Mental NSV!
neilegni
Posts: 36
I had an incident today.
I was riding my bike to the grocery store, and on my ride back, I rode past a 11-13 year old girl, who, as I was riding by, yelled "JIGGLY!"
I almost posted this on the motivation and support thread, but then I thought about it a different way. I didn't stop pedaling. I want to turn around and wheel back and say...what? There's nothing TO say. I've been trying to fend of feelings of hurt or anger all night because a junior high girl's comments just aren't worth it--but I have been upset. And I think I've gotten to the root of it.
I'm not upset that she called me "jiggly". I AM jiggly. It's not a secret. I don't care that other people heard her call me jiggly, because if they looked at me riding my bike, then they probably noticed that I'm fat. It's okay.
No, what made me really mad, and is still making me mad, is that this person thought she had any right to comment on my body. What I look like is none of her business, and whether I weight 100 lbs or 1000 lbs, I should be able to be out in public doing something I enjoy without worrying that someone is going to yell after me trying to hurt me.
Before, this comment would have sent me in one of two directions. Either it would ruin my self esteem and I would think "she's right. I am jiggly. I shouldn't (bike/walk/run/etc) until I'm skinny. I'm so useless". Or I would think "that kid thinks I'm jiggly?? Then eff her and make yourself NOT jiggly! That will show her!"
Both of those reactions turn my anger around onto myself--but neither of those reactions are for MY benefit. Those are both to please other people, and when it comes to my body and weight, the only person's happiness I care about now is my own.
It's been a long, long road to get to this place where I don't care if someone calls me names. I'm not 100% happy with the way my body looks, but I don't hate myself as much as I used to and I think this is a much healthier way to approach weight loss. I'm not trying to lose weight because I think that it will make me LIKE myself--I'll still be the same person in a different body. I think that for this weight loss journey to be healthy and sane, I need to get to a place where I like myself the way I am, and I think I'm starting to get there and THAT is the best NSV I could ever hope for
I was riding my bike to the grocery store, and on my ride back, I rode past a 11-13 year old girl, who, as I was riding by, yelled "JIGGLY!"
I almost posted this on the motivation and support thread, but then I thought about it a different way. I didn't stop pedaling. I want to turn around and wheel back and say...what? There's nothing TO say. I've been trying to fend of feelings of hurt or anger all night because a junior high girl's comments just aren't worth it--but I have been upset. And I think I've gotten to the root of it.
I'm not upset that she called me "jiggly". I AM jiggly. It's not a secret. I don't care that other people heard her call me jiggly, because if they looked at me riding my bike, then they probably noticed that I'm fat. It's okay.
No, what made me really mad, and is still making me mad, is that this person thought she had any right to comment on my body. What I look like is none of her business, and whether I weight 100 lbs or 1000 lbs, I should be able to be out in public doing something I enjoy without worrying that someone is going to yell after me trying to hurt me.
Before, this comment would have sent me in one of two directions. Either it would ruin my self esteem and I would think "she's right. I am jiggly. I shouldn't (bike/walk/run/etc) until I'm skinny. I'm so useless". Or I would think "that kid thinks I'm jiggly?? Then eff her and make yourself NOT jiggly! That will show her!"
Both of those reactions turn my anger around onto myself--but neither of those reactions are for MY benefit. Those are both to please other people, and when it comes to my body and weight, the only person's happiness I care about now is my own.
It's been a long, long road to get to this place where I don't care if someone calls me names. I'm not 100% happy with the way my body looks, but I don't hate myself as much as I used to and I think this is a much healthier way to approach weight loss. I'm not trying to lose weight because I think that it will make me LIKE myself--I'll still be the same person in a different body. I think that for this weight loss journey to be healthy and sane, I need to get to a place where I like myself the way I am, and I think I'm starting to get there and THAT is the best NSV I could ever hope for
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Replies
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I can't believe how rude kids can be sometimes! That's a terrible comment that she made, but your outlook is truly inspirational! I hope some day soon I'll be able to think like you do:flowerforyou:0
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Yes. Yes. Yes!!0
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I love your attitude and the way you handled the situation. You are ah-mazing! Friend request sent. :flowerforyou:0 -
Awesome mind set. I out this on my status today.
Tonight I was out for a walk though the neighborhood. I found myself walking down different roads as I did not want to walk by houses where there were grad parties. I walked past one house where I could hear music, but didn't see anyone. I got about three houses away and heard something, but I couldn't hear what. Then I heard some young boys, probably 11/12 yelling "fatty, fatty to by for". I thought about flipping them off, but kept walking. Then I heard "you better take up jogging to get ride of that fat quicker". I thought to myself "they should of saw me 62 pounds ago". Not quite sure what I will take away from this experience. Thanks for helping me know that i made a mental victory today!!0 -
Just remember, in X weeks you'll be thin/thinner/goal weight
They will still be rude and insensitive.
Some things you just can't change0 -
:flowerforyou:0
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I don't know that I could have let that go , My goodness where were their parents? I would sure teach my child a lesson if I heard any of my children do that to anyone -even at the age they are now. How aweful .0
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Awesome mind set. I out this on my status today.
Tonight I was out for a walk though the neighborhood. I found myself walking down different roads as I did not want to walk by houses where there were grad parties. I walked past one house where I could hear music, but didn't see anyone. I got about three houses away and heard something, but I couldn't hear what. Then I heard some young boys, probably 11/12 yelling "fatty, fatty to by for". I thought about flipping them off, but kept walking. Then I heard "you better take up jogging to get ride of that fat quicker". I thought to myself "they should of saw me 62 pounds ago". Not quite sure what I will take away from this experience. Thanks for helping me know that i made a mental victory today!!
You should be very proud of yourself because it would have been easy to lower yourself to their level but you didn't, instead you kept your head up and stood strong which makes you the better person.
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I had an incident today.
I was riding my bike to the grocery store, and on my ride back, I rode past a 11-13 year old girl, who, as I was riding by, yelled "JIGGLY!"
I almost posted this on the motivation and support thread, but then I thought about it a different way. I didn't stop pedaling. I want to turn around and wheel back and say...what? There's nothing TO say. I've been trying to fend of feelings of hurt or anger all night because a junior high girl's comments just aren't worth it--but I have been upset. And I think I've gotten to the root of it.
I'm not upset that she called me "jiggly". I AM jiggly. It's not a secret. I don't care that other people heard her call me jiggly, because if they looked at me riding my bike, then they probably noticed that I'm fat. It's okay.
No, what made me really mad, and is still making me mad, is that this person thought she had any right to comment on my body. What I look like is none of her business, and whether I weight 100 lbs or 1000 lbs, I should be able to be out in public doing something I enjoy without worrying that someone is going to yell after me trying to hurt me.
Before, this comment would have sent me in one of two directions. Either it would ruin my self esteem and I would think "she's right. I am jiggly. I shouldn't (bike/walk/run/etc) until I'm skinny. I'm so useless". Or I would think "that kid thinks I'm jiggly?? Then eff her and make yourself NOT jiggly! That will show her!"
Both of those reactions turn my anger around onto myself--but neither of those reactions are for MY benefit. Those are both to please other people, and when it comes to my body and weight, the only person's happiness I care about now is my own.
It's been a long, long road to get to this place where I don't care if someone calls me names. I'm not 100% happy with the way my body looks, but I don't hate myself as much as I used to and I think this is a much healthier way to approach weight loss. I'm not trying to lose weight because I think that it will make me LIKE myself--I'll still be the same person in a different body. I think that for this weight loss journey to be healthy and sane, I need to get to a place where I like myself the way I am, and I think I'm starting to get there and THAT is the best NSV I could ever hope for
Reading over what you wrote should make it a lot easier to like yourself because you're worth it remember that!0 -
Wow you are amazing! You said it so perfectly in your words. You are in control of how you want to feel and happiness is the mind set you choose to have and fight for and deserve to feel. That kid did not have any right to judge and hurt your well being. Congrats on this NSV of reflecting through this and seeing how you are not what other judge you as. You love yourself and people are going to say what they want, but you are your own best expert and we can choose to listen to them or listen to ourselves. Our opinion of us should matter more. Continue doing a great job girl. 0
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:flowerforyou: Well done with regards to how you dealt with this! It's bad enough when we hear the people that are rude enough to say them...it's worse when we say them to ourselves!0
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I am so proud of you! When I was in college, I was putting letters up on the marquis outside the arts center, and some a-hole in a truck yelled "fat a**" as he drove by. I'd been having a good day that day, and it just ruined it.
Now I ask: What joy did he glean, REALLY glean, from that moment?
He didn't. He probably forgot about me by the time he reached his destination.
So why did he feel so compelled to lean out his window (perhaps having to roll it down first), slow down, and yell at a complete stranger??
I had only just begun to gain weight at that point. I was diagnosed with PCOS and insulin resistance, and my body just ballooned over the next two years. I quit dancing, I quit caring, and I started REALLY eating.
I'll be 35 in a few weeks. And it has taken me this long to view those people with pity. Their lives are so shredded, and their self-worth so distorted that they feel like lashing out will make them feel better. Such a pity.0 -
You are so right! No matter what anyone looks like, they deserve to operate in public without harassment of any kind. I love that you chose how to feel about the incident, even if it took some amount of time.
While you may be jiggly now, your body has absolutely no bearing on who you are as a person. Additionally, yay for biking! Being more active helps us all to have a healthier and longer life, which is far more important that the level of "jiggly" that may or may not exist on our bodies.0 -
Your attitude is the key! Wishing you much success.
I would have ignored the little rotten child, but I would have thought in my head "I might be jiggly, but I'm working on it, you're stuck with your ugly attitude forever."0 -
Thank you guys all so much for your support and for sharing your stories!
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Your experience and the positive way you turned it around is truly inspiring!!! It was a reminder to me to hold my head up with pride and keep moving when folks stare while I am working out. Keep up the awesome job!0
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My daughter once said i have a jiggly butt, which i never realized and thought i actually had a decent butt. I love her so much and know she was just teasin' but I have it at the back of my mind still.0
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I love your attitude! You have to do it for yourself, and you should love your body during the process. Then, you are pretty much unstoppable.
There will always be mean people that put their negativity where it doesn't belong. Not letting it get to you means that they don't win classy move. 0 -
Thank you for sharing your story. Your positive attitude is an inspiration.0
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