living with a huge eater? anyone else in that boat?

You describe me and my husband back before I flipped out.
He still eats a lot and complains that he needs to lose weight, but he does get up and do some stuff around the house.

he does help. I make him a deal - he unloads the dishwasher and I load it. If I ask him to do stuff - 7 out of 10 times he will do most stuff. I admit lots of that is my fault. I just hate asking anyone to do stuff. A bad habit I've gotten into over the years. I created this by not asking and I hate to nag. He does do the lawn mowing here and at our place of business so that takes him about 10 hours a week. He does the 'guy' stuff. he chops wood for the fireplace, plows the long driveway in the winter. stuff like that. He'll trim trees using the chain saw. I just won't do that stuff. I also draw the line at mowing.

He does do alot of the tomato canning in the fall. I usually chip in when I see him doing them, but he'll tell me I don't have to. It's just easier (I know) to have 2 people working on them. We are hoping to put up about 100 qts this fall.

He does cook. sometimes he even does his dishes. He will if I ask - it's just nice to not ask and get up in the morning to a clean kitchen.

We went fishing last week and I caught 4 large rainbow trout which he processed for me. I like catching them, but he's good at cleaning them. YUK! I don't know how good I'd be at that. He baited my hook for me and took them off the hook when I caught them. I don't mind baiting a hook with worms, but the rest? He's much more comfortable than I am doing that. I think he spent more time baiting hooks for me and the grandkids than he did fishing. It was MUCH appreciated by me!

I cooked one of them and will smoke the rest. I do the smoking of that stuff. He loves it. I guess I should do that. smoked fish? how bad can that be for someone? He likes my pate. smoked fish with spices and cream cheese. OOOPS. need to make it without the cream cheese......................:laugh:

I live with a big eater. I like all the foods he does and its hard to get him to walk with me. I am learning that I need to take care of me in the best way I can and not try to run him.

What a strange way to look at that. Seeking suggestions that would help someone get healthy isn't running someone. I'm hoping to learn how to inspire. He LOVES to walk with me. I have had to pass a couple of times because my knee acts up, but he'd walk with me whenever I ask. He just doesn't like tennis. My brother loves tennis, so next time he comes to visit - we'll play.
my hubby's love is Golf. I'm not a big fan of that, but he has his buddies. Now if the economy would improve so he can go.......

From your food diary, you regularly undereat by WAY too little (~1000 calories a day or under), and occasionally have big binges. You sound quite a bit more unhealthy than your husband whom you are so worried about.
I'm not saying this to be rude, I hope you don't take this as an attack, but I just hope that you might understand that undereating is WAY more unhealthy than overeating. Your internal organs, brain, and mood are severely affected by such a low calorie diet over weeks, months, etc.
Being overweight is not healthy either, but at least your husband is getting adequate nutrition, protein, and is likely to live a long time.
If you starve your body is desperation to lose weight you will inevitably shorten your life span. I wish you the best, I'm married too and I know how frustrating it can be living with someone who has a poor diet. xx

Actually it's not as bad as it looks. I make almost everything from scratch, so it's hard to enter some things without trying to put together all the ingredients. I periodically make notes at the bottom and just add calories - but I don't know how accurate I am.

I was holding at about 1200 calories per day - maybe a little over, then did a 1,000 calorie per day challenge.

I went with the hubby to his favorite place (Golden Corral) last week and did overeat my limit. or at least I think I did. I had no clue what to put down so I just estimated high. I tend to do that.

I do exercise which 'ups' what I can have, so that may show I'm undereating.

I had thought last week that it would be nice if there was a food fitbit type gadget that you could pass your food by and it would record the calories contained in it. Since I'm a scratch cook, it order to record properly - I'd have to weigh every ingredient and then get a total. When I consume that - I'd have to weigh everything again to see how much I"m taking in.

It's rare that I eat packaged foods. I've told my SIL that although I don't like processed foods, it sure would make dieting easier. Read the box - eat the food. record the calories.

Not only am I a scratch cook, I don't follow any specific recipes. I'm a 'dumper'. little of this, little of that. Fresh ingredients. I don't eat alot of meat. I'm just not a fan. My trout I cooked last week was great. I caught it - the hubby gutted it - I cooked it. no clue how many calories in it the way I prepared it.

I buy packaged goods from a restaurant supply house in bulk. Lots of it has NO calorie counts. I have to try to figure out who's turkey sausage it is - what does it weigh? sometimes it's not labelled. They buy in large bulk and break it into smaller freezer bags with little to no info. just what it is.

Thank you for input. I have thought about trying to raise my calorie count a bit lately because I've been exercising more. I just can't determine what a good level is? I just read yesterday that about -30% of TDEE is about right. There is so much info out there, I"m not sure who has the info to provide the best results.

It seems that every time I raise my calorie intake by even a couple hundred calories - the weight comes right back on. I was hoping to reach my goal and then slowly raise my intake.

your thoughts? feel free to email me direct.

You've laid it all out there and seem to have got blasted. Sorry for that. I understand where you're coming from. I started this more than a year ago. It took my husband a few months to climb on board. You can't make them change but, you can lead by example. I ended up with this much to lose because I have the appetite of a trucker and could match him bite for bite. Good luck to you! You can do this. And so will he.....eventually:flowerforyou:

Thank you. much appreciated. I'll think I'll give up for tonight - go give him a big hug and tomorrow morning I'll have some fresh ideas. I did get him to quit smoking (after 2 years) and it was really hard for him. I was really happy that he quit. He has NO regrets. Now - onto the healthy lifestyle.............He really does like good, healthy food, but convenience seems to get in the way.

Maybe I should start him off with getting the healthy subway sandwich instead of the meatball? I'm going to make him an eggwhite wrap for breakfast tomorrow. I thawed the spinach tonight. Egg-whites - spinach and feta on these wonderful whole grain wraps I found at the supermarket. 100 calories each about 9" in diameter. I can start with him by showing him egg white wraps are just as good as whole egg ones. less fat, less calories. he can have 2 of these to just one of the full fat ones...

we'll see how tomorrow does.

thanks to everyone - even those that weren't quite so 'kind'.

Just an additional thought, if you are actually concerned and he loves meat and fattening foods, there are great meals you can make that taste decadent! Today, for example, I'm making burritos for dinner- 96% lean ground beef, I always cook up some finely chopped onions, peppers, maybe mushrooms to mix in with the beef. A small amount of cheese, sliced avocado, chopped tomatoes- the whole delicious burrito weighs in at probably around 600 calories. Tastes better than most 1200 calorie laden burritos you can buy in a restaurant! I'll have one, hubby will usually have two, but it's healthy ingredients and he loves them (though he doesn't have to watch his weight). There are many things like that you can do- burgers with lean ground beef and a little bit of veggies or ground turkey mixed in, etc. He might start liking those versions!

That said, after revisiting this thread, I do want to add in that you have gone far on your journey. What motivated you to start? It probably came from within, YOUR decision to want to lose weight and get fit. If your husband decides to watch what he eats or start working out, it will have to come from within too. If you bring these things up to him constantly, it may breed resentment. My best advice is start cooking healthy and delicious meals, and sharing with him, but don't force it on him.

More good advice. My reasoning for starting? I've never been too overweight but since I goofed up my knee over a year ago - I put on weight. I couldn't get around very well. Plus I'm a pilot and own a small plane. They have weight limits. 2 of my brothers have 'grown' so I have to be conscious of the total weight when we fly together. I wanted to get a glider sign-off but my one brother who is certified to teach in them, can't - because he's over the weight limit. Even with me at under 170 - he over-grosses the limit. DARN. I really wanted to do that. Guess I'll have to pay someone to instruct me...

I also don't want to have to spend money on more clothes. I have tons. They are beginning to fit again. I bought some 'fat' clothes to get me by - but I really want to get into my old ones. I'm tall. Tall jeans are hard to find and expensive. I started sewing again to get me by. New clothes just weren't in the budget.

PLUS - I just feel better when I think I look OK.

I usually pare down the calories in my stuff, but thought the hubby wouldn't like it. I'm going to experiment. I did get him to eat my italian vegetable soup WITH the onions in it. Years ago - I could make 3 gallons of chili and put 2 onion slices in it and he wouldn't touch it. He hates onions. He wants me to puree them. I finally decided it was MY soup recipe and I was going to put onions in it. He tried it and was OK with it. Now he eats it whenever I make it and says he knows there are onions in it but would I please chop them as small as I can. (I won't puree them). A compromise.

I guess I need to begin feeding him the stuff I eat. Egg white omelets. Bean burritos with a little bit of meat - mostly veggies.
I can't expect him to survive on watermelon and sauteed green beans although I love that stuff. He will need some meat to go with it................

I always make my own mayo and I started adding avocado to it. Still has calories, but it's more than egg and oil. He loves putting that on sandwiches. Now I'm trying to get him to eat 100 whole grain wraps as opposed to white bread. He doesn't like wheat or whole grain bread. He thinks they taste like hay. I, on the other hand, don't like white bread.

it's an ongoing thing. we'll get there.