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Mom's a hypocrite :'(

2

Replies

  • MelissaL582
    MelissaL582 Posts: 1,422 Member
    She sounds jealous. What ever she does, let that fuel your fire to keep pushing. She'll be eating those words when she starts to see the weight coming off. Kudos to you for taking the big step in changing YOUR life. Good luck to you!
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
    Making changes is tough, especially when you don't have support. But it all comes down to you. Tune out the negativity and keep focusing on the positive. You'll get it done. Congrats on joining MFP. You can manage this.
  • Margaux102819
    Margaux102819 Posts: 17
    Sorry to hear you are getting no support at home. I'm glad you joined here, there are many supportive people here and I wish you all the best in your weight lose!

    I do have some support. Dad's pretty good and he's trying to lose weight as well.

    I did lose a whole bunch of weight before. I went from 175 to 145 my first year of college. I was walking around more because I had no money and no car. So I just packed healthy things and had to eat what I brought with me.

    Then as I became member of clubs and had to stay and work on projects ( and had money lol) I started getting takeout and going out with friends. And gaining weight back.


    Then I became a jobless graduate and I'm stuck at home bored and lonely and I eating my feelings.

    It just bother's me how she says things like:

    "I liked you when you where in your first year of college"
    "I wish I had someone to tell me how fat I was getting when I was gaining weight"
    "Let's start a diet pact so we can both wear those pretty dresses!"

    and then sends me in the car to get her a cheeseburger, fries and gravy.
  • face1984
    face1984 Posts: 6
    I can so relate to you... keep all your energy focused on yourself. Do not let her distract you.. do your best to disregard her crap talk.
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
    Parents have a funny way of "motivating." Mine used to tell me I was FAT and then shove a huge plate of lasagna my way. We had a long conversation, after years of fighting, and it's "all better" now. Feel free to add me if you like. My diary is open to friends, and I can tell you that I'm not perfect. I take it one day at a time. <3
  • carlos13th
    carlos13th Posts: 40 Member
    Just remember the only person you have to keep happy is yourself. Your mom may have the best of intentions but she clearly isn't helping. Your making a positive attempt to change yourself for the better and we all wish you the best of luck.
  • Mrshotwing
    Mrshotwing Posts: 166 Member
    Tell her to go get her own cheesburger and fries. :) Dont let others get you down or determine how far you will go. This is your journey! You are welcome to add me if you would like. :)
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    There's a phrase that I think fits this type of situation perfectly...."Hurting people hurt people."

    She's obviously got pain of her own ...emotional, physical, relational. . .so she lashes out. After long enough, that type of communication becomes their norm.

    See your mom as a person who hurts and is striking out from that place. You don't have to accept her words as truth (Unless she's right), and you don't have to see her as a road block to your success.

    Acknowledge where/who she is, and move on. You can achieve whatever you set your mind to!
  • DaBossLady24
    DaBossLady24 Posts: 556 Member
    Don't let her or anyone else tell you that you're not doing enough when trying is the hardest part. I agree with other people above when they say that she may just be jealous that you're starting to become healthy and she doesn't know how to make that change.

    Glad you joined and know that there are supportive people on here for ya! Good luck and stay strong. :flowerforyou:
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    It just bother's me how she says things like:

    "I liked you when you where in your first year of college"
    "I wish I had someone to tell me how fat I was getting when I was gaining weight"
    "Let's start a diet pact so we can both wear those pretty dresses!"

    and then sends me in the car to get her a cheeseburger, fries and gravy.
    Just keep at it, and when she sees your results, maybe you can inspire her to join you. Sometimes misery just likes company, and perhaps she doesn't know how to motivate herself to get started? I've noticed that most people talk about wanting to get in shape and eat better for a long time before they actually do something about it.

    In the meantime, when she sends you out for fast food, ask her to take a walk with you instead, or to cook a healthy meal with you....
  • RuthP92
    RuthP92 Posts: 11 Member
    My mum shouts at me for putting salad cream (21cals per tablespoon) on my salad, then has Chinese takeaway for tea...
    I honestly think she's jealous that I'm changing my lifestyle.

    Don't worry you have the support of mfp to help you through your journey :)
    Good luck!
  • retiree2006
    retiree2006 Posts: 951 Member
    Joining MFP is the start...so concentrate on "you" for the right reasons and ignore the rest. I wouldn't even say anything if comments are made...just start to lose and before long she'll be asking you what your secret is! And if not...you'll be working for the goal you set for your own health and that's all that is important.
  • IAteBethDitto
    IAteBethDitto Posts: 98 Member
    In a way this is a useful experience. Your mom being in your business like this gives you a good opportunity to respectfully draw a boundary. This could well improve your relationship overall.

    You don't need the support of others to lose weight (or indeed to do most things in life - if I'd relied on the support of my birth family my life would be in a pitiful state now). You just need to settle on what YOU want to happen.
  • sss1966
    sss1966 Posts: 110 Member
    We will support you, sometimes you just have to go it alone x
  • harphy
    harphy Posts: 290 Member
    Yeah, get used to negative comments. My mon's BMI is 32 and mine is 22. Whenever she sees me, she sneers like:" You are so skinny, are you loosing weight to be a model or something?!" My whole family is overweight and obese except me! What they eat is unbelievable and how much even more so.
    Do healthy choices for yourself and don' t look for support in your family and friends circle, because you won't get much or any at all. Keep bumping here and we will support and help you.
  • Margaux102819
    Margaux102819 Posts: 17
    I'm sorry for being so whiny :( But it's great to know that so many people want to help and be supportive <3
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Make your dad your friend in this. But don't make your mom your enemy, but just smile through it and compliment her even when it feels like you'd rather drink battery acid than tell her how great she is.

    Get a food scale that is digital, and weigh and measure everything you eat, and even volunteer to do this for your mom and dad. "Oh, it's no trouble" should be in your vocabulary.

    When your dad sees how dedicated you are, he'll praise you. No promises how your mom will handle it, but it's hard to argue with dedication.

    Most importantly, you will know you're dedicated, and her barbs will start to be less influential.

    Best to you.
  • joleenl
    joleenl Posts: 739 Member
    I think you should call her out on it personally. If she can't be supportive she should at least lay off of you.

    Do not let her get you down. This is your journey and it's about you. Do it for you. There are tons of supportive people on here. There is tons of good information on this site too. (You might have to weed through the garbage to get it) You can do this. If you have a bad day or week or whatever, you always can start again tomorrow. Everyday is a new chance to make healthier choices.
  • leannerae40
    leannerae40 Posts: 200 Member
    Ah, the people who sabotage us, I'm so sorry it's your Mom. Here's the thing. My parents never said anything to me about my weight unless I brought it up. And I REALLY appreciated that. Someone telling me I'm overweight now, my usual response is, "Thanks Captain Obvious". Perhaps they should spend more time repairing the windows in their glass house than worrying about what's outside. I think that in my head, and I also acknowledge that I'm making positive changes NOW. I eat like I'm skinny now, and I don't think (being morbidly obese all my adult life) that I ever understood how hard others worked at this.

    Now that I do, I will make sure that I stay positive, and only find the good I can in others. I can think whatever I want in my head, but there's good in everyone if you really look for it.

    I do love the POSITIVE support on sites like this, and saboteurs often don't even realize what they're doing. If you can, take the time to tell your Mom how you feel. You can't control how she acts, but you can control your reaction. ALWAYS be positive. This brave journey is your time to take the lead and show people how happy you can be with your new attitude.

    It's brave what you're doing - BRAVE! Keep up the great work! KNOW that you can do this.
  • america_c
    america_c Posts: 60
    Hopefully your mom doesn't realize she's being so negative, but if you want to make a real change, you just can't let anyone else bring you down..
    dont-let-someone-talk-you-out-of-your-dreams.png

    ^^this!

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