When does my self esteem catch up?

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  • MrsG2
    MrsG2 Posts: 56 Member
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    I really appreciate the feedback. I can say that when I was heavier I always had great self esteem...and not in a "faking it" kind of way. Maybe it was the last heavier picture I saw that deflated that a little. I do like the idea of taking progress pictures, maybe that's just what I need to really see me because I just see the old me in the mirror. I have also been hanging on to the old clothes, until I get to my goal. I'm sure this doesn't help my perception.

    I really like having the different points of view. THANK YOU!!!
  • TexNut
    TexNut Posts: 53
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    There are days/times/hours when I feel really, really proud about my progress....40 lbs is equivalent to a small child and I feel great about losing this (halfway to my ultimate goal). I've gone from a size 22-24 into a 16 and I'm almost out of the 200's with my weight, which almost makes me cry with joy.

    My husband is super supportive and always complimentary...even my MOM (who's comments I've spent a lifetime ignoring) is complimentary.

    Why do I sometimes feel like I haven't lost anything? I'm working on firming the flab, but sometimes I look at myself and I don't see any changes. I keep telling myself that I need to work harder, do more...something. When do my brain and self esteem catch up to reality?

    Congrats on all your progress thus far!! WOW! :D

    I think sometimes we get discouraged BECAUSE we've done so much...and still aren't "finished". Maintaining motivation or positive self-esteem is something a lot of us struggle with...may I suggest taking weekly measurements? The scale is not really our friend, and hardly reflects all the changes/progress you're making. Measurements are more telling. Progress pics maybe aren't a bad idea....but you gotta get rid of the "security blankets" (i.e. old clothes)!
  • blossomnu
    blossomnu Posts: 65 Member
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    I lost a lot of weight around 10 years ago, and I still haven't caught up mentally. I think probably because kids stared at me at school so much because I was so overweight, and now people stare at me in the street still. My friends say it's for good reasons, but it still makes me feel like crap. I'd prefer people not to stare at all :/

    As other people have said, I think it's probably a self-esteem thing.
  • mcibty
    mcibty Posts: 1,252 Member
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    I think most people on here, especially us girls, will admit to feeling the same.

    I was actually thinking only last night, straight after my workout, that I felt totally dejected. I'm lifting at home at the moment, so of course going back and forth from the mirror the whole time. Sometimes I feel like a fitness Goddess, other times I look and say 'why am I bothering?'. I think with patience comes self-esteem. No one, NO ONE, wakes up every single day, punches the air and says 'YES, I LOOK GOOOOOD!' (well, maybe some).

    I'd say focus on what you've achieved. You started your post with the right mental attitude. You've done a hell of a lot. I don't know you, and I admire you, I know how far I've come, and you've done more than that. Think about how proud you are to get to this point, and be excited that you're still doing it.

    Add me if you like :) All the best!
  • Mjhnbgff
    Mjhnbgff Posts: 112
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    There are days/times/hours when I feel really, really proud about my progress....40 lbs is equivalent to a small child and I feel great about losing this (halfway to my ultimate goal). I've gone from a size 22-24 into a 16 and I'm almost out of the 200's with my weight, which almost makes me cry with joy.

    My husband is super supportive and always complimentary...even my MOM (who's comments I've spent a lifetime ignoring) is complimentary.

    Why do I sometimes feel like I haven't lost anything? I'm working on firming the flab, but sometimes I look at myself and I don't see any changes. I keep telling myself that I need to work harder, do more...something. When do my brain and self esteem catch up to reality?

    I would like to know this too. I went from a size 18 to an 8/10 and I still feel really fat. I could stand to lose 30 more pounds since I have a small frame and should really be around a 2/4 but I feel just as fat now as I did when I was a size 18. No one in my life seems to understand why I feel this way. How long until we stop feeling fat?
  • NikAtNight82
    NikAtNight82 Posts: 55 Member
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    I read somewhere that it can take up to a year for every ten pounds you lose for your emotional self to recognize or acclimate to the loss. I whole heartedly agree with the "fake it till you make it" notion. But sometimes it can be really hard. Especially if body dismorphia is involved. Example I knew I was overweight and needed to do something about it yet always felt like in the mirror I wasn't that bad. It isn't until I see the BIG picture in photographs :( where I would be shocked and disgusted with myself. I've been dedicated to changing my way of life for the past three months and if anything my rose tinted glasses seem shattered. I am losing weight and looking better but I see my flaws more than ever. Is it just a byproduct of accepting the problem of my weight as something I can change and losing the buffer of denial? I don't know, but my confidence needs just as much work as my body.
  • happymum37
    happymum37 Posts: 95 Member
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    Hi, I've only just started to try to lose weight again but have managed to lose alot of weight in the past. I remember feeling very low at times when I should have been over the moon with how well I had done. At the time, I thought this was because I was finally giving myself some attention and not focusing on other people all the time. I had spent years not looking in mirror etc and now I was having to confront and deal with all the reasons I was overweight. I made a real effort to get support from other people and have a more positive outlook. Although, I didn't manage to keep the weight off, I feel my head is in a much better place now. Wishing you loads of luck, you have done fantastic so far but you just need to keep reminding yourself.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    do any of you ever think about therapy or counselling? or perhaps even medication? at the very least, self help books written by respected professionals?

    if mental and emotional issues are stopping you from living happy & fulfilling lives then you shouldn't just ignore them in the hope they'll fix themselves.

    the only regret i have ever had about investing in my mental and emotional health? leaving it so long before i sought help.
  • MrsG2
    MrsG2 Posts: 56 Member
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    My self esteem isn't so much the issue as my mind's eye. I feel good, I'm definitely proud, but there are times when I just don't "see" myself and it can bring me down just a bit....but I always pop back. I really think progress pictures are going to help!
  • MrsG2
    MrsG2 Posts: 56 Member
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    I think most people on here, especially us girls, will admit to feeling the same.

    I was actually thinking only last night, straight after my workout, that I felt totally dejected. I'm lifting at home at the moment, so of course going back and forth from the mirror the whole time. Sometimes I feel like a fitness Goddess, other times I look and say 'why am I bothering?'. I think with patience comes self-esteem. No one, NO ONE, wakes up every single day, punches the air and says 'YES, I LOOK GOOOOOD!' (well, maybe some).

    I'd say focus on what you've achieved. You started your post with the right mental attitude. You've done a hell of a lot. I don't know you, and I admire you, I know how far I've come, and you've done more than that. Think about how proud you are to get to this point, and be excited that you're still doing it.

    Add me if you like :) All the best!

    ahh...good ol' patience. It's a virtue, right?
  • labeachgirl
    labeachgirl Posts: 158 Member
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    Maybe you need more non scale victories, like wearing a smaller size to help you acknowledge your smaller size.

    If you can't get the self esteem from one area in your life, work on getting it from another area like the work part and/or the creative part - like sewing, drawing, knitting - that gives you a sense of accomplishment.
  • heytherelameman
    heytherelameman Posts: 76 Member
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    I lost over 100 lbs from 2006-2008 and this happened to me. I saw fat everywhere on my body. I would tell myself I am still the same fat girl even though I was wearing medium shirts and size 12 pants (I have a large frame so that's an awesome size to be at). I didn't want people to look at me. I met my (now husband) and despite his support, I was already on the track to gain it back... which I did. All of it plus more.

    I will lose the weight again, but I worry sooooo much that I will hate myself yet again and gain it back! I have been celebrating any victory I have (even giving up pop!) and reminding myself that I am pretty awesome.

    I want that girl from my ticker pic back again... and I don't want her to leave. :)

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