I don't know what to think.

If anything, the internet is worse than real life. O.o

Some of us have it harder/easier than others, and we can't change our circumstances. It just makes it that much sweeter in the end if you have greater circumstances to overcome. No one should be putting you down because of your circumstances and if they are, I'm very sorry, that's awful. In the end, no matter what your circumstances, it all comes down to the little choices that you make every day, and it really comes down to how much of a priority it is in your life at this moment. If you do not think you have the will to get yourself fit right now, that's completely fine, don't feel bad about it. If you do however think you can be in the mindset to eat the way you need to to lose weight, then go for it with everything you've got. In the end it all comes down to you. Good luck.

some people are just *kitten*. Dont worry about what they say. Try to stay under your calorie target each day and be as active as possible. Its OK to have Ice Cream... Just try to make it fit in your calories for the day. The fact that you are on MFP means that you are doing something to fix the problem!

I give you major props for helping out your family financially and by watching your brother.

Just tell all the negative people to shove it!

If anything, the internet is worse than real life. O.o

^^^ this, .... The problem with internet is not only are there real jerks but even decent people who forget they are talking to real people not just a screen can get ugly, it is disheartening but dwell on the positive:)

First and foremost kuddos to you for helping with your brother with Autism. I know first hand how difficult it can be as a parent of 2 childrern with Autism and can only imagine how difficult it can be as a sibling. Don't let others discourage you from your journey. You focus on yourself and let people talk. People will always have something negative to say and at the end of the day you are the only one who truly knows what you are capable of doing. Keep your head up and dont allow anyone to discourage you.

I will friend request you

This is the same post.... just in different words. I think we'll # this one 10456837
Grow a thicker skin. Stop paying attention to negative peeps... you are here to work on you right? So surround yourself with positive people.

It's hard to stop everyone... why even put the effort towards it

I enjoy the forums and skip over the less than nice posts but I understand how you could take some of them personally and they can be hurtful.

My suggestion would be to friend some good supportive people and stay away from the forums. Use your home page to solicit advice and support. Then you have some control over the feedback you get. If you get someone who is bullying you, simply unfriend them! Feel free to friend me if you'd like.

Props to you for all you do at age 19. Don't think this is impossible for you, you just may need to be more creative than some of us.

I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .

That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.

You are joking right? No one is going to seriously tell you, and mean it, that you are lazy because you worked out inside because you are baby sitting. That's like what at least half of the moms on MFP have to do!

That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.

also *raises hand* i'm financially challenged...as are a lot of people on MFP. It's FREE afterall.

That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.

will power. you have to get it.

My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.

you are totally making excuses and being lazy. sorry but getting in shape does not require a big gym membership and a personal trainer and someone to cook your meals for you. It takes just a little bit of information (which you DO have as an MFP member) and just a little bit of will power.

I lost 50 lbs without a gym membership or any gadgets. I went running- 20 minutes a day. I used MFP to figure out how much of what to eat. I stopped eating ice cream. I pretty much guarantee that there are people who don't have the resources YOU have who have been able to make a healthy lifestyle change.

ETA: I'm really supportive but I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, recognize that it's hard for a lot of people on MFP who don't have lots of money and have kids, and don't let your status as an average person with typical life stuff (bills and family that need help) keep you feeling sorry for yourself.

I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .

That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.

You are joking right? No one is going to seriously tell you, and mean it, that you are lazy because you worked out inside because you are baby sitting. That's like what at least half of the moms on MFP have to do!

That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.

also *raises hand* i'm financially challenged...as are a lot of people on MFP. It's FREE afterall.

That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.

will power. you have to get it.

My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.

you are totally making excuses and being lazy. sorry but getting in shape does not require a big gym membership and a personal trainer and someone to cook your meals for you. It takes just a little bit of information (which you DO have as an MFP member) and just a little bit of will power.

I lost 50 lbs without a gym membership or any gadgets. I went running- 20 minutes a day. I used MFP to figure out how much of what to eat. I stopped eating ice cream. I pretty much guarantee that there are people who don't have the resources YOU have who have been able to make a healthy lifestyle change.

ETA: I'm really supportive but I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, recognize that it's hard for a lot of people on MFP who don't have lots of money and have kids, and don't let your status as an average person with typical life stuff (bills and family that need help) keep you feeling sorry for yourself.

Go away:)

I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .

That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.

You are joking right? No one is going to seriously tell you, and mean it, that you are lazy because you worked out inside because you are baby sitting. That's like what at least half of the moms on MFP have to do!

That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.

also *raises hand* i'm financially challenged...as are a lot of people on MFP. It's FREE afterall.

That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.

will power. you have to get it.

My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.

you are totally making excuses and being lazy. sorry but getting in shape does not require a big gym membership and a personal trainer and someone to cook your meals for you. It takes just a little bit of information (which you DO have as an MFP member) and just a little bit of will power.

I lost 50 lbs without a gym membership or any gadgets. I went running- 20 minutes a day. I used MFP to figure out how much of what to eat. I stopped eating ice cream. I pretty much guarantee that there are people who don't have the resources YOU have who have been able to make a healthy lifestyle change.

ETA: I'm really supportive but I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, recognize that it's hard for a lot of people on MFP who don't have lots of money and have kids, and don't let your status as an average person with typical life stuff (bills and family that need help) keep you feeling sorry for yourself.

Go away:)

No, she shouldnt go away. All of her points are valid. It does not cost money or require special equipment to lose weight. Sometimes these comments seem negative to those who don't want to hear it, but its true. I am a single mom of two and I have lost over 115 pounds. I am beyond broke, I have no time to myself, no gym membership and no equipment really besides some dumbbells. I dont get to eat special diet foods really, I have to eat what my kids like because I can't afford to buy us seperate meals. I had to overcome the many YEARS worth of excuses that I was hanging on to before I started getting anywhere. Because we do all convince ourself that ours "arent excuses" but at the end of the day, they are.

I am not saying that is is totally your fault that you aren't fully motivated yet. yes, look for support to help you on your journey, but at the end of the day it comes down to how DEDICATED you are. If you know the ice cream won;t fit in your calories, but you eat it anyway, saying 'well it was there because my family likes it" is definitely an excuse.

I am supportive, I know Corvus is supportive and is one of my biggest motivators because she is a prime example that it takes hard work and dedication to meet your goals, but anyone can do it if they TRY and leave the excuses behind!

good luck and I know that if you stay focused, you will get there, just keep your mind on what you really want!:flowerforyou:

I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .

That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.

You are joking right? No one is going to seriously tell you, and mean it, that you are lazy because you worked out inside because you are baby sitting. That's like what at least half of the moms on MFP have to do!

That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.

also *raises hand* i'm financially challenged...as are a lot of people on MFP. It's FREE afterall.

That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.

will power. you have to get it.

My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.

you are totally making excuses and being lazy. sorry but getting in shape does not require a big gym membership and a personal trainer and someone to cook your meals for you. It takes just a little bit of information (which you DO have as an MFP member) and just a little bit of will power.

I lost 50 lbs without a gym membership or any gadgets. I went running- 20 minutes a day. I used MFP to figure out how much of what to eat. I stopped eating ice cream. I pretty much guarantee that there are people who don't have the resources YOU have who have been able to make a healthy lifestyle change.

ETA: I'm really supportive but I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, recognize that it's hard for a lot of people on MFP who don't have lots of money and have kids, and don't let your status as an average person with typical life stuff (bills and family that need help) keep you feeling sorry for yourself.

Go away:)

No, she shouldnt go away. All of her points are valid. It does not cost money or require special equipment to lose weight. Sometimes these comments seem negative to those who don't want to hear it, but its true. I am a single mom of two and I have lost over 115 pounds. I am beyond broke, I have no time to myself, no gym membership and no equipment really besides some dumbbells. I dont get to eat special diet foods really, I have to eat what my kids like because I can't afford to buy us seperate meals. I had to overcome the many YEARS worth of excuses that I was hanging on to before I started getting anywhere. Because we do all convince ourself that ours "arent excuses" but at the end of the day, they are.

I am not saying that is is totally your fault that you aren't fully motivated yet. yes, look for support to help you on your journey, but at the end of the day it comes down to how DEDICATED you are. If you know the ice cream won;t fit in your calories, but you eat it anyway, saying 'well it was there because my family likes it" is definitely an excuse.

I am supportive, I know Corvus is supportive and is one of my biggest motivators because she is a prime example that it takes hard work and dedication to meet your goals, but anyone can do it if they TRY and leave the excuses behind!

good luck and I know that if you stay focused, you will get there, just keep your mind on what you really want!:flowerforyou:

thank you.

I was a single mother on welfare who had to put myself through graduate school by working at the same time.

Most of my weight was lost by just watching my portions, making slight adjustments in how I ate, and running outside because I couldn't afford a gym membership or a treadmill. I would incorporate my child into my exercise as much as possible because it was the only way. I didn't have anyone to baby sit him. I just had to make it work.

And you don't have to give up ice cream, you just have to balance it out with everything else. Maybe a smaller portion with an extra ten minutes on the elliptical.

You do have what it takes is what I'm saying. And I know it's frustrating when you are comparing yourself to someone who has a private chef and their own entire gym in their house and lots of leisure time....but you are just beating yourself up instead of focusing on what you CAN do.

@alisaprince1

I don't understand how you can call these folks jerks and bullies. They are trying to be helpful by giving a different perspective and some tough love.

I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .

That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.

That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.

That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.

My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.

I'm tired of getting called names and given words other than support just because my situation is different. I thought we were all supposed to be here and give a helping hand because we all know what it's like to be pushed down?

I am complaining, I know, and I'm sorry. But I just need supportive people around me. Not bullies.

Umm...you could move out and start an adult life of your own, instead of supporting other people?

Making excuses is exactly what you are doing. Get on the exercise bike. Do some push ups, some planks. Take your brother for walks. Eat smaller amounts of ice cream. If you want it bad enough you just have to do it in-spite of all the challenges you have in life. It's not easy for most of us. And you are 19. Your life is just going to get more hectic and stressful. You've just got to learn to make health a priority.