do you consider this process to be healthy for your kids?

I'll have to find this great article someone posted it puts a lot into prospective. Coming as a child who's mother cut out all sugar from the diet I can say that when I was able to eat sugar I rebleled and I think some of that is what caused my weight gain.

There has to be a good balance remember there is not bad food or good food. No unhealthy or healthy food. If it was my child we would focus more on the health aspects teach about cardiovascular health, bone health, if he/she is entering puberty perfect time to discuss nutrition in regards to a developing body.

Going to look for that article...it was one of the best I've read.

Positive and healthy in my case, definitely! But then again my son drinks soda in moderation and eats junk food sometimes. Actually I pretty much let him eat what he wants, within reason, but it is extremely rewarding when he asks for extra vegetables and prefers my vegan food to whatever else is available. He also likes to walk and jog with me sometimes, and we have "crazy dance party" nights about once a week where we crank up the music and bounce around like idiots until our legs collapse. I'm trying to teach him balance, and that a healthy lifestyle doesn't have to be painful or difficult, or full of deprivation.

A few years ago, I worked at a Walmart-style weight loss center (LA Weight Loss... where the motto was "they cry, they buy!" .. sad time in my life, it's done and over haha) -- anyway, I had a client, and I loved her.. She would bring her 2 girls in with her when she got weighed. She called me one day and said she needed to put her program on hold and separate herself from it for a bit.
She went into the bathroom and found her 4 year old on the scale, sighing saying "I gained weight, I need to stop eating so much!"

Scary. Kids can be very easily influenced. I don't talk about my weight loss, I don't complain about my body. My kids see me measuring out my food, and I just say that I like to see how much I eat. And then they want to weigh out theirs, smile at their numbers, and go on to eat.

My take from this letter is that children should never hear self disparaging words from their mothers. You are good enough and you dont need to fix it simply because you are Mom.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/8760102/When-your-mother-says-shes-fat
Dear Mum,
I was seven when I discovered that you were fat, ugly and horrible. Up until that point I had believed that you were beautiful - in every sense of the word. I remember
flicking through old photo albums and staring at pictures of you standing on the deck of a boat. Your white strapless bathing suit looked so glamorous, just like a movie
star. Whenever I had the chance I'd pull out that wondrous white bathing suit hidden in your bottom drawer and imagine a time when I'd be big enough to wear it; when I'd
be like you.
But all of that changed when, one night, we were dressed up for a party and you said to me, ''Look at you, so thin, beautiful and lovely. And look at me, fat, ugly and
horrible.''
At first I didn't understand what you meant.
''You're not fat,'' I said earnestly and innocently, and you replied, ''Yes I am, darling. I've always been fat; even as a child.''
In the days that followed I had some painful revelations that have shaped my whole life. I learned that:
1. You must be fat because mothers don't lie.
2. Fat is ugly and horrible.
3. When I grow up I'll look like you and therefore I will be fat, ugly and horrible too.
Years later, I looked back on this conversation and the hundreds that followed and cursed you for feeling so unattractive, insecure and unworthy. Because, as my first
and most influential role model, you taught me to believe the same thing about myself.
With every grimace at your reflection in the mirror, every new wonder diet that was going to change your life, and every guilty spoon of ''Oh-I-really-shouldn't'', I learned
that women must be thin to be valid and worthy. Girls must go without because their greatest contribution to the world is their physical beauty.
Just like you, I have spent my whole life feeling fat. When did fat become a feeling anyway? And because I believed I was fat, I knew I was no good.
But now that I am older, and a mother myself, I know that blaming you for my body hatred is unhelpful and unfair. I now understand that you too are a product of a long
and rich lineage of women who were taught to loathe themselves.
Look at the example Nanna set for you. Despite being what could only be described as famine-victim chic, she dieted every day of her life until the day she died at 79
years of age. She used to put on make-up to walk to the letterbox for fear that somebody might see her unpainted face.
I remember her ''compassionate'' response when you announced that Dad had left you for another woman. Her first comment was, ''I don't understand why he'd leave
you. You look after yourself, you wear lipstick. You're overweight - but not that much.''
Before Dad left, he provided no balm for your body-image torment either.
''Jesus, Jan,'' I overheard him say to you. ''It's not that hard. Energy in versus energy out. If you want to lose weight you just have to eat less.''
That night at dinner I watched you implement Dad's ''Energy In, Energy Out: Jesus, Jan, Just Eat Less'' weight-loss cure. You served up chow mein for dinner. (Remember
how in 1980s Australian suburbia, a combination of mince, cabbage, and soy sauce was considered the height of exotic gourmet?) Everyone else's food was on a dinner
plate except yours. You served your chow mein on a tiny bread-and-butter plate.
As you sat in front of that pathetic scoop of mince, silent tears streamed down your face. I said nothing. Not even when your shoulders started heaving from your distress. We all ate our dinner in silence. Nobody comforted you. Nobody told you to stop being ridiculous and get a proper plate. Nobody told you that you were already loved and
already good enough. Your achievements and your worth - as a teacher of children with special needs and a devoted mother of three of your own - paled into
insignificance when compared with the centimetres you couldn't lose from your waist.
It broke my heart to witness your despair and I'm sorry that I didn't rush to your defence. I'd already learned that it was your fault that you were fat. I'd even heard Dad
describe losing weight as a ''simple'' process - yet one that you still couldn't come to grips with. The lesson: you didn't deserve any food and you certainly didn't deserve
any sympathy.
But I was wrong, Mum. Now I understand what it's like to grow up in a society that tells women that their beauty matters most, and at the same time defines a standard of
beauty that is perpetually out of our reach. I also know the pain of internalising these messages. We have become our own jailors and we inflict our own punishments for
failing to measure up. No one is crueller to us than we are to ourselves.
But this madness has to stop, Mum. It stops with you, it stops with me and it stops now. We deserve better - better than to have our days brought to ruin by bad body
thoughts, wishing we were otherwise.
And it's not just about you and me any more. It's also about Violet. Your granddaughter is only 3 and I do not want body hatred to take root inside her and strangle her
happiness, her confidence and her potential. I don't want Violet to believe that her beauty is her most important asset; that it will define her worth in the world. When Violet
looks to us to learn how to be a woman, we need to be the best role models we can. We need to show her with our words and our actions that women are good enough
just the way they are. And for her to believe us, we need to believe it ourselves.
The older we get, the more loved ones we lose to accidents and illness. Their passing is always tragic and far too soon. I sometimes think about what these friends - and
the people who love them - wouldn't give for more time in a body that was healthy. A body that would allow them to live just a little longer. The size of that body's thighs or
the lines on its face wouldn't matter. It would be alive and therefore it would be perfect.
Your body is perfect too. It allows you to disarm a room with your smile and infect everyone with your laugh. It gives you arms to wrap around Violet and squeeze her until
she giggles. Every moment we spend worrying about our physical ''flaws'' is a moment wasted, a precious slice of life that we will never get back.
Let us honour and respect our bodies for what they do instead of despising them for how they appear. Focus on living healthy and active lives, let our weight fall where it may, and consign our body hatred in the past where it belongs. When I looked at that photo of you in the white bathing suit all those years ago, my innocent young eyes
saw the truth. I saw unconditional love, beauty and wisdom. I saw my Mum.
Love, Kasey xx
This is an excerpt from Dear Mum, a collection of letters from Australian sporting stars, musicians, models, cooks and authors revealing what they would like to say to
their mothers before it's too late, or would have said if only they'd had the chance.
All royalties go to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. Published by Random House and available now.
- Daily Life

I definately think its a positive thing in my kids like. I learned to eat healthier and my 7 yr old son pretty much will eat it if I eat it. My daughter on the other hand is a very picky eater but I have gotten her to try new things, which is important as well

Hmm I don't know how much help I'll be but here we go:

I've always made a conscious decision not to discuss weight in front of my children. We do talk about healthy food choices and why exercise is good for your body. I've always ate healthily (junk on occasion but awful portion sizes) and exercised often so my kids don't know any different. I make sure to talk about how strong their bodies are because of the good choices they make or how they're running faster/longer etc, rather then how good my daughter looks in her clothes (she's 3 so not a huge issue right now lol). We talk about how calcium is important for your bones and teeth and vitamin A for your eyes, things like that.

So I think this is a healthy and positive process for them because our whole family makes good choices and honestly mine are young enough they don't know that I'm logging food or anything but they do know that I make healthy food choices and that I exercise daily.

Both of my kids go to the gym with me and we do a lot of family activities (walking, flying kites, swimming, baseball, etc) so I think it's normal to them. My son ran a 5k with me 2 months after he turned 6 and my daughter wasn't 3 yet and she did half of it- they were so proud and love getting medals for their hard work.

I let them cook with me as much as possible and we talk about the vitamins/minerals/health benefits in certain foods. We just started homeschooling as well and plan to have 'nutrition' every day at lunch time so they can make sure they are getting a well rounded diet and take some responsibility for that and hopefully it will stick with them as they get older.

Ditto this.

My kids are older and have seen my transformation. They also remeber me when I was larger...I took them to hmeschooling PE classes at the YMCA, and there was always a group of moms in the lobby talking. I wished I could hang out with the moms, but I spent all the time working out (one other mom did, too) because it was the only time I could count on.

Because I am in training for a triathlon, I do tend to obsess about food, and I did kind of give up recently on what they eat for lunch - BUT they are old enough that it was good for them to start making their own lunches. I oversee things with them, they love the independence, and I am freed up to eat what and when I need to.

OP - I think one thing you might want to consider is your word choice. For example, you used the word "poison" several times. I think that is an example of what is "toxic" coming out, and what they are going to rebel against. I don't think your IDEAS are innately wrong (soda should be a treat...) Perhaps you can still get your point across to your kids about healthy vs un- or less- healthy without being so extreme.

diet pop is not poison. In my opinion, that type of talk undermines your credibility as a parent and as an adult.

When I found out that the stories my parents told were fiction, I then dismissed everything they told me as questionable.

You may dislike diet pop, you may choose not to stock your home with it. But calling it poison is a lie. Don't lie to your kids, or yourself.

we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

That's impossible.

The statement "diet pop is poison" is factually inaccurate. It's a lie.

I do not agree to disagree. You may delude yourself about anything you wish. I will be over here, sipping my delicious and safe coke zero.

diet pop is not poison. In my opinion, that type of talk undermines your credibility as a parent and as an adult.

When I found out that the stories my parents told were fiction, I then dismissed everything they told me as questionable.

You may dislike diet pop, you may choose not to stock your home with it. But calling it poison is a lie. Don't lie to your kids, or yourself.

we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

Are you saying that soda/pop is 'poison'? :noway: I had lemonade today and I am still alive!

You sound very obsessive, and I would advocate that everything is fine in moderation, but that some foods don't provide you with as much nutrients. Coming from someone who had eating disorders from the age of 8 which was caused by my mother, you should probably relax some.

something I posted a while back -

TOPIC: Food rules for your kids? Tue 08/14/12 02:45 PM
I'm not a parent but I liked this article.


Things Parents And Grandparents Say That Can Cause Eating & Weight Problems
Article Date: 12 May 2011 - 8:00 PDT


Parents can sometimes forget that they are raising adults, not children. The goal is to equip kids with the skills and increasing responsibility for managing their lives without constant vigilance, according to Michelle May, M.D., author, board-certified family physician, and expert for TOPS Club, Inc. (Take Off Pounds Sensibly), the nonprofit weight-loss support organization.

One key life skill is the ability to navigate an abundant food environment while maintaining optimal health. Here are seven things that well-meaning parents commonly say that may have unintended consequences - and what to say instead:

1. You are such a good eater! - Children want nothing more than to please their parents. While mealtime should be a pleasant time to connect with your children, eating should remain intrinsically driven to meet your child's fuel needs, NOT to earn your praise.

What you could say instead: You must have been really hungry today! Or, I love spending time with you while we have dinner.


2. You are such a picky eater! - All children (and adults) have some foods that they just don't like. Some children are highly taste and/or texture sensitive, but most will outgrow it. Picky eating becomes an entrenched behavior when we berate, beg, bribe - or worse, feed kids only what they say they'll eat.

What you could say instead: I know you didn't like it last time; tell me what you think about it today after you have one polite bite. Or, Did you know your taste buds grow up just like you do? I wonder if you like this big kid food yet?


3. Clean your plate; there are starving children in . - Avoid teaching children scarcity eating behaviors in our plentiful food environment.

What you could say instead: It's important to not be wasteful, so please only take as much as you think you need. Or, If you're full, we can save the rest for later.


4. You have to eat all your vegetables or there will be no dessert. - Kids are smart. When you bribe them for eating certain foods, they quickly realize that those foods must be yucky and that dessert is the reward. They also learn to hold out until a reward is offered.

What you could say instead: I love all kinds of different foods - some that make me healthy and strong and some that are just for fun. What kinds of foods do you like? Or, Enjoy your dinner. We'll be having dessert in a couple hours.


5. Eat all your dinner or you don't get dessert. - This variation on the threat above translates to "you must overeat and I will reward you by giving you more to eat!" Children naturally love sweet foods, so they can learn to override their fullness signals. As an adult, they might be temped to order a 1,200-calorie salad to "earn" a 1,200-calorie piece of cheesecake.

What you could say instead: Save room for dessert tonight!


6. I was so bad at lunch today! Now I have to spend an extra hour on the treadmill. - Children are born to move. They naturally love exploring their environment, challenging themselves, and playing actively. Unfortunately, the messages they get from adults teach them that exercise is punishment for eating.

What you could say instead: I ate more than I needed and now I feel too full and uncomfortable. I think a walk would make me feel better. Want to join me? Or, anybody up for a bike ride?


7. I am so gross and fat! Or, I can't believe has let herself go! - Kids learn from us even when we think they aren't listening. Statements like this teach kids that it's okay to put yourself and others down and judge people for their weight or other physical attributes. Perhaps they also secretly wonder what you really think about them.

What you could say instead: I'm not perfect, but I do my best to make healthy choices.


And whatever else you say, remember to say often... I love you just the way you are.

Source:
TOPS Club Inc. (Take Off Pounds Sensibly)

I don't think it's a negative effect on your kids - at least the checking the labels and making decisions about what to eat or not eat. I think those are all positives.

The only thing that might be negative is any reference to weight. But talking about the nutritional value of foods and making them conscience about it at an early age is a good thing, IMO.

I don't talk about weight with my daughter ever. We do talk about healthy and not so healthy foods. She will tell you that pizza is ok to eat sometimes. The only time I kind of cringe is when she tells someone that what they're eating isn't very healthy but is ok to eat sometimes. She's right, but she's 5 and doesn't understand tact and minding her own business yet. I'm trying to raise my child to make good decisions, enjoy the occasional treats and be active.

In my opinion, someone would be going too far if they are talking about weight with their child. For instance, saying you can't eat that, it will make you fat, or you need to lose weight or it's important to be skinny or a size whatever. That, to me, is setting them up to have issues such as eating disorders.

Soda is poison.

Don't lie to your kids. Just tell them soda has lots of sugar and other ingredients that don't make it healthy if consumed in large quantities. But, don't tell them it's poison.