!

    now I have her accustom to asking me what I want to have while I stay there and provide her with a shopping list.

    She's awesome :)



    No best friend will not change anything about the way she eats....she's the perfect size eating healthy does not matter to her
  • labeachgirl
    labeachgirl Posts: 158 Member
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    Stop by the store on the way to her place and get your own meals and snacks, she doesn't have to understand, it's just the way it is.
  • Pelly57
    Pelly57 Posts: 169 Member
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    Show up with groceries. Maybe even cook something yummy and healthy for the both of you. Enroll her help. "You know I think you are beautiful, and I want to get where you are. Can you help me while I stay with you?" A real friend will jump on the bandwagon.
  • dedicationandcommitment
    dedicationandcommitment Posts: 222 Member
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    Basically it sounds like I should start planning my meals before I go anywhere.
  • dedicationandcommitment
    dedicationandcommitment Posts: 222 Member
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    Show up with groceries. Maybe even cook something yummy and healthy for the both of you. Enroll her help. "You know I think you are beautiful, and I want to get where you are. Can you help me while I stay with you?" A real friend will jump on the bandwagon.




    Yeah I guess so but my friend doesn't care that I'm on a diet but she doesn't want me to push it on her.
  • anvacarz_again
    anvacarz_again Posts: 22
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    So, like the others said, you have to want this more.

    My dad is an alcoholic. And when he became sober, he always kept beer in the house as a "test". He said that if he couldn't remain sober with it in the house, he knew he wasn't really sober.

    I'm trying to keep this in mind in my own life. If you can't make the "right" decisions now in order to stay on track, then you aren't really making the changes needed. There will always be "something" in the way of your goals. You cannot live in a bubble. Go to your friend's home with a plan, eat beforehand, bring a healthy snack for you both. It's your problem, not hers.
  • mariabee
    mariabee Posts: 212 Member
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    Here's the thing, no one is ever going to understand why other people do what they do, in your case (along with most people on this site), changing your lifestyle to get healthier.

    It sounds like you have an answer for everything, when the bottom line is you only have to answer to yourself. Quit over-analyzing every morsel, enjoy what you enjoy in moderation, exercise your little butt off and just live your own life for you. No one needs to know diddly-squat about why you're doing this, and really, who cares if your friend doesn't "understand", if she respects you enough, she'll eventually get it, and if she doesn't, she doesn't. Life goes on.

    There are 8 million other things to stress out about with your friends, something that minor shouldn't make it or break it.

    Sorry if that's too blunt.
  • JessieNeutronGirlGenius
    JessieNeutronGirlGenius Posts: 268
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    I'm in the same boat girl! My best friend is 5'5 and about 200 pounds and shes VERY confident and happy where she is and I am envious of her confidence but she eats whatever she wants because she is happy that way. I'm not happy being where I am now and I want to be fit so it is hard.

    I've been eating before going to hang with her or if we go to lunch I make sure I pick a place or WE pick a place that I know I won't go for my "all time favorite meal" or something like that. I also try dropping hints to her that I'm eating healthy and she knows I am.

    I've tried getting her involved with me at the gym or whatever but she wants no part in it...but I keep pushing forward because I WANT to be healthy and fit and I can't let others bring me down.

    You can do it girl I know you can! If you ever need advice or a friend please feel free to message/add me!
  • dedicationandcommitment
    dedicationandcommitment Posts: 222 Member
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    Here's the thing, no one is ever going to understand why other people do what they do, in your case (along with most people on this site), changing your lifestyle to get healthier.

    It sounds like you have an answer for everything, when the bottom line is you only have to answer to yourself. Quit over-analyzing every morsel, enjoy what you enjoy in moderation, exercise your little butt off and just live your own life for you. No one needs to know diddly-squat about why you're doing this, and really, who cares if your friend doesn't "understand", if she respects you enough, she'll eventually get it, and if she doesn't, she doesn't. Life goes on.

    There are 8 million other things to stress out about with your friends, something that minor shouldn't make it or break it.

    Sorry if that's too blunt.




    Thank you for putting that so sweetly lol
  • dedicationandcommitment
    dedicationandcommitment Posts: 222 Member
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    I'm in the same boat girl! My best friend is 5'5 and about 200 pounds and shes VERY confident and happy where she is and I am envious of her confidence but she eats whatever she wants because she is happy that way. I'm not happy being where I am now and I want to be fit so it is hard.

    I've been eating before going to hang with her or if we go to lunch I make sure I pick a place or WE pick a place that I know I won't go for my "all time favorite meal" or something like that. I also try dropping hints to her that I'm eating healthy and she knows I am.

    I've tried getting her involved with me at the gym or whatever but she wants no part in it...but I keep pushing forward because I WANT to be healthy and fit and I can't let others bring me down.

    You can do it girl I know you can! If you ever need advice or a friend please feel free to message/add me!





    Thanks for help advice!!!!!!
  • Cskinner2
    Cskinner2 Posts: 16 Member
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    She is your best friend. Take some fresh snacks with you, veggies, etc. Maybe she will take a page from your book and joinm you in snacking healthy
  • loosesealbluth
    loosesealbluth Posts: 46 Member
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    Not sure if it's been suggested, but if you're super close with your best friend and hang out a lot, maybe see if you can go grocery shopping and keep some basic, healthy foods at her place. That way you won't feel as awkward as you might feel bringing over pre-made meals; you can go to the pantry and grab almonds or frozen fruit instead of chocolate – that kind of stuff.

    I'm vegetarian, picky, and on a tight budget, so I tend to keep a limited amount of a small variety of food at my apartment. Because of this, my best friend has a habit of keeping frozen veggies or different meats here; it helps her stay on track when she's here for longer than a couple of hours and I don't feel bad for not being able to better accommodate to her palate!
  • SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants
    SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants Posts: 474 Member
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    if she is your best friend, sit her down and talk to her. Explain all of that to her.


    She doesn't understand my reason for wanting to lose weight so I've chose to not tell her anything about it!!!

    Dont underestimate close loved ones sabotage...My ex would bring home KFC with chocolate cake everytime Id fill the house with fresh food and eat right. I fell off every time. Maybe your friend likes being the skinny one that can eat all she wants? Watch out! You changing leaves only a couple options for your loved ones, they're either going to support you and be of assistance or they are going to play dumb and drag you back down. Make friends with common interests. Dont be afraid to lose a friend, even a BEST friend if it means you life a full happy healthy life. This WHOLE thing is not just about losing weight (for me) its about DISCOVERING MY TRUE SELF. FEAR NOT. That drive of yours will take you all the way to your goal, and in the meantime I hope your friend has a really fast metabolism or good genetics because all that junk adds up!

    and btw, this is just a different perspective, not saying to kick your friend to the curb or even that she IS sabotaging you, just pointing out that we start journeys and we dont always get to take everyone with us. *hugs*

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