HELP from the moms out there!!!!!!!

Lisa1971
Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
edited January 28 in Chit-Chat
Hi moms! My name is Lisa and I have 2 wonderful kiddos...my daughter is 7 and my son is 3. My problem is....I'm leaving for Germany and Ireland for 2 weeks and I am literally SICK over the thought of leaving the kids! My husband has to go to a conference and the trip has been booked for months so I can't get out of it.

My kids will be staying with my parents who are excellent and I am 100000000000% fine with this. My mom and dad are very loving grandparents and I know my kids will be spoiled rotten so that's not the problem. The problem is me. I cried for 2 hours straight last night thinking about how incredibly much I will miss them. Am I nuts? Except for being in school the kids are with me all the time. I'm not used to being without them and as much as I want to go to Germany and Ireland, I also want to stay home. It's my husband and my 15 year anniversary on July 5th and I know we'll have a good trip but I am just heartbroken over not seeing the kids for 2 weeks!:cry:

I plan on skyping to them on my phone and calling when I can but it's just not the same. I'm going to write my daughter a note that she can open every day that I am gone. Hopefully, I am taking this much harder than they are. I am just so sad.:sad: :sad: :cry:

Any suggestions out there from the moms who would hate to be away from their kids? I can't sleep over this and I cry every night.

Thanks so much.
Lisa

Replies

  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    The first few days are rough, but you get through it. Skype is a great idea, as is the letter thing. Maybe even a tiny care package they can open in the morning and play with until you call.

    You will miss them more than they miss you, but by the end of the two weeks, you will be more than ready to come back, and they will be thrilled to have you. There is no better feeling than having them launch into your arms at the airport!

    You are not nuts... I've been away twice from my kids... once for 5 days, when their dad and I were together - and I knew I'd talk to them every night. And once when we were separated, when he couldn't be bothered to set up the webcam for skype, or be home for me to talk to them.

    With Skype, you will manage well. :)

    It'll be a great time, trust me!
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Thanks Mirey! I know I have to do this and be strong. They are already talking about going to "grandma and Poppy's" and how fun it will be so I do like to hear that! Thanks again and I'm sure alcohol will help me out too. LOL!
  • cyoka13
    cyoka13 Posts: 288 Member
    It is rough but you will be fine. Last summer, I went to Guyana for 13 days. I stayed in the bush and did not have access to phone, internet or any other form of communication with home. My son was 10 years old at the time and this was my first time ever being away from him for that long AND not having any form of communication with him.

    The things that helped me: I brought pictures of him and I kept a journal. As I would experience things that I knew he would enjoy, I wrote them down so that I could share those memories with him. My very first day there, I saw a tamandua (type of anteater) and I knew that he would have just loved seeing it. It made me cry. But, I wrote down my feelings and I was sure to share the joy of the experience with him when I got home.

    I think all parents feel this way - you are normal :) Enjoy your trip, know that your children will be just fine and takes lots of pictures to share with them when you get home.

    Oh and happy anniversary! My SO and I will be celebrating 15 years in the fall and I hope to spend it in Belize!
  • NewCaddy
    NewCaddy Posts: 845 Member
    My recommendation is to NOT skype them. I know that sounds harsh, but each time you hang up with them, you'll go through the cycle again.

    I left my kids (7 & 2) when we went on a 10 day cruise to Alaska and I never spoke with my kids. They were having so much fun that they went to bed tired. I know they asked about us a few times (usually at bedtime), but if I would have called them everyday, they would have been reminded.

    I'm a better mom when I've gotten a break. While that trip was the longest I've ever been without them, occassional weekends and long weekends give me a break and I'm a better Mom for it in the long run.
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    I fully believe that kids and parents need time away from each other. Your parents need the time with your kids, and your kids will have wonderful memories of being with their grandparents. I'm a single mother and I have my son 24/7. I don't have family anywhere near me to help out when I need a break, so there are days where I dream of getting away. I think it's also really important that you and your husband have this time to reconnect. Obviously you will miss your kids, but don't let it take away from enjoying this trip an dthe time with your husband.
  • CountingCaloriesSuxass
    CountingCaloriesSuxass Posts: 387 Member
    I dont know what to say. My son is 2 and has never spent the night anywhere..which I know its not healthy, but I am just one of those moms..
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I'm the opposite... someone PLEASE come take my kids so I can go on a vacation with the hubby!! :laugh:
  • JaneDough_
    JaneDough_ Posts: 301 Member
    I am leaving for the Middle East for 3 weeks in September. My daughter is 3 and will be staying with her Dad. Moms need breaks too. Go enjoy your trip, you'll have the rest of your life to be with your kids.
  • Jaulen
    Jaulen Posts: 468 Member
    Yeah, learn to be a person independent of your kids.

    Ever since my kid was 2 he goes for a MONTH during the summer to my parents house 1800 miles away. We call once a week while he's out there.

    healthy for kids, healthy for mom, healthy for your marriage.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Thanks so much ladies! I know I'll be fine once I get there but it's just hard. Ugh. I've got to just prepare myself mentally and know that this will be a good thing!
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    I'm the opposite... someone PLEASE come take my kids so I can go on a vacation with the hubby!! :laugh:

    LOL!:laugh:
  • jeanywren
    jeanywren Posts: 72 Member
    When my kids were about 11 or 12, each one got a chance to go visit in Holland with relatives. Mom got to stay home as it was more important for them to get to know the far away relatives than for me to go there. It is hard to be apart and I died a thousand little deaths with the thought of putting them on the plane!!! They had a trip of a lifetime and lots of memories. Of course there were a few homesick bouts for them, especially the oldest. But it is so good to see the joy on their faces when they see you again!!! Those days there was no Skype and phone calls were very expensive. Maybe talked to them once or twice in two weeks.

    Have a good trip, try to focus on you and your hubby. This is good for you and take it from a Grandma, the Grandparents are going to have a ball with the kids too. It gives us old folks a lift too having little people around again.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    As hard as it is going to be, try to remember that this time apart is good for you and them. You'll get a chance to relax and rejuvenate, and they will have the chance to learn how to follow different rules and follow a different schedule while you are gone. They are old enough that they will be fine, especially since they are with family that they know very well. Enjoy your time apart and remember, it is only 2 weeks, you'll be back with them again soon. Of course, if you really don't want to go, I'll gladly take your tickets.....:flowerforyou:
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
    I'm the opposite... someone PLEASE come take my kids so I can go on a vacation with the hubby!! :laugh:

    Holy crap, THIS.

    Cut the umbilical cord already. I'm a little worried for your kids when they want some independence someday.
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
    When I had to leave my kids I always tried to remember that they will eventually leave me and every time they are without me they are learning that they can live without me. It's part of the process of growing up. I think date nights and other opportunities to leave the kids with a babysitter are important for the same reason. I think Skyping with them and the letters for your daughter are a great idea as well because it reinforces the idea that even though you aren't with them you love them and want to see and talk to them. The two weeks will pass quickly and you you'll be refreshed and ready to be a great mom again when you get home!
  • thatonegirlwiththestuff
    thatonegirlwiththestuff Posts: 1,171 Member
    The first few hours/days will be the worst. But after awhile you'll start to feel like it's okay to be away for awhile, especially if they are in good hands. I hate leaving my kids too, although I am with them all day, but after a few hours I feel like it's a much needed break. That's great that you can skype them!
  • JenX15
    JenX15 Posts: 103 Member
    The first time my husband and I were away from the kids for 4 days was last year (my daughter was 7 and my son 5 at the time). I was freaking out!!!!! BUT .... it is true - you miss them more then they miss you. The first night they were a little dissapointed that I was not there to tuck them in ... but otherwise OK. I called in the afternoon to speak to my Mom (when the kids were in school) to get status updates. The kids actually called us (we facetimed) to tell us about their day and asked us to move the phone around to show them where we were (Vegas).

    When we came back home - we were rejuvenated, the kids were happy, and now when we consider another mini-break - it's no big deal.

    Enjoy your time away - it will be good for you and your kids!
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    I don't know if I have any advice because I find it hard to go a weekend without seeing my kids. The first time I left my son, when he was 4 months old, to go out in London for a friends's 30th, I ended up crying in a club! Pathetic! My husband was home with him.

    My mum is ill so I sometimes go back to my hometown for the weekend to visit her, but again the kids (now 4 and 2) are with hubby. I just go Fri til Sun and I do miss my kids, but I'm not gone long.

    I think once you start visiting places and enjoying yourself you'll be fine, and you'll enjoy spending time with your husband, just the two of you. You know the kids will be fine with their grandparents. I think when we leave our kids, they're perfectly fine, it's us who suffer! They especially love being with grandparents.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    I'm the opposite... someone PLEASE come take my kids so I can go on a vacation with the hubby!! :laugh:

    Holy crap, THIS.

    Cut the umbilical cord already. I'm a little worried for your kids when they want some independence someday.

    Seriously???? Gee, thanks.
  • redheadmommy
    redheadmommy Posts: 908 Member
    ENJOY it! I only spent 2- 3 days apart from my kids a few times, and gosh it was soooo good ;)
    First I went to a 2 days conference when my son was 2.5 yrs old . It was heaven! I love my kds , but it was such a nice break. After that I went to 2 other conferences a year later when he was around 3.5 yrs old.
    Now my second is only 6 months old and I haven't spent more than a few hrs without her and I am not looking forward it yet, but ask me a year from now ;)


    2 weeks is quite a long time though. I think you are overwhelmed because instead increasing the being away time gradually, you are going for a loooong time immediately.

    I do no know how long before your trip, but maybe you can practice first for one night or a weekend? I think that would ease into the process for both you and your kids.
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