Anyone's guy crazygoing after you lose a bunch?
Scubanana7
Posts: 361 Member
Mine is about.driving me nuts. I look better so I guess he is feeling threatened. At OUR age, it is rather annoying and not flattering at all that he is getting jealous. He is SKINNY and I have been overweight since we met. Now that I have lost enough to show, he is acting like a teenage boy if someone compliments me. GOOD Lord. I am almost 60 and way to late in life to give a darn about some other old man!l He is sweet and gives me tons of compliments one minute and then gets childishly jealous when someone else does. I guess he thinks I am fixing to trade him in....please....like who wants to start over with another old fart! lolol
He is starting to try to sabatoge my diet "why cant you just eat normal?" "stop talkig about the health benefits of that food" If you eat healthy, why can't I?" (and then buys a candy bar....) He is 6 foot and weighs 155 since he lost 10 while I have been cooking healthy. He still eats junk and eats like a pig.
Last night he threw a hissy fit cuz I was listening to some nutrition information on my computer..
That just figures.....I work EXTREMELY hard to get fit and then I go and murder the silly man and end up lifting weights in prison.......:yawn:
He is starting to try to sabatoge my diet "why cant you just eat normal?" "stop talkig about the health benefits of that food" If you eat healthy, why can't I?" (and then buys a candy bar....) He is 6 foot and weighs 155 since he lost 10 while I have been cooking healthy. He still eats junk and eats like a pig.
Last night he threw a hissy fit cuz I was listening to some nutrition information on my computer..
That just figures.....I work EXTREMELY hard to get fit and then I go and murder the silly man and end up lifting weights in prison.......:yawn:
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Replies
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Well, this is a warm and touching morning read . . .0
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Well, this is a warm and touching morning read . . .
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baahahahaha. Thanks.. I really needed a GOOD laugh. I guess it sounds a little psycho after re-reading it. lololol0 -
No matter how old some guys are, there will always be those guys out there that are controlling and jealous of others.. Sounds like you got one.0
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LOL @ Beachiron, :laugh:
OP - maybe try telling him that you're getting your health in order so you can both enjoy a long retirement together, instead of ending up in a nursing home at 65. Even if you're doing this all for you, no harm in letting him think you're doing it for HIM.0 -
Go talk to the man, let him know how you feel, and be happy that he's capable of showing a little jealousy at his age.
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I thought you were gonna say "Now I lost weight my husband wants sex all the time", His response is bizarro and disturbing.0
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Mine is weirdly jealous, too. We're in our 30's. He doesn't freak out about things, like yours did, but I get 500,000 questions every time I go some place. He's never been this jealous- or really jealous at all- in the 15 years we've been together.
There are two guys in particular who are professional contacts and our relationship is just that- professional. But my husband gets extremely jealous anytime their names come up.
I've still got about 30 pounds to lose and I'm not going to stay fat just so he can stay comfortable.0 -
I think he's feeling threatened - and he's afraid to lose you... confidence is waning...
"Hey - why are you losing the weight anyway? Are you getting ready to leave me for someone younger & more physically fit?????"
I'd be more worried if he didn't care what you did.
Of course - support and praise would be great, I guess! :ohwell:0 -
Well Scubanana7 your DH & mind are doing the same thing. My DH is over weight & has health problems as well. He just doesn't understand that this is not a diet it is a lifestyle change that needed to be made for the good of both of us. He things that popping some pills will fix everything all by itself. Both the Dr & I have told that he need to change the way he eats & move more. Well for now I'm just happy he gets on his bike & goes for a short ride everyday now. Its a step in the right direction.0
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I have the same issue except I have also swapped my 'job' for a 'career' so he's feeling a little put out about the competition as well as the intention (only just back on the wagon) to improve.
My priorities have shifted a little and he's feeling left behind and just a little threatened.
He knows I love him and that's all yours needs to know too but that does not mean compromising what's right for you. Surely if you are happier, his life is happier too?
Just make sure you take him with you 'on the journey' and maybe he will respond more positively when he sees the benefits. Mine is slowly coming around and is becoming more comfortable with the new routines etc.
Playing devil's advocate - I guess we can all be resistant to change when it is thrust upon us and not necessarily of our choosing. Think about how hard it is for you to keep the diet/exercise going and remember that this is not something of his choosing.0 -
I think it is threatening for them for sure.
I didn't (or rather, don't) have that much to lose but my partner is definitely struggling to know whether he's a) REALLY FREAKING THRILLED THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND IS GETTING EVEN HOTTER or b) whether he now feels (even more) self conscious about his own weight.
An example: yesterday he looked down my body and said, and this is an exact quote, 'f**k, you've lost even more weight. Look how tiny your stomach is! Ugh, you so hot. I don't like it'.
You gotta feel for them.... but in the same breath if they're not comfortable with their own bodies enough to feel like they don't match up to ours then they need to do something about it. I'm not saying they need to get buff or lose weight or whatever (unless, of course, they want to!) ... I'm just saying they need to talk it out and resolve these issues with us.
All you can really do is explain how you feel and hope that he'll explain how he feels. And reassure him.... which sucks. I hate reassuring people. But if I needed that kind of reassurance from my partner it would be even more sucky if I didn't get it!!
This is all a bit high and mighty coming from an 18 year old who clearly knows nothing of marriage, this is just my 2 cents, you're more than welcome to entirely disregard it
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Doesn't matter that you are 'only' 18. You had good insight!!
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Regretfully, most people exercise hard to entice attraction when dating. Then it goes away when together. But when one wants to get fit again, it has been because of interest from someone else or interested in someone else - lots of time.
Just spend more time with your partner. Have him join you in your exercises, etc..0 -
Wow, I personally would tell him to p*ss off! :explode:
Don't let him grind you down, you've worked hard for your new body and NOBODY has the right to make you feel bad about it, OR to make you feel bad about receiving compliments.
Kudos to you for embarking on a healthier life, you deserve praise, not jealousy :flowerforyou:0 -
I kind of went thru this when I started to lose the weight. I found out that a handful of his friends were telling him that I was losing weight to find another man. He is in excellent health but is quite a bit older than me so they were telling him that I was looking for a younger man.
Thank goodness that with a little reassurance from me and his awesome self confidence this all passed and now he is my number one supporter. In my case it was outside influence and easily fixable. Good luck and you look great!0 -
Well, this is a warm and touching morning read . . .
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baahahahaha. Thanks.. I really needed a GOOD laugh. I guess it sounds a little psycho after re-reading it. lololol
It doesn't sound psycho. Back five years ago, I lost 121 lbs. I got downright thin. My husband was not with me, he was against me in subtle ways. Some people do not want you to change.
I gained it all back. He reminds me of that. Last night he said that he just waits me out and knows that eventually everything will be the same as it was, seeing as though he has known me for nearly sixteen years.
But I am not sixteen years old. I am 48. There are thirty two years of me that he doesn't know and most of those years were not spent in the range of 200-300 lbs.
I have determination and grit that he doesn't get and now that he's seeing it, he's scared and feeling threatened.0 -
Communicate, communicate, communicate! My husband and I talk about EVERYTHING... even that hot guy or girl jogging down the road! When we were first going out, my husband tried to tell me who I could and couldn't hang out with... TRIED! I told him exactly how I felt about that and we now both understand how much we mean to the other one. (We've been together 14.5 years now!)
I honestly believe that a relationship needs to have communication and trust first off!
Make sure he knows that you're doing it for your health and personal image.
Make sure he knows how much you love and trust HIM and only him.0 -
I thought you were gonna say "Now I lost weight my husband wants sex all the time", His response is bizarro and disturbing.
This is what I was expecting as well.
I purged my jealousy in my early 20s when I realized it was causing far more harm then good.
He's just feeling threatened, would be my guess. Reassure him that you are doing this for yourself first and him second. Hell he should be HAPPY other guys are hitting on you. He knows who you are coming home with, after all.0 -
good for you! Those are his issues to deal with!Mine is weirdly jealous, too. We're in our 30's. He doesn't freak out about things, like yours did, but I get 500,000 questions every time I go some place. He's never been this jealous- or really jealous at all- in the 15 years we've been together.
There are two guys in particular who are professional contacts and our relationship is just that- professional. But my husband gets extremely jealous anytime their names come up.
I've still got about 30 pounds to lose and I'm not going to stay fat just so he can stay comfortable.0 -
OMG yes yes yes!
I've gone thru a total body makeover and I can finally say I look and feel awesome however my husband has shown little support. All he has shown me is his jealous and controlling side.
I can't leave the house or use my phone or text anyone without him thinking I'm cheating on him. He invaded my privacy by taking my phone away and looking for "evidence", he's even gone onto my laptop to dig thru my files and pictures.
He has had me followed by friends and has even hired a private investigator to follow me. He constantly calls me at work just to make sure I am there. I confronted him about all this but it was always my fault, never his insecurities.
Needless to say I have kicked him to the curb and we are now seperated....what a big weight off my shoulders!0 -
I do get that it is a confidence issue. He is worried that he will lose me, which is so dumb. I have always been overweight since we met and married 20 years ago. He never knew the Skinny Me.
It is just silly cuz my hubbie is pretty hot for his age. He is 63, looks 53. He works out every single day that I have known him. He has arms and a chest that No One would be ashamed of. He is very fit, mostly eats healthy (plus the candy bars...). and he does understand that I have diabetes, high blood pressure, and hypothyroidism. He knows I am doing this for my health....but he just gets crazy sometimes and worries that I will leave, I guess.
He will retire in a few months. Now WHY would he think I would want to start life over with someone else? Just silly. Men are just silly sometimes......and I promise not to strangle him with my newfound weight-lifting strength !0 -
My husband passed away two years ago, I wish he was here to see what I've accomplished. When I had lost weight in the past, he was very supportive and was more attentive and appreciative of my efforts. He would enjoy it if another man paid some attention to me, knowing that I would be going home with him, not the guy flirting with me. He definitely was secure in our relationship---God I miss him!!
But on another note, I saw a female acquaintance that I hadn't seen for several months last week. She noted how much weight I had lost, asked me if I was feeling all right, as if the only reason I would lose weight would be if I were sick. I told her I was fine. Then she proceeded to ask me if I was "seeing someone". I told her that I was not, as if that would be the reason why I've lost weight. Why is it so hard to believe that I made choices to lose weight and get healthier for ME and me alone!!!0 -
hahaha! Exactly! Who want another one WHO will be the same way ONE way or another...
My hubby stood by me regardless... BUT Yes I seen changes in him when being out in public... haha He would pull me closer to him or walk right beside me... YES even said something to others who were checkin me out.... bahahaha
You keep remembering THIS IS FOR YOU!
You worked hard & very hard it is! Let no one take that from you...
HEY... wanna share your weights! bahahaha
NOTHING but LOVE Sister!!! 0 -
I am 25 I have the same problem. my husband tells me you dont need to lose weight you are fine and get really jealous when I go out for a couple drinks with my grandmother. we live in a very very small town everyone knows I am happily married.0
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Men are just silly sometimes......and I promise not to strangle him with my newfound weight-lifting strength !
Yes... yes, we certainly are... and all wives are saints for not strangling us insecure, silly men!!0
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