Just cannot do it!
rosiecbolton
Posts: 85 Member
Hi have been away from MFP for about a month now. I joined up in January and managed to lose a stone. Everything was going well and I lost 1 stone. Unfortunately I have been under a lot of stress in the past few weeks and am suffering from depression. I am back to comfort eating and am undoing all my good work. Seriously considering the gastric band option.
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Replies
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You do understand that even with the surgery, you'll have to change your habits, right? The surgery isn't an automatic success.0
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If you are eating for comfort, surgery won't solve anything. I was a total emotional eater. I was not successful until I took the emotion out of the equation, and began concentrating on mainly eating for sustenance and nutrition. You might have had a setback, but you have done it before and you can do it again. I don't know how many "Day Ones" I have had over the years, but you just have to leave yesterday where it is and start fresh today. You can do it!
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Not sure why we tend to lean towards "Easy" fixes. First you need to figure out what is emotionally eating you in order to fix your outword eating issues. Trust me... I struggle with this one myself.0
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You do understand that even with the surgery, you'll have to change your habits, right? The surgery isn't an automatic success.
This. Exactly.
If you don't address the comfort eating, you'll have a really hard time with the band. First, you'll throw up everything over what your pouch of a stomach can handle... and then when you keep doing that and you are able to handle more and more, you'll put weight back on.0 -
You are better off not getting surgery - risk of infection alone should deter you, also they are going to be doing an invasive procedure that will take quite a while to recover.
Surgery, for anything, should always be the last option. If there's ways to fix it without surgery, wouldn't you rather do that?
And yes, you will still need to change your eating habits. So either way, if you lose weight the good old fashioned way, or have the surgery, you'll still need to change your ways.0 -
You CAN do it! If you want to.
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if you keep telling yourself that you can't, then you're right, you can't and you never will overcome your 'stress' eating habits until you get control over the mental aspect of weightloss.
What is the point of the band if you don't take care of the unhealthy eating habits?0 -
Everyday is a new day. If things are stressful, don't try to change too much too fast. Start by changing one small thing for a week or so and build on top of that. I am trying that myself. I think it allows you to feel successful instead of changing your whole life at one time and then failing. Small victories! You can do this!0
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Just for clarification, what is a stone in pounds? About 15 pounds or so?0
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You absolutely can do it!! You just have to really want it, and believe that you can do it. After you do those two things for real, everything else gets easier.0
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You do understand that even with the surgery, you'll have to change your habits, right? The surgery isn't an automatic success.
THIS...just this...
the surgery fails just as everything else does if you don't change your habits.
there's no point in the surgery if you are going to allow yourself to do this to you.
just don't waste the doctors and your time, please?
YOU have to change you.0 -
WIth that attitude you are sure to fail.
Change it. Only you are in control of yourself.0 -
Hi have been away from MFP for about a month now. I joined up in January and managed to lose a stone. Everything was going well and I lost 1 stone. Unfortunately I have been under a lot of stress in the past few weeks and am suffering from depression. I am back to comfort eating and am undoing all my good work. Seriously considering the gastric band option.
Well, that's an option...but what happens when you get stressed out again and/or depressed? Gastric band doesn't ensure permanent weight loss and you get put on an even more restricted diet than you would with MFP.
My advice...use MFP the way it is intended to be used...select a reasonable weight loss goal for a reasonable calorie deficit that is sustainable...you don't have to lose a gagillion pounds per week. Eat back your exercise calories (google NEAT method...MFP is a NEAT method calculator)...make better overall nutritional decisions but allow yourself the occasional treat...and go get your fitness on. Exercise and fitness is going to do more to help you deal with stress and depression than anything else....
Stressing out....
and dealing with it...
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Just for clarification, what is a stone in pounds? About 15 pounds or so?
You're close. I believe it's 14 lbs.0 -
From your title, it sounds like your verdict is in. You can't. You can't be your best. You can't have the life you imagine in a healthier body. You can't have joy, it's not for you. If your mind is made up, I can't imagine what I, or anyone else, could say to the contrary if it's already been decided.
Unless it hasn't.
That little spark in you, the one that made you post this, the part that doesn't quite believe this is as good as it gets...why don't you let HER drive for a while? I don't care if you mostly think it's hopeless. Start anyway. Just.. F@cking. Begin.0 -
You look a little young to be on MFP, from the looks of your profile pic... :flowerforyou: Just kidding obviously.
Try to keep in mind that even though all that comfort food tastes good, it doesn't necessarily feel good, especially a few hours later. And it *definitely* doesn't help with the stress, depression, anxiety, etc. in the long run. If you've never been to counseling, that might be helpful for your depression. But you can try to help yourself in other ways, specifically by eating tons of fresh vegetables, fruits, and great protein sources and getting in some good workouts that will make you sweat. You already know this isn't as easy as it sounds. But try to step outside your body for a sec and look at your life from a somewhat-objective perspective. Then try to treat yourself like you would a close, best friend who is also struggling with weight and depression. P.M. me if you ever want to chat more.0 -
if you keep telling yourself that you can't, then you're right, you can't and you never will overcome your 'stress' eating habits until you get control over the mental aspect of weightloss.
What is the point of the band if you don't take care of the unhealthy eating habits?
This.0 -
THIS!!You do understand that even with the surgery, you'll have to change your habits, right? The surgery isn't an automatic success.
Someone in my family had the surgery...lost like 100 lbs in about 9 months, kept if off for less than a year, then steadily gained it ALL back again over the next two years (and then some). She also has TONS of stomach problems and get sick from eating all the time.
Don't give up on doing it the right way!0 -
The problem with being an emotional eater is I have a combo of bipolar disorder and I am a recovering borderline personality. I turned to prescription drugs for years and it was easy. I had a drug of abuse for every mood-valium for the anxiety, caffeine pills plus pseudoephrine for drowsiness or slow thoughts and my favourite, the opiates for sadness. People take painkillers for physical pain all the time (and that is how I started out on them) but I ended up taking them for emotional pain and if I had gone on I would have killed myself the doses I was on.
Now I do not have my drugs I am turning to food to alter my mood. It works in the short term but then I get an energy crash and weight gain is slowing me down.
I have put on about 50 lbs since quitting drugs. It is just really tough. I struggle to control my emotions and thus struggle to control my eating. I am thinking of trying overeaters anonymous and seeing if that helps.0 -
I've had gastric band and because I didn't change my habits, I didn't lose weight after the initial loss. I actually GAINED weight over christmas with my band because I was just binge eating whatever I wanted. I thought it would be an easy fix too but it's not. You have to start with nutrition and exercise!0
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I started losing weight at the same time my friend had the lap band surgery...well here we are now I lost a LOT of weight and she weighs 10 pounds more than she did before her surgery. The problem with surgery is it does not fix the mind. You have to conquer your mind before you can conquer your body. There is NO QUICK FIX to weight loss0
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I don't know what kind of plan you were following, but I find a moderate approach is much more sustainable than severe restriction. I don't have anything off limit and if I want it then I have it. As soon as I say to myself I can't have something that something becomes all I can think about. I make fitness goals and work to improve that area. So, a natural result of wanting to reach my fitness goals is that I eat more nutritious food. I weight train and try to reach my protein requirements for the day.
A big thing for me has been to concentrate on ADDING healthy food and movement to my days. Don't concentrate on what you can't have or do. Add more fruits and vegetables to what you are already eating. You can be successful. The biggest battle is with your mind and all the crazy diet schemes seem to come from everywhere.0 -
The problem with being an emotional eater is I have a combo of bipolar disorder and I am a recovering borderline personality. I turned to prescription drugs for years and it was easy. I had a drug of abuse for every mood-valium for the anxiety, caffeine pills plus pseudoephrine for drowsiness or slow thoughts and my favourite, the opiates for sadness. People take painkillers for physical pain all the time (and that is how I started out on them) but I ended up taking them for emotional pain and if I had gone on I would have killed myself the doses I was on.
Now I do not have my drugs I am turning to food to alter my mood. It works in the short term but then I get an energy crash and weight gain is slowing me down.
I have put on about 50 lbs since quitting drugs. It is just really tough. I struggle to control my emotions and thus struggle to control my eating. I am thinking of trying overeaters anonymous and seeing if that helps.
Sounds good. You may also benefit from individual therapy that focuses on building healthy coping skills and behaviors. The key is to own your issues, and make the decision daily to address them appropriately and consistently. Take responsibility for your physical and emotional health and get good people on your team-friends, therapists, a support group like OA, etc.0 -
GB surgery doesn't cure depression.0
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The problem with being an emotional eater is I have a combo of bipolar disorder and I am a recovering borderline personality. I turned to prescription drugs for years and it was easy. I had a drug of abuse for every mood-valium for the anxiety, caffeine pills plus pseudoephrine for drowsiness or slow thoughts and my favourite, the opiates for sadness. People take painkillers for physical pain all the time (and that is how I started out on them) but I ended up taking them for emotional pain and if I had gone on I would have killed myself the doses I was on.
Now I do not have my drugs I am turning to food to alter my mood. It works in the short term but then I get an energy crash and weight gain is slowing me down.
I have put on about 50 lbs since quitting drugs. It is just really tough. I struggle to control my emotions and thus struggle to control my eating. I am thinking of trying overeaters anonymous and seeing if that helps.
The combination of getting sober and taking meds for bipolar disorder helped me pack on 90+ lbs. Until I got sick of being fat, unfit, unable to live the life I wanted to live. So I came to MFP, educated myself about successful weight lose, healthful eating habits and exercise and put what I learned into action.
6 months later I am 30lbs lighter and feeling better than ever. I can't wait for my work to result in the lose of the remaining lbs.0 -
eating poorly to "soothe" your emotions only causes you to have something else to be down in the dumps about...your health. In my experience, when dealing with emotional trauma, if I can continue to make healthy choices, I feel better about myself and I deal better with the emotional trauma. Unfortunately, I had some pretty extreme emotional trauma last summer and I stopped making healthy choices....and that just compounded my troubles. Not only was I having to deal with some emotional crap, but I then became really down about losing the good health that I had gained. It was difficult to stop that growing snowball until I finally did so around Memorial Day. By that time, I had gained back 62 of the 75 pounds I had lost. I am now back on it and doing well...but it really does suck to have to lose the same weight again.0
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Hi have been away from MFP for about a month now. I joined up in January and managed to lose a stone. Everything was going well and I lost 1 stone. Unfortunately I have been under a lot of stress in the past few weeks and am suffering from depression. I am back to comfort eating and am undoing all my good work. Seriously considering the gastric band option.
If it were mey, I'd try counseling first. You need to deal with your depression and find ways to comfort yourself without food, or you'll just end up gaining it all back.0 -
I struggle with an anxiety disorder.
Three years ago, when I was first diagnosed, my doctor put me on medication for it but said, "you know, the best way to manage this is with cognitive therapy, diet and exercise. The medication is just a tool to help get you straight so you can get to a place where you can manage without it."
I didn't listen to him, but I hated the meds. I bounced in and out of them and in and out of severe anxiety attacks and depression.
One year ago my life situation made my anxiety and stress unmanageable, and since I didn't have insurance I couldn't go to the doctor for cognitive therapy OR meds. My choices were to keep going the way I was going and let it overwhelm me and just die, or find another way out. One night after dinner I went for a run. I use the term "run" loosely because I was severely out of shape and couldn't jog for more than 30 seconds at a time. But I felt better when I got home and I kept doing it. After a couple of weeks of nightly runs, I started working on my diet. At first it was just keeping within a calorie goal. Eventually I started actually eating better food.
It's taken me a year, but I have managed to separate my emotions from eating, and boy I did a lot of emotional eating! I gained 10 pounds in two months last summer before I decided to try to manage my situation in another way. And it started with exercise. It got me into a different head space.
I'm telling you this because I came to realize that taking care of my body was part of taking care of my mental health. I still have quite a ways to go before I'm whole again, but I feel like I'm on the right track. Try replacing your emotional eating with something else.
Incidentally, now that I can run, I don't run anymore. I rediscovered my bike and I much prefer that. I've also been strength training. Find something you love to do, even if you suck at it the first time you try. It does get better.0 -
I had lap band in 2009, lost weight initially, but gained it back when I started to get depressed and ate my emotions. PLEASE address your emotional issues and stress otherwise you will yo-yo. I've been over weight most of my adult life and I know the weight is a big reason I get depressed. You're taking the right steps in asking for help. Take it one day at a time. You have to walk before you can run. Best of luck0
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Okay, the first successful thing that I believe you did was to share this very private issue. The replies have been very good and honest. Now, its up to you, how serious are you to get this surgery done to your body? It is a serious type of surgery with many restrictions and challenges. Are you up for that now in your life? Should you decide to wait, perhaps the issues need to be addressed first and foremost. Try making small goals and reaching them within 15 days. Along with that make some changes within yourself holding you back. Perhaps reach out to a good honest friend or relative to help you be accountable. If that does not work for you, a good book offering some self help, personal improvements. The book that helped me with my weight of burdens was Traveling Light, Traveling Light is about leaving your heavy burdens behind and moving forward. Excellent reading. Really keeps you focused and helps you discern the areas in your life that need to be tweeked. A good feeling type of book.
You CAN do it, its just a bump on the road that you can walk over ...soon. Good luck and the sun will shine through these dark clouds today.0
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