I seriously need some help

So I've read several threads about whether or not to eat calories burned during workout in order to achieve the day's net calories. However, the differing opinions and advice have left me more confused than ever! (Which is very frustrating!) Some of my coworkers use mfp and eat never eat their exercise calories and have reported major losses. I've only been using mfp for about 3 weeks and have seen small losses. I want to do the program the correct way; I want to be healthy; Most importantly, I want the weight to stay off. I'm hoping that someone can definitively help clear this up for me.

There is not one right way...thinking there is will keep you confused IMO. Use a site like fat2fitradio.com or fitnessfrog.com to find your BMR, TDEE and read up on how to set your macros there, at least for a start. If you set your calorie goal at "sedentary" you will want to plan on eating back exercise calories, at least a portion of them. If you take your exercise/activity into account when setting them, you will not eat back calories as they will be figured into your goal. You will hear from people who swear by their method as the one best way.

To me, the "best" way is the one that meets the goal of being a healthy, LEAN weight. If you set goals and try them a few weeks with little success, reset them. It is a learning process. BTW, small consistent losses will probably be better for you in the long run. If you take it off too fast, you will most likely not be able to maintain the loss.

Wow. Nice. She asked for advice. I gave my opinion, which I clearly stated. You are free to give yours without having to bash mine. Last I heard about assuming it means making an a** out of you and me.

MFP assumes determines a calorie goal based on the activity level you provide and your vital statistics. It creates a modest, healthy deficit for you based on those values. Any exercise you do above and beyond your daily activity level increases your deficit beyond that healthy margin, so MFP expects you to eat back any exercise calories in order to maintain the deficit set. If you run at a very large deficit, you will continue to lose weight (contrary to a number of posts on these boards). The issue is not whether you'll lose weight, but what weight you will lose and whether the loss will be healthy. When you run a small deficit, your body will pull the extra energy primarily from fat reserves in order to preserve the muscle tissue that is being utilized on a daily basis (a little muscle will also be burned). If the deficit gets larger, the ratio will begin to move more towards burning lean muscle tissue. Muscle requires more calories to upkeep than fat, so if a large deficit goes long enough to convince your body that it is a long term issue, your body will attempt to maintain fat reserves as a low-maintenance energy source for future periods of low food. Thus, at large deficits, people will still report losses (and may even report faster losses), but the weight lost will be mostly muscle; the scale will drop, but the inches won't. Your intake under MFP or TDEE should be more or less the same if you input the values properly. If you exercise regularly and consistently, TDEE will take those exercise calories and factor it into the amount you eat. The only difference is how those calories get divided up over the week.