'All or Nothing' Eating
whatsallthisthen
Posts: 35 Member
I have noticed this is a reoccurring theme in posts, something that causes a great deal of frustration for others and for myself as well.
That is, that if you aren't on your perfect/ideal eating plan(for that day or week or, hell, month) that all progress you've made is lost so 'screw it no point in trying now.' This happens with me when I go over on calories, and am somehow able to justify that, since I've 'messed up' the 'day is ruined' and I then will eat in (sometimes ridiculous)excess.
Something I've heard today(forgot what post) that I heard was incredibly inspiring.
"If you drop an egg, do you throw the other 11 down on the ground too?" The strong logic of this analogy helps me realize the folly of being all in or all out of maintaining a healthier way of eating.
Do you ever struggle with this?
Please share some of your tips to help me and all of us break this cycle of 'All or nothing' eating.
That is, that if you aren't on your perfect/ideal eating plan(for that day or week or, hell, month) that all progress you've made is lost so 'screw it no point in trying now.' This happens with me when I go over on calories, and am somehow able to justify that, since I've 'messed up' the 'day is ruined' and I then will eat in (sometimes ridiculous)excess.
Something I've heard today(forgot what post) that I heard was incredibly inspiring.
"If you drop an egg, do you throw the other 11 down on the ground too?" The strong logic of this analogy helps me realize the folly of being all in or all out of maintaining a healthier way of eating.
Do you ever struggle with this?
Please share some of your tips to help me and all of us break this cycle of 'All or nothing' eating.
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Replies
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I struggle with this ALL the time. When I do "drop the egg" so to speak, I not only throw the rest on the floor, but have a hard time forgiving myself. Sometimes a "bad" day can turn into several bad days for me. I'm trying REALLY hard to focus on the 90% 10%... where I eat healthy and well most of the time and then splurge now and then... but it is REALLY hard for me. I'm struggling with this today.
Good luck to you! I hope you figure out someway to stop the vicious cycle. I'm trying to do the same myself.
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a Lot of people lose sight of the fact that when they "go over", they have usually gone over goal calories but not total energy needs, so they're still eating a deficit, just a slightly smaller deficit.0
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I struggle less with this now than I used to. Last week, I had two days in the gain zone and a third over my calorie goal, and I still had a good loss thanks to the four days I managed to behave. It's never hopeless. Even a small deficit will result in a loss for the week, and that's always better than gaining.0
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That's an interesting point sullus. It's hard to recall that a 500 cal deficit is just that, and by eating 500 over your reduced calories, you really are just at maintenance.
Positive way to look at it.0 -
http://www.wannabebig.com/diet-and-nutrition/the-dirt-on-clean-eating/All-or-Nothing Dieting & Eating Disorder Risk
In 1997, a general physician named Steven Bratman coined the term orthorexia nervosa [21], which he defines as, “an unhealthy obsession with eating healthy food.” It reminds me of the counterproductive dietary perfectionism I’ve seen among many athletes, trainers, and coaches. One of the fundamental pitfalls of dichotomizing foods as good or bad, or clean or dirty, is that it can form a destructive relationship with food. This isn’t just an empty claim; it’s been seen in research. Smith and colleagues found that flexible dieting was associated with the absence of overeating, lower bodyweight, and the absence of depression and anxiety [22]. They also found that a strict all-or-nothing approach to dieting was associated with overeating and increased bodyweight. Similarly, Stewart and colleagues found that rigid dieting was associated with symptoms of an eating disorder, mood disturbances, and anxiety [23]. Flexible dieting was not highly correlated with these qualities. Although these are observational study designs with self-reported data, anyone who spends enough time among fitness buffs knows that these findings are not off the mark.0 -
MFP is set at 1200, so if I go over, I'm maintaining not gaining. And it's ok,0
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I know it isn't the majority, but there is a small subset of people who actually thrive on all-or-nothing, 100% dedication, anything less than total commitment is failure. These people also tend to do well with the "clean" eating approach. For the people who are wired this way, this approach works very well for them and they *will* reach their goal (even if it kills them). (Of course, they also tend to have more heart attacks and stress-related illnesses later in their lives too.)
As one of these Type A people myself, just thought I'd throw that little nugget out there early in this discussion.
So anyhow...
In...
...for where this thread is going.0 -
have you ever seen the book "eat this not that"? I find that the idea of just making modifications and being able to live with the modification long term is better than trying to live on a overly tight control that will set yoiu up for failure in the long run. another way of looking at it is damage control. If I was good all day then eat an unhealthy food. I tell myself to reign it in and try to minimalize the numbewr of extra calories. Sometimes the all or nothing is a self defeating way of giving yourself permission to just go crazy. I lve the analogy of the dropped egg. Good luck on your life long change in lifestyle.0
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Yep, a lot. I definitely have binge tendencies, and I'm an all or nothing person in pretty much all aspects of my life (not just eating). Ultimately it comes down to my awareness of the problem and my own self control to keep it from happening.0
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This used to happen to me whenever i would go on a diet. It doesn't happen anymore. Maybe because I'm no longer 'on' a diet (usually too low cal consisting of the usual 'diet' foods or super low carb) but following the whole lifestyle change philosophy. Not sure that's it but I've had days where I eat more at lunch than I would have liked and it no longer leads to the rest of the day stuffing my face with anything and everything until I fee ill. Maybe I just hit a maturity milestone in my life. I wish I could give a definitive answer but I can't.
I hope it happens for you someday and everyone else that struggles with this.0 -
bump0
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i had to stop sabotaging myself.....i struggled with that "all or nothing" nutrition mentality for a long time. i would do really "well" on my nutrition, then have some hot wings, or a cookie at work, then my mentality would say "eff it, i blew it for the day, might as well go all out".....then feel bad for going all out, then comfort myself by having 2, 3 or 7 more "food comforting" days, then get back on the hamster wheel of beating myself up by restricting calories. Lather, rinse, repeat. Sigh.
Bolstered by other's posts on MFP, I eased a few goodies slowly into my diet, logged them, made sure they fit in my macros and KEPT IT MOVING. I'm still losing!! It was hard to change my mentality at first. Uncomfortable to have 2 cookies, log them, then continue on smartly. But practice helps a lot. I feel a whole lot more comfortable looking at this as a lifestyle adjustment, not a diet.
Having the goodies I like within moderation keeps the bingeing at bay for me. Plus, I have a free day on Sundays. I still eat my little cheaties but i'm no longer GORGING out on them! Hooray and thank goodness I found something that works for me.0 -
I read that quote earlier and loved it too!
I have that same problem when I visit family. My parents still eat a TON of fast food and definitely do not watch portion sizes. I just enjoy myself while I'm with them (I only see them once or twice every 2 months) and get right back to healthy habits when I get home.
I guess it helps that I haven't cut anything out of my diet completely. I don't feel guilty when I eat a particular item, only if I eat too much and physically feel sick. If there's a healhier option that I actually like, then great. If not however, I don't deprive myself. For me, deprivation is the quickest path to a binge.0 -
I thought this way about pretty much all aspects of my life in my 20s and have slowly learned that balance is important. A similar "all or nothing" attitude towards work is what turned me into the stressed out blob I was in my early 30s. I eat a reasonable diet now but I'm drinking a beer while I write this. I'm willing to make some sacrifices and put in some hard work but I'm not willing to give up social events with friends or the relaxation and enjoyment that comes with having a drink or eating certain foods.0
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I tend to take very broad views of things. I don't really get wrapped up in minutia...one day is just that...it's one day of many days. For me, it's about how I'm livin' most of the time...it's not about the minutia of an isolated event. I know that, for example, if someone eats crap all of the time, except on Monday they get their 6 servings of veg, have some fruit, and eat some fish and go for a run that this doesn't make them a healthy or fit person...it's an isolated event for them. Similarly, one day of indulgence or crappy food or whatever doesn't make me unhealthy or unfit or undo all of my nutrition and fitness that happened during the rest of the week. It's all about the big picture for me.0
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All or nothing used to be my mentality until I started logging my all days and realized just how much I was eating over! I'm talking easily eating over 1500 calories in one day! Now if I go over a little and don't have time to squeeze in an extra workout, I tell myself that I would rather be over 100 calories then 1500.0
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All just good points. It's damned hard to change this way of thinking but it's totally possible.0
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Accept cheat meals!
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One thing that helps me is remembering that even if I stop counting calories, calories never stop counting. So just because I went over my goal I most certainly shouldn't continue going over because my day is "ruined", the calories still add up.0
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This is a big thing for me. One thing that really helps me is to look at my calories for the whole week, not just the day. My tendency is, when I feel like I've messed up for the day, is to mess it up with a vengeance. Keeping in mind the whole week, though, means that I screw up today, compensate for it tomorrow (or over the next few days if need be).0
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This has always been one of my biggest battles, because of the way I view my eating. I have been on a lot of diets, which all demanded that I eat certain things, label other things as "bad," never go above "x" amount of calories, etc. I still struggle, but I've made major improvements by adjusting my outlook. I don't use the word "diet" because of the negative connotation it carries, and the way it sets me up for mental failures (which, for me, lead to binges). Instead, I have adopted a healthier lifestyle. This allows everything in moderation, encourages exercise for health, and eliminates the pressure associated with diets. It's also helped me to educate myself on water weight, daily fluctuations, BMR, etc. A year ago, if I saw a gain on the scale, I'd contribute it to the cookie (yes singular!) that I had yesterday and give up. And finally, when I still find myself struggling with the all-or-nothing thinking, I force myself to look at my progress. It really helps put things in perspective, especially since I have such a long way to go. Hope this helps 0
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This has been one of the biggest struggles I have had during my past weightloss attempts. But for me it's also that if I eat something that is unhealthy, my body craves the unhealthy stuff. I actually have to fight myself in order to get back on track after a bad day. One bad meal is usually not that bad for me but if I have a day where I eat what I want to eat it takes a lot of effort for me to get back on track.0
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I can be all or nothing too, and very goal oriented. I find that it's lessened as I've gotten older, but still rears its head and it's the pattern I'm comfortable with.
Some things that have worked for me: I forgive myself right away and get right back on track, I don't wait for Monday, or tomorrow, or even the next meal. Also, I don't keep what I call "trigger foods" around. There are some foods that I just am not ready to handle and I know that I don't have great control around them and they have the potential to set me off in that all or nothing spiral. And I try to step back and look more at the big picture of things. My goal is better health, losing weight is a byproduct of that. So I ask myself will this food accomplish my big picture goal?
I love your egg analogy, I'll remember that!0 -
My tendency is, when I feel like I've messed up for the day, is to mess it up with a vengeance.
This so much.
One thing that has helped(in the short amount of time I have been here) is to LOG EVERYTHING. I used to go over, eat 2000 calories in a meal after giving up, and out of shame/horror never record it. This was true folly because it never showed me my true ways, but also I came to realize it was a way of me avoiding responsibility.
Now, if I eat a box of Fruit Loops.... dammit I LOG that box of fruit loops.0 -
It would be impossible to always eat within weightless or maintenance calories. What about Christmas dinner, dining out with friends, weddings, parties etc etc.... If you give yourself the impossible goal of sticking to your calorie limit every single day, then on a day you go over its easy to think 'I've blown it now is my chance to just eat everything I've wanted to all week as I've already failed...' however, if you say, 5 days a week I stick to my limit and 2 days are 'free' days, then by giving yourself that freedom, you don't always want or need to go over calories. It's because we think 'oh we've been 'bad' I've failed etc etc...' Instead of thinking, it's ok, it's allowed, I'm living life! Hope that makes sense 0
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http://www.wannabebig.com/diet-and-nutrition/the-dirt-on-clean-eating/All-or-Nothing Dieting & Eating Disorder Risk
In 1997, a general physician named Steven Bratman coined the term orthorexia nervosa [21], which he defines as, “an unhealthy obsession with eating healthy food.” It reminds me of the counterproductive dietary perfectionism I’ve seen among many athletes, trainers, and coaches. One of the fundamental pitfalls of dichotomizing foods as good or bad, or clean or dirty, is that it can form a destructive relationship with food. This isn’t just an empty claim; it’s been seen in research. Smith and colleagues found that flexible dieting was associated with the absence of overeating, lower bodyweight, and the absence of depression and anxiety [22]. They also found that a strict all-or-nothing approach to dieting was associated with overeating and increased bodyweight. Similarly, Stewart and colleagues found that rigid dieting was associated with symptoms of an eating disorder, mood disturbances, and anxiety [23]. Flexible dieting was not highly correlated with these qualities. Although these are observational study designs with self-reported data, anyone who spends enough time among fitness buffs knows that these findings are not off the mark.
Wow! I had never heard the term "orthorexia nervosa" before but it sounds exactly like me last year. When I first changed my diet habits, I went to the extreme, became obsessed with eating only healthy food and had a nervous breakdown over an non-organic avocado. I had to let go of the "clean versus dirty" food mindset. I'm much healthier (mentally!) now by eating 80% healthy and allowing myself to not stress over treats. I eat chocolate everyday, have lost 21lbs in 3 month and I'm happier!0 -
Let's say one day you eat around 500 calories over. That will not reverse any of your efforts, because that will be the average amount of calories you need to maintain your weight. No, that day will not have been a contribution for your weight loss progression, although you won't "ruin" anything, it's more like stalling your weight loss one more day.
If you ate much more than 500 calories, then it's no big deal. People have to realize this. I know cause I've had this issue in the past but don't let it bother me anymore. Your analogy was spot on. Dropping 11 more eggs will only do more harm. If you want to continue losing weight, just hop back on the wagon asap and the most important thing.....
*DON'T WORRY!!*0 -
I read somewhere on here that 'it's never too late to change.' Even if you binge in the morning, that's no excuse to spend the rest of the day binging and 'start over the next day.' You'll just keep on piling the pounds.0
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I am going to admit right now that sometimes if I go over my calorie goal for the day, I am more likely to go over more. Like, last night I was 100 calories over so I decided, what the hell, I'll have a piece of cake. It was a small piece of cake and I enjoyed it a lot, but it's just one of those psychological things.0
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YES. I do much better with trying to stay away from certain things. I'm not good about doing all things in moderation!0
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