(WARNING TMI) Have you felt like this?

Have some compassion man.

I do have compassion for the OP, I strongly suggest getting down the root of these issues before they cause deeper trouble.

However, I strongly disagree the existence of other people who look different on TV, porn, whatever... is the cause of it. Insecurity breeds from a much deeper place than that.

I have to agree that this isn't about your husband, it's about you.

I've been "skinny" most of my life, but I hated my body and therefore always felt insecure about how I looked to my husband. However, even now that I'm heavier, I can tell a difference in my happiness and our relationship because I'm happier with myself. It's been a long road to get here, but I respect my body and myself and I'm proud of the work I put in each day. That confidence radiates sexiness... no matter what size your *kitten* or belly is.

I have learned that when I question my husbands attraction to me I insult him. He HATES it when I say negative things about myself. Sexy is an attitude. You see big and small girls that have it and you see their counterparts that don't. Small does not equal sexy. Confidence does equal sexy. If you are confident in the bedroom he will love every curve! (It sounds like you need to learn to love your body... most women don't know how to do this anymore.)

^^This. My boyfriend feels so offended when I say i'm not pretty, i'm not sexy, or I tell him to stop lying about me being sexy, etc... but since I started dropping the weight I feel a little more confident. YES I still jiggle, but not as much! And he loves that I am getting healthy, and I've even inspired him to start getting healthy too. And yes some guys do like a little more to hold onto. Obviously mine did (when we started dating I was 150).

And I totally agree with if he didn't find you attractive, he wouldn't tap it. Guys minds are COMPLETELY different, I've learned that talking to many guys and girls over the year... if he didn't find you attractive, he wouldn't hit it.

I often have felt the same way. I have always outweighed my husband..sometimes by 5-10 pounds, sometimes by 30+ pounds. But I finally realize that when he says he doesn't care what size I am, he thinks I'm sexy, I know he's telling the truth...he doesn't care. It's me who cares. He helps motivate me to work out because he knows it's what I want, not what he wants. You need to tell your husband that the things he says are hurtful to you...he may not even realize.

I can understand how you feel. I was like that after I had my 6 year old and had gained 90lbs. It gets better, but I imagine him saying things like that to you doesn't help. I don't know if he is always a douche or just didn't realize that saying something like that is wrong, but it is. You are here so you are working on losing the weight that is messing with your self-confidence. He obviously is still turned on by you if you are still having sex.

Yes.

Now things to make you feel better. Wear some interesting lingerie ( you can get control) also corsets also always make everyone sexier. Also fishnets with thigh highs ( underwear on top of those) will make you look and feel better. And if all else fails ( blindfold for him) and a feather for you ...hope this helps

I have learned that when I question my husbands attraction to me I insult him. He HATES it when I say negative things about myself. Sexy is an attitude. You see big and small girls that have it and you see their counterparts that don't. Small does not equal sexy. Confidence does equal sexy. If you are confident in the bedroom he will love every curve! (It sounds like you need to learn to love your body... most women don't know how to do this anymore.)

Yes! My husband and I have a very open relationship. We often point out people that attract us to each other and point out people that we think will attract the other person. He always surprises me! I have the same assumption that most of us have... he MUST be attracted to the big boobs tiny waist girl. NOT! He's told me many times, it's ATTITUDE! The large girl that struts her stuff is much more interesting to him than the skinny mousey girl.
He has also told me that in the bedroom, feel is way more important than look. He loves to run his hands ALL over me... even the jiggly parts!

I think that's a common problem for women, especially when we see what the porno women look like.

Sometimes it helps to watch amateur porn, BBW, or mature videos. Those are real women's bodies and makes you feel just as normal. Dont watch the fake blonde bimbo videos.

I agree that he obviously loves and wants you because he chooses to be with you, but none of that matters if you don't feel sexy and comfortable inside. I hope this isn't too blunt, but try it from behind with the lights off until you feel more at ease. I suggest this because my best friend, who has always been hot even during her pregnancy, felt the same way after she had her daughter and said this was the only way she could be with her husband while losing the baby weight without being self-conscious. She said that it was less confrontational but still fun, and also the "caboose" is a place where guys in general think it's sexy to have a few extra pounds. Again, this is third-party opinion, but I hope this helps!

I've got rather the reverse. My hubby, who loves me dearly ( and I him) does not desire me at any size and while he is supportive and encouraging, tells me I'm looking good ( I showed up in his home office doorway in a rocking LBD and his jaw dropped... he actually said "Wow!") there has been no sexual activity for years now and most likely will never be again. Diabetes is a cruel, cruel disease. For me as well as for him. There is nothing wrong with ME and this situation is heartbreaking.

this is my biggest fear what happens when the sex is gone?

I once had a bf who had diabeties and we had a healthy sex life... sex is so much more than intercourse... and there are sooooooooooooo many ways to please and be pleased without a stiffy...fyi