Eating disorders...Am I developing one?

i think your just having a rough time, i dont think you have a disorder. but im not an md.

You need to get past the whole "good food vs. bad food" thing. I've been down this road, and it does not lead to happy places. The last time I tried to lose weight, I also went for the all or nothing approach. I ended up doing the same things your describing, eventually escalating it to the point where I was eating about 300 calories a day because I was so panicked about eating "bad" foods that I just stopped eating any foods. After six months of this, I started feeling ill, getting headaches, feeling fatigued all the time, the works. When I finally started eating again, slungshot from eating nothing to eating all the things. My metabolism had been shot by starving myself for so long, and it took several years to fix. During the course of trying to get things back on track, I gained about 100 lbs, which is more than I lost in the first place. This time, I've gone slower and fixed my unhealthy relationship with food. I don't forbid myself anything, I just track my calories and my macros. If I splurge one day, I don't stress it because I know I will be back to normal the next day. I don't think you're developing an eating disorder, but it does look like your letting yourself get into an unhealthy mindset with regards to food. Try to figure out why you fear food. For me, it was because I was always expected to eat everything on my plate as a child, and anything anyone else didn't eat. I wasn't given a choice, and it didn't matter whether I was full, my father didn't want the food going to waste and I had to eat it (he was trying to bulk me up for football, but forcing lots of unbalanced foods down my throat and not exercising was not working). I became convinced that I couldn't eat anything without eating all of it, so not eating at all was the only way I could lose weight. If you have someone you can talk to about this, all the better. Talking through it might help you wrap your head around it. When you find yourself not wanting to eat, ask yourself why not. As long as you have calories left over and room in your macros, eating "unhealthy" food won't hurt you. Yes, you should strive to eat fresh, whole foods, but it's better to eat pizza than to starve. A lot of times, if you can say what you're thinking about not eating out loud, you can see that it doesn't make sense and get past it. Good luck and remember, the MFP community is here to help.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthorexia_nervosa

I think that sounds like what you are going through

You sound more focused than obsessed but don't forget that if you are active, your body might need a bit more. I pay close attention to the 'extra' calories that MFP allocates when I log any exercise and use them.

I like to try and stay near the MFP pie chart in terms of fats/carbs/protein but recognise I like treats. Fact. And I factor them in too on the basis that I could always cut them out in future if it looked like they were a problem. I am still losing weight so the chocolate, cheese, wine and desserts now and then seem OK! (And are great for morale).

I am not a nutritionist but do have a (random) personal view that since humans were designed to eat what they could get (hunt/grow) that probably very little is off an omnivore's menu in the sense that our bodies can turn whatever we put in into fuel. I believe that a US academic proved that you could lose weight just by eating chocolate to a daily calorie limit. Sounds yuk, but your body will do the work if you keep putting in the right amount so go easy on the 'rules' - good luck!