Mom's a hypocrite :'(

Margaux102819
Margaux102819 Posts: 17
in Motivation and Support
Commenting on my weight and saying to my dad that i'm not losing weight, I must be hiding food in my room. I'm not even going to tell her that I joined MFP today. She'll just be after me for everything I eat and drive me nuts.

This from the woman that eats a full bag of chips and 3 McDonald's sundaes in one day?!?
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Replies

  • Kristy7418
    Kristy7418 Posts: 85
    Sorry to hear you are getting no support at home. I'm glad you joined here, there are many supportive people here and I wish you all the best in your weight lose!
  • MorganLeighRN
    MorganLeighRN Posts: 411 Member
    Honestly, it sounds like she is jealous. Don't let her bring you down. What ever she says, let is go in one ear and out the other. Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like. There are amazing people on here that will give you the support you need.
  • singlefemalelawyer
    singlefemalelawyer Posts: 382 Member
    People who criticize you are most often not happy with themselves. I know it must be hard to hear these things from your mother, but she is probably unhappy in her own skin and in her weird way wants to encourage you to be the best version of yourself.

    You need to do this for yourself first and joining MFP is a great first step. You'll find lots of resources and support here. Don't give up on yourself!
  • White_n_Nerdy
    White_n_Nerdy Posts: 22 Member
    Don't worry about her. You're doing this for you, and you alone. Sometimes we don't lose weight or look smaller, but it's how we feel at the end of the day. My family hasn't always been the most supportive either. My sister is taller than me and about 20lbs lighter. My family eats fast food at every opportunity. Sometimes they force extra food upon me. But at the end of it all, I'm the one who makes decisions about what goes in my body and about how *I* feel about *my* body.

    Keep your head up, you can do this!
  • marekdds
    marekdds Posts: 2,234 Member
    Very supportive people here. Just remember, it isn't about your mom, this is about your healthy lifestyle.
  • 89nunu
    89nunu Posts: 1,082 Member
    Hello there!

    Well, you came to the right spot! Take ownership of your own health and get this ball rolling! Don't listen to anyone else! You can do this!!

    :flowerforyou:
  • mdelcott
    mdelcott Posts: 529 Member
    Use that resentment towards her as a driving motivation to show her that she is WRONG!!
  • lilcassers
    lilcassers Posts: 163
    I am so sorry to hear how unsupportive she is. Given what you said about what she consumes, I am willing to bet that she envies your dedication and willpower. We are all here for you on this forum and we are all striving to be healthy and happy like you!
  • megsi474
    megsi474 Posts: 370 Member
    You know your truth- what you're eating, that you're ready to embark on a journey to better health. It's a shame when someone close wants to project onto you so they don't have to look at themselves, but that just makes for stronger emotional and mental health if you don't let it get to you.
  • debralekicsummers
    debralekicsummers Posts: 56 Member
    Believe in yourself and let this journey be about you and nobody else. You will get loads of support here. Just be strong and take one day at a time and again be strong and do this for you. We only have one life to lead so make it great. Happiness lies within yourself! Good luck!:smile:
  • Echo_Dan
    Echo_Dan Posts: 316 Member
    Sadly what you are experiencing is pretty common. My wife doesn't go to the gym and NEEDS to lose weight but doesn't. She comments on everything I eat or drink whilst ignoring what she is eating. She gets really snappy if I mention food, or exercise or dieting. It's a combination of guilt and wanting to make themselves feel better by putting you down.

    DON'T LET IT GET TO YOU !!!

    Ignore it. It's jealousy. If diet and exercise help you look and feel better then don't let someone get to you. They'll see the results soon enough and then you can take great delight in shoving it in their face :bigsmile:
  • ren_ascent
    ren_ascent Posts: 432 Member
    jnazmom:

    Couldn't have said it better myself!
  • bijouchocolat
    bijouchocolat Posts: 164 Member
    You definitely have us!! My 20 year old daughter lost over 30 pounds this past year. She is looking amazing. I'm proud of her and embrace her courage. You can count on us here to help you along the way.

    Keep up the amazing work young lady! She will come around in time. :)
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Hopefully your mom doesn't realize she's being so negative, but if you want to make a real change, you just can't let anyone else bring you down..
    dont-let-someone-talk-you-out-of-your-dreams.png
  • ShellK71
    ShellK71 Posts: 33
    don't let it get you down. Focus on you and let the negativity slide. She'll see the results soon enough. My co workers including several guys have commented on my weight loss. Husband-has not. Until yesterday when he gave me a hug and said you can feel how much weight you lost. : ) I know my banner only says 6 but I lost about 25 total.It's 6 since I joined this site.
  • Kelley528
    Kelley528 Posts: 319 Member
    She's probably jealous/overweight herself. If she is not overweight, then she is probably just jealous that you have decided to make a positive change in your life and she cant do the same for herself.

    When I was 22 I became a gym rat. By 24 I didnt have an ounce of fat on me and I was toned all over. I remember the day I realized how flat my stomach was. I showed it to my mother and she just looked at me and said its not really that flat!!!..She also told me I looked like a football player. Mind you, I was a size 6 with measurements of 34,28,35. Its actually because of the way my own mother viewed me that I never realized what I actually looked like. I always thought I looked too big and I was never actually thin. I had such a distorted image because I saw myself through her eyes. Don't let your mother or anyone else drag you down. Keep doing what you are doing and try to keep other positive people around you.

    The best thing you can do to stick it to your mother is accomplish your goals in spite of her.
  • ren_ascent
    ren_ascent Posts: 432 Member
    Living with someone who is both negative AND living a bad example is going to make your journey harder than it should have to be. If you want send me a friend request, I'd be happy to be a source of positive feedback.

    Also, it may help to find someone in your circle of family/friends who is on your side. You may just need to be up front with your mom and tell her point blank that you don't appreciate the comments and you're not going to let her bring you down with her.
  • mhoeff1
    mhoeff1 Posts: 163 Member
    so sorry to hear this that is awful I too think she is jelaous but you can become the roll model this is your life and you can loose this weight look on the net for how you should eat and keep up the good work take walks too and everytime you hear her sabatoge you put a smile on your fgface and know that your doing what is best for you were all here for support keep us informed how your doing
  • mperrott2205
    mperrott2205 Posts: 737 Member
    Nearly everyone is a hypocrite. Be the bigger person, ignore your mum and keep being awesome.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
    Honestly, it sounds like she is jealous. Don't let her bring you down. What ever she says, let is go in one ear and out the other. Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like. There are amazing people on here that will give you the support you need.

    :flowerforyou:
  • MelissaL582
    MelissaL582 Posts: 1,422 Member
    She sounds jealous. What ever she does, let that fuel your fire to keep pushing. She'll be eating those words when she starts to see the weight coming off. Kudos to you for taking the big step in changing YOUR life. Good luck to you!
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
    Making changes is tough, especially when you don't have support. But it all comes down to you. Tune out the negativity and keep focusing on the positive. You'll get it done. Congrats on joining MFP. You can manage this.
  • Margaux102819
    Margaux102819 Posts: 17
    Sorry to hear you are getting no support at home. I'm glad you joined here, there are many supportive people here and I wish you all the best in your weight lose!

    I do have some support. Dad's pretty good and he's trying to lose weight as well.

    I did lose a whole bunch of weight before. I went from 175 to 145 my first year of college. I was walking around more because I had no money and no car. So I just packed healthy things and had to eat what I brought with me.

    Then as I became member of clubs and had to stay and work on projects ( and had money lol) I started getting takeout and going out with friends. And gaining weight back.


    Then I became a jobless graduate and I'm stuck at home bored and lonely and I eating my feelings.

    It just bother's me how she says things like:

    "I liked you when you where in your first year of college"
    "I wish I had someone to tell me how fat I was getting when I was gaining weight"
    "Let's start a diet pact so we can both wear those pretty dresses!"

    and then sends me in the car to get her a cheeseburger, fries and gravy.
  • face1984
    face1984 Posts: 6
    I can so relate to you... keep all your energy focused on yourself. Do not let her distract you.. do your best to disregard her crap talk.
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
    Parents have a funny way of "motivating." Mine used to tell me I was FAT and then shove a huge plate of lasagna my way. We had a long conversation, after years of fighting, and it's "all better" now. Feel free to add me if you like. My diary is open to friends, and I can tell you that I'm not perfect. I take it one day at a time. <3
  • carlos13th
    carlos13th Posts: 40 Member
    Just remember the only person you have to keep happy is yourself. Your mom may have the best of intentions but she clearly isn't helping. Your making a positive attempt to change yourself for the better and we all wish you the best of luck.
  • Mrshotwing
    Mrshotwing Posts: 166 Member
    Tell her to go get her own cheesburger and fries. :) Dont let others get you down or determine how far you will go. This is your journey! You are welcome to add me if you would like. :)
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    There's a phrase that I think fits this type of situation perfectly...."Hurting people hurt people."

    She's obviously got pain of her own ...emotional, physical, relational. . .so she lashes out. After long enough, that type of communication becomes their norm.

    See your mom as a person who hurts and is striking out from that place. You don't have to accept her words as truth (Unless she's right), and you don't have to see her as a road block to your success.

    Acknowledge where/who she is, and move on. You can achieve whatever you set your mind to!
  • DaBossLady24
    DaBossLady24 Posts: 556 Member
    Don't let her or anyone else tell you that you're not doing enough when trying is the hardest part. I agree with other people above when they say that she may just be jealous that you're starting to become healthy and she doesn't know how to make that change.

    Glad you joined and know that there are supportive people on here for ya! Good luck and stay strong. :flowerforyou:
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    It just bother's me how she says things like:

    "I liked you when you where in your first year of college"
    "I wish I had someone to tell me how fat I was getting when I was gaining weight"
    "Let's start a diet pact so we can both wear those pretty dresses!"

    and then sends me in the car to get her a cheeseburger, fries and gravy.
    Just keep at it, and when she sees your results, maybe you can inspire her to join you. Sometimes misery just likes company, and perhaps she doesn't know how to motivate herself to get started? I've noticed that most people talk about wanting to get in shape and eat better for a long time before they actually do something about it.

    In the meantime, when she sends you out for fast food, ask her to take a walk with you instead, or to cook a healthy meal with you....

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