anyone else have a picky eater

I don't mean this critically, but I get the impression you don't know much about kids. A kid that asks to snack all the time is totally normal. Think about when you were a kid. You probably had breakfast, a snack at school, lunch at school, a snack when you can home, dinner, and probably desert or another snack in the evening, or maybe both. You eat less at meals, but more often. An 8 year old needs like 1500-1800 calories, depending on their size and activity level. Depending on your dietary goals, this kid could easily be eating hundreds of calories more than you every day.

Also, kids have different taste palettes than adults. It isn't until teen years that they start to develop the ability to taste foods like you do. Sweet is one thing that tastes really good to them. Onions, generally, are not. I don't know many kids who like onions, even of they are good eaters. So, for example, with those green beans you made, you could either leave them out so everyone is happy (green beans are perfectly healthy, after all, without the onions) or you could cut the onions big enough to easily pick out or you can leave part of the dish without onions. I thinkits reasonable to serve him dinner and expect that he tries it. You can even have a rule that he has to eat five bites of something before he decides if he likes it or not. Just don't be surprised when there are things he dislikes. Just as there are plenty of things you probably dislike too. You arent asking a lot to have him eat healthy meals with the family, but you are kind of asking a lot if you arent willing to compromise at all. If he doesn't like quiche, but will happily eat omelets without complaint, I'd say pick your battles.

I'd also enforce a rule that he can't call things gross or disgusting. Its rude to people who enjoy those things. Instead, he can say he doesn't care for it or something similar.
As for snacks, let him have one sweet treat (or maybe two mini ones) per day. Other than that, keep a variety of snacks that you don't mind having, but it can't really be just fruit. String cheese, flavored rice cakes, crackers and peanut butter, animal crackers, popcorn, goldfish crackers, pretzels, popsicles, pudding packs or jello, trail/snack mix, etc. If you're concerned about you and your husbands self control, parcel it all out into individual serving sizes for him in snack-sized zip lock baggies. When he gets one, your husband will be less inclined to snack because the kid will probably be less inclined to share.

Just keep in mind he is a kid. Regardless of what he is eating, he isn't accountable for what you and your husband choose to eat. By which I mean, if he and your husband choose to eat ice cream out of the container in bed every night, it isn't his fault if you get a spoon and do it too.

The snacking thing is normal for kids - especially for growing boys. Cut him some slack in that area.

As far as everything else, you set the rules. He eats what is served, and if he doesn't, he doesn't get snacks later. You can also set a rule that he gets only 1 "treat" food per day and has to eat plenty of other healthy stuff too.

he tasted some of it but this is a nightly thing it drives me crazy . he takes a few bites says he doesnt like it and then less than an hour later wants a snack. some people cater to picky eaters and i refuse to do that . i cook one dinner and you eat it and thats it im not going to seperate certain things out and cook them seperatly or serve multiple dinners my life is to busy to do that and personally i cant stand it when people do that to there kids . its pretty simple this is dinner the end ! he tells me dont put this on his food or dont do that i cook everything together and the whole meal is seasoned together so he has to learn to eat it. im constantly stuck fighting with him to eat and have to yell to my hubby who is usually in the other room by this time to back me up.