(WARNING TMI) Have you felt like this?

I think that's a common problem for women, especially when we see what the porno women look like.


What helps me is remembering that the woman in his bed is always hotter than the picture, because she's THERE, she's touching him. That's what he wants...to be touched, not to think about it. Remember, men are different than women. If they didn't like it, they wouldn't hit it.

I get it too. Im a uk size 12/us 8 but feel huge sometimes after 2 kids in 18 months. My tummy is a little jiggly still but its going down. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and think I look fine (usually after a shower so I feel fresh and happy. But other times I think yuk why would he like this?
But hes with you for you and if he didnt like it he would say.

I get it and I am not married so it seems even harder when the person is not committed legally...LMAO. My BF rubs on my love handles and loves my big booty but would like my waist to be trimmer. I don't care what he wants but I want it all gone. Love handles and waist to be trimmer. I don't need a 6 pack but I want my Serena Williams body back or at least an older version of her body. I used to have it... I am now 46 but I know I can at least get leaner. The better I feel about myself the sexier I will feel and want to share myself with my BF.

Yes, I feel like that still.

But, I'd be kicking his *kitten* if he jiggled my belly or smacked my *kitten* making those kinds of comments. Don't beat around the bush, tell him it hurts and makes you feel awful when he does that. If he doesn't get it, tell him again.

I have learned that when I question my husbands attraction to me I insult him. He HATES it when I say negative things about myself. Sexy is an attitude. You see big and small girls that have it and you see their counterparts that don't. Small does not equal sexy. Confidence does equal sexy. If you are confident in the bedroom he will love every curve! (It sounds like you need to learn to love your body... most women don't know how to do this anymore.)

Yes I have felt this way and am still not 100% comfortable, but I am much happier and more free now. I feel good about the choices I make on a daily basis and feel very sexy because of weight training and it shows in my confidence level, that is what is driving my husband nuts

I have learned that when I question my husbands attraction to me I insult him. He HATES it when I say negative things about myself. Sexy is an attitude. You see big and small girls that have it and you see their counterparts that don't. Small does not equal sexy. Confidence does equal sexy. If you are confident in the bedroom he will love every curve! (It sounds like you need to learn to love your body... most women don't know how to do this anymore.)

Exactly.

I felt that way a lot, and still feel that way often. I have recently done a ladies study about insecurities where we discussed this very thing. Look at him, at his body. Is it perfect? Chances are that it is not. It is very possible that he has the same insecurites about his own body that you do about your own. Women tend to let those insecurities get the best of us though. If he does not have a perfect physique, you are still attracted to him when you see him. I am sure he feels the same way about you. It's just that men are generally oblivious to our feelings about ourselves. They think just because they can dish it out we can take it. You need to tell him that his comments make you feel as though he is not attracted to you and how would he feel if the tables were turned. Would he take a pinching of of his love handles in good fun, probably not.

I feel exactly like this! We have a huge mirror next to our bed. My husband likes to jiggle my tummy, and I always tell him not too. I catch a glimpse of my cellulite-y thighs and I am too through! Here's what I do to feel better:

1) Focus on what YOU like about your body. I have a nice rack and a big juicy bottom lol. I play those up with sexy LINGERIE. Lingerie makes me feel like a goddess, no matter how I'm feeling about my body.
2) Sometimes I will pose in front of the mirror and take a sexy pic at a flattering angle. See #1.
3) Instead of looking in the mirror, look at hubby's face, or close my eyes and focus on the feeling. Light some candles. Lighting is everything, sometimes.

These things help to keep me in the mood lol. Hope it helps you.

Been there. I used to always make my boyfriend turn off the lights. I still get self conscience sometimes but I think you'll eventually feel better about yourself. Honestly, fake confidence long enough and you'll start feeling it-- it's what I did.

I have learned that when I question my husbands attraction to me I insult him. He HATES it when I say negative things about myself. Sexy is an attitude. You see big and small girls that have it and you see their counterparts that don't. Small does not equal sexy. Confidence does equal sexy. If you are confident in the bedroom he will love every curve! (It sounds like you need to learn to love your body... most women don't know how to do this anymore.)

This too. My hubby gets super annoyed when I hide and insult myself. If I strut, even with my c-section scar and stretch marks and whatever, he's chasing me around like a bad cartoon of a boss and a secretary.

I totally feel you. But I think sometimes it depends on the partner... if he's saying weird things to you like that it's going to mess with your head and make you feel uncomfortable. I can't even take my shirt off because I hate my stomach!

OK first I think your husband is stupid. In general, men love thick thighs and booties. Some even like tummies. However, to say that to someone who obviously has body dysmorphia is terrible. I'm sorry.

With that being said the only time you will feel confidence in yourself when you accept your body. You will never been "skinny" enough if you dont have the confidence in yourself first. Sex will never be good for you if you dont let go of some preconceived notion about how you should look.

Regarding sex. Be selfish worry more about your orgasm than him or what any man thinks. Believe me if he's a true man your orgasm will be his primary goal too. Sex is about the man proving to you not you proving to him. Close your eyes and imagine your most dirtiest naughty fantasy when you are with him. This is about you!

Maybe take some personal time for yourself invest in a battery operated friend. Force yourself in front of a mirror and watch how beautiful you are when you are at the height of ecstasy.

At 365lbs I was no less desirable because I love how my body feels at that peak, and men love that when you let go. I didn't care if my fat gut was swinging because I was lost in the moment.

I hope you can find that inner sex Goddess she's there yearning to be released.

I have had issues with being intimate with my husband because I feel so self conscious about how I look. Besides me being too hard on myself, he does things like jiggle my belly and smack my butt and tells me "there is just so much to smack" and things like that. I have formed a mental block to where I cant even enjoy kissing because I am afraid it will lead to sex and I just dont want it too. I have told him more than once that I feel like he is "taking one for the team" by even trying to be intimate with me.

I was kind of starting to get over this, but then yesterday I accidently happened to glance at the mirror in our bedroom and SAW and I was just disgusted. It was like a bad comedy movie scene...big fat girl riding a tiny guy. I can't get that image out of my head and I feel like I dont even want to do anything again until Im skinny which is a LONG time to make him wait!

I am ABSOLUETLY NOT looking for people to say "Oh dont worry you are beautiful and he loves you" and blah blah blah. Those are kind words, and meant for encouragement. I get it. But what I REALLY want to know is if there are others who have felt that their weight/size has been a hinderance to a healthy romantic relationship with your significant other.

You are not out of line to feel this way. You are married to an *kitten*.

I feel exactly the same! My other half if 5'7 and underweight, and I'm 5'8 and 250 lbs. If it wasn't bad enough him being shorter than me! I feel like little and large. But somehow, he fell in love with me, and is physically attracted to me, enough to want to be intimate with me almost daily. I refused to take my clothes off in front of him for the first 6 months of our relationship.

I know my partner loves me, and wants to marry me, even looking like this (how?!). I also know it is going to take a long time until I have the self confidence to accept that I am attractive to somebody else, but most importantly, I know that the self confidence has to come from me. And in the mean time, I'm just going to have to take my partners word for it.