Time for Change

Well you sound as if you are on the right track. Just keep in mind what you have accomplished and not what you have not. I tell myself everyday the one thing I have control over is what I put in my mouth. You can do it and do it for you!

Hey, what matters is you take care of yourself. Sorry to hear about your breakup. I have been married for 13yrs
and believe me it has not been easy. The right person would stick it out through thick and thin literaly and all the ups and downs.
Take the time and focus on yourself and try to be happy and look at life positive and all you have accomplished and are able to/will accomplish.

Good luck!

I too was in a similar situation and my suggestion is to turn all that sadness and misery to hate. And use that hate to fuel your workouts. At least that's what worked for me. I pounded out a few hundred pushups and situps all fueled by anger. So that's a way to turn the negative into a positive and it worked for me.

Hi Renaud -- I saw your post very early this morning (well late last night) and started to answer but I needed some sleep so I said I'd do it today. I'm a bear without at least 3-4 hours of sleep.

Trust me, I've been where you are. The lack of self-confidence. The not liking yourself. The wishing you were dead. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt to show it. So what I'm about to tell you may not be easy to hear, it may not be what others will tell you, but I can tell you is the honest truth. Living with someone who constantly puts themselves down, who lacks confidence, who doesn't see anything good about themselves, is so emotionally draining on a partner it can drive them away. This is exactly what I told someone else here yesterday who was doing the same thing. I warned her she could eventually drive her bf away. I know, I did it and was driving friends and people who cared for me and loved me away from me. So the one thing you have to just do is STOP!!!!. Stop those negative voices in your head which tell you that you are fat, that say you aren't worthy, that belittle you and drive away any self-confidence. Don't listen to them. Shut them out of your mind. It's hard, I know. I have that t-shirt too. But you can do it. One step at a time.

You've taken the first step here, and that is huge, that is tremendous and should be celebrated. So congratulations.. You can do this and with MFP and the people here to help and support you.

If you want someone who will always tell you like I see it, someone who has been there, please feel free to add me as a friend. I don't sugar coat things, and I will kick you in the but when needed, but I also make sure that you take time to celebrate the little victories and pick yourself up WHEN you stumble. And you will stumble because we all do. Every last one of us. It's picking yourself up and having people to help you back up that makes all the difference. But too many people also don't celebrate the small wins, the NSVs. And those are what can keep us going. So celebrate every small win, too.

There's a story that Leo McGarry told on the West Wing TV show a few years ago that I think may apply to me:

"This guy's walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out." "

Good luck. You can do it.